I was enjoying your story. Good beginning. I hope you finish it sometime.
You're trying to say something, but you need to remember to put new speakers in a new paragraph.
If you need a beta email me.
Don't worry. The mistakes don't make the story any less easy to read. Some people on this site are just not happy unless grammer is perfect.... It's a great story!!! You have to update soon! Surely Elizabeth isn't going to marry Simon??!?! Right?
I really am liking this story but you seriously need a beta reader. It would make your story a lot easier to understand!
Plot was interesting dont give up.
beta reader...truly needed
once again...you need a beta reader. your formatting needs to be fixed along with spelling and grammar. i'd suggest looking over the people on command dynamics who offer to be a beta reader (look over their stuff first) and then ask them to help you out.
Elizabeth doesnt know what she is doing. But I guess he knows what it's like because elizabeth had to put up with his women. But marrying simon.Uhhhhhh...Update soon loved it lots.
Oh yeah It's Simon soz! :)
Great story! Is this man a new guy or Simon?
Author's Response: simon!
clad you like it!
Again, get a beta and work on your formatting. Anything good in a story can get swallowed up if it's too hard to read. But, you have potential, so don't lose hope.
This is really good so far! I like it and really think you should continue! I have NEVER liked Simon!
No offense or anything but it was a bit confusing to read cause there were a few mistakes. I'll beta for you if you want! Just a suggestion!
But Update this!! Please!! Poor John!
SGC
Author's Response: thanks!! for the suggestion!
i'll update as soon as possible!