Chapter 5: Memories
John didn’t know how much time had elapsed since he had been left alone in the empty room. He only knew it had been a while. He passed the time by sitting on the hard floor and staring at the dull gray of the walls, waiting for something to happen. The Replicators were going to come back eventually and try and question him again, it was only a matter of when they decided to do so. And this time, he guessed, they weren’t going to be so patient with his lack of cooperation.
He wondered again what they were doing on this planet, and what role Elizabeth was playing in all of this. Apparently she was able to function as a member of their community to some extent, though what she did he had no idea. All he knew was that she had been put under torture, that much was clear from her face. He felt fury stir within him, imagining the anguish, both physical and mental, that these Replicators had inflicted on her. Whatever he did, he swore, he was going to make them pay for that.
The room’s walls became as good as a theater screen as John occupied himself with his thoughts. He imagined crushing every single Replicator in the galaxy to pieces, and then dumping all the left over dust in the middle of a sun somewhere, effectively wiping them out of existence forever and permanently dissolving that particular thorn in the expedition’s side. Occasionally he would plan an escape attempt, but quickly discarded each one as being full of too many flaws, too many things that could go wrong.
He thought about all of these things, but mostly, he remembered. Seeing Elizabeth again after all of that time had really thrown him for a loop. Memories that he had tried to ignore after she disappeared were forced into his mind. They were memories of just her presence - of being able to look up any time and see her sitting in her office or standing on the balcony outside of the control room. There was the glint in her eyes when some new discovery had been made, and the way the excitement showed in her voice, and... the smile that he noticed she saved just for him...
An indeterminate amount of time later, the door panel opened and two large Replicators walked in. “Come with us,” they said. John hoisted himself to his feet before they could seize him.
“Okay, no need to get grabby, I’m coming.” One of them pulled out a stun weapon and gestured to the door with it before pointing it at him. The other did the same. John obediently left the room, getting his first glimpse of the complex outside his cell. There was nothing around that told him much about their plans here. Gray doors lined a nondescript white hallway, their access panels glowing an eerie blue, even in the plentiful light. His escorts prodded him in the back with their guns, marching him down the corridor. Other Replicators walked past, ignoring the prisoner, their faces unnaturally emotionless.
His guards took him along the next passage, opening a door and shoving him inside the chamber. “Sheppard!” was the first thing he heard. McKay and Ronon hurried over to him from where they had been sitting across the room. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
“Well, aside from this really large bruise on my arm...”
“We’re fine,” interrupted Ronon with a glare in McKay’s direction. He looked at John. “What’s the plan?”
“At the moment... I haven’t got one.” He glanced back and forth at his two teammates. Neither one seemed in a state of shock at the moment, so he assumed that they hadn’t seen Elizabeth. Not quite sure how to tell them just yet, he asked another question. “Either of you find out anything about what’s going on here?”
“Nothing. We’ve been locked up in separate rooms the whole time, and haven’t....” Rodney trailed off, staring at something behind John, his mouth hanging open in bewilderment. Ronon took a step back. John hadn’t heard the door open, but he could guess what, or who, they were seeing.
He turned around. Kedan had walked in, an unknown Replicator at his side, with Elizabeth following behind them.
McKay stammered her name in disbelief.
“Hi, Rodney,” she said with a small smile. “Ronon. It’s good to see you.”
“Yeah,” said Rodney, “How... wait. Wait just a minute.” Irritation replaced the awe in his voice. “This is all fake isn’t it? I’ve got a hand stuck in my forehead right now haven’t I?”
“No, Rodney, you don’t,” said John. “It’s all real. Elizabeth is real.”
He looked at him. “Really? Because you could be fake too.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“And I’m just supposed to take your word on that?”
“Enough,” ordered Kedan, stepping forward. “You will stop this now. We are not inside your head at the moment, Dr. McKay. And now we are the ones who will be asking questions. You will be given one last chance to tell us - why are you here?”
“Actually, I can think of a better question,” said John. “Why are you on this planet?”
“Very well.” Kedan’s eyes unfocused for a second, and the door opened. Two Replicators entered, dragging Shanna between them. The woman looked absolutely terrified as they pushed her to her knees before Kedan. “Please...” she whispered. He extended his hand and plunged it into her forehead.
“Stop it! She doesn’t know anything!” John yelled. He fought the urge to go pull her away from him, knowing it would only get him shot. “Let her go!”
His pleas were ignored. A few minutes later Kedan slid his hand out of her head. She let out a cry of pain and collapsed to the ground, sobbing. John felt anger fill him. He had to get everyone out of here. He had made a promise and he intended to keep it.
Kedan stepped back. “She knows nothing,” he said to the other Replicators. Elizabeth glared at him and moved to kneel beside her.
“They told you that, it wasn’t necessary to search her mind!” She helped Shanna sit up and began to put an arm around her shoulders, but the sobbing woman shrank away from her touch. Hurt flashed across Elizabeth’s face for a moment and she stood up again. John could only imagine how she felt. She was one of the most caring people he knew, and being feared couldn’t have been easy for her.
Kedan motioned for his companions to move forward, lining up in front of the team. The two who had escorted John walked behind them, forcing each one to their knees. Ronon struggled uselessly against their iron grip as he was shoved to the floor beside Rodney. At some invisible signal, the Asurans simultaneously sank their fingers into the foreheads of each prisoner. Except John.
“I think, Colonel Sheppard, that for your interrogation, something special is required,” said Kedan. He turned to Elizabeth, who was watching the proceedings with a sick, angry look on her face. “Doctor Weir.”
She looked at him, horrorstruck. “What...? No,” she breathed, backing away. “I won’t. I won’t do it.”
Kedan grabbed her wrist and yanked her forward. “Yes, Dr. Weir, you will.” He began to guide her hand towards John. She resisted, but her struggles had no effect, no matter how hard she tried. It was like she was no longer in control of her own body. “Please...” she begged, her voice breaking.
John recoiled from the pale hand coming towards him, revulsion his automatic response. He mentally cursed the thing that forced Elizabeth to do this. He could barely move, and couldn’t help the gasp of pain as fingertips dissolved into his head.
oOo
Everything went black for a moment, and then John found himself standing on the balcony overlooking Atlantis’s gate room. The lights were off and everything was bathed in a blueish glow that came from nowhere. He looked around. The place was deserted. “Hello?” he called. “Anybody home?”
Well, he hadn’t really expected an answer anyway. He turned away and was about to start searching the rest of the control room when he heard the familiar sound of a stargate being dialed. He resumed his previous position and watched as the gate’s event horizon bloomed into life beneath him. The kawoosh snapped back into place and was still for a moment, the chevrons glowing their bright blue. And then people began to step through. Very familiar people. A group of Marines carrying P-90’s mounted with flashlights swept into the room, immediately securing the area. Within a minute, another figure, this one a woman, emerged from the shimmering blue puddle. She looked around her in awe, taking everything in. The leader of the Marines spoke into his radio, giving the all clear, and soon other people began to pour from the gate, filling the room with their gear, one in particular catching John’s attention- a man with dark hair that stuck up at impossible angles and a wondering look on his face.
Lights flickered on as the man walked up a set of steps. “Who’s doing that?” asked the brunette woman who had come through first. John watched her as she explored the control room, excitement making her green eyes glitter. She got a call on her radio, calling her to a place three levels down. “Right away,” she replied.
Suddenly everything shifted. John found himself standing behind a small group of people clustered in front of a window. “We’re underwater,” the woman said in astonishment, looking out at a city covered with several hundred feet of blue-green ocean.
The scene changed again. He was back in the gate room, but this time it was in chaos, expedition members rushing to evacuate, a scared looking group of locals huddled around the gate. The woman and the dark-haired man were standing in the middle of it all, shouting at each other. “... shield is about to fail, and the ocean is about to come crashing down on us. Do you have any better place for us to go?” she demanded. He grabbed a boy by the arm and led him towards the stairs. “The shield is collapsing!” yelled a voice. The room began to shake violently, knocking some people to the floor... “We’re moving!” As the city broke the surface, the green water fell away from the windows, letting sunlight pour in. As everything settled, they rushed to a window, relief and amazement at their sudden reprieve visibly filling all of them. The woman and the man looked at each other and smiled.
A shift again. He was inside his quarters on Atlantis. He looked around and saw himself laying on his bed, an enormously large book in his hands. The door chimed. “Come in,” he - the one on the bed - called. The door opened, revealing an Elizabeth with much shorter hair.
“Hi, do you have a moment?” she asked.
“Yeah, sure,” he said, sitting up.
“War and Peace? Hm... that’s some heavy reading.”
“Well, back on Earth, when I was getting ready for this mission, I realized there was a good chance that I might be here for a while. So I figured, why not bring along a book that takes a long time to read?”
She glanced at the book. “Page seventeen,” she said, an amused look on her face.
“I’m right on schedule.”
“Have you finished that thing yet?” wondered a voice behind him. John turned around and found his Elizabeth standing there.
“No, not yet. I figure I’ve still got a couple of months to go.” She smiled. “My memories, huh?” She nodded apologetically. “Right,” he said, nodding as well. They both watched as the other versions of themselves finished their conversation.
“Regardless, I’m staying,” said Elizabeth.
“Good.” He smiled. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
The room faded, and he turned to face Elizabeth. “I was right,” he said. “It isn’t the same.” She looked at him sadly, and then they were standing in the gate room. It was dark. Lightning flashed outside the windows, and wind and rain beat mercilessly against the tower. John stuck his hands in his pockets and slowly pivoted in time to see Commander Kolya of the Genii grab a soaking wet Elizabeth and use her as a human shield. He saw himself run forwards, his P-90 aimed and ready. “I will shoot you if you don’t let her go,” he heard himself say, menace dripping from every word.
Even now, years later, seeing that moment made him clench his fists in anger. He walked up to the figures living out his memories. The look of absolute hatred on his face startled even him with its intensity. He watched as Kolya dragged Elizabeth backwards towards the stargate, fear enveloping her face, never taking her eyes off of the man in front of her. “And risk hurting Dr. Weir?” taunted Kolya. John wanted to grab the gun out of his own hands and shoot him again right then and there. “I’m not aiming at her,” his past self said fiercely, and fired a bullet into Kolya’s shoulder, knocking him through the stargate. Past John ran up to his Elizabeth, who had fallen to the floor, shouting an order to Ford. He held out his hand to her. “Sorry about that. I had to... you okay?” He helped her to her feet. “No,” she said honestly, still clearly shaken. He nodded. “You will be,” he said. “Come on.” He took her hand and ran with her up the stairs.
John watched them go, then glanced over at Elizabeth, who was doing the same thing. “That was one of the most terrifying moments of my life,” she admitted, watching the team as they rushed to raise the shield and save the city.
“It wasn’t exactly a picnic for me either. That made it twice, no, three times in one day I thought I... we, were going to lose you.” She took her eyes away from the scene playing out up in the control room and looked at him. He hadn’t noticed it before, but she was no longer wearing the white, Asuran style clothes she had been, but instead had on a long-sleeved, wine colored v-necked shirt and black pants.
He blinked, and they were outside, perfectly dry, in the rain. Specifically, on one of the grounding stations. Past John stood there, getting completely drenched, yelling into a Genii communicator. “This city has a self destruct button. You hurt her I’ll activate it, nobody’ll get Atlantis!”
Kolya’s voice came over the radio. “Even if it exists, Major, you’ll need at least two senior personnel to activate it. And I’m about to take one of them out of the equation.”
“Kolya?!! Kolya! I’ll give you a ship! I’ll fly it out of here for you myself!” Desperation filled his voice. “Kolya!! Don’t do this!!”
John wanted to turn away. It was difficult for him to watch this, even more difficult with Elizabeth there. She walked over to his past self and looked at him, her arms folded across her chest. The radio came to life again. “Major Sheppard, how’s this for credibility? Weir is dead.”
Fury twisted the major’s face. “I- am going- to kill you,” he choked out, before putting the radio down, turning around and running back into the city. Elizabeth walked back towards John, a newly sympathetic look on her face.
“It was bad enough just hearing you over the radio. Actually seeing you...” She shook her head, unable to find the words.
“Well...” said John awkwardly. She laid a hand on his arm and met his eyes, silently thanking him. He nodded in acceptance.
In a flash, they were on the balcony. It was a clear, sunny day, a soft breeze blowing and the water far below sparkling. They were alone this time, no memories to watch. John looked out and noticed that this was the horizon from Atlantis’s new home-world, not Lantea. One of the moons hovered above them, barely visible in the daylight. Elizabeth leaned against the railing and eyed the view, just like she had countless times before, on a different world. And, just like he had done countless times before, he moved to stand beside her at the railing, the act as natural and as thoughtless as breathing.
“John,” she began hesitantly a few moments later, “why... why are you letting me do this?”
He knew perfectly well what she was talking about, but decided to play dumb. “Do what?”
“I’m... I’m inside your head. I’m controlling your memories. You should be fighting me every second, but you’re not. You’re not even trying to hide anything from me!”
He twisted his head to look over at her. She was staring at him in disbelief, waiting for an answer. He sighed. He sighed because he knew she was right - he should be resisting this. The very idea of it should have made him cringe - she was inside his head like a Replicator. But... it didn’t. “I... I don’t know why,” was all he could think of to say. “But there are worse things, Elizabeth, than having you in my head.”
“John...” she sighed in exasperation. “How can you be okay with this? It’s...”
“It’s you,” he interrupted. “Not Kedan, not Oberoth, you, and you’re acting like I should be afraid of you!”
She turned away and stared at her hands as they hung over the railing. “Well, maybe you should be,” she said quietly. A minute later, she spoke again. “I’m sorry for this. So very sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, he made you do it.”
She nodded. “They want me to search your mind, find out why you’re here. I just want you to know that I can’t do that. I won’t.”
“What are they going to do when you don’t give them anything?” he asked worriedly.
She shrugged and wouldn’t answer. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” She wouldn’t look at him. He sighed. “Actually, this was just supposed to be a routine mission - search the planet, meet the locals... you know, the usual.”
“John, stop it,” she ordered. He ignored her.
“When I set foot on this planet, I had no idea what I would find. But I definitely didn’t expect this. We heard about the Replicators from the people in the village, and came to find out what they were doing here. That’s all, and it’s the truth. Now let them have that and see if it will do them any good.”
She actually looked near tears. He gave her a moment to pull herself together. She suddenly looked up at him, her face concerned. “You’ve been having nightmares.” He was surprised at the sudden change of subject, but she had been right. He hadn’t been hiding anything from her; she must have picked up on a random memory floating around somewhere. “Nightmares about me... oh, John...”
He waved away her concern. “It’s nothing. Who doesn’t have bad dreams every once in a while?”
“Well, I’m sorry for those too,” she said earnestly, disregarding his comment. The breeze blew her hair out behind her, and she sighed, closing her eyes. “You wanted to know what the Replicators are doing on this planet.” She opened her eyes and met his. “I think I can help with that.”
John didn’t know how much time had elapsed since he had been left alone in the empty room. He only knew it had been a while. He passed the time by sitting on the hard floor and staring at the dull gray of the walls, waiting for something to happen. The Replicators were going to come back eventually and try and question him again, it was only a matter of when they decided to do so. And this time, he guessed, they weren’t going to be so patient with his lack of cooperation.
He wondered again what they were doing on this planet, and what role Elizabeth was playing in all of this. Apparently she was able to function as a member of their community to some extent, though what she did he had no idea. All he knew was that she had been put under torture, that much was clear from her face. He felt fury stir within him, imagining the anguish, both physical and mental, that these Replicators had inflicted on her. Whatever he did, he swore, he was going to make them pay for that.
The room’s walls became as good as a theater screen as John occupied himself with his thoughts. He imagined crushing every single Replicator in the galaxy to pieces, and then dumping all the left over dust in the middle of a sun somewhere, effectively wiping them out of existence forever and permanently dissolving that particular thorn in the expedition’s side. Occasionally he would plan an escape attempt, but quickly discarded each one as being full of too many flaws, too many things that could go wrong.
He thought about all of these things, but mostly, he remembered. Seeing Elizabeth again after all of that time had really thrown him for a loop. Memories that he had tried to ignore after she disappeared were forced into his mind. They were memories of just her presence - of being able to look up any time and see her sitting in her office or standing on the balcony outside of the control room. There was the glint in her eyes when some new discovery had been made, and the way the excitement showed in her voice, and... the smile that he noticed she saved just for him...
An indeterminate amount of time later, the door panel opened and two large Replicators walked in. “Come with us,” they said. John hoisted himself to his feet before they could seize him.
“Okay, no need to get grabby, I’m coming.” One of them pulled out a stun weapon and gestured to the door with it before pointing it at him. The other did the same. John obediently left the room, getting his first glimpse of the complex outside his cell. There was nothing around that told him much about their plans here. Gray doors lined a nondescript white hallway, their access panels glowing an eerie blue, even in the plentiful light. His escorts prodded him in the back with their guns, marching him down the corridor. Other Replicators walked past, ignoring the prisoner, their faces unnaturally emotionless.
His guards took him along the next passage, opening a door and shoving him inside the chamber. “Sheppard!” was the first thing he heard. McKay and Ronon hurried over to him from where they had been sitting across the room. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
“Well, aside from this really large bruise on my arm...”
“We’re fine,” interrupted Ronon with a glare in McKay’s direction. He looked at John. “What’s the plan?”
“At the moment... I haven’t got one.” He glanced back and forth at his two teammates. Neither one seemed in a state of shock at the moment, so he assumed that they hadn’t seen Elizabeth. Not quite sure how to tell them just yet, he asked another question. “Either of you find out anything about what’s going on here?”
“Nothing. We’ve been locked up in separate rooms the whole time, and haven’t....” Rodney trailed off, staring at something behind John, his mouth hanging open in bewilderment. Ronon took a step back. John hadn’t heard the door open, but he could guess what, or who, they were seeing.
He turned around. Kedan had walked in, an unknown Replicator at his side, with Elizabeth following behind them.
McKay stammered her name in disbelief.
“Hi, Rodney,” she said with a small smile. “Ronon. It’s good to see you.”
“Yeah,” said Rodney, “How... wait. Wait just a minute.” Irritation replaced the awe in his voice. “This is all fake isn’t it? I’ve got a hand stuck in my forehead right now haven’t I?”
“No, Rodney, you don’t,” said John. “It’s all real. Elizabeth is real.”
He looked at him. “Really? Because you could be fake too.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“And I’m just supposed to take your word on that?”
“Enough,” ordered Kedan, stepping forward. “You will stop this now. We are not inside your head at the moment, Dr. McKay. And now we are the ones who will be asking questions. You will be given one last chance to tell us - why are you here?”
“Actually, I can think of a better question,” said John. “Why are you on this planet?”
“Very well.” Kedan’s eyes unfocused for a second, and the door opened. Two Replicators entered, dragging Shanna between them. The woman looked absolutely terrified as they pushed her to her knees before Kedan. “Please...” she whispered. He extended his hand and plunged it into her forehead.
“Stop it! She doesn’t know anything!” John yelled. He fought the urge to go pull her away from him, knowing it would only get him shot. “Let her go!”
His pleas were ignored. A few minutes later Kedan slid his hand out of her head. She let out a cry of pain and collapsed to the ground, sobbing. John felt anger fill him. He had to get everyone out of here. He had made a promise and he intended to keep it.
Kedan stepped back. “She knows nothing,” he said to the other Replicators. Elizabeth glared at him and moved to kneel beside her.
“They told you that, it wasn’t necessary to search her mind!” She helped Shanna sit up and began to put an arm around her shoulders, but the sobbing woman shrank away from her touch. Hurt flashed across Elizabeth’s face for a moment and she stood up again. John could only imagine how she felt. She was one of the most caring people he knew, and being feared couldn’t have been easy for her.
Kedan motioned for his companions to move forward, lining up in front of the team. The two who had escorted John walked behind them, forcing each one to their knees. Ronon struggled uselessly against their iron grip as he was shoved to the floor beside Rodney. At some invisible signal, the Asurans simultaneously sank their fingers into the foreheads of each prisoner. Except John.
“I think, Colonel Sheppard, that for your interrogation, something special is required,” said Kedan. He turned to Elizabeth, who was watching the proceedings with a sick, angry look on her face. “Doctor Weir.”
She looked at him, horrorstruck. “What...? No,” she breathed, backing away. “I won’t. I won’t do it.”
Kedan grabbed her wrist and yanked her forward. “Yes, Dr. Weir, you will.” He began to guide her hand towards John. She resisted, but her struggles had no effect, no matter how hard she tried. It was like she was no longer in control of her own body. “Please...” she begged, her voice breaking.
John recoiled from the pale hand coming towards him, revulsion his automatic response. He mentally cursed the thing that forced Elizabeth to do this. He could barely move, and couldn’t help the gasp of pain as fingertips dissolved into his head.
oOo
Everything went black for a moment, and then John found himself standing on the balcony overlooking Atlantis’s gate room. The lights were off and everything was bathed in a blueish glow that came from nowhere. He looked around. The place was deserted. “Hello?” he called. “Anybody home?”
Well, he hadn’t really expected an answer anyway. He turned away and was about to start searching the rest of the control room when he heard the familiar sound of a stargate being dialed. He resumed his previous position and watched as the gate’s event horizon bloomed into life beneath him. The kawoosh snapped back into place and was still for a moment, the chevrons glowing their bright blue. And then people began to step through. Very familiar people. A group of Marines carrying P-90’s mounted with flashlights swept into the room, immediately securing the area. Within a minute, another figure, this one a woman, emerged from the shimmering blue puddle. She looked around her in awe, taking everything in. The leader of the Marines spoke into his radio, giving the all clear, and soon other people began to pour from the gate, filling the room with their gear, one in particular catching John’s attention- a man with dark hair that stuck up at impossible angles and a wondering look on his face.
Lights flickered on as the man walked up a set of steps. “Who’s doing that?” asked the brunette woman who had come through first. John watched her as she explored the control room, excitement making her green eyes glitter. She got a call on her radio, calling her to a place three levels down. “Right away,” she replied.
Suddenly everything shifted. John found himself standing behind a small group of people clustered in front of a window. “We’re underwater,” the woman said in astonishment, looking out at a city covered with several hundred feet of blue-green ocean.
The scene changed again. He was back in the gate room, but this time it was in chaos, expedition members rushing to evacuate, a scared looking group of locals huddled around the gate. The woman and the dark-haired man were standing in the middle of it all, shouting at each other. “... shield is about to fail, and the ocean is about to come crashing down on us. Do you have any better place for us to go?” she demanded. He grabbed a boy by the arm and led him towards the stairs. “The shield is collapsing!” yelled a voice. The room began to shake violently, knocking some people to the floor... “We’re moving!” As the city broke the surface, the green water fell away from the windows, letting sunlight pour in. As everything settled, they rushed to a window, relief and amazement at their sudden reprieve visibly filling all of them. The woman and the man looked at each other and smiled.
A shift again. He was inside his quarters on Atlantis. He looked around and saw himself laying on his bed, an enormously large book in his hands. The door chimed. “Come in,” he - the one on the bed - called. The door opened, revealing an Elizabeth with much shorter hair.
“Hi, do you have a moment?” she asked.
“Yeah, sure,” he said, sitting up.
“War and Peace? Hm... that’s some heavy reading.”
“Well, back on Earth, when I was getting ready for this mission, I realized there was a good chance that I might be here for a while. So I figured, why not bring along a book that takes a long time to read?”
She glanced at the book. “Page seventeen,” she said, an amused look on her face.
“I’m right on schedule.”
“Have you finished that thing yet?” wondered a voice behind him. John turned around and found his Elizabeth standing there.
“No, not yet. I figure I’ve still got a couple of months to go.” She smiled. “My memories, huh?” She nodded apologetically. “Right,” he said, nodding as well. They both watched as the other versions of themselves finished their conversation.
“Regardless, I’m staying,” said Elizabeth.
“Good.” He smiled. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
The room faded, and he turned to face Elizabeth. “I was right,” he said. “It isn’t the same.” She looked at him sadly, and then they were standing in the gate room. It was dark. Lightning flashed outside the windows, and wind and rain beat mercilessly against the tower. John stuck his hands in his pockets and slowly pivoted in time to see Commander Kolya of the Genii grab a soaking wet Elizabeth and use her as a human shield. He saw himself run forwards, his P-90 aimed and ready. “I will shoot you if you don’t let her go,” he heard himself say, menace dripping from every word.
Even now, years later, seeing that moment made him clench his fists in anger. He walked up to the figures living out his memories. The look of absolute hatred on his face startled even him with its intensity. He watched as Kolya dragged Elizabeth backwards towards the stargate, fear enveloping her face, never taking her eyes off of the man in front of her. “And risk hurting Dr. Weir?” taunted Kolya. John wanted to grab the gun out of his own hands and shoot him again right then and there. “I’m not aiming at her,” his past self said fiercely, and fired a bullet into Kolya’s shoulder, knocking him through the stargate. Past John ran up to his Elizabeth, who had fallen to the floor, shouting an order to Ford. He held out his hand to her. “Sorry about that. I had to... you okay?” He helped her to her feet. “No,” she said honestly, still clearly shaken. He nodded. “You will be,” he said. “Come on.” He took her hand and ran with her up the stairs.
John watched them go, then glanced over at Elizabeth, who was doing the same thing. “That was one of the most terrifying moments of my life,” she admitted, watching the team as they rushed to raise the shield and save the city.
“It wasn’t exactly a picnic for me either. That made it twice, no, three times in one day I thought I... we, were going to lose you.” She took her eyes away from the scene playing out up in the control room and looked at him. He hadn’t noticed it before, but she was no longer wearing the white, Asuran style clothes she had been, but instead had on a long-sleeved, wine colored v-necked shirt and black pants.
He blinked, and they were outside, perfectly dry, in the rain. Specifically, on one of the grounding stations. Past John stood there, getting completely drenched, yelling into a Genii communicator. “This city has a self destruct button. You hurt her I’ll activate it, nobody’ll get Atlantis!”
Kolya’s voice came over the radio. “Even if it exists, Major, you’ll need at least two senior personnel to activate it. And I’m about to take one of them out of the equation.”
“Kolya?!! Kolya! I’ll give you a ship! I’ll fly it out of here for you myself!” Desperation filled his voice. “Kolya!! Don’t do this!!”
John wanted to turn away. It was difficult for him to watch this, even more difficult with Elizabeth there. She walked over to his past self and looked at him, her arms folded across her chest. The radio came to life again. “Major Sheppard, how’s this for credibility? Weir is dead.”
Fury twisted the major’s face. “I- am going- to kill you,” he choked out, before putting the radio down, turning around and running back into the city. Elizabeth walked back towards John, a newly sympathetic look on her face.
“It was bad enough just hearing you over the radio. Actually seeing you...” She shook her head, unable to find the words.
“Well...” said John awkwardly. She laid a hand on his arm and met his eyes, silently thanking him. He nodded in acceptance.
In a flash, they were on the balcony. It was a clear, sunny day, a soft breeze blowing and the water far below sparkling. They were alone this time, no memories to watch. John looked out and noticed that this was the horizon from Atlantis’s new home-world, not Lantea. One of the moons hovered above them, barely visible in the daylight. Elizabeth leaned against the railing and eyed the view, just like she had countless times before, on a different world. And, just like he had done countless times before, he moved to stand beside her at the railing, the act as natural and as thoughtless as breathing.
“John,” she began hesitantly a few moments later, “why... why are you letting me do this?”
He knew perfectly well what she was talking about, but decided to play dumb. “Do what?”
“I’m... I’m inside your head. I’m controlling your memories. You should be fighting me every second, but you’re not. You’re not even trying to hide anything from me!”
He twisted his head to look over at her. She was staring at him in disbelief, waiting for an answer. He sighed. He sighed because he knew she was right - he should be resisting this. The very idea of it should have made him cringe - she was inside his head like a Replicator. But... it didn’t. “I... I don’t know why,” was all he could think of to say. “But there are worse things, Elizabeth, than having you in my head.”
“John...” she sighed in exasperation. “How can you be okay with this? It’s...”
“It’s you,” he interrupted. “Not Kedan, not Oberoth, you, and you’re acting like I should be afraid of you!”
She turned away and stared at her hands as they hung over the railing. “Well, maybe you should be,” she said quietly. A minute later, she spoke again. “I’m sorry for this. So very sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, he made you do it.”
She nodded. “They want me to search your mind, find out why you’re here. I just want you to know that I can’t do that. I won’t.”
“What are they going to do when you don’t give them anything?” he asked worriedly.
She shrugged and wouldn’t answer. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” She wouldn’t look at him. He sighed. “Actually, this was just supposed to be a routine mission - search the planet, meet the locals... you know, the usual.”
“John, stop it,” she ordered. He ignored her.
“When I set foot on this planet, I had no idea what I would find. But I definitely didn’t expect this. We heard about the Replicators from the people in the village, and came to find out what they were doing here. That’s all, and it’s the truth. Now let them have that and see if it will do them any good.”
She actually looked near tears. He gave her a moment to pull herself together. She suddenly looked up at him, her face concerned. “You’ve been having nightmares.” He was surprised at the sudden change of subject, but she had been right. He hadn’t been hiding anything from her; she must have picked up on a random memory floating around somewhere. “Nightmares about me... oh, John...”
He waved away her concern. “It’s nothing. Who doesn’t have bad dreams every once in a while?”
“Well, I’m sorry for those too,” she said earnestly, disregarding his comment. The breeze blew her hair out behind her, and she sighed, closing her eyes. “You wanted to know what the Replicators are doing on this planet.” She opened her eyes and met his. “I think I can help with that.”