John took two quick steps as the closet door slid closed behind him before lengthening his stride to head for the briefing room. It was going to be hard to wipe the smile off his face before he got there, but he was pretty sure Elizabeth would be having the same problem. At least, he hoped she would.
“Colonel Sheppard!”
Okay. Not as much trouble as he’d thought. “What do you want Rodney?” he asked, turning to face the scientist and tilting his head just a bit to see if the closet door had closed. It had. Mostly. Something was holding the last couple of inches open, and John vaguely wondered what it was.
“Hi,” Rodney said impatiently, snapping John’s attention back to him. “Have you seen Elizabeth?” Had he seen Elizabeth? It had been dark in that closet. It depended on what his definition of “see” was...
Rodney was still talking. “I need to ask her a question before the briefing. Radek said he saw her heading this way about half an hour ago, but I can’t seem to find her in the chemistry labs... Colonel, why is your shirt on backwards?”
Oops. “Is it?”
“Yes, and inside out unless the military have started wearing their shirts with the tags on the front? Seems like that would itch. And...” Rodney’s gaze flicked down and then back up to meet John’s eyes squarely, “Speaking of style choices, when did it become the fashion to walk around with your fly unzipped?”
Shit. “Shit.” John had been so proud of himself for waiting the whole five minutes before following Elizabeth out. Maybe, he thought as he pulled his zipper up, he should have spent more time putting himself back together and less time counting down and reminiscing. He just couldn’t seem to drag his mind away from Elizabeth – her lips kissing and nibbling down his neck, nails biting into his back, body arching into his and legs tightening around his waist as she...
Now was not the time for this. Rodney smirked at John in a way that made him dearly want to explain exactly why he looked like this. That Ancient storage shelves were much sturdier than they looked. That Elizabeth was a screamer. That he had to cover her mouth with his hand to prevent the sound from alerting the neighbors... The goofy smile was returning. John tried futilely to stamp it down, and focused his attention back on Rodney to distract himself.
“I haven’t seen Elizabeth, Rodney,” he lied, trying to coax the corners of his mouth to at least pretend they weren’t stuck in the goofy idiot position. “But, she’s supposed to be in the meeting in five minutes, so it’s a safe bet that you’ll find her there.” John turned back toward the briefing room expecting Rodney to follow, but the scientist didn’t fall in beside him. “You coming, McKay?”
“Yes. I just need to...” The voice was further away than it should have been. John turned to see Rodney pulling something black and distinctly lacy out of the closet door so that it snicked closed. “Heh.” Rodney held the skimpy bra up like a trophy, and smiled broadly. “Somebody’s going to be missing this little beauty.”
John’s brain couldn’t decide if it should freak out at the evidence hanging from McKay’s hand or stretch his mouth into the biggest, most embarrassingly goobery grin imaginable at the fresh memory of removing that little marvel from Elizabeth’s body. His helpful brain apparently preferred the memory, and it continued to replay the sound of her moaning as he sucked and bit at the hardened nipples beneath. The goobery grin option must have been winning, because McKay’s expression had gotten very suspicious all of a sudden. He was looking from John to the door to the bra with more speculation than was good.
“I’ll just take this to Elizabeth. I’m sure she’ll be interested.”
That idea squashed the smile back down. How had they missed a key article of clothing such as this? How would she react to Rodney presenting it to her? John fervently wished there was a way he could warn her before they reached the meeting, but somehow announcing to her over the radio system that Rodney McKay was bringing her bra with them didn’t seem to be a good option. John started walking.
McKay had to trot to catch up with John. “You dog, you.”
That was unexpected.
“I mean, you really are Kirk, aren’t you. Who was it, then? That hot little chemist that’s always falling all over you at breakfast? I hadn’t realized you went for that type, Colonel, but now that I know...”
John would have been pleased to let Rodney babble but for the fact that the man was still holding the evidence. “No, McKay. What makes you think I have anything to do with it?” He was grasping at straws, trying to throw him off the scent.
“Oh, come on, Colonel. It fits perfectly. Nobody just walks around that rumpled – and pleased with himself, I might add – and just happens to be in the basic vicinity of a lost piece of feminine clothing. You really should fix your shirt, you know. Others will notice.”
“I was going for style points,” John ventured weakly. McKay just smirked again. This was less than pleasant. John sighed and turned his shirt around so that, while still inside out, the front was in the right place. “Why don’t you just give the bra to me McKay? Since I would know who to return it to.” John made a grab for it, but was swatted away.
“Oh no. I don’t think so. I’m going to enjoy watching you squirm while you try to explain this one to Elizabeth.”
If only he knew. Thankfully, they were the last people to arrive at the meeting, and John had a good hour to figure out a game plan. Unfortunately, he failed to come up with anything likely to work. He merely spent the entire meeting trying to catch Elizabeth’s eye and looking meaningfully from her to Rodney and back. John was pretty sure he had simply managed to confuse her, and he stopped that course of action when she finally raised her eyebrow at him, cocked her head a bit to the side, and gently shook it in an unmistakable gesture of *stop doing that*. The rest of the time that he should have been listening, he had been stroking the bite mark on his palm and replaying the feel of Elizabeth’s skin underneath his hands as he undressed her in the dark.
“Colonel? Unless you had something to add?” Elizabeth’s voice broke into John’s reverie, and he snapped back to the now. She and Rodney were both standing at the end of the table and looking at him, and he realized that the meeting had ended. Everybody else had already left the room. John’s smile faded a little. Rodney was smirking, and Elizabeth had a smile and a glint in her eye that told John she knew exactly where his thoughts had been.
John considered telling the truth. //Yes, Elizabeth, I wanted to mention that Rodney found the bra you thought we lost back there in the closet. Oh, and by the way, he knows that it had something to do with me, but not that it’s yours.// Okay. Truth was not the way to go. “Um, no, Dr. Weir. Sounds great,” he scrambled, getting up from his chair and walking over to stand between Elizabeth and Rodney.
“As if you heard anything we just discussed,” Rodney muttered. “Do you even know where we’re going?”
“To an agricultural planet where Teyla thinks we can trade for turkey, or whatever the Pegasus equivalent of that might be called.” Thank God he had read the mission brief. “Elizabeth...”
“Elizabeth,” Rodney said at the same time, and it was too late to stop him. John watched Elizabeth’s face as Rodney extended her bra to offer for inspection. “I found this stuck in a door near the chemistry labs, and thought you might...”
“Thank you Rodney,” Elizabeth cut him off and took the lacy thing from his hand. “I must have dropped it on my way back from the laundry.” John had to hand it to her, she had barely reacted at all. If John hadn’t taken it off her himself, he would never have guessed anything was afoot. Would have been a great cover story if the circumstances were different. She gave John a look that made his heart skip a beat and his temperature rise. “Thank you for returning it. It’s my favorite one, and I really would hate to lose it.”
Rodney turned white and gaped. “Yours,” he squeaked. “How can... You.... and him? In the chemistry... what were you....” he gibbered, his hands flailing.
John stared. He was a dead man. He was a soon to be celibate dead man.
“That will be all Rodney,” Elizabeth said sweetly. Still gibbering, Rodney staggered out of the room leaving only John and Elizabeth. John was still staring. “John? What just happened here?”
“Our hot and steamy secret affair just went public on its first trial run.”
“So Rodney knows,” she said, considering. She looked at him suspiciously, one eyebrow arched in a way that should have made him nervous. “And how is it that he came to this conclusion, John?”
“Probably something to do with the state he caught me in when I left a closet in which he discovered that bra you just claimed as yours.” John tilted his head. “You do realize Rodney’s going to tell the whole city by dinner?” His eyes locked with Elizabeth’s. “Are we ready for that?”
“No, but what options do we have now?” she responded with so much uncertainty that John felt his chest tighten with fear.
“We could end this,” he offered, looking down at his feet and hoping to God she said no. “Stop sharing meals, no more all-night discussions on the couch...” No more quiet comfort shared in letting their hands brush as they passed each other during their days.
“That is not an option,” she said, and John could breathe again.
“In that case,” he announced, taking her hand and leading her into the control room, “I have a plan.” John let his eyes meet Elizabeth’s again.
“Is that so?” she asked with a barely suppressed smile. “ Should I be concerned?”
John smiled impishly, and pulled Elizabeth to him. “Not at all,” he whispered, letting their noses just touch. Elizabeth let out a yelp as he stepped back half a step, slid one hand up to her shoulder, and swung her down into a low and dramatic dip. He kissed her with great flourish, and set her back onto her feet. “I’ll see you tonight,” he growled making sure his voice could be heard by those in the – now very quiet – control room.
“Sounds good,” she replied breathlessly.
John smirked as he strode out of the control room to the sounds of cheers and applause. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Really fun measures.
That ought to steal some of McKay’s thunder.
“Colonel Sheppard!”
Okay. Not as much trouble as he’d thought. “What do you want Rodney?” he asked, turning to face the scientist and tilting his head just a bit to see if the closet door had closed. It had. Mostly. Something was holding the last couple of inches open, and John vaguely wondered what it was.
“Hi,” Rodney said impatiently, snapping John’s attention back to him. “Have you seen Elizabeth?” Had he seen Elizabeth? It had been dark in that closet. It depended on what his definition of “see” was...
Rodney was still talking. “I need to ask her a question before the briefing. Radek said he saw her heading this way about half an hour ago, but I can’t seem to find her in the chemistry labs... Colonel, why is your shirt on backwards?”
Oops. “Is it?”
“Yes, and inside out unless the military have started wearing their shirts with the tags on the front? Seems like that would itch. And...” Rodney’s gaze flicked down and then back up to meet John’s eyes squarely, “Speaking of style choices, when did it become the fashion to walk around with your fly unzipped?”
Shit. “Shit.” John had been so proud of himself for waiting the whole five minutes before following Elizabeth out. Maybe, he thought as he pulled his zipper up, he should have spent more time putting himself back together and less time counting down and reminiscing. He just couldn’t seem to drag his mind away from Elizabeth – her lips kissing and nibbling down his neck, nails biting into his back, body arching into his and legs tightening around his waist as she...
Now was not the time for this. Rodney smirked at John in a way that made him dearly want to explain exactly why he looked like this. That Ancient storage shelves were much sturdier than they looked. That Elizabeth was a screamer. That he had to cover her mouth with his hand to prevent the sound from alerting the neighbors... The goofy smile was returning. John tried futilely to stamp it down, and focused his attention back on Rodney to distract himself.
“I haven’t seen Elizabeth, Rodney,” he lied, trying to coax the corners of his mouth to at least pretend they weren’t stuck in the goofy idiot position. “But, she’s supposed to be in the meeting in five minutes, so it’s a safe bet that you’ll find her there.” John turned back toward the briefing room expecting Rodney to follow, but the scientist didn’t fall in beside him. “You coming, McKay?”
“Yes. I just need to...” The voice was further away than it should have been. John turned to see Rodney pulling something black and distinctly lacy out of the closet door so that it snicked closed. “Heh.” Rodney held the skimpy bra up like a trophy, and smiled broadly. “Somebody’s going to be missing this little beauty.”
John’s brain couldn’t decide if it should freak out at the evidence hanging from McKay’s hand or stretch his mouth into the biggest, most embarrassingly goobery grin imaginable at the fresh memory of removing that little marvel from Elizabeth’s body. His helpful brain apparently preferred the memory, and it continued to replay the sound of her moaning as he sucked and bit at the hardened nipples beneath. The goobery grin option must have been winning, because McKay’s expression had gotten very suspicious all of a sudden. He was looking from John to the door to the bra with more speculation than was good.
“I’ll just take this to Elizabeth. I’m sure she’ll be interested.”
That idea squashed the smile back down. How had they missed a key article of clothing such as this? How would she react to Rodney presenting it to her? John fervently wished there was a way he could warn her before they reached the meeting, but somehow announcing to her over the radio system that Rodney McKay was bringing her bra with them didn’t seem to be a good option. John started walking.
McKay had to trot to catch up with John. “You dog, you.”
That was unexpected.
“I mean, you really are Kirk, aren’t you. Who was it, then? That hot little chemist that’s always falling all over you at breakfast? I hadn’t realized you went for that type, Colonel, but now that I know...”
John would have been pleased to let Rodney babble but for the fact that the man was still holding the evidence. “No, McKay. What makes you think I have anything to do with it?” He was grasping at straws, trying to throw him off the scent.
“Oh, come on, Colonel. It fits perfectly. Nobody just walks around that rumpled – and pleased with himself, I might add – and just happens to be in the basic vicinity of a lost piece of feminine clothing. You really should fix your shirt, you know. Others will notice.”
“I was going for style points,” John ventured weakly. McKay just smirked again. This was less than pleasant. John sighed and turned his shirt around so that, while still inside out, the front was in the right place. “Why don’t you just give the bra to me McKay? Since I would know who to return it to.” John made a grab for it, but was swatted away.
“Oh no. I don’t think so. I’m going to enjoy watching you squirm while you try to explain this one to Elizabeth.”
If only he knew. Thankfully, they were the last people to arrive at the meeting, and John had a good hour to figure out a game plan. Unfortunately, he failed to come up with anything likely to work. He merely spent the entire meeting trying to catch Elizabeth’s eye and looking meaningfully from her to Rodney and back. John was pretty sure he had simply managed to confuse her, and he stopped that course of action when she finally raised her eyebrow at him, cocked her head a bit to the side, and gently shook it in an unmistakable gesture of *stop doing that*. The rest of the time that he should have been listening, he had been stroking the bite mark on his palm and replaying the feel of Elizabeth’s skin underneath his hands as he undressed her in the dark.
“Colonel? Unless you had something to add?” Elizabeth’s voice broke into John’s reverie, and he snapped back to the now. She and Rodney were both standing at the end of the table and looking at him, and he realized that the meeting had ended. Everybody else had already left the room. John’s smile faded a little. Rodney was smirking, and Elizabeth had a smile and a glint in her eye that told John she knew exactly where his thoughts had been.
John considered telling the truth. //Yes, Elizabeth, I wanted to mention that Rodney found the bra you thought we lost back there in the closet. Oh, and by the way, he knows that it had something to do with me, but not that it’s yours.// Okay. Truth was not the way to go. “Um, no, Dr. Weir. Sounds great,” he scrambled, getting up from his chair and walking over to stand between Elizabeth and Rodney.
“As if you heard anything we just discussed,” Rodney muttered. “Do you even know where we’re going?”
“To an agricultural planet where Teyla thinks we can trade for turkey, or whatever the Pegasus equivalent of that might be called.” Thank God he had read the mission brief. “Elizabeth...”
“Elizabeth,” Rodney said at the same time, and it was too late to stop him. John watched Elizabeth’s face as Rodney extended her bra to offer for inspection. “I found this stuck in a door near the chemistry labs, and thought you might...”
“Thank you Rodney,” Elizabeth cut him off and took the lacy thing from his hand. “I must have dropped it on my way back from the laundry.” John had to hand it to her, she had barely reacted at all. If John hadn’t taken it off her himself, he would never have guessed anything was afoot. Would have been a great cover story if the circumstances were different. She gave John a look that made his heart skip a beat and his temperature rise. “Thank you for returning it. It’s my favorite one, and I really would hate to lose it.”
Rodney turned white and gaped. “Yours,” he squeaked. “How can... You.... and him? In the chemistry... what were you....” he gibbered, his hands flailing.
John stared. He was a dead man. He was a soon to be celibate dead man.
“That will be all Rodney,” Elizabeth said sweetly. Still gibbering, Rodney staggered out of the room leaving only John and Elizabeth. John was still staring. “John? What just happened here?”
“Our hot and steamy secret affair just went public on its first trial run.”
“So Rodney knows,” she said, considering. She looked at him suspiciously, one eyebrow arched in a way that should have made him nervous. “And how is it that he came to this conclusion, John?”
“Probably something to do with the state he caught me in when I left a closet in which he discovered that bra you just claimed as yours.” John tilted his head. “You do realize Rodney’s going to tell the whole city by dinner?” His eyes locked with Elizabeth’s. “Are we ready for that?”
“No, but what options do we have now?” she responded with so much uncertainty that John felt his chest tighten with fear.
“We could end this,” he offered, looking down at his feet and hoping to God she said no. “Stop sharing meals, no more all-night discussions on the couch...” No more quiet comfort shared in letting their hands brush as they passed each other during their days.
“That is not an option,” she said, and John could breathe again.
“In that case,” he announced, taking her hand and leading her into the control room, “I have a plan.” John let his eyes meet Elizabeth’s again.
“Is that so?” she asked with a barely suppressed smile. “ Should I be concerned?”
John smiled impishly, and pulled Elizabeth to him. “Not at all,” he whispered, letting their noses just touch. Elizabeth let out a yelp as he stepped back half a step, slid one hand up to her shoulder, and swung her down into a low and dramatic dip. He kissed her with great flourish, and set her back onto her feet. “I’ll see you tonight,” he growled making sure his voice could be heard by those in the – now very quiet – control room.
“Sounds good,” she replied breathlessly.
John smirked as he strode out of the control room to the sounds of cheers and applause. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Really fun measures.
That ought to steal some of McKay’s thunder.