Ronon tapped his shoulder as he passed the black pot from the mess kit around to John. "It's good. Eat it."

John took the offering in his free hand and sniffed it. Setting it down to lift the spoon to his mouth, he made his decision, "Tastes like chili."

"It's really not bad." Carson agreed as he dug into his bowl. "Reminds me of something my mom used to make on camping trips."

Teyla settled back, leaning against the wall of the cafeteria where they had set up camp. She wrapped her hands around her cup and took her time with her tea. "My people bring it with on hunting trips, much like your MRE's."

"Tastier though." John held out his bowl and let Ronon fill it. Resting it on his thigh, he brought his spoon carefully up to his mouth.

"Speak for yourself." Rodney piped up from his olive-colored sleeping bag. "I happen to be very fond of our MREs."

"They're all we'll be eating until we get the gate fixed anyway," John struggled with his dinner and finally gave up on his spoon. Lifting his bowl to his mouth, he drank it. "And this-" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "But I could get used to this."

"Tava bean stew." Teyla offered easily as she shut off the tiny cook stove. Dumping what was left into John's bowl, she grinned as he continued to eat one handed. "Ronon and I brought as much preserved food as we could."

"And we-" John looked at Carson who nodded appreciatively in agreement, "Are grateful."

"Aye, I could eat this a few more times than a dehydrated pile of spaghetti." Grinning as he demolished the last of his stew, Carson accepted a cup of tea from Teyla and started unpacking his sleeping bag.

With the stove off, the only light left was a lantern. It cast strange shadows on the ceiling of the cafeteria. John watched them dance as he drank the last of his stew. "Is anyone else reminded of a lock-in at school?"

Rodney's sleeping bag rustled as he rolled up onto his elbows. "I never would have picked you as one to stay one second longer than the bell."

John struggled to shift his arm enough to hand his bowl to Teyla. She graciously moved to him and took it. "They locked me in with girls." He looked to Ronon for understanding. "I was young, it seemed like a good way to catch them."

Ronon shrugged and helped Teyla assemble the dishes for morning. "Seems like it could be fun."

Rodney scoffed as he rolled away from them. "Seems like you don't have any problems getting them now."

Carson grinned a little bit as he snuggled into his sleeping bag. "You should have seen them in the jumper."

John stiffened slightly, it was still too soon to joke about what he'd seen Elizabeth go through. When he moved he disturbed the head on his shoulder. She moaned softly before settling down again. Teyla had finished setting the dishes aside and was laying out his sleeping bag.

His left arm was nearly numb from the weight of her Elizabeth's sleeping form, but he couldn't displace her without feeling his guilt come rushing back. She'd sat down next to him and fallen asleep as soon as soon as dinner began. Carson promised she was resting comfortably but John was still uneasy. She wasn't the one who got hurt. She was supposed to be the person who smiled at him when he was bleeding all over the deck of a jumper.

"Do you require assistance?" Teyla wondered politely as she pointed to the sleeping bag for the sleeping Doctor Weir. "Ronon or I could-"

John shook his head. "I think I can manage, if you'll get her off my arm."

Teyla smiled softly and helped remove the weight from his side. "Of course."

Rodney snorted into his sleeping bag. "I suppose you're going to just sweep her off her feet?"

"She's asleep." John tossed back as he shook out his arm. "It's pretty hard to sweep someone who's unconscious." He squatted down to slip his arms around her. "Takes all the fun out of it when they can't play hard to get." Straightening his back and getting his balance, he settled her into his arms. Her surgery had exhausted her to the point where he doubted anything he did would wake her. Even so, he walked as carefully as he could across the dark floor.

Dropping down slowly, he stopped to remove her boot from her good leg before tucking her into her sleeping bag. He didn't notice Teyla and Ronon watching him as he toyed with a curl of Elizabeth's hair. When he was convinced she was comfortable as she could be under the circumstances, John returned to the lantern and snuffed it. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he returned to her side. His own sleeping bag was just a few steps away, but he needed to watch her a moment more. The pain was gone from her face. The corners of her eyes were still puffy from tears, but Carson promised she'd heal.

Protected by the darkness, John let himself kiss her forehead. Climbing into his own sleeping bag, he remembered the kiss. The memory of her arms around his neck as she melted into his lips followed him into his dreams.

---

John awoke smiling. Teyla and Ronon were already sorting their supplies. He crept out of his sleeping bag and checked his mess kit for his toothbrush. Rodney and Carson were both snoring, and he couldn't help wondering how Elizabeth slept through it.

Ronon gave him a crooked grin as he returned. "They would make terrible hunters." Turning to set his supply of rations on the table with the others, he shot a glance back to the snoring duo. "Scare away all their prey."

Teyla started counting, forming numbers on her lips as she went. John turned to the other two tables stocked with weapons. They had six ARGs, Ronon's personal blaster, ten pistols, one full case and a few extra grenades. They had slightly less than a case of C4, some smoke bombs and a handful of his favorite flashbang grenades. Six mess kits took up a little space at the edge of the table. There'd been little room for niceties, a small bundle of soap and toothpaste was all they had.

John grabbed a bar of soap and a flashlight. "I'm going to go get little bits of dead Replicators out of my hair." Glancing back over between his sleeping bag and Elizabeth's he saw her bloody sock and boot. Maybe he could get them clean enough to wear for her. None of them had any extra clothes.

Teyla paused in her counting and nodded. "Rodney said the desalination tanks were full and they are near the top of the city."

"Great! Water pressure." John grinned cheerfully. "Excellent way to start off the morning. An ice cold shower."

Ronon shrugged and bit into a power bar. "Stay dry. Stay warm."

"Stay filthy." John shook his head and grabbed a power bar for himself. "I'll be back." Sighing to himself when he realized that the only people who would truly understand the true meaning of that phrase were asleep, he whistled himself down the hallway. He walked past the room that used to be his and wondered who had moved it when he'd left. He could just pop in and shower there, but he stopped in front of the door. It just didn't feel right. The room wasn't his anymore.

Further down were the communal showers attached to the barracks, those would be all right. No probably dead Ancients would be upset if he used those. Stripping off his clothes, he pulled out his own socks and boxer shorts. Leaving them on the floor of the shower where the water would reach them, he switched on the water. Standing under the frigid water just long enough to wet his hair, he shut it off again as he soaped himself. Lathering up enough soap on his hands, John rubbed it through his socks. His clothes would clean easily, but Elizabeth's sock was more difficult. Dried blood ran brown down the drain in the center of the room.

He washed the soap from his hair and his chilled skin, rubbing his fingers against his scalp before they turned numb. Grabbing his towel he rubbed it quickly across himself, goose-bumps started to form in the chill air, but he felt more human. John rang the water out of his boxers and pulled them back on, hoping they'd dry quickly. He hung his socks over the edge of the sink and kept working on Elizabeth's sock. He let it soak for a moment before trying again to get the blood out. When it moved easily in his hand, he wrung it out one last time.

Carrying his boots and the wet socks over his arm, John returned to the cafeteria. Carson was munching on the last of a power bar and Teyla had made more of her tea. John set out the socks over the edge of the table, sitting down with his cold bare feet in the warmth of his sleeping bag.

Rodney gave the three socks an odd glance and dug into his packet of MRE oatmeal. "As I was saying, the pulse I created caused a polarization in the circuits of the city. Everything that was on when it fired was damaged, which explains why it was so easy to fix the forcefield."

"It was off?" Carson ventured as he blew across the top of his tea. "Ye couldn't trip the breaker because it was off."

"Yes, I suppose, if you want to put it that simply." Rodney looked gave his oatmeal the disdainful look meant for Carson, but he continued his explanation. "Now it's possible to remove the polarization by exposing the circuits to a slight magnetic field but we're going to have to do each of them individually. That means every crystal between the power station and the end of each pier is going to have to be recalibrated by hand." He paused to take a few bites of oatmeal before he kept going.

"It's going to take a while to get all the circuits working again, but I think we can do it." He gestured with his spoon, digging it into his bowl for emphasis. "Of course we're going to have to discuss it with Doctor Weir when she's awake, but I think we should start with the gate."

John watched Elizabeth's sleeping back and tried to anticipate her orders. "I want a full sweep of the city, every corridor, every room. If the Asurans left anything behind, I want to know about it. As soon as Rodney gets the gate running we need to find General O'Neill and Mr. Woolsey."

"I'd like to take Carson with me." Rodney gulped down the last of his oatmeal and pulled on his boots. "Some of the crystals I have to work with are very tiny, and surgeon's hands would be useful."

Carson shrugged amiably and finished his tea. "I'd like to be useful I suppose."

"Ronon and Teyla, you've won the city sweep." John collected few dishes from breakfast and started heating water to watch them. "I'll hold down the fort and take Elizabeth to the gate when she wakes up. We'll start there and meet Rodney and Carson somewhere in the middle."

Rodney laughed bitterly. "I hope you know this is weeks of tedious, incredibly detailed work. I don't even know if we'll make it ten meters a day."

"How far is it from the power room to the gate room?" Carson wondered curiously.

Rodney tugged his arm and dragged him off towards the power room. "You don't really want to ask that."

"Oh just tell me Rodney." Their arguing voices echoed down the corridor until they disappeared down the stairs.

Teyla left him doing dishes with a quiet smile. Ronon nudged his shoulder and grinned in obvious amusement. "You have made changes when you were on Earth."

John became very interested in the spoons he was washing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Ronon's smile broadened knowingly. "Of course not." Still mysterious amused, he disappeared after Teyla, they weren't even around the corner before his laughter rang richly down the corridor.

Setting the clean dishes down on a table out of the way, John shut off the little camp stove and headed to the back room to dump the water. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to figure out what else he could do while he waited. Realizing his socks might be dry, he grabbed them and started to put them on.

Balancing clumsily on one foot as he put on the first, John toppled over entirely when Elizabeth suddenly sat up.

"Simon!" Her voice rang over the thud of John falling and his cursing that followed. Her heart raced in her chest, flooding her body with more adrenaline. Pulling her arms defensively up, she looked around wildly for a moment.

John scrambled over, grabbing her head with his hands. He was probably holding her too tightly, but she calmed as soon as his eyes locked with hers. "Hey, it's okay. You're safe. Just me, no Replicators, no Wraith, no blood-sucking aliens of any kind."

She slid back, panic fading from her face. Elizabeth started to pull up her knees out of the sleeping bag, but she stopped. Wincing when she moved her bad leg, she looked away from his concern.

"You all right?" John grabbed her foot, keeping her from moving her leg any further until he had checked the bandage. Some blood had dried on the gauze, but nothing to cause concern. "It's still pretty dry, Beckett did a good job. Still probably hurt like hell for awhile."

Nodding sharply as she brushed his hands away, Elizabeth tried to get her bearings. "We were having dinner."

"You fell asleep." He retrieved his socks and quietly put them on. "Guess you got used to a full night's worth back on Earth." John grabbed her washed sock as well, taking her foot again and gently rolling it back on. "Bad dreams?"

"Something like that." She ran her hands through her hair, pushing it back out of her face. "The Asurans made it to Earth, they were looking for the Ancients, torturing our people until we told them where they were."

"Sounds pretty nasty." He gestured towards the cook stove. "I can whip you up some breakfast if you want." John glanced over at Teyla's neat rationing of their MREs and smiled optimistically. "It looks you can choose between rehydrated oatmeal and power bars. I'd go with the power bar myself. Less cooking time."

Elizabeth's smile was weak, polite but too exhausted to be comforting. "Where's everyone else?"

"Searching, fixing things, damn Replicators sure made a mess of the place." John handed her a power bar and the last of the breakfast tea. "Rodney thinks we can fix it, it's just going to take awhile."

"A few weeks or the rest of our lives?" Elizabeth managed a tiny smirk over the edge of her cup.

"Probably closer to the latter." John set her shoes near the edge of her sleeping bag. "Sooner if you're up for a little electrical work."

She raised an eyebrow and took a bite of the corner of her power bar. Making a face, she sniffed it and read the wrapper. "What kind is this?"

"Vanilla." John pointed at the writing on the wrapper. "It's one of the more bland kinds, but I'm saving the chocolate peanut butter until we really need something special."

"I don't think I'm hungry." Elizabeth swallowed her bite and then quickly swallowed again as she shook her head. "No," she covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry."

Tilting his head, John gave her a sympathetic smile. "Last time Beckett was digging around in my insides I had a little trouble with food too. Should drink your tea though. Start making up for all that blood you lost."

"Ruined the upholstery in your jumper didn't I?" Elizabeth tied her boot on her good foot and tried to force her nausea away. She jolted her injured leg when she tried to put on her other boot. Biting her lip kept her from making a sound, but John had an uncanny way of sensing her pain.

He unlaced her boot slightly, easing her foot in slowly. "You really did. Worse than the twelve pack of coke that exploded in my chopper back in Antarctica." John finished knotting her bootlaces and stood up. "It gets better."

Stubbornly finding her way to her feet on her own, Elizabeth tested her leg as John looked for the tool kit. It hurt whenever she rested her weight on it, but the dull pulling ache was a definite improvement from the day before. "When did you get so optimistic?"

John swung the tool kit over his back and grinned innocently. He gestured around the cafeteria, "We're home."

"We've fried the city-" Elizabeth started.

"We get to camp." John shot back as he slipped his arm around her back to steady her.

"We have just have MREs and power bars for food," she continued, starting to smile a little.

John took his time as she took the steps slowly. "McKay likes MREs and power bars grow on you."

Staring down at her ruined pants, Elizabeth looked up smiling. "No spare clothes."

Shrugging, John let her lean against the wall as he opened the door manually. "No laundry."

She finally giggled slightly, wondring if not having do laundry was really something special for him. "No rescue and the entire Replicator armada undoubtedly bearing down on us."

"I don't even think I'm going to dignify that with a response." John hit the crystals when they wouldn't open. "When do we not have an alien armada bearing down on us?" He hit the door again and it creaked open. "And," he paused and forced the door far enough open for both of them. "The last we fought them we kicked some ass and got a couple ZPMs out of the deal. So far, things are looking up."

This time she waited for John's arm, enjoying the contact. "Optimist."

He turned, just centimeters from her face. "Nay-sayer."

Her heart pounded in her chest. Stubble was starting to darken his face. Running her thumb across his chin, Elizabeth smiled gently. "At least we're home."

Her lips were wet, perfect in the light of his flashlight and the soft blue from the water-covered windows. Making out in the corridor would be much more fun than digging around in the floor of the Gate Room. John seriously contemplated her lips, remembering the warmth of her against his body. He started to turn away and felt her sigh. Disappointment seeped through her back. Turning back, he kissed her, surprising himself as he forced her back against the wall. Instead of the soft kiss she'd led last night, this was a fact-finding mission.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and relaxed into his arms. No one had kissed her as if they would die if they stopped in more years than she cared to remember. For a moment she even worried if she was kissing him back correctly. Her head floated, flushed and rushing away without her permission. John's body pressed her back and her breasts protested. They were sore and overly sensitive. Even through the thick fabric of her black shirt, her breasts made her acutely aware of every movement of his chest against hers.

John managed to speak first. "We should fix the gate."

"The gate." Elizabeth repeated softly. Eventually she nodded, trying not to think about how much time they'd have before anyone came looking for them.

"Yeah." He stood there longer than he had too, feeling the warmth of her against him. "We should."

She couldn't move with him there, but mentioning it would have made him move. Elizabeth tried to look away, turning her attention back to the gate. His hand was on her hip, burning through so it was all she could think about. She coughed, "We have a job to do."

"Yeah." John finally moved, letting her keep her grip on his shoulder for balance. "We have a lot to get done."

"Okay." It took thought to breathe. Elizabeth had to concentrate just on herself and try and forget that he was there at her side.

"We really should, maybe, talk-" John nearly choked, "about this?"

Without the kiss distracting her, Elizabeth's head hurt. Her stomach was off. Her single bite of power bar had left an odd taste in her mouth that even kissing him hadn't gotten rid of. Why was she dreaming about Simon? Why did she feel like everything was falling apart when she was finally back home? Everything was backwards. John, the one who couldn't put together his feelings, suddenly wanted to talk and that conversation was one of the handful in her life that truly terrified her.

"What do we have to do to fix the gate? Did Rodney explain it to you?" Her words sounded hollow as she ignored his attempt to be mature. John's face turned stoic, and she wondered belatedly if she'd hurt him.

"Well," he set her down at the foot of the gate and started taking out his tools. "We just have to reverse the polarity in every circuit from here to the power room."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow incredulously, hoping he was joking.

John grinned ironically. "When Rodney breaks something, he breaks it good." With a grunt he removed a chunk of the floor tile and slid it aside. Beneath it long, thin crystals lay dark and waiting for them. "Do you want to be the shock or the magnet?" He held up two tools and made room for her next to the hole.

Sliding over and rolling down to her stomach, she gave him a grateful smile for letting her change the subject. She picked the one in his left hand and waited for him to show her what they were doing.

---

After a few hours her hands hurt. John started stretching his fingers every half an hour or so, but it didn't seem to be helping him much. The floor was hard and cold and the muscles of Elizabeth's shoulders started to cramp from her position. After she dropped the magnet twice in a row as they tried to reach a crystal, John sighed heavily. "Break?"

He rolled over, stretching out his arms lazily and staring up at the ceiling. They lay there, still silent. John's fingers were twitchy. He knew better. He knew a hundred reasons why he shouldn't ask, but none of them were more insistent than his stubborn, jealous desire to know.

"Who's Simon?" John let the question hang in the air and wondered if he'd even asked it. Elizabeth sat up, her back notably in his direction. He'd asked. He was pathetic. He was really, truly and utterly pathetic. He listened to his fingers drumming on the floor and sat up.

"I shouldn't've," John started to back down, ready to let the question go. He'd even go back to work.

"We were together almost five years." Elizabeth rested her head in her hands. "Ever since I moved to Washington."

From behind she looked fragile. Her shoulders hunched forward and her hair curled unruly down her neck. It drove John nuts that he couldn't watch her eyes. He'd gotten so used to telling her moods in her eyes.

"Simon is a doctor who-" Elizabeth prayed her voice would hold. "Was doing a shift in the vaccination clinic. I was about to be sent to Pakistan to work on the non-proliferation treaty. I needed full set of shots to travel. He got so distracted talking to me that he nearly gave me the shot for yellow fever twice."

Her shoulders shook slightly, and her hands wrapped nervously over her chest. John decided she was laughing instead of crying, but he really couldn't tell. "I didn't mean," he began quickly, nearly cutting her off. "Really, it's none of my business."

"He asked me to dinner twice, once before I left and again when I came back from Pakistan." She shook her head slowly, and her curls tried to cling to her shirt. "He was funny. Sweet. Intelligent. He didn't make me feel like I had to dumb myself down to have a conversation with him." Elizabeth's hand escaped to her cheek. "There isn't much else."

When she was sure her eyes were still dry, she turned around, staring John down as if he was ready to contradict her. "I came to Atlantis on such short notice all I got to send him was a video tape. I-"

Her eyes stung. Elizabeth couldn't let him see, but she couldn't stop. For some reason she kept talking, almost against her will. "I should have made the time to tell him but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything more than goodbye last year. When the Wraith were coming, I felt like I had to let him go."

John watched as she rocked with her knees. He should be saying something profound. Something that would make her eyes stop looking so liquid.

"But he didn't need my permission." Her words grew sharp as the bitterness welled in her stomach. "He-" She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold back the last of her composure. John didn't need to see her like this. "God. I shouldn't still be thinking about him, it was more than a year ago." Elizabeth lost one tear. It escaped slowly down her cheek and hung on her chin for a moment before disappearing down to the floor.

John reached towards the wet spot on the tile. Studying the droplet as if it held the answers. "He found someone in the same galaxy."

Elizabeth nodded, feeling her stomach twist into a knot. "I told him it was all right. I didn't expect him to wait for me." Her stomach jumped, tugging the knot up through her insides towards her heart.

"But you waited." John finished for her. "You spent a year of your life waiting for him and when you came home he already had someone else."

She opened her mouth, but shut it before she could give herself away.

John shrugged apologetically, "Guys know how we think. We'll never admit it, but we're all pretty much the same." He reached for her and stopped, pulling his hand back. "I was just-"

"It's all right." Elizabeth caught his hand on its way back to his lap and held it. "I just can't control myself right now."

He reached his free hand down into his pocket and came up with nothing. "Head hurt?" He slid over, letting her keep his hand as he moved to her side.

"My stomach actually." Elizabeth dropped his hand to force her hair back behind her ears. "I keep feeling like I'm going to be sick."

"Can I recommend the waste slot in the corridor that way?" John pointed over his shoulder easily. "Normally I'd say the floor would be fine, but we have to lie on it for awhile yet."

She dropped her head to her knees and tried to quiet her stomach. "Is it because of my leg?"

"I think we'd better be saving that question for Beckett." John resisted the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. She probably didn't want to be manhandled by her military commander.

Elizabeth turned her head enough to look at him. "Humor me." Swallowing was just denying the inevitable. "You've had more injuries than-"

"Rodney's ahead of me." John injected firmly as he toyed with one of the screwdrivers from the toolkit.

"Than most people." Elizabeth corrected with as much of a smile as she could muster. "Is it just because I lost some blood?"

John shrugged again and grinned sheepishly. "I'm just a fly boy."

"But?" Her fingers found his hand and wrapped cold around it.

"Bleeding like that messes up the whole system." He gestured down his body with his free hand and dropped the screwdriver he was playing with. "It'll-"

"Get better." Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried to think about anything but her stomach. "Have I mentioned I can't stand being sick to my stomach?"

John chuckled softly and slid a little closer. "No."

"I can't. It just drives me crazy. Everything you do makes it worse, and even if you don't do anything-" Elizabeth dropped her head to her knees again.

"If you don't do anything you're still sick." John finished for her and watched her knucles whiten as she held his hand. "Why didn't he come to Atlantis?" He couldn't believe himself. He should know better than to ask difficult questions. All he was trying to do was keep her talking and he had to keep bringing up the man who'd dumped her.

"Who?" Elizabeth's head came up for a moment, but her grip got tighter on his hand.

"Simon." John studied his boots intently, too nervous to look at her face. His voice in his head reminded him he was an idiot. "If he was a doctor he could have applied, come with us to the city on the Daedelus with all those other scientists."

"He did. I mean he applied." She covered her mouth with her hand again, squeezing his fingers even harder. Elizabeth let go suddenly and wrapped her hand over her stomach. "Carson would have picked him, he just wouldn't sign-" shaking her head slowly she stopped speaking and swallowed again.

"The non-disclosure?" John guessed lightly, trying to keep her in the conversation. Elizabeth shook her head and closed her eyes. "The commitment to a year?" He guessed again, and this time earned the slightest of nods.

"Just couldn't commit." The back of her throat stung from stomach acid. "Not to a mission like this. He called me the explorer."

John finally gave up and put his arm awkwardly around her shoulder. "You are."

"No." Elizabeth turned her head too quickly and felt her stomach flip. "I'm not."

"You're the leader of the first human settlement in another galaxy." John waved his hand around the gate room. "And I'm told it's a very impressive settlement. Especially when we have lights."

"But I'm not extraordinary." Elizabeth insisted as she momentarily forgot to be nauseous. "I'm the one the IOA picked because Kinsey wanted Hammond out. I'm not a genius like Rodney. I can't sense the Wraith coming. I can use my computer to read reports and play solitaire, not save the day."

"You're not even a freak who has a ten thousand year old gene that lets him fly antiquated spacecraft." John's exaggeration made her smile slightly.

She tried to shake off her dark mood. "You fly them pretty well."

"You understand people pretty well." John offered firmly. "You've managed to talk to the Genii without wanting to kill them." He looked so serious that Elizabeth managed to smile. "You sat across from a Wraith queen and didn't even blink." He paused, saving his favorite part for last. "Oh and something you said to the bureaucrats must have been damn convincing to make someone like me to Colonel."

Elizabeth shook her head and relaxed enough to rest her head on his shoulder. "It's been a few days since you mentioned that, Colonel."

"I like to spread it out a bit. So it's a surprise when I say it." He wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want to discuss them kissing, but she was perfectly content to rest against his shoulder. He enjoyed the weight and the smell of her hair. Even unshowered, exhausted and tired, she was beautiful. Staying here, with her eyes half-closed and the hint of a smile on her face, was better than anything he could currently remember. "Well, when you feel up to it, we should get back to work."

Elizabeth nodded and paused a moment before she tried to stand up. "I'm a little better."

John pulled her to her feet and his traitorous mind contemplated kissing her again. She was so close that he could have counted her eyelashes. "Might as well get our work done while we can."

"That's the spirit." John settled down to the floor and ripped up a second tile. Waiting to speak until she finished tying back her hair in a knot, he met her gaze with one of his gentler smiles. Something in his brilliant green eyes had gone soft. "You should know," he paused slightly. "Anyone who wouldn't travel across galaxies for you doesn't deserve you."

Feeling her blush spread scarlet across her face, Elizabeth stared down at the conduit and forgot how to use her hands. It was some time until she remembered anything at all.

"Again!" He snapped sharply from the void behind her head. Elizabeth tried not to flinch as his boots thumped behind her. John's voice cut across the firing range as if it was a shot itself. The pistol bucked in her hands and she fired five times into the paper target.

"Again."

Five more shots and her hands started to sting from the recoil. He walked behind them stiffly, watching the targets as intently as he watched their positions. He nudged Elizabeth's elbow, forcing it into a better position. "Carson, lift your right arm." John paused for a moment, waiting for the correction before he walked over and moved the other man the way he wanted. "Again."

Five more shots and her eyes were starting to hurt. The black and white of the target melted together in her vision. John's voice rang through her head over the echoes of the shots.

"Again," he paused. "Reload and fire." The rhythm faded to somewhere inside of her becoming part of her heartbeat. Wait, fire, reload and fire. It went on until her fingers cramped around the grip.

"All right, put 'em down."

Carson thudded down to the deck. "My hands aren't ready for this. Bloody thing's worse than trying to repair an intestine."

Rodney wandered up to his target and ripped it down. With the power out, the target range had to be run entirely by hand. "I think I'm getting better. Check it out, there's at least five or six in the center ring." Grinning cheerfully, he started towards the cafeteria. "Yep, definitely starting to get better."

"Tomorrow after dinner the Sheppard school moves on to ARGs." John promised them cheerfully as he let go of his drill sergeant manner. Visibly starting to relax, he grabbed Carson's gun from the floor and pulled him to his feet. "Of course that's only after we all complete another round of fix the city."

"I think I want to try a new game," Carson commented and sighed softly as he followed John towards the door. "Me hands are tired. It's like the first time we got Nintendo. Me brothers and I played for two days straight. I thought I'd have to pry me hands off of the controller."

Elizabeth smiled through her exhaustion at her team.

Rodney had a brilliant grin for her in response, holding his target like a prized Ancient artifact. "Want to bet me who'll be best tomorrow?"

"I'll bet you first choice of the power bars." Elizabeth replied with as she tried to hang onto her smile.

John waited for her, following so he was last out of the room. "How's your leg?"

"Numb," Elizabeth answered softly, smiling through an errant curl of hair that refused to stay behind her ear. "It's kind of nice."

"Wanna go for a walk?" He blushed slightly, something she could barely see in the dark hallway. "A short one, considering your situation."

"A short walk," she repeated as she stopped for a moment. "Might end up being very short."

"It'll be fun?" He offered raising his eyebrows slightly, as if he was testing his own idea.

Elizabeth wrapped her arm around his, letting him lead down the hallway. She was so tired her whole body felt as numb as her leg. "Fun." Elizabeth checked the safety and dropped her pistol on the table with the rest. "You might need to define that for me."

"It's a tough word. New concept really." John set the pistols he carried down on the table. He turned over his shoulder to Rodney. "If you clean these, I'll take your turn at dishes."

Rodney jumped to the table of weapons. "Don't have to tell me twice."

Elizabeth couldn't help smiling. Rodney's glee at escaping his least favorite chore was infectious. "You don't mind?"

Shrugging as he extended his arm to her, John shook his head, "Nah. Dishes are easy and it's nice not to have to think for awhile."

"Like solitaire." Elizabeth sighed and remembered sitting in her office when Atlantis was a living city. "Something you can do when your mind needs a break."

"Exactly." John helped her up the steps in the main towers. "Come on, I want you to see this."

Biting her lip covered her wince. "How many stairs?"

"Not many." John gave her both of his hands. "Trust me."

She stopped on the landing, still holding his hands. Her heart was racing too quickly in her chest. "I've always trusted you John." Elizabeth grabbed the railing and continued up without him.

John watched her back as she headed up, noting how her limp returned when she was tired. "Is that why you told me..." His hand closed over hers on the railing, and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. "...about Simon?"

"I-" Elizabeth started, but couldn't turn around. She wasn't sure if she'd finish if she had to look at him. "I owed you."

"You owed me?" He followed her up, staying just one step behind her. "Why would you-"

"I should have told you." Elizabeth closed her eyes and turned around. "I trust you with my life. I lay it in your hands without the slightest hesitation. I should have been able to confide in you."

"I didn't send a message because I couldn't think of anything to say." John offered in trade. "When everyone sent messages home, I didn't send one because I didn't know what to say."

"To your parents?" Elizabeth sank to the landing, giving up on her legs when both of them refused to respond.

John sank next to her, letting his hands fall into his lap. "My dad's all I have left. We've just never been close. I sent him a letter when I got promoted. He likes to hear the good things."

"Did he write back?" Elizabeth twitched her fingers, noticing the red skin that was waiting to become a callus.

"He doesn't really do that." John shrugged and ran a hand nervously through his hair. "Maybe if I make general."

Elizabeth reached for his hand and took it. "I'll see what I can do."

He turned his head, meeting her eyes directly. "You keep doing that."

"What?" Her grip tightened instinctually.

"Making me feel better." John got to his feet, dragging her up with him. "I want you to see this. I'll carry you back down if I have too, but I think this is worth seeing."

Sighing theatrically, Elizabeth let him take her further up the stairs. "You might just have to."

"Still tired?" John's hand sent warmth through her arm. Warmth her body was too tired to produce on its own.

"I must have picked up something on Earth." Sweat broke on her forehead, dampening her hair as it faded. "A flu bug or something."

"Just tell your virus it's not welcome in the Pegasus Galaxy." John finally stopped in front of a doorway and fiddled with the crystals until it opened.

The upper observation deck was something she'd seen before, when it was above the water it had been beautiful. Now it was astonishing. Water was all around her, as if she'd stepped into the ocean itself. Without John's flashlight the only light was the thin blue that poured through the water. Far above the surface gleamed silver in the darkness.

"Worth it?" John whispered behind her head.

Startled out of the water, Elizabeth nodded dumbly. "Yes." Her voice did work after all, for a while she'd doubted she even remembered how to speak.

His thumbs found the top of her neck, running gently over the tense muscles he found there. A shiver ran all the way down her neck. She turned around faster than she thought she could still move. He caught her, pulling her closer. Elizabeth's head ended up on his chest, tucked beneath his chin. She sighed heavily, relaxing into his scent. So rarely did she ever let go, that she barely understood what she felt.

John moved his head back and forth, feeling her hair move in waves under his chin. "Tired?"

"Too tired." Elizabeth closed her eyes again, pretending she could hear the ocean. "I just can't get myself going."

"You'll bounce back." He ran his hand up her back, warming her shoulder. "You've always been springy."

"Springy." Elizabeth laughed, nearly pulling out of his arms as she doubled up. "I like that."

"You're positive. Sometimes I think you're crazy, but you're positive." John released her, letting her lean against the railing until the giggling stopped.

She should have been able to control herself, but something kept setting her off. "Springy. Like a tree?"

"Like a little tree." John corrected with a grin. "A baby one."

She only laughed harder, gasping for air between fits. Sinking to the floor, her head dropped to her hands. Her eyes started to tear up and John dropped to his knees next to her, his amusement turning to concern. "A baby tree. I'm sorry-" Elizabeth covered her mouth and wiped tears from her eyes. "I think that's-"

"The stupidest compliment you've ever gotten." Sulking slightly, John leaned back and stared up at the surface.

"Certainly the most original." She took a slow breath, trying to contain her laughter. Elizabeth was so tired that even John's pout was amusing. "Thank you." She quieted her giggles, thinning her lips into a fine line. "I appreciate it."

"I work hard to impress you." John teased as seriously as he could. "Stay awake at night, trying to find a way to beat you in a verbal sparring match."

With the railing she managed to regain her feet, smirking so strongly that her lips stung. "You're going to have to sleep less."

John stopped her at the head of the stairs, cupping the back of her head with his hand. "As you wish." His pout gave way to that cryptic smile, as if he had turned the tables on her without Elizabeth even seeing it coming.

---

"Now, the shortest straw gets dishes. We've gotten behind over the last couple days so one of you better pull it." Rodney set up the straws in his hand and held them out to "Longest straw gets to make dinner then?"

Ronan grabbed one and waited patiently with it out in front of him. Carson demurred, "Ladies first."

Teyla's was about the same size as Ronan's. She held it alongside his and smiled cheerfully. "It looks like dishes will not be my chore tonight."

"I'm going fishing." Ronon crossed his arms across his chest, already content that he'd won.

Elizabeth's straw was woefully shorter than Teyla's and going by the gleeful look on Rodney's face, it was the shortest. Carson and John picked next. Carson's was definitely the longest but he didn't seem overly bothered.

Rodney nearly skipped away with glee. "I'm sorry," he offered weakly. "It's just that I hate dishes with an abiding passion."

Elizabeth sighed slightly, more exhausted than frustrated with her task. She disappeared into the back room without complaint. Teyla and Ronon wandered off to see if there were any fish in the ocean that could be coaxed up with a long line.

John held up his straw next to Carson's and shrugged. "Feel like trading? I'm in a camp stove mood."

Carson took with a wink. "I'll bet that's what you're really after."

"I just happen to like cooking." John made a face when Carson smacked his shoulder. "All right, all right!"

"She feeling any better?" Carson wondered politely. "She always tells me she's fine, but she's looking a little peaked." He leaned in closer to John conspiratorially. "Her red blood cell count's going to be a bit slow coming back up after an injury like that, but Elizabeth's just not getting better as quickly as I'd like to see."

"I'll be-" John stopped, furrowing his brow a little.

"Sensitive," Carson finished for him and patted him on the back. "That's a good lad."

John waved absently and grabbed the cook stove. He could just as easily make dinner in the back room, where he could be sensitive at the same time.

Elizabeth stood over the sink with the lantern balanced on the counter next to her. The sink was full of water, but her hands were resting on the edge. She wasn't moving. He snuck up on her and put a hand on her back. "How's it going?"

She whirled around, startled out of her thoughts. Elizabeth's hands dripped dishwater on his chest. "You-"

"I'm a sneak." He dropped his hands to her shoulders and looked over the sink of dishes. "You're not getting very far."

"I know." Elizabeth shook her head and let his hands steady her shoulders. "I guess I'm just tired."

"We've been working eighteen hour days trying to fix the city." John rubbed his hands down her arms, taking half a step closer. "We're all tired."

"You're not spacing out over the sink." She let him wrap his arms around her waist. "What are we doing?"

"Standing in the kitchen." John's chin found its way to her shoulder. "Not doing any dishes."

"I meant us." The smell of the dish soap turned her stomach. "What are you and I?"

"Unlucky." John teased as he contemplated her ear. He could nibble it all the way across to her neck.

Elizabeth dried her hands on her pants and tried to ignore the smell of the soap. "You traded for this."

"Right." John's fingers intertwined around her waist, settling there permanently. The pressure almost helped her stomach. "You're unlucky and I'm a sucker."

"Better." Closing her eyes for a moment felt lovely, they'd been open so long the itch behind them had turned into a full blown headache.

Settling deeper into her shoulder, John turned his thoughts to food. "What do you want for dinner?"

Shaking herself out of being comfortable, Elizabeth returned to the dishes with gusto. "I don't think I'll eat."

He let her work and started looking through what he had to work with. "Stomach messed up again?" John didn't need to ask. He'd watched her hide half of her uneaten power bar that morning, and sat next to her when she picked at lunch. Whatever was bothering her was still a problem.

"It comes and goes." Elizabeth offered pathetically as she turned away from what seemed like an overpowering smell of soap and the remnants of Tava bean stew. She covered her face suddenly, muffling her as she breathed through her mouth.

John stopped fiddling with the flame on the cook stove. "Something the matter?"

Elizabeth crossed the kitchen and stopped by the empty cabinets. "I just can't handle the smell."

Curiously checking the sink, John had to admit that he didn't smell anything. "What smell?"

"Lemon and leftover MREs." Crossing her arms across her chest defensively, Elizabeth tried to describe it better. "Something rotting?"

"It's just soap." John dug around for a while, soaking his hands up to the wrists. He collected a pile of bubbles and blew them towards the empty half of the kitchen. "Seems all right to me."

"I'm going crazy." Elizabeth sighed as she pulled herself up to sit on the counter. Her hand returned to her nose, but her eyes carried her apology. "I really am. I can't do dishes because the smell of them makes me nauseated? What is that?"

"I'm sure it's nothing. I've probably just ruined my sense of smell by being in the military." John dug around in the bubbles until he found a sponge. "I'll wash, you can finish putting packets of spaghetti into my boiling water."

"Have I mentioned I miss our cooks?" Her feet thumped lightly on the floor. She barely limped at all now, and Carson was nearly ready to remove her stitches. "Especially the younger one, who's English wasn't that-"

"Englishy." John stacked soapy dishes in the sink of his right, waiting until he had enough to rinse. "Made a good goulash."

Six packets of powdered sauce and dry noodles dropped neatly in the boiling water as she stirred. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit there's such a thing as a good goulash."

"Maybe next week when we've eaten most of the good MREs." John ran his rinse water and turned to watch her stirring. "Better?"

"Yes." Elizabeth's smile was genuine. "I told you. It comes and goes. Sometimes I think I'm going to throw up, but sometimes I feel completely normal."

"Weird." John tightened his eyebrows, wondering if he'd failed entirely at being sensitive. "Ever had it before?"

"No." Elizabeth set her spoon down for a moment and thought harder. "I got food poisoning once in the edge of the Congo, but that was much more intense."

"Instead of wanting to throw up, or even getting to think you wanted to throw up, you just threw up." John turned back to his dishes. "A lot. Saw it every once in awhile, especially when I got stationed somewhere more exotic."

Taking his tactic and sneaking up behind him, Elizabeth made him jump when she touched his shoulders. "I remember thinking afterwards that it was the worst I'd ever felt." She grinned and winked. "Now we're even." Leaving the memory of her smile to tease him, she returned to check on dinner. "Of course I was wrong."

John finished a precarious stack of clean metal dishes with pride. "Oh?"

"Letting Carson dig metal out of my leg trumped it." Elizabeth glanced down at the ruin of her pant leg.

"You're not limping much anymore." John pointed out as he turned proudly from the empty sink.

"It doesn't hurt like it did." Giving John a look as he stuck a spoon into pot of spaghetti to taste it, Elizabeth shook her head slowly. "Don't get me wrong, Carson did a good job. Doesn't even look like it's going to scar."

John examined the line of stitches on her leg as he licked the spoon clean. "It won't, not too badly anyway. Looks good enough to start hand to hand tomorrow."

"More teachings from the Sheppard school of commando tactics?" Elizabeth shut off the stove and waited for him.

"I'm thinking of calling it the Sheppard School of kicking Replicator ass." John snuck his hand around and into hers. "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

---

Her sleeping bag rustled at his side. They'd started out nearly a meter apart when he'd first set out the sleeping bags. Night by night they'd gotten closer and closer together. Now when Elizabeth moved in the dark, he felt it. He felt her stirring stop when she fell asleep. Today he'd awakened with her head on his chest. John's hand slipped into her hair. McKay had started giving both of them odd looks whenever they were together.

Carson kept coming up with reasons for them to be together. He always chose Rodney as his sparring partner. They'd had two weeks of this. Sleeping in a group on the floor of the cafeteria, crawling across the floor from breakfast until just before dinner. Sheppard's school of Replicator ass-kicking had advanced to hand to hand and strike team tactics, but they were all tired.

Rodney's insistence on an early start became less enthusiastic every morning. Carson was getting grumpy. A lucky blow of his during a sparring match had left a deep black bruise on Rodney's cheek. Teyla had gotten tired and quiet. She was still the first one up every morning, but she'd started brewing her tea stronger each time. Elizabeth seemed to function on some kind of autopilot. She was paler every morning and the skin of her face had gotten tight over her cheekbones.

John brought his other hand up to her shoulder, holding her closer. He still had a few minutes before Teyla came to shake him awake. It was these moments he savored, the quiet when all he had to think about was the weight of her on his chest. He wasn't tired when she touched him. He could always find a way to smile when she looked at him. It was weird. With Elizabeth curled up alongside of him, the floor didn't feel hard.

Teyla's footsteps moved softly through their camp. He'd squandered his time before daybreak. John shook Elizabeth gently, trying to rouse her as sensitively as he could. She moaned and clung tighter to him. "Come on Elizabeth, time to drink tea and pretend its coffee."

Shaking herself awake, Elizabeth nodded and retreated back to her own sleeping bag. "In a second."

Rodney was already taking his breakfast and retreating to the lab. He waved to John curtly with a hand full of a power bar. "Morning."

Carson yawned his way through his greeting. His beard just made him look scruffier in the weak light of their lantern. "See you for lunch." Though they all returned at the end of the day, everyone was so strained that avoidance had become part of their standard behavior.

Ronan departed as well, raising his eyebrows at John in the way that made him feel like he'd been caught in the cookie jar. "Later."

"I will see you at lunch?" Teyla wondered gently as she poured John the darkest cup of tea he'd ever had.

"We'll see you." John promised as he gulped down his tea and poured himself another cup. Teyla's hunting tea was usually weak, pleasantly earthly and a poor substitute for coffee. When over-brewed it was bitter, caustic and a poor substitute for bad coffee. He dipped one of the precious chocolate peanut butter power bars into the brackish tea and tried to decide if it helped the taste of his tea, or ruined his power bar.

Elizabeth kept her eyes shut, hoping if she just didn't move, her stomach would calm itself down. Instead of quieting, it leapt into her throat. Her feet brought her to the kitchen. Her chest clamped down tight and she lost control. Her stomach finally followed through on its threat of revolt.

Stomach fluid spilled from her mouth, burning the back of her throat. Her eyes teared up as she gasped for air. Her stomach convulsed again, tightening all the muscles in her back. Clinging to the stone rim of the sink, her palms were instantly slick with sweat. Her tongue felt swollen and fuzzy in her mouth. Acrid and slickly sweet, the smell cut through the air in the kitchen. Fighting to catch her breath, Elizabeth hit clumsily at the faucet until the water came on. Watching it wash away the mess worked for a moment, but then her stomach rebelled again.

She had little to throw up the second time. It didn't stop her from losing the ability to breath for a few seconds. Her hair tumbled out from behind her ears, falling across her face. She cupped her hands to drink, wetting her hair as she rinsed out her mouth. Spitting the water out and drinking again, Elizabeth tried to get the horrible taste out of her mouth.

"Here." John tucked a cup into her hands. "Easier." His hands stayed with her, steadying her grip as she filled the cup. He guided the half-full cup to her mouth and let her drink it. "Spit it out again," he suggested as he filled the cup a second time. Letting her swallow a few sips, he dried his hands on his shirt and put a one hand on her forehead and the other on the back of her neck.

"What are you doing?" Elizabeth wondered as she left the cup in the sink.

"No fever." John offered simply as he led her over to the counter. Lifting her up and sliding her back, he smiled comfortingly. "Thought you were getting better."

Elizabeth tried to come up with something to say. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and leaned back against the wall. "I was."

"I know you want to be." John pulled himself up on the counter next to her. "I know the last thing you want to do right now is be weak. Be sick, let us down." Folding her hands tightly in her lap, she tried to warm them by forcing them between her thighs. Without saying anything he reached across and took her hands. Even damp, his were warmer and heat bled into her chill fingers.

"I'm not sick." She insisted feebly. Even with her stomach empty, nausea still threatened her control. Elizabeth took her hands back, crossing her arms across her chest instead.

"Okay." John remained maddeningly calm. He looked over at the sink and back to her. "Then why are you throwing up?"

"Oh I don't know." Elizabeth offered with more venom than she intended. "For two weeks I've had little sleep and nothing to eat, but power bars. And it seems so damn easy for the rest of you." Hopping off the counter, she started to pace angrily. "Teyla and Ronan are used to living in the woods and eating whatever they find. God, Rodney even likes MREs."

"We're all stressed." John smoothed over gently. He studying his fingernails and waited for her to tire herself out. "Carson's getting better at fighting because it's a good outlet for his aggression. Teyla makes her tea stronger every morning. Ronan spends his free time fishing in an ocean that can't possibly have anything we could catch. Rodney's just busy. If he ever gets unbusy he'll be miserable."

Her rage started to fade, reminding her that more than anything, she was tired. John swung his feet back and forth lazily. "We're almost done with the gate. We'll all feel better when we're not trapped here anymore. You gotta admit you miss the sky."

Elizabeth could not be comforted. Exhaustion ruled her mind and ran through her body in waves. "How do you keep yourself going? How can you sit there and act like everything's going to be all right." She narrowed her eyebrows and advanced on him. "We were lucky no one was seriously hurt when we took the city. How many surgeries can Carson perform without anesthetic?" Kneeling down, she angrily ripped the gauze from her leg, exposing the line of bright green stitches in her pink skin. "How much damage can the six of us really do against a whole city of Replicators that understand Ancient technology enough to actually build ZPMs?"

"Aren't we just deluding ourselves?" Elizabeth balled up the gauze in her hands and threw it onto the floor. "Convincing ourselves that somehow any feeble response we can come up with will make a difference?"

John finally slid off the counter. When his feet hit the floor, he came up swinging. "Where the hell is this coming from?"

"What?" Shocked away from her fears, she recoiled slightly.

"What happened to you never saying die? Never giving up? Always being the one-" John tried to speak, but she cut him off.

"Maybe I can't-" Elizabeth snapped over him and he caught her hand, pushing her back towards the sink. "You can't expect me to have a bottomless reserve-"

John held her hand in an iron grip. "Who never, ever let me give up." He flattened her between him and the sink, feeling her breasts give in and he pressed against her chest. His free hand cupped her chin, searching for the strength he knew had to be in there.

"What do you want from me?" Her voice cracked, running out of anger and faltering. John's green eyes froze her heart in her throat.

"You asked-" His fingers loosened, no longer threatening the circulation in her arm. "You asked me what kept me going."

Elizabeth shivered under his gaze, feeling her anger melt into shame. Her stomach knotted again. "John, don't."

"You." His hand dropped from her arm, but when she tried to turn her gaze, both hands caught her chin. "I know you never give up. You always manage to smile. No matter what happens, being with you, Elizabeth," he told her as his voice softened to a whisper as exhaustion settled into his shoulders. "Is enough for me." John held her a moment longer. Keeping close enough that she could see the pulse of life in his neck and feel his breath as he sighed in defeat.

"Maybe we should work separately today." John's hands dropped away like stones and he turned his back. Without looking over his shoulder, he paused, "I hope you're feeling better."

Elizabeth sank to the floor, completely deflated by her failure. Her stomach knotted with guilt, twisting together with the remnants of nausea. She'd done it now, pushed him past his breaking point and left him as desolated as she was. The floor was cold and her back tightened against the metal behind her. Her chest was so tight it seemed like breathing would be impossible. Stinging behind her eyes burst through her tear ducts. She wasn't going to cry. Crying would waste energy and leave her worse than she was. Her hands were dry and rough as she wiped the tears away. Getting to her feet, she forced her emotion down into her stomach.

There was nothing left to do but work on the city. Making sure they were physically safe would have to come before her heart. If she lived until tomorrow, she might know what to say. Picking up the toolkit brought old complaints from the muscles of her back. Everything hurt but Elizabeth let herself go numb. Her feet mattered until she reached the hole in the floor of the corridor. After that all she needed were her hands. Aching as they repaired a crystal, her fingers moved on to the next.

When her eyes grew tired she worked blind. Feeling the chill of the crystal fade when power returned. Working in her self-induced coma, gave her too much time to think. John wandered into the back of her mind and refused to leave her alone. His eyes went dark and sad, fading like the sea at twilight. His smile failed to stir his lips. She'd done that to him. She'd gutted him.

Debating for only a moment, Elizabeth left her toolkit where it was. Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt her stomach ease as soon as she started to walk. The crystals would have to wait; she had other repairs to make first.

---

"Dammit." Dropping the tiny electric tool, John stuffed his fingers in his mouth. Tasting blood and burned flesh, he grimaced and sat up from his work. "Stupid..." He pulled them out of his mouth and studied the damage. His pointer finger would be fine, but his middle finger had a nasty burn that was already starting to blister. He should have been paying more attention.

He should definitely not be thinking of the way Elizabeth's breasts seemed to have become fuller. Maybe it was the change from red to black, some kind of optical illusion. He couldn't really ask anyone. His fingers were forgotten as his mind wandered down her body. John sighed and tried to force himself back to work. Hurting his hand was a lousy reason to stop, he reminded himself. Checking his finger again to make sure the bleeding had stopped, he stuffed his arms back into the floor.

He hummed to himself as he went, missing the sound of footsteps as she approached. John was repeating the theme to "Monday Night Football" for the fourth time when she touched his shoulder. Jumping out of his hole in the floor, he nearly wrenched his shoulder as he got to his knees.

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth pulled back, losing her resolve as soon as he looked at her. "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay." Her hand was off of her shoulder, but he desperately wanted it back. John got to his feet slowly, waiting for her to make the first move.

Elizabeth sighed heavily, feeling the air pour out of her chest in a flood. "I wanted to apologize. What I said earlier was-"

He quickly waved her quiet. "I said it was okay. You've been sick. You're tired-"

"It's no excuse." Correcting him firmly, Elizabeth took a tiny step towards him.

John shook out his injured fingers, trying to knock the pain out of them. "I don't need you to apologize." One corner of his mouth rose in the ghost of a smile. "I understand."

She caught his wrist, lifting his injured fingers to examine them. "Are you hurt?"

"Just clumsy." John tried to ignore the tingling sensation her fingers sent up his arm. "Messed up and burned myself."

"It's tougher doing this alone." Elizabeth dropped to the floor, finishing his circuit neatly.

"Yeah." John sat down next to her, watching her hair fall elegantly across her cheek as she worked. "It sucks. I-"

Her head shot up, stopping him mid-thought. "You have nothing to apologize for. You've been wonderful. Really wonderful."

"I didn't-" John's protesting came to a halt when she caught his arm.

"You've been patient, caring, and more than understanding. You've taken care of all of us since we arrived." Elizabeth watched as he took her hand. He cradled it, slowly turning her hand until it slipped easily into his own.

"That's my job." Wondering how her fingers could be so delicate, John ran his thumb across the back of her hand.

Spilling light from her eyes, her smile erupted like a sunrise. "You're above and beyond the call of duty."

"Just bucking for another promotion." John teased lightly, feeling his concern disappear into her smile. "General John Sheppard just has a lovely ring to it, don't you think?"

Helping him slide the stone back in place, Elizabeth just sat and stared at him. His lips twitched, as if he had gotten the joke she'd missed. Finally, she had to look away before he overwhelmed her.

John waited, studying the line of her sleeve and remembering the perfect expanse of skin beneath her sleeve. Out of all the confusion of that morning, his glimpse of her naked back had stayed in his memory. "What?"

"I didn't say anything." Elizabeth offered weakly as she felt the stone seep cold through her legs.

John's finger traced the nearly invisible line of the floor tile. "I thought..." he trailed off.

Stubble scratched against her hand when she reached for his face. "John..." She cut off as her voice failed her again. "...I do need to say something."

He stopped drawing circles on the floor. His heart stopped in his chest. His own voice echoed in from kilometers away. "Okay." Looking up was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. Her eyes bored into him, scaring his mind clean of thoughts of her skin as if she'd been reading his mind.

Elizabeth blinked once, struggling against the dryness in her mouth. "I count on you." Pathetically trying to keep her composure, she bit her lip before she admitted, "You make sure everyone comes home. You're the great protector. The one who holds us all together." The hand on his face moved across his cheek. Her eyes were too bright. "I'm always helpless, standing up there in command."

"You're never helpless." John felt her fingers leave a cool trail across his upper lip. Shivering slightly, he turned his head back into her hand.

"I send you." Elizabeth insisted as her hand ran down his neck. Her fingers stopped on the edge of his shirt collar. "You're my champion." John stopped her hand from dropping any farther, catching it like a wandering leaf. "The receiver who always catches that impossible pass."

"See I'm actually a terrible receiver." John felt the blood burning his face. "My hands are really kind of pathetic."

Elizabeth crushed his protests with a kiss. Her tongue invaded his mouth, reminding him that there were some things he couldn't joke his way out of. Her hair tickled his cheek and the hand he held found its way to the back of his neck. It slid down his back, finding the hem and sneaking inside his shirt.

John jumped back, crashing into the wall in his surprise. "We really shouldn't," he pointed out as his heart pounded like a helicopter rotor in his chest.

Getting carefully to her feet, Elizabeth lowered her hand to him. "Let go." Her voice was softer than he was used to. Her eyes were deeper.

He reached up, pushing himself up to meet her. John's knees quivered, reminding him of his first time in a fighter jet. She looked around, searching the hallway for a familiar doorway. Finding her target, Elizabeth pulled him towards the crystals controlling it. Their hands collided as they realigned the center crystal, sending a jolt up her arm.

The door hissed softly, losing its seal. Elizabeth pushed him back against it, surprising him with her ferocity. John held back, trying to ignore her hands in the belt loops of his pants. "Are you sure?" He asked finally, shivering again when she kissed the edge of his jaw.

"I want you." Elizabeth pulled back, studying the conflict in his face. "I can hear a thousand reasons why I shouldn't shouting in my head."

"You're not thinking clearly." John argued, feebly keeping her half an arm's length away. "You..." Elizabeth's smile made it impossible to remember what he was going to say. "...are beautiful." John dropped his hands to his sides, losing his will to fight. He turned them around, opening the door and pushing her into the empty conference room as he left his sense behind him.

He returned her kiss, experimenting with the curves of her lips. Elizabeth giggled slightly as she pulled away. Teasing as she backed up to the table. His hands were on her hips when she slid back onto the table. Fingers found the ribs beneath her skin, running down her spine. She jumped, shivering as he found a sensitive nerve.

John backed away, feeling his heartbeat rush in his chest. "Is this right?"

Elizabeth shook her head, reaching down to unlace her boot. One of them thudded down onto the floor. "Are you always so talkative with women?"

"No," John replied numbly as he watched her remove her second boot and drop it to the floor. "Women don't make me nervous." He should take off his shoes. He knelt, fumbling with the laces. "You make me nervous."

"Me?" She wondered gently, feeling the cold air of the room through her socks. Her voice cut through his unease, lilting through his head. "Come here." Her chin bobbed slightly as she smiled involuntarily.

John stopped in his tracks, feeling more naked under her gaze than he'd been back on Ceol. He left his boots by the door. His feet padded silently across the stone-like floor. "Okay."

"Let's try this from the beginning." Elizabeth suggested as she took a deep breath. Her skin tingled, as if the room was filled with a static charge. One hand caught his arm, gently easing him closer. His lips were cool against her own. Her tongue flicked against his, searching for his permission. John moved his head, tilting for a better angle.

His nose pressed against her cheek as he whispered, "Okay." His hands slipped between her and the table, running around the curve of her hips before they crept upwards.

Delicate fingers dug into his back, dancing up towards his neck. The shivering came again, leaving only curiosity behind. Wrapping his arms around her back made it easier to kiss her. Elizabeth slid forward on the table, running one leg up his thigh.

One of her teeth nicked his lip and her apology came out in a giggle. "Sorry."

He ran his finger over his lip and shrugged. "Didn't think you were the type. I'll try to keep up." He winked and dove into her neck, nibbling up to her ear.

She gasped and pulled him closer. His hands found her skin just beneath her black shirt. The fabric gave, letting him run them up her back. Elizabeth turned her attention to his shirt, and stopped kissing him long enough to yank it over his head. Surprise made him pause, realizing how vulnerable he was. The only sound was their breathing and the occasional whisper of clothing.

John took his time with her shirt, easing it up her stomach as he discovered the skin beneath. As he pulled it up over her bra, the blush crept over her cheeks. "Beautiful," he pronounced with a shy smile. Her breasts swelled within the simple black cotton of her bra. The curved wires sat firmly on her chest. He was so distracted by them that she had to finish taking off her shirt on her own. Elizabeth dropped her arms to her sides waiting for him to look up.

John's tongue licked across his lower lip. "Wow." His hands hovered over his chest.

Her laughter bounced in her chest. "Good wow?" Elizabeth teased as her blush grew on her face.

"The best wow," John admitted as he finally brought his attention back to her face.

"Better than you imagined?" Her arms snuck around his neck, pulling him closer.

Nodding seriously, he ran his fingers up her arms to her shoulders. "Yeah."

Elizabeth kissed a line across his collarbone, giggling as he tried to lift her head to kiss her. "You imagined?"

He crushed her mouth, kissing the giggles out of her. "Well yeah." His eyebrows insisted he was serious. "How could I not?"

Her head pulled back, tossing her hair down her neck. "Should I take it as a compliment?"" Elizabeth's fingers traced the line down his chest towards his stomach and he groaned under his breath.

"Now who's talking?" John undid the top button of her pants and worked his way down the zipper. He deftly slid her pants down to the table, waiting for her to squirm the rest of the way out of them. The hair on his chest tickled her stomach. The table was decidedly cooler when all she had left were her underwear. John tossed her pants and their shirts up on the table behind her. His pants followed as soon as she freed them from his ankles.

He laid her back, taking the time to examine the long lines of her torso. John slipped easily between her legs, letting her knees box him in. He reached underneath her for the claps of her bra and paused. Fully in awe of the women beneath him, he spent a long, glorious moment sweeping the straps of her bra over her shoulders.

He was warm and solid over her, making up for the heat she lost to the chill of the table. Elizabeth's bra slid off the edge of the table and vanished. John's boxer shorts were soft against her inner thighs. Slowly running his fingers around the lower curve of her breasts, he made his way painstakingly to her nipples. Feeling them harden in response to his touch, Elizabeth pulled him tighter, grinding her body against his.

Cool fingers slipped inside the elastic of his boxers and sent them away. His right hand cupped her butt, pulling her panties down to her thighs. A finger danced along the burning skin of her legs before banishing her panties to the forgotten floor. The muscles of his arms hardened as he moved above her. Desperation rushed through them and demanded more oxygen. Sweat broke on his hairline. The table was finally warm under her back. Tilting back her legs let him into her body.

John's head swam, only her mouth against his drew him back to her and the table beneath his hands. He fought his own desires, reminding himself that patience was the better part. Aching for more speed, his body screamed back as he moved slowly within her. Elizabeth's eyes were locked on his, her fingers digging into the skin of his back stung when her nails turned on him. Her breasts rubbed against his chest, teasing him with the glory of her. His butt was firm and smooth beneath her calf when she moved her leg up over his back.

Her chest shuddered in his arms and Elizabeth's eyes grew wet with tears. The teeth biting her lip turned it as white as her smile. He gave her his hand, bending hers back to the table. He nearly crushed her when his body spasmed in release. Gasping as his senses slowly brought him back to his body; John kept her in his arms. Elizabeth wiped tears from her eyes with trembling fingers. Kissing his cheek gently, still unable to speak, she smiled. Closing her eyes so the lashes picked up the last of the dampness, she sighed languidly.

John rolled back to the table, letting it seep the extra heat of his body. Her hand was still in the hair on the back of his neck when she rolled to lie on his chest. Any hesitation left within him died in her eyes. Quiet contentment radiated from her face, suffusing him with new warmth. Lifting his head enough to kiss her again John let himself relax.

"Wow."

Many thanks again to Shannon. Who deserves cookies for putting up with 17 pages chapters..

"Area 51’s been trying to recreate the ARG on a planetary scale for years now," Rodney explained. Pacing the dark cafeteria on the edge of the pool of light from the lantern, his hands moved as fast as his thoughts, making his audience rather dizzy. "They haven't made much progress, because the delivery system's been, frankly, out of our league."

Over in the semi-circle of bodies, John wasn't paying any real attention. Instead, as he sat between Elizabeth and Teyla, he focused his thoughts on the small, cool fingers intertwined with his own. Hand-holding seemed like an elementary stage of courtship, something he should have left behind in school years ago; with Elizabeth he'd rediscovered it.

She was obviously paying more attention. "But you think you can come up with something?" Elizabeth prodded. Gently letting Rodney lead up to his brilliant idea without giving away any of the impatience she felt, she waited quietly.

"We use the jumpers as a relay," Rodney began, his eyes glinting with excitement as he started pacing again over the cafeteria floor. "We'll need four of them, stationed equally around the planet." He formed a pyramid with his fingers in front of his chest. "All four of them activate at the same time, firing at a point in the center of the planet. Now, with any luck, the crystals buried inside the planet's structure will amplify and eventually project the energy burst that kills the Replicators."

John looked around the semicircle, resting his eyes on each on of the team. "Great," he offered grimly, weakly concealing his disappointment. "We only have three pilots."

Rodney's face fell. "I thought of that," he replied as his shoulders slumped. Pinching his fingers together as if he held the idea between them, he sighed. "We could try it with three, but it's impossible to get a three-dimensional blast without a fourth jumper." Shaking his head, he fell silent for a moment. "We should probably just concentrate on getting the gate fixed. Call Earth, and see if they can help us. I might also be able to rig something with a beam weapon from an Ancient defense satellite, but it would be messy."

"What about the chair?" Elizabeth wondered suddenly. Her eyebrows narrowed as she formulated her idea. "We tried to remote control the jumpers with the chair before, and that didn't work because..."

"...Because we didn't have enough power, right, but now we do," Rodney cut her off quickly. His eyes widened thoughtfully as he puzzled it over in his head. "With a ZPM it should be easy..." he interrupted himself with a chuckle, "...Easy for me anyway." Collecting his thoughts, Rodney bent down for his toolbox and a flashlight. "I'm going to go..." he pointed down the hallway, "...work on this for awhile. See if I can get power to the chair, etcetera. You can just radio if you need me."

Nodding easily, Elizabeth wished him well before she started to yawn into her hand, "Sorry."

Only John caught her apology, "It's okay. He has that effect on me to sometimes." One of his hands snuck up behind her head, playing with a free curl of hair.

Ronan shrugged and lay back on the floor, hands neatly behind his head. "Any plan that kills the Replicators is a good plan," he mused as he shut his eyes.

Teyla sighed as she straightened their merger pile of rations. "I think it is good that we will have the gate working soon. There is not much left to eat."

"I'd settle for anything that didn't start out in a bag," Carson piped up as he settled in next to Ronan on the floor. "And a room of me own," he added as he rustled his sleeping bag. "Not that I mind yer company, but I do miss being able to be by meself."

John released his lock of Elizabeth's hair and slid his hand down to her lower back. "If we get the gate done early I can try to wire a few rooms," he offered lightly. "We might have to put up with roommates until we get more lights working. These lantern batteries are on their last legs."

"We lost another flashlight as well," Teyla added calmly as she waited for everyone to settle into their sleeping bags. "That leaves us with two."

Carson rolled over in his sleeping bag and sighed up towards the ceiling. "Is it just me or has it been getting colder in here?" he wondered to no one in particular.

"We're drifting," Ronan explained simply. "Can't you feel it? Ever since we lost power, we've lost whatever it was that anchored us in place. The currents must move northward here."

Teyla leaned down towards the lantern, shutting it off once she was sure everyone was comfortable. She agreed as she waited for her eyes to adjust, "Ronan is correct. It will only grow colder until we can reinstate the system that held us."

"Did you bring any winter clothes?" Elizabeth teased John as she moved closer to the extra warmth he provided.

One of his arms slipped over her sleeping bag, pulling her in so she spooned against him. "Didn't think of it," John responded with his voice just above a whisper.

Elizabeth's desires won out against her sense of decorum, and she hugged his arm to her stomach. "Too bad," she whispered back.

Sighing sleepily, John echoed her yawn. "Next time, when I have a little more time to pack…"

Wrapping the fingers of his hand with her own, Elizabeth sighed, "I might hold you to that."

~*~*~*~


Morning broke blue under the ocean. The five of them rose as a unit, eating and drinking their breakfast with little conversation. Rodney had worked through the night, and Teyla filled an entire canteen of tea to take to him. Ronan elected to help Rodney, promising he could keep him on task.

John headed for the last stretch between the gate and the power room. His feet dragged along the red-brown corridor. Fifteen days had left him with nearly a full beard. Scratching it as he walked, he tried to remember a time when he'd felt clean. His memory reminded him that he'd been through worse in Afghanistan. Clinging to the memories of hot, blowing grit for days on end made crawling around on the floor in Atlantis nearly pleasant by comparison.

Time faded past him, and the sea grew brighter as the day crept on. John was stretching his hands and staring out the blue window when his radio crackled to life.

"Are you finished?" Rodney demanded from the power room.

John tapped his radio, "Yeah, just waiting for you Rodney."

"Funny," Rodney shot back. "I'm going to try powering it up. Back up from the conduit and wait for my signal."

"Yes, Sir," John quipped back smartly. Sealing the floor tile he'd been working on, he left the hallway behind and headed down to the control room.

She was waiting there, perched on the edge of the stairs down to the gate. Elizabeth smiled at him and the grin crept up to her eyes. "I keep forgetting you have the beard," she teased as she scratched his chin. "Gets me every time I see it."

"I only have it to amuse you," John replied dryly as he sank down next to her. "I have a razor stashed away, but I just don't use it." He stared across at the blue-tinted windows of the Gate room. "Ready to go back to Earth?"

Sighing heavily, Elizabeth hugged her knees to her chest, "No." She ran her hand through her hair and curled tighter. "This is my home. Even when I can't take a hot shower, this city is part of me."

"Would you mind explaining to it that we would like to have all the systems back?" John teased as he stared at the darkened Stargate. "Nothing major, maybe just a nudge in the right direction."

Elizabeth chuckled softly, the low sound in the back of her throat made him smile. "I'll see what I can do," she promised as she followed his gaze.

They were rewarded with Rodney's voice on the radio instead of the familiar dialing of the gate. "I found a problem," he announced grimly. "I'm postponing the gate test and I need everyone down here."

Elizabeth got slowly to her feet, sighing as she worked the stiffness out of her back. "Want to bet what it is?" she offered along with her hand to help him to his feet.

John lowered an eyebrow and shuffled to his feet warily. "What do you want to bet?" he wondered as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Power bars?"

Laughing weakly, Elizabeth shook her head as she tried to think. Pondering for a moment, she leaned in to quickly kiss his cheek. "There," she teased, grinning wickedly.

"What kind of bet is that?" John asked in surprise, tilting his head quizzically.

"It's an ante," she explained lightly as she started down the hallway. "If you win, you get the rest of the bet." Elizabeth's dark brown curls bounced on her shoulders as she turned away.

"Okay..." John's voice trailed off as he followed her down the hallway. Licking his lips nervously, he caught up to her in a few long strides. "What happens if I lose?"

Her feet rang on the metal grating as she started down the staircase. Elizabeth paused, resting her hand on the cold railing as she beamed up at him. "I suppose you'll have to come up with something to offer," she answered.

Hurrying down the stairs after her, John caught her on the landing. Wrapping an arm firmly around her waist, he studied the familiar line of her neck and planted his lips there on the smooth white skin. "I guess I can come up with something," he teased back as he released her to lead the way to the power room.

The hallways in the bowels of the city were deep enough that the ocean outside the few, small windows was an inky blue. Neither of them toyed with being ahead of each other in the darkness. Elizabeth's hand found his and he took it, pushing the nervousness to the back of his mind.

"Should we be talking?" John ventured, as the hallway grew too long and silent.

Elizabeth kept her eyes straight ahead. "What do you want to talk about?" she baited, waiting for his response with her teeth against her lip.

"Sex?" John's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he realized he'd actually said it out loud. He stopped, turning his blushing face down towards his boots. "I meant to say something..." he broke off and wondered if his face could get any redder, "...sauve-er."

Elizabeth chuckled softly into her hand, stopping immediately when John looked up at her. "I like that you're not," she admitted calmly. Shrugging as she resisted the way his eyes begged her to clarify her answer, she watched the blood retreat back beneath his skin. "You're honest."

"I've been accused of that," John agreed with a nod of his head. "It's not usually something that comes with a smile."

His wariness made his lips curl. Elizabeth had to let her memory fill in some of the details in the darkness. She stopped walking, feeling him halt next to her. "I don't want it to be a problem," she began slowly, taking her time to form all the words. "I'm not your leader right now..."

"...but you would be if it wasn't for the Lantians," John finished for her. He twitched his hands in his pockets and searched her face. Elizabeth was more complicated than all the Tolstoy he’d been dragging himself through, he thought to himself. "And that's a problem," he finished as his stomach went cold.

"No!" It was Elizabeth's turn to lose control of her voice. "It's not," she faltered, wishing she could find a way to keep the butterflies quiet inside of her. "I'm not sorry I was with you," she finished, finally finding her strength. "I have a handful of terrible regrets in my life, but you, John..." she cupped his chin, feeling his beard crunch beneath her hand. "...will never be one of them."

Lost in thought for a moment, John pulled her hand down from his face and left it on his chest. " 'The vocation of every man and woman is to serve other people'," he quoted, drawing a nod of respect from Elizabeth. "Been reading ahead on Earth a little," he explained as he tried to put together the rest of his thoughts. "Tolstoy doesn't have to be right all the time. He's dead."

The quick smile brightened her eyes and Elizabeth nodded again. "I want you," she offered with more resolve than she thought she had to spare. Her shoulders straightened and she stared unflinchingly up into his eyes. "I'm just never sure if I can let myself have the things I want."

John wanted to look away and take the time to collect his thoughts, but he couldn't; not with her gaze locked on his. Speaking without thinking, he stopped worrying about sounding stupid. "I'm not going anywhere," he offered first. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued, "And I'll wait."

Elizabeth pulled back, recoiling slightly as she tried to force Simon back to his place in her memory.

John kept her hand, following her towards the gray wall of the hallway. "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that I...I'd do anything for you." He caught her fear fading into a smile and kicked his toe against the floor. "That sounds really stupid when I say it, doesn't it?"

Elizabeth hushed him with a look, "I believe you," she said to rescue him. "John, you have to understand, I have nothing but faith in you. In your sense of honor, your dedication to your duty, in your heart..." She pulled her hand back, nervously wringing her fingers. "I trust you."

"Least one of us does," he muttered as he watched her fingers twist. "Look, forget about Earth, the SGC, and the morons over at the IOA and anything else with an acronym. We might never go back. We might have fried the crystal thingy and be trapped in Pegasus forever. We might die tomorrow." He paused his torrent of words and found the ones he really wanted. "If it was just you and me," John paused, licking dry lips with a nearly dry tongue, "then what?"

Elizabeth blinked once, slowly opening her eyes again. "I'd fall," her whisper hung in the corridor, drifting with the ocean around them. "I'd lose myself. Fall headlong and hopelessly..." Her lips finished her thought without any sound; mouthing the dangerous words instead of saying them aloud.

"You're serious?" John demanded, as he made her silence into meaning. "You really?"

"All my cards are down John," she paused, trying to remember anything she knew about football. "Fourth and goal?" she stopped again, waiting for him to confirm the metaphor was correct. "Honestly? You and me almost terrifies me more than the Wraith..."

Nodding to acknowledge her attempt to reach into his world, John cut her off. "...I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"You I am completely sure of," Elizabeth promised with as much force as she could muster.

Her eyes glistened wet as he watched her. "What about...?"

Elizabeth interrupted his thought, "Me?" Shaking her head and wrapping her arms around her chest for warmth, she sighed heavily. "Let's just say it's easy to trust you."

"Why?" he choked a back a laugh.

Something serious glimmered in her green eyes before it hid behind a smile. "Why not?" Elizabeth ended cryptically as she leaned up and in to kiss his cheek. The scruff of his beard tickled her lips as she pulled back. "Come on," she reminded him gently. "Rodney and the others have to be waiting for us by now."

~*~*~*~

Elizabeth was entirely correct. Rodney's impatience was immediately apparent in the fluttering of his hands over the console. A lantern balanced on it lit the room oddly, making the walls of silent computers look like blocks of obsidian. Ronan's hair left shadows like thick trees behind his head and John barely resisted the urge to make shadow puppets with his hands.

"Now that you're finally here," Rodney rebuked John and Elizabeth harshly, "I can explain to everyone how truly screwed we are."

Ronan rolled his eyes, but waited silently beside Teyla.

For her part, Teyla was much more considerate. "What have you discovered?" she asked with patient concern.

John pulled himself up on one of the ledges between computer banks and waited. Carson leaned over Rodney's shoulder, trying to peer at the diagrams Rodney was so concerned with.

"I was trying to activate the chair when I realized I could activate other systems, like long-range sensors, by running them through secondary conduits." Rodney continued fiddling with the controls as he explained, "Then I realized we might not have to go all the way to the Replicators home planet to rescue our people. General O'Neill has the ATA gene, so he was easier to track with ancient equipment.

"There-" Rodney activated a display and pointed at a white dot on the slightly garbled screen. "That's General O'Neill's life-sign. I widened the scan, trying to pick up Mr. Woolsey, or any of the Ancients that might still be alive." He tapped his console again and changed the diagram. Lines of noise crawled up and down over the vague outline of a ship, Elizabeth narrowed her eyes and tried to make out more, but all that she saw were two white human life-signs.

"What can we do to help them?" she asked as she tried to push the harsh memory of having her mind invaded back where it belonged. John slipped off his ledge and moved silently into his place behind her.

"I was thinking about that too," Rodney drummed his fingers on the metal as he waited for the computer to respond. "A ship is a lot smaller than a city. As far as I can tell, it's just some kind of battle cruiser."

"Just a battle cruiser?" Teyla interrupted firmly. "Would not any ship of theirs overpower a jumper immediately?"

"Yes yes," Rodney nodded impatiently and twisted a crystal beneath the panel to get it to display his grand scheme. He had to hit it with his knee to get the computer to come online. "In a fair fight we'd get destroyed before we even had time to think about being destroyed, but we're not going to fight fair."

"Okay..." John's shoulder nudged against hers, sending the cascade effect of his touch racing down her spine.

Elizabeth tightened her jaw, reminding herself to keep her mind in the situation. Rodney had a plan, and by the excitement in his eyes, it was a good one. "What are we going to cheat with?" she prompted.

"I can configure two jumpers to envelop the battle cruiser in a parabolic field that should destroy all the Replicators on board." Rodney's glee shone through his self-satisfaction.

John's eyes lit like a flare had been fired in his head. "We get their ship?" he wondered with a bounce in his knees.

"We get their ship," Rodney confirmed dryly. "And unlimited access to their technology provided that their ships are as connected as they seem to be."

"You're sure your para-thing with the jumpers will kill everyone?" Ronan interjected seriously. He turned his knife over in his hand, watching the light reflect off the blade as he flipped it.

Elizabeth buried her desire to smile. John was still nearly bouncing behind her with his desire to get at a battle cruiser. Teyla's expression was contented. It seemed her faith in Rodney's genius was resolute. Carson seemed terrified, either of the Replicators, Rodney's plan or both, she couldn't help being proud of him. However he felt about the plan, the doctor seemed ready to try it.

"Well, either it works and the Replicators are destroyed..." Rodney's expression darkened a little, and he looked down at the floor, "...or it fails and they kill us."

"Business as usual then," John replied for all of them, adding his debonair smile. "Sounds like fun."
~*~*~

"I'm going to finish connecting Rodney's device to the drive manifold, meet you in the next jumper?" John's head emerged from the panel in the ceiling of the jumper long enough for him to sneeze. Wiping his nose on the back of his hand, he came down a step on the ladder. "Ten thousand year old dust really gets to me."

"I could do it," Elizabeth offered with a smile. "You don't have to suffer."

"Dizzy spells and step ladders do not mix," John insisted as he disappeared back into the wiring in the ceiling of the jumper.

"I'm not..." Elizabeth stopped protesting, hands falling to her hips are she stared up at him in amazement. "How did you…?"

"You do this funny thing with your eyes," came his muffled reply. "Look, I just have to reach the last connection back-" he jolted out for a second, shaking his hand in pain. "Here by the damn one that keeps shocking me."

"Be careful John," Elizabeth advised gently as she tried to figure out what a 'funny thing' she did with her eyes looked like.

He grunted something into the jumper wiring, and she decided she was better off not bothering him until he'd finished and was back to his usual cheerful self. Leaving him to his work, she wandered up the ramp into the second jumper. Wishing for a moment that the lights would come on for her as they did for John, Elizabeth sank into the pilot's seat and reached for the panel release down by her knee.

Something flickered and she pulled her hand back immediately. Wondering if it was a trick of her tired mind, Elizabeth shook it off and reached again for the switch. The flicker flashed bright on the control panel just next to her head. For a moment it came with a hum, the sound of something building up.

This time she jumped entirely away from the control panel. Elizabeth could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Was she going crazy? Had it all just become too much for her mind to handle? Reminding herself she wasn't the type to hallucinate, Elizabeth crept slowly back towards the pilot seat.

"Pull yourself together," she told herself harshly. Taking a moment to tug her hair back away her face and slow the startled beating of her heart, Elizabeth sat down again in the pilot's seat. As soon as her hands gripped the control panel it came feebly to life with a rushing hum of energy. Despite her surprise, this time she kept her hands on the controls. Light ran up the cockpit window, obscuring the view of the jumper bay with the blue and yellow display.

It only remained a moment before fading, but the jumper remained on. The controls pulsed, waiting for her touch.

"John?" Her voice rang through the bay, reaching him as he finally jumped off the stepladder. Kicking it aside for good measure, John jogged down the ramp of his jumper. His first thought was just that she was getting impatient, she'd been more irritable lately, but something in her voice was different.

"What?" his voice preceded him as he jogged up the jumper ramp. "What is it?" he asked again, as soon as he looked past her head he stopped. "Oh my..." trailing off in surprise, John's hand landed on her shoulder. "You don't have the gene."

Elizabeth shook her head dumbly, "No, I don't."

"How'd you turn it on?" John wondered aloud for both of them.

"I sat down," Elizabeth couldn't move her hands from the control panel. "It just came on by itself."

"Stay there," John suggested firmly. He kept himself back from the console, making sure his presence wasn't confusing the controls. "Just don't move," he insisted. "Don't think about anything either." He backed up slowly, trying to remember where he'd left his radio. "Especially not drones!" he remembered suddenly. "Do not think about drones."

His boots thudded against the hard gray floor as he hurried away. They stopped after a moment, returning long enough for him to peek around the edge of the jumper. "Not drones. Not flying. Nothing, don't think at all," John warned as seriously as he could. "I'll be back."

"John," a hint of warning slipped into her voice and Elizabeth tried to ignore the cold sweat starting in her palms. "Just go."

~*~*~*~

How long had they been gone? Days? Weeks? She couldn't help feeling that she'd fallen into another universe where the only things left in existence were her and the flickering jumper. It would be better if it really worked, instead of struggling as if the battery was failing. Her head hurt again. Elizabeth couldn't decide if it was the strain of concentrating on not thinking, or the constant concentration of keeping the jumper online.

"How could she possibly get it to work? She doesn't have the gene; you can't spontaneously develop a gene, can you?" Rodney's mumblings carried across the huge space of the jumper bay.

"No Rodney, no one can spontaneous develop a gene," Carson's tone was the sound of reason as the footsteps approached her. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation."

"Logical?" Rodney laughed as he tried to think of something. "I'm completely out of ideas. I can't wait to see what your voodoo comes up with."

John's hands on her shoulders were her first link back to reality. "You didn't fire anything?" he wondered gently.

"I can barely get the damn thing to stay on," Elizabeth realized belatedly how harsh her tone was as she snapped at him. "I doubt I could have done anything." Perhaps her anger forced her concentration, but somewhere in the rear of the jumper the hum of power grew louder.

"It's all right," Carson soothed as he appeared at her side. "He's just a wee bit concerned. It's not everyday someone turns one of these babies on when they couldn't before." His hand caught her arm and squeezed gently. "Least you don't have any helicopters around for target practice."

Dragging over the stepladder from the other jumper, Rodney started checking the jumper controls as he agreed with Carson. "It's possibly just a malfunction," he began as he cracked open the panels in the ceiling. "A malfunction we've never seen in two and a half years of using the technology, which would be a really useful one."

"You just touched it and it came on?" Carson asked with extraordinary calm. Even after two weeks of isolation, his bedside manner was impeccable. "John wasn't anywhere near you?"

"I was in the other jumper," John answered for her as he sank into the co-pilot's chair.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried to let the stress out of her chest. "It just came on, like it is now, as if the switch is only flipped half-way," she explained with more exhaustion than she remembered feeling before they returned to her.

"That is weird," Rodney piped up from the back of the jumper. Getting down from his stepladder, he stopped next to Carson. "She's right, in a primitive way. The jumper's been partially powered up, as if she'd plugged it in, but not enough for it do anything."

"Can you get the display?" John wondered as he changed position in his chair. He rested his head on his hands; keeping back from the controls took a lot of will power. He finally stood up again, leaning with his arms over the headrest of his chair and fidgeting with his fingers.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried to coax the display up from the panel in front of her. She could see it flicker once through her eyelids, but it was short-lived.

As it faded, Carson leaned down to her shoulder, "Well love, I think I've got it figured out. Can't be a hundred percent sure until I get a chance to examine ye, but I think you've a bit of a medical condition."

"What?" Rodney wondered as he returned to the panels in the ceiling, "A mild case of some kind of ATA virus?"

"No Rodney," Carson corrected firmly. "Elizabeth, maybe we should talk in private."

"Dammit Carson!" she bolted from her chair, instantly killing the light on the panel. Her arms flew protectively over her chest and she glared at him with ice in her eyes. "Just tell me."

"Elizabeth..." he looked down her body, as if he was studying something in her posture that gave it all away, "I think it's fairly obvious that you're pregnant."

The thud in the back of the jumper was followed immediately by Rodney's desperate question; "Excuse me?"

John's expression fluttered for a moment, he tilted his head as if he were trying to remember something. Finally he turned curiously to Carson. "We only had sex two days ago," He admitted haltingly. "How could?" he paused, trying to sort his thoughts, "So soon?"

Elizabeth felt her embarrassment chase color back into her face. Her memory reminded her that she'd tried to put waking up naked with John out of her mind. That she'd tried to forget the way the dark hair of his chest clung to the muscled frame, and the way he smiled when he watched her wake up next to him. She couldn't speak, couldn't find the words to explain to John what must have happened.

Carson only had a soft smile for both of them. His hand closed warm on Elizabeth's stiff shoulder. "Why don't you and John have a little talk while Rodney teaches me how to wire his invention into the jumper?"

She looked at John as if she'd never seen him before. His face should be familiar; the hand reaching for hers should be gripped in response. John's fingers closed firm and warm around her own. Elizabeth felt her stomach leap into her throat. The jumper grew cold around her, and the ceiling seemed closer. Was it closing in?

John tugged her slowly towards the ramp, waiting with eyes wider than she'd ever seen them. His feet led and by some miracle hers followed. The jumper bay faded into the corridor without her feeling like she'd moved at all. Was she teleporting through the city? Was all of it a dream?

Finally, John stopped in a reddish hallway near the living quarters. Some of his tools still sat in a neat pile by one of the doorways. Her knees were nearly too stiff to follow him into the room. He started towards the couch by the wall, but she pulled him back. Waiting for her to lead, he just stood there. His hand started up her arm, but her arms were suddenly around his neck.

Elizabeth pressed against him, clinging to him as if she was drowning in the air around her. For a moment she was still, but when his arms closed around her shoulders they were shaking. Her chest heaved beneath his touch. John stood, rocking ever so slightly back and forth. The weight of her head against him gave way to the wet warmth of tears through his shirt.

He'd never seen her cry. Somehow, John had even wondered if she cried in front of other people at all. For the moment he held on, letting his mind wander away from the strange sounds of her crying. It hadn't even hit him yet, and he wondered what his reaction would be. How would it feel to know he'd fathered a child? What would it feel like when that realization slammed into him?

Shuddering instinctively, he wondered if he should say something. John nearly opened his mouth, but he couldn't. His mind didn't even know how to form words anymore, but he could wait. Anything he wanted to say would sound just as pathetic later when he figured out how to say it. He was sure he'd struggle later. He'd agonize over the twists in the road of fate someday, but for now, he held on.

The spanner bounced off the jumper, landing on the floor just past Carson's head. Cursing as he jumped out of the way, the Scot glared up at the roof of the jumper where the spanner had started its descent. "Watch it," he called up.

"Sorry, I forgot you were down there," Rodney snipped from his perch on the roof. "You've been so quiet."

Carson tossed the spanner politely back up at the other man and sighed with his hands on his hips. “What's the trouble Rodney?"

"Nothing..." he lied without attempt to hide it, "...nothing at all. What could possibly be wrong with the fact that you, who I've worked with for two and a half years, you whom I consider one of my closest friends..."

"...you wanted me to tell you Elizabeth was pregnant," Carson interjected into Rodney's rant. Ducking into the jumper out of the way of anymore falling tools, he climbed the step ladder to activate one of the internal circuits.

Sparks cascaded down from the roof with the hissing sound of released energy. Rodney's voice followed a moment later. "They're both my friends and colleagues. I think something like that would fall into the realm of things I should know," he explained; his frustration palpable in his voice.

"Didn't ye see the look on her face?" Carson pointed out firmly. "She had no idea until I told her. She's been symptomatic since before we even left Earth and she had no bloody idea until the jumper came on."

Rodney's feet appeared over the edge of the hatch, followed by his legs and a thud as he dropped to the floor of the bay. "It still doesn't mean you couldn't have warned me, I can be discrete. I mean...wait....you knew then?" he realized suddenly. "Back on Earth?" he continued with begrudging amazement.

"No Rodney, I didn't know," Carson offered, dropping his hands out of his work and taking a step down the ladder. "I had a hunch when she went a wee bit green on the ride to the restaurant," he explained calmly. Taking the last step down to the floor of the jumper, he met Rodney's confusion with calm. "I think it might have been a bit easier on the poor lass if she'd have let me tell her in private."

"She's never been one to do anything the easy way," Rodney added with a slight shake of his head.

"I think it's a prerequisite to join the expedition," Carson chuckled softly. "I wouldn't worry too much. They're certainly not the first, or last couple to be surprised with a baby."

"A baby..." Rodney echoed softly. "I remember finding out my sister was pregnant. I thought she was absolutely insane to give up her life to be home with the kid." He sank to the bench in the jumper, toying with the spanner as he sorted his thoughts. "Do you think they'll go back to Earth?"

Carson's eyebrows narrowed darkly, but then he smiled as light-heartedly as he could. "Ask me if I think any of us will make it back to Earth anytime soon," he replied without much conviction. He joined Rodney on the bench of the jumper, clasping his hands and resting them on his knees. "I can't see either of them leaving Atlantis. It wouldn't be the same without Colonel Sheppard dragging his team into my infirmary," he said as he began to smile. "Or without Elizabeth yelling at him to prove how much she missed him."

"You noticed that too, huh?" Rodney joined his smile. "Do you think they'll be..." his hands gestured nervously, fluttering together finally to land on his lap. "...together for awhile?"

Carson's laughter echoed through the bay. "I don't know if you've noticed Rodney, but they've been a couple for some time now. I think this 'little development' might make it easier for them to admit it to their selves.”

“But everything's okay?” Rodney wondered as his concern played across his face. “You're sure Elizabeth and it...” he paused and corrected himself, “...the baby, I mean...I guess...are okay?”

“I haven't examined her yet,” Carson protested as he shook his head. “But, Elizabeth's in good health, and provided we all survive the next few months, I know the baby will be too.”

Rodney nodded once. Standing up slowly, he stared off into the other side of the bay in thought. “Are we supposed to do something?” he asked innocently. “Get them a gift or a party or something?”

“Probably,” Carson grinned easily. “Why don't we rescue the General first and worry about the rest of it later.”

“Yeah, right,” Rodney agreed quickly as he headed back to the roof of the jumper. “Rescue the general.”
~*~*~*~

He was supposed to say something. It nagged at the back of John's mind, gnawing at him. Elizabeth's head was still buried in his chest. He hadn't seen her face since the crying started. Having her in his arms was one of his favorite ways to spend his time. This felt like cheating, as if he hadn't earned her being there.

He touched her shoulder, running his hand down her back. “You okay?” he wondered shyly, keeping his voice soft enough that she could ignore him if she wanted.

She stiffened in response, sitting up and pulling away from his chest. The dampness was still there on his shirt, nearly invisible on the black. She shouldn't have given in; Elizabeth chided herself as she wiped her eyes fiercely with her hands. “No,” she straightened up next to him, pulling herself together, “Not at all, but it's all right.”

“You're always all right,” John offered softly as he allowed her to pull back. “I wish once in awhile you'd tell me that you weren't.”

“What good would that do?” she asked quickly, trying to smile enough to convince him to leave her alone. Elizabeth wasn't sure that she wanted him to leave, being alone was more terrifying. “Really John, what do you want from me?” Watching his flinch back from her tone, she softened. “I'm...”

“Hey,” John cut her off quickly, throwing his hands up in defense. “No pressure, I'm not trying to get anything from you. I'm just here because...” he paused and fell into thought, “I...”

Shaking her head slowly, Elizabeth sighed and lowered it to his shoulder. “Have to be?” she wondered bitterly.

“No,” he corrected firmly as he squeezed her shoulders tighter, “I don't have to be. Well, maybe I do...” he rolled his eyes at himself, “...I do. And I want to be. I like being with you.”

Starting to laugh slightly, she relaxed into his arm. “That's good,” she replied softly, her laughter fading as she grew serious again. “You're going to have a hard time being rid of me. This...” she stopped, sitting up again and rubbing her temples.”

“Headache?” John wondered, slipping his hands over hers and taking over the motion. “Crying gives me the nastiest headaches,” he admitted softly; finding the tightness in the muscles in the back of her head with his thumbs.

“You don't cry,” she corrected as she let him work the tension out of her head.

“I do,” he insisted, “There have been a select few Super Bowls that just destroyed me.”

Her laughter helped relax the tiny muscles. “Someday you'll have to tell me which ones,” Elizabeth baited, reaching up to pull his hands down to her lap. “Thank you.”

John squeezed back, freeing one of his hands to wave around the room. Besides the couch, there were two huge windows filled with ocean and a view of the city, a door that promised to lead to a balcony, and a bedroom with one of the few larger beds they'd found. “What do you think?” he quietly changed the subject.

“It's bigger than my last room,” her eyes flew around it quickly; she'd barely looked at it before.

“I've been fixing rooms,” John explained nervously. “Had everyone else pick one out, but you were so busy I thought...”

“It's lovely,” she interrupted.

“I want to move in with you,” John finished abruptly; hoping he'd get it out before he lost his nerve. “I've never lived with anyone before, but I'm pretty quiet. I like to read my book. I pick up my socks.”

“John...” she stopped, trying to calm herself before she started again. “Isn't this a little quick?”

“We've having a baby,” he corrected; sliding off the couch to sit in front of her on the floor. Taking her hand back, he held them tightly in his own, staring up at her expectantly. “I've been thinking about asking anyway. Picked out this room because it's the nicest I've found, came up with a bunch of different ways to ask you.”

His hands were warm and heavy on her knees, but the distraction of his suggestion was welcome after the shock she'd had. “John, I don't know,” she shook her head, staring over his head with narrowed eyebrows.

“Say yes,” he suggested; getting up to his knees to reach her face. “I've come home to an empty place for all of my adult life. I always thought someday I'd meet someone who could put up with me. I've met more people, but it got less and less likely,” he let his hand fall back to her lap. “When I met you I couldn't imagine why you'd want me on your team. Couldn't think of a reason to say yes because I'd only end up pissing you off once you realized what an ass I can be.

“But you kept me. You let me in and you made me part of something I lost a long time ago. Until a few weeks ago, I counted you as family. But Rodney, Teyla, Carson, Ronan; they're my family. You're something different,” he paused, realizing how foolish he sounded.

“Because I'm pregnant?” Elizabeth wondered harshly. She'd seen his sense of duty before; knew how devoted he was to the people around him. “I don't want you to feel...”

“I don't feel,” John snapped back desperately. “I mean, I'm not doing anything. I...” Closing his eyes for a second, he caught up with his racing heartbeat. “...I want you. I want to be here when you wake up in the morning; when you go to bed. I want Elizabeth, not Doctor Weir.” Stopping nervously, John fought with his mind. Wishing he could somehow just take everything from his mind and lay it out in front of her, he cupped her face when she tried to look away.

“It's too fast,” she whispered. Her hands covered his, feeling the strength in his slender fingers. “All of this is too fast. I used to wonder if I'd have children someday, but I put it out of my mind entirely when I came to Atlantis. I haven't even been on a date in more than a year. Now I'm...”

Her lips were still moving when he kissed her. John felt her gasp before he released her. Meeting her eyes long enough to calm her, he kissed her again. This time she melted into him, leaning forward as he stretched up to meet her. “Let me live with you,” he begged softly. “Would it really be that bad?”

“I'm going to be sick. I'm going to be tired. I'm not going to be the best roommate,” Elizabeth rationalized as she left the sofa to stare out into the deep blue abyss. “How can you propose this?”

John mouthed the word 'propose' to himself, wondering quietly at her word choice. He studied her back, marveling at the lines of her figure. “I know what I want,” he replied simply. “I don't care if you're sick all the time, or if you come home and snap at me every night.” Sneaking up behind her, John wished he could wrap his arms around her. “I know how much you work. How much time you spend protecting and caring for everyone else.”

“I'm not good at this,” she explained without looking away from the window. “I don't even feel like this is happening to me. It feels...” The tears threatened her eyes again, driving the stinging pain of her headache back into her mind. “I came here to save the city. I couldn't let it be destroyed, not when so much has happened here. I never meant to... I'm not supposed to...” Tears glittered in her eyelashes as she turned around, “...I don't know what to tell you.”

“I thought you were good at talking,” John teased as he reached for her cheek. Stopping just before her skin, he waited; hand in the air as he wondered if he was being too forward.

Elizabeth wiped her own cheek; fighting her desire to just let him take over. “Nuclear weapons are easy,” she explained lightly. “Countries are just like people. They have wants, desires, and secrets they are desperately afraid to have brought to life.”

“What are you afraid of?” John wondered as he brought his hands back to his pockets.

“Afraid of...?” she trailed off with a shake of her head, “...everything. You, me, never getting the city working again...”

“...being pregnant,” John interrupted firmly. “I think I'm, well, I don't really know what I'm expected to do, but I know you. I know what I see in your eyes.” He shuffled closer to her, remembering the touch of her skin against his and the taste of the sweat on her neck. “I can help you,” he reached out, catching her shoulder, “But you kinda have to let me. At some point you're going to need me.”

Shivering slightly with exhaustion, Elizabeth sighed heavily. “I already need you,” she whispered finally. “You're my second-in-command, you help me run in the city in so many small ways I could never count them all.”

“Colonel Sheppard is your second-in-command,” John corrected firmly as he held her a little tighter. “Sometimes you have to just let me be John.”

“How can you be sure this is what you want?” she demanded, resolve creeping into her voice. “You don't even know me.” Hurt blossomed on his face, surprising her more than she wanted to admit.

“Then teach me,” John offered softly, “let me teach you.” He released her shoulders, smiling at her with unbridled caring. “After all, it was you that taught me that the unconventional can be exactly what you need sometimes. Right now, I'm what you need. Kids like me.” His charming smile and the wink that accompanied it broke through her reserve.

Elizabeth fought her tears again and only partially succeeded. “John,” she began, “It's not going to be easy.”

“Not if you keep looking at it that way,” he insisted as he gently attacked the tears on her cheek with his thumbs, “come here.” Drawing her to his chest, he folded her into his arms. Elizabeth remained rigid for a moment, and then her hands dug so tightly into his back that John nearly forgot to breath. “It's okay,” he whispered. “You, me, the city, Rodney...We'll all be okay.”

“I'll believe you,” Elizabeth promised shyly, keeping her head buried in his chest.

“Damn right,” John encouraged as lightly as he could. “And about time.” He laughed at himself, chuckling softly as he tried to figure out what insanity had led him there.

“I never told you what she told me,” Elizabeth began when she turned her head out from his chest, eyes still closed.

“Who?” John asked patiently, rubbing his hand across her back. He waited for her to take a breath before he moved them back to the couch. He was tired, and he guessed she must be exhausted.

“Me,” Elizabeth explained, smiling and nodding to him as he sat her down, “The other me, the one we found in the city. She said I needed to be here, right now, that I should stop worrying so much.”

“I think she's smarter than you,” John teased lightly, offering her the hem of his shirt to dry her face.

Smiling wryly as she wiped her eyes with the edge of his black t-shirt, Elizabeth felt her stomach start to ease. “She has ten thousand years of life experience up on me,” she rebutted as she sat awkwardly back on the sofa. John's arm was at her side until she pulled it up over her shoulders. “I think you're allowed,” she teased back, grinning a little brighter when his cheeks pinked for a moment. “It seems like there's so much to worry about, especially now, God John, can you really imagine...” trailing off, Elizabeth took his free hand and put it gently over her stomach.

John jerked reflexively, not entirely used to her proximity. He forced his hand to relax and felt the warmth of her body through her identical black t-shirt. “No, I really can't,” he offered as he sighed his fear out of his chest. “I wanted, I mean, want kids, I really do like them. I thought I'd be more...” he paused, unable to finish what he meant to say, “Something more at least.”

“It doesn't feel any different, does it?” Elizabeth asked him as they shared a nod. “I thought I'd feel something. Ever since Carson...”

“...pointed it out to us,” John interjected with a quick grin. “How long do you think he knew?”

Elizabeth's eyes widened in mortification. Sighing as she toyed with John's hand on her stomach, she gazed down as if she'd just discovered her body existed. “Probably longer than he'll ever admit,” she decided as her eyes slipped closed again. “It should have been so obvious. I'm not usually so fragile. I was starting to wonder if my body was even on my side anymore.”

John held her a little tighter to his side, reminding himself that he'd been all but given her formal consent. “You okay?” he asked as he turned his hand to squeeze the one over it.

“My head's a little fuzzy,” she admitted without opening her eyes. “Suppose I should have held it together better. Kept myself from breaking down into a blubbering mess on your shoulder.” Her tone belied her annoyance at herself, but the tightening of her eyebrows spoke only of her exhaustion.

“I think that was one of the sweetest things you've done,” John argued, completely turning her thoughts around as he continued, “You proved you were human.”

“I didn't,” Elizabeth replied with mock surprise. “I'm going to have to be more careful. Can't let you know I'm human after all.”

“That would really take the fun out of it, wouldn't it?” John joked back as he thought about playing with her hair. He liked it longer, it brought a softness to her face. “Doctor Weir is always serious and most definitely not human,” he explained with his voice entirely devoid of emotion.

To his delight she laughed slightly, moving closer to him. “Definitely,” she agreed, still laughing to herself. “Most definitely.”

~*~*~*~

The ocean was dark outside the windows of the gate room. Rodney held his cup in his hand. The steel cup was half full of the last of their coffee because he'd insisted that water just wasn't festive enough. Behind him the brilliant blue rippling surface evaporated with a whoosh as their test run shut down. He took a long drink of his water and beamed at his team from his place on the steps. “Here's to a long time before it goes dark again,” he toasted proudly.

John clinked his cup against Teyla's and Ronan's and grinned along. “Just say no to electromagnetic pulses and I think we'll be fine,” he added to the toast as Carson joined him in a wink.

“Aye, I think I can die happy if I never have to deal with one of those damn crystals again,” Carson tacked on as he drank along with the rest of them.

Elizabeth swirled her coffee slowly and realized it would probably be the last anyone let her see of it for quite some time.

Teyla caught her pensive stare and touched her shoulder. “Is something wrong?” she wondered politely. “You look as if your coffee has offended you.”

“I was just thinking I'm going to miss it,” Elizabeth replied softly, still staring at her cup. “Carson said I need to give it up.”

“And you are,” John interrupted, swooping suddenly in to take her cup. “In fact, you're giving it up right now.”

Elizabeth couldn't come up with a response. She watched him dump the contents of her cup into his and refill hers with water. John pressed it back into her hands without so much as an apology. She hated feeling helpless, and hated the way everyone seemed to have license to treat her as a child.

“It is probably a good idea, since you are pregnant,” Teyla affirmed as she finished the last of her own drink. As the look of surprise flashed across Elizabeth's face she smiled, “Rodney informed Ronan and I. We are both pleased for you, though I must admit to being rather surprised.”

Choking slightly on her water, Elizabeth finished coughing before she could speak. “You're not alone. I...I mean, John and I were a little...”

“...shocked,” Teyla finished for her, “Rodney also mentioned that. He said that you were rendered speechless, something he claims to have never seen before.”

Elizabeth shot a glare over to her chief scientist. He obliviously returned her annoyance with a brilliant smile and a wave of his cup. She finished the last of the water and closed her eyes for a moment. “It's been a strange day,” she sighed; her dizziness made her head feel disconnected from her body and an odd feeling of warmth seeped into her skull.

Teyla watched the color drained from her face and forced her down to the steps with strong arms. “Are you all right?”

“Dizzy,” Elizabeth explained as her hand slipped to her forehead. “I'll be gone in a moment.”

The simple act of sitting down caught both John and Carson's attention so rapidly that they attacked like vultures before Teyla had the chance to inquire further.

“Are you okay?” John pressed anxiously as he settled down next to her on the stairs. They brought the light with them, setting the lantern by her feet.

Carson caught her wrist, taking her pulse with his fingertips. “It's going a little fast love. Maybe you'd let me examine you?” he suggested firmly.

John nodded quickly, pointing towards the doctor. “Definitely let him examine you,” he insisted.

Elizabeth let Carson keep his hold on her wrist, but she shot John a glare of annoyance. “I'm fine,” she countered, taking her hand back as soon as it was released. “We're all tired.”

“Infirmary,” Carson insisted, getting up and dragging her to her feet. “If ye come up fine there, you can yell at me for being wrong then.”

John caught her arm, standing beside her and refusing to let go as she stood on her own. Teyla stood back a moment, quiet amusement dancing in her soft brown eyes.

Ronan summed it up, “You're all crazy,” he announced. “If she's anything like my sister she'll be miserable every day she's pregnant.” He shot Elizabeth an apologetic glance as he stole the last of the coffee from the pot in the center of the room. “Best to stop worrying about it now.”

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed, but she returned Ronan's smile sardonically. “He's right you two,” she began, hating what she was about to say, “I'm probably just one of those really unlucky women.”

“You're not going to quit your job?” Rodney interrupted suddenly, “Are you? Because we'd all, miss you, and well, the next commander will probably not be nearly as understanding as you are, and all the scientists would much rather we didn't have a military commander, and you know that's who they'd want to send.” He clutched his cup nervously, looking down at the floor when John turned on him. “I just wanted to know,” Rodney added defensively, “I think it's a valid question. My sister, who you've met, gave up years of research to have a child. Though the kid is really cute, she should have kept up with her field.”

“I'm not leaving Rodney,” Elizabeth said as she shook herself free from Carson and John. “I don't intend to quit anything, and if the IOA have any ideas to that effect, they'll have to get through me first.”

“Thank you,” Rodney said sincerely as the tension slipped from his shoulders. “We...I...appreciate that.”

“All right Carson, let's go down to the infirmary and get it over with,” Elizabeth finished with a conciliatory smile.

Ronan pushed the lantern towards them with his foot. “You take this, Teyla and I can just bring Rodney along to the Athosian settlement. We're getting some real food...”

Rodney brightened immediately, cheered by the thought of real food. “We'll be fine. See you when they're done with you,” he called as bounced up towards the control room to dial the Athosian world. He paused halfway up the steps and turned back, returning to Elizabeth's side to add, “Elizabeth? I really hope you're okay.”

Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder before slapping it lightly. “I am fine Rodney,” she informed him with an exhausted smile, “Now stop worrying. That goes for all of you.”

Ronan chuckled and nudged Rodney towards the hallway. “My sister survived four babies, I have faith in your ability to handle one,” he explained as he shared a private smile with Teyla.

“It is the colonel we worry about,” Teyla continued, losing the battle to hide her smile. “I doubt he was prepared.”

“Oh I'm not,” John volunteered immediately, “I am entirely not prepared for this. I don't even know where to start.”

“I believe you wanted to start by dragging me to the infirmary,” Elizabeth reminded him coyly, “Though I have to admit, it's not terrible romantic if you bring Carson along...”

“Oh...” Rodney winced suddenly, shaking his head in disgust, “You are totally not allowed to joke about that. I just got over the part where I learned you were pregnant; I'm entirely not ready to get into the how. That's just not right...”

“Just think, once you've gotten pregnant, you really don't need to worry about getting pregnant again,” Ronan's eyes flashed wickedly as he leaned closer to Rodney. “They can do whatever they want.”

“Ewww...” Rodney squeaked as from the control room. “I really didn't need to think about that. I still don't need to think about that...” Ronan bounced up the stairs after him, standing behind him at the controls and leaning in occasionally to whisper something else that only drew more disgusted noises from the scientist.

Teyla gave the three of them a nod before following. “We will see you when we return,” she said simply, “I hope your examination goes well.”

~*~*~*~

Awhile later, once they reached the infirmary, Elizabeth slid up on the tan examination table and waited patiently with her hands folded in her lap. “Well, you've got me, now what?”

Setting the lantern on the table so it lit the dark infirmary as best as it could, Carson started with the blood pressure cuff; sliding it up over her short black sleeve. “I'm afraid there isn't much I can do with the medical supplies we have, I'm starting with your blood pressure.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth allowed gently, watching the needle rise as she felt the cuff tighten around her arm. “Are you going to let John in?” she asked as she glanced across to the door, “He's just going to pace in the hallway.”

“I was going to leave that up to you, Love,” Carson replied as he listened to her heartbeat thud firmly in his ears. “I assume you worked something out?”

“I'm...he's moving in with me,” Elizabeth admitted as she felt the blush erupt across her cheeks. She looked away, watching the smooth light of the battery powered lantern and wishing oddly that it had a flame. The blue-white light just wasn't as comforting as it could be.

“Well that's a way, I suppose,” Carson teased as he pulled the stethoscope from his ears and hung it around his neck. “I'll go fetch him, that way he can stop eavesdropping outside my infirmary.”

John rolled around the corner, looking rather sheepish. “Sorry,” he said without any real remorse. Shuffling up to her side, he gave Carson his full attention. “How's she doing?”

Elizabeth found his hand, pulling it into her lap as she waited for Carson's prognosis.

“I'm going to poke around at your abdomen for a bit, just snap at me when it hurts,” Carson teased as he laid her back on the bed.

“Have you noticed how he pulls out the good bedside manner for me?” Elizabeth snapped back as she tried to ignore his hands pressing into her stomach. Staring straight up at the darkened ceiling helped keep her mind at bay.

John jumped when she squeezed his hand suddenly. He leaned down, stopping close enough to her head that he could smell the traces of combat issue shampoo in her hair. “You okay?” he wondered, feeling the sweat of her hand dampen his fingers.

“It's a little uncomfortable,” she said as her grip whitened around his. Uncomfortable was an understatement; Carson's hands bordered on painful as he felt his way around her abdomen.

“I am sorry,” Carson offered as he paused for a moment, “You have to understand, there's not a lot I can do without power that isn't a little invasive.”

Biting her lip let Elizabeth kept her control. John felt his chest tighten in sympathy; he was about to tell Carson to stop when the doctor pulled back his hands.

“All right,” he said gently as he helped her sit up. “I'm done. When we get the power back on I'd like to do an internal exam, but for now I can tell that you're between eight and ten weeks pregnant...”

“Guess we had a little more fun on that mission to Ceol than we thought,” John said chagrined as she released his hand. He stuffed them back into his pockets, feeling the weight of his new responsibilities settle like lead onto his shoulders.

Elizabeth blushed along with him, wiping her hands against her thighs. “At least my lack of a social life makes me sure you're the father...” she stopped immediately when Carson and John's expressions both turned entirely scandalized. “I'm kidding,” she promised as she slid off the table.

Carson managed to smile, but John still struggled with her joke. He shook his head, trying to shed the feeling of betrayal along with it. “That's not funny,” he insisted seriously as discomfort softening his expression.

“How are your symptoms?” Carson inquired, professionally inserting himself between the other two. “Are ye still nauseated?”

“Not really...” Elizabeth started. Quickly looking away from either of them before they read the lie in her eyes.

“...yes” John finished for her. His eyebrows narrowed as he struggled with a new sense of duty heavy in his stomach. “And dizzy, and her head hurts.”

“I'm fine Carson,” Elizabeth insisted over his objections as she glared at John. “He's just being overprotective.”

“She's just being stoic,” John argued, raising his voice enough to cover hers. His hands emerged from his pockets, and he pointed at her. “She's exhausted.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Elizabeth studied him with a careful eye. “John Sheppard, I had no idea you were such a tattletale.” Somewhere within her, deeper than she cared to admit, she was touched by his concern. Her iron control of her expression faded.

“Just be careful, know your limits. You aren't going to be able to push yourself like you are used to,” Carson cautioned firmly. “You'll tire faster and recover slower, and the more you push yourself the worse you'll feel.” He paused, reaching for her shoulder. “I want ye to take me seriously now, and know I'm not trying to frighten ye,” he stopped again, concern softening his eyes. “The first trimester carries the highest risk of miscarriage. Take care of yourself, and let John help you for that matter.”

Elizabeth started to speak, clinging to her indignation instead of giving in.

Carson hushed her with a wave of his hand, “I care about ye both, and I don't want to be giving ye any bad news.” Rubbing her shoulder to comfort her, he smiled. “So be good,” he cautioned, “Don't over do it, give yourself some time to adapt. Don't be lifting heavy things, skipping meals, or getting yourself knocked around by the bad guys.”

Elizabeth couldn't look at John, his concern was frighteningly vivid on his face and only made the ice in the pit of her stomach worse. “It's okay now?” she prayed softly. Despair painted a terrible picture of his disappointment. She'd make a mistake, push herself too hard and destroy everything. She'd be the one who ripped his heart out.

“You're just fine,” Carson promised as he released her shoulder. “I'll keep an eye on you, and I'm sure John will help me.”

John nodded firmly, filing every caution away in his mind.

“Between the two of us, you'll be fine, Love,” Carson finished, packing his things away, and handing John the lantern as he sealed his medical kit. The shadows moved against the wall, making them feel small in the empty corridor.

“I don't think I want to know what else is lying in wait for me,” Elizabeth complained petulantly as she followed John and the light back towards the cafeteria. The sound of their feet echoed in the empty city, and she pulled her jacket tighter around herself against the chill in the air. It was infinitely colder than it had been before the exam.

“Ye haven't fainted yet, have ye?” Carson threatened with a shake of his finger as he brought up the rear. Her silence made him chuckle as he hurried along after them. “Aye, I didn't think so.”

“Doctor Beckett, are you resorting to scare tactics?” she wondered as she tried to rub heat into her arms. It was hard to joke about it. Elizabeth zipped her jacket up to her chin, wishing the flack jacket was a little more insulated.

John waited a step, letting her catch up to him. Switching the lantern to his far hand, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He moved slowly, not entirely sure what her reaction was going to be. It was a pleasant surprise when Elizabeth smiled and let it remain. Slowing his stride enough to let her keep up, he felt his heart quicken. It had been a long time since he'd had a crush that made his heart beat faster. He watched her smile creep into her green eyes, knowing she'd been worth waiting for and he'd never let her go.

It smelled like heaven, rich with spice and the scent of fresh meat. Rodney knelt next to the stew pot and closed his eyes. "This is the best thing I've ever smelled," he announced with more optimism than anyone had heard from him for weeks. "When I finally die a glorious death, I want to smell this again."

Teyla stirred the pot of stew and turned to the new bread the Athosians had generously given them. "It will indeed be nice to not eat MREs for a long time," she agreed.

"I know," Rodney chortled gleefully as he examined the bundle of food Ronan set down next to him. "I agree with you, and I like them," he added as he lifted a loaf of bread and sniffed it. "Do we really have to wait for them? All this food, it's right here and..."

"...we wait," Ronan insisted as he grabbed the bread away from Rodney. "We're a team and we eat together."

"You have no idea how long they're going to be, this really isn't fair..." Rodney's complaints ended when light poured from the hallway. "Oh thank you for showing up," he cheered, stealing the bread back from Ronan and tearing a hunk off. He stuffed it into his mouth and waved as the other half of the team approached.

Carson nearly skipped up to Teyla and kissed her cheek. "It's lovely, the smell is lovely, you're lovely..." he trailed off, losing interest in continuing any farther as Ronan handed him a bowl.

Elizabeth shouldn't have been surprised when John remained with her. Though his face held just as much excitement as the good doctor, he was still steadfastly bound to her. He'd always been loyal, but this was beyond what she expected. In her current condition, the smell didn't immediately revive her appetite as it did for everyone else, but she did have to admit she was hungry. Joining her team on the floor, she served herself some of the stew and settled down to eat.
~*~*~*~

---

"I want you to stay here," John announced up towards the dark ceiling of their bedroom. His hands were folded over his stomach and he lay face up at her side. She was curled up next to him, wrapped in her sleeping bag with her back towards him.

"Stay here?" Elizabeth wondered sleepily as she rolled back towards him. "What do you mean?"

"Tomorrow, when we go on the mission, I want you to stay here," John explained without turning his face towards her. "You can man the gate, make sure we have something to come home to, but I don't want you anywhere near the Replicators."

Anger chased away her drowsiness and she rested her hand on his chest. "Why would I do that?" Elizabeth snapped, turning her frustration into a fist. "You've spent two weeks teaching me to fire an ARG and knocking me down to the mats in the gym so I can sit here and twiddle my thumbs while everyone else on my team risks their lives?"

He caught her fist just above the muscles of his chest. John stared at it, impressed by her resolve. "Because you can't go," he insisted again, sitting up next to her in the pitch dark of the bedroom.

"It's still my life, John," she argued back, feeling her fury run hot through her veins. "No matter what is going on within me, no matter how our relationship changes, I am still in charge of the city and you will not tell me what to do."

"The hell I won't," he shouted, more livid than she'd seen him since Kolya had threatened her life. John's bare feet thudded softly against the floor as he left the bed. He'd taken off his t-shirt to sleep, and in the darkness she could barely make out the dark splotch of his boxers against his skin. He took a deep breath and forced himself to be civil.

"I can't let you," he said without looking at her. "Not as your military commander..."

Her feet were silent in her socks as she left the bed after him. The sleeping bag she held wrapped around her body slithered across the floor behind her like a cloak. "If not as my military commander, what authority do you have?" she wondered, her fury still boiling beneath the surface as she followed him.

"None..." he turned around slowly, not even feeling the cool air on his skin. "I've got nothing," he shrugged weakly, sighing his defeat. "But I can't let you go on the mission."

"I'm going," Elizabeth countered, letting her olive sleeping bag fall slightly, baring pale shoulders and the straps of his black tank top. "And there's nothing you can do to stop me."

John threw his hands out from his body and lost his control. "Dammit I know!" he shouted violently enough to make her jump backwards reflexively.

She squared her shoulders, dropping the sleeping bag entirely. John couldn't help noticing how small she was in his too-big black tank top. With her bra lying in the neat pile with the rest of her clothes, it was obvious even in the dark how her body had begun to change. Her breasts were fuller, rounder than they'd been. She was still gorgeous. Her eyes were flashing with predatory fury and all he wanted was to do was to strip her out of his former shirt.

"I know," John repeated gently as he tried to put his thousand rushing thoughts into a sentence that made sense. "I can't let you risk yourself and the baby."

Fear assaulted her again, ripping up through her stomach with cold fingers. "You don't have a choice," she hissed back, burying the terror beneath her rage.

"I can't let you," he echoed, struggling against the lump in his throat. "I can't put you in the situation where you could lose..."

Hurt flashed across her face, taking the strength out of her shoulders. "You don't trust me?" she spat, angrily interrupting him before he could say what really scared her, "All that time, all our work, the years we spent together, side by side running the city and you can't trust me?" Raising her hand to him, she dropped it a breath away from his face.

"Get out!" she ordered with unbridled scorn, so furious that her eyes nearly glowed in the darkness.

"No!" he refused blatantly, catching her by the shoulders. "Don't put words in my mouth and just listen to me for once."

His fingers dug into her shoulders hard enough to sting, but she was too angry to care. Keeping her hands at her sides, Elizabeth balled them into fists. "You have thirty seconds," she mandated.

"I can't let you go because I can't..." John trailed off, staring into her eyes and terrifying himself with what erupted in his heart. "I can't let them get their filthy hands on you." Releasing her shoulders suddenly, he backed away a step. He tried to look away, but he couldn't. "When I close my eyes I see him. That Niam thing, with his hands around your neck," he choked out as he fled her sight, sinking down to the bed and dropping his head into his hands. "And I can't watch that. I can't even think about that."

"John," she began slowly, unwilling to let go of her anger just yet. "I don't understand..."

"...I love you." The admission fell from his lips, escaping like a projectile weapon. John brought his head up, meeting her eyes as his thousand thoughts faded into one infinitely more dangerous one.

"Oh God, John, you don't..." she whimpered, cutting off as she reached for her head. Sinking back against the wall helped her keep her balance, but just barely. The room swam with tiny sparkles of light that seemed to be coming from inside of her eyes.

"Hey!" he watched her falter and ran across to her. John's arms were her salvation when her legs refused to support her anymore. "Great," he punished himself in a whisper, "Just great, Sheppard."

His shoulder was solid beneath her head and he dragged her back up to her feet before scooping her up in his arms. It was undignified, but necessary when Elizabeth's body stubbornly refused to support her own weight. He'd never held a woman like that before; John realized when he clutched her to his chest. With anyone else it would have been too intimate, and even with her he was afraid. Instead of thinking, he walked to the bed. Leaning down over her as he set her down, he became acutely aware of how thin the fabric between them was.

The bed was soft and warm beneath her when her senses started to return. First it was the smell of his chest, and the hint of fear in his sweat. Then she knew the feeling of his hand on her chest, and the gentleness in his touch.

"Hey," John coaxed as he shook her shoulder, "Come on, don't make me go get Carson, he's grumpy at night."

Elizabeth blinked slowly, wishing her eyes would give up on the sparks that invaded her blurry view of his face. "I did it, didn't I?" she wondered through the residual disorientation.

"You fainted," he explained nervously, "At least; I think that was what happened." John brushed her hair out of her face. "Scared me," he ventured shyly, waiting for his heart to stop pounding.

"Didn't mean too," she apologized weakly as she struggled to lift her head. Elizabeth's only reward was the rush of heat inside her head that threatened her with blackness again.

Watching her eyes start to drift from his, he moved quickly to push her back. "Okay, head down," John commanded, still struggling with the knot in his stomach. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"John," she started desperately, "I..." her voice broke weakly, "...you," Elizabeth struggled to finish. "You understand, don't you?"

He leaned back from the bed, caught somewhere between his fears and his curiosity. John squatted down, feeling the cold floor more intensely on his bare feet. "Not really," he shrugged before resting his chin on his hands. "You sleep," he insisted.

"Cold," she whispered softly, reminding him to pull the sleeping bag up.

John stood up, unzipping the olive sleeping bag all around until it covered the bed in a square. He sat next to her, making sure she stayed with him. Surprise flashed on his face when she pulled him down towards her. Making room on the bed, she insinuated herself into his arms. Her head snuggled into the hollow of his shoulder, and her hands held his arms tightly against her stomach.

"I'm sorry I said..." he struggled out, choking on his uncertainty.

"No..." she interrupted, opening her eyes into the darkness. "Don't be sorry..." Elizabeth yawned, trying vainly to keep herself awake long enough to finish the conversation. "Are you sure you...?"

"...love you?" John filled in for her. "I'm sure." It was easier in the darkness, almost as if it could protect him. "And before you say it, I'm not in love with you because you're pregnant or in my bed. I love you because you're extraordinary." Sighing softly into her hair, he relaxed, letting go of the last of his nervousness. "I don't get people," he admitted as he spooned up closer. "I never know what they're thinking, or what they want, but..." he stopped speaking when a curl of her hair tickled his neck. Shivering with strange feelings, John brought it to his lips.

"...you I want to get," he finished carefully. "I want to know what makes you tick, why you smile, why you agreed to climb into bed with me..." he stopped, giving up on speech as he worried she'd fallen asleep.

Elizabeth turned, rolling over in his arms so her face was just a breath away from his. "You're warm," she teased lightly, trying to find the humor in it. When that failed, her lower lip started to tremble, belying her fear. "I'm afraid," she whispered as she shut her eyes. "I can't fathom any of this," she paused, taking a deep breath. "I can't handle being pregnant..." her voice caught on the lump in her throat, "...but I'm even more afraid of not being pregnant..."

"Shhh..." he hushed her as one of his hands slid over her hip. The skin was soft and cool in his palm. "Carson didn't mean to scare you."

"I know," she said as her head rustled against the pillow. "But I can't get it out of my head. One mistake and it's over. I'll-"

"No you won't," John stopped her with a finger over her mouth. "You won't, I'd never..."

"I know," she answered before he finished. Elizabeth wriggled close enough to brush her lips against his. Kissing him brought warmth to her lips; something she realized she'd been missing as it bled through her body.

John returned the kiss tentatively, unwilling to be the one who pushed her.

Desire sent heat through her body, and it radiated down, reminding her in an instant that his hand was on her skin. Taking it in hers, Elizabeth slid it up her chest, smiling at him slightly in the darkness. "I think you can do better than that," she teased, waiting for his surprise to rush across his face. As soon as he started to reply she kissed him again, pushing him down as she rolled over him.

John was lost in taste of her and the wetness invading his mouth. He caught her shoulders, lifting her from him. The battle between his sense of duty and the mad compulsion to keep kissing her actually hurt. He wanted to grab her and crush her against him, but he only allowed himself to run one hand down her back.

"That's better," she corrected as she nibbled down his chin. "When did you find time to shave?" Elizabeth wondered as she played across the smooth skin of his cheek.

"Borrowed some stuff from Ronon," he volunteered as she started her exploration of his chest. Jumping slightly as she pressed her cool lips into his collarbone, John shivered. "The man is nothing, but prepared."

"I like it," she admitted gently as she balanced on his chest. "The beard just isn't you."

"Are you sure?" John wondered as he cupped her chin. He was acutely aware of the pressure of her breasts against his chest and the way her hips fit into his. Feeling the thin black cotton of his tank top as a fragile barrier between their bodies, he tried not to think about how good it felt to have her there.

"About the beard?" she teased easily, ignoring what he really wanted.

"You just fainted a second ago," he reminded her seriously. Wishing he could just give in and let her have her way with him, John held her up as he fought to be responsible. "You really want to go from that to..."

"I want you," Elizabeth answered softly, pulling the tank top up over her shoulders and tossing it gently to the floor. "Carson didn't say I couldn't make love to you."

"That's what this..." John stopped her gently, momentarily losing his ability to speak as he stared up at her perfect skin. "This is to you?" Making love was distinction he hadn't used before. Some of the women he'd known had used it, but he'd never believed them.

She just kissed him in response, drawing out the sweetness of the moment. "John," she rested on his chest, as comfortable as anyone had ever been there. "I'm sick, I'm confused, I'm absolutely overwhelmed by what's going on here, but..." she struggled against her better sense, eventually giving in to her body. "...I find you very..." her hand dragged down his chest, leaving a tingling sensation behind it. "...very attractive and I'd rather just think about that right now." Elizabeth sat up, twisting her hips as she straddled him.

He gasped and she grinned wickedly. "...okay," John sighed, suddenly shy. "I suppose I shouldn't argue...."

Elizabeth shook her head firmly as she slipped one hand beneath the hem of his boxer shorts. "It's really impolite to argue," she finished with a wink.

Without trusting himself to speak any further, he caught her face and brought her down to kiss him again. Melting his lips with hers let him forget the Replicators who wanted to kill them. Pulling her closer to his chest, he felt his body start to respond to her proximity as sweat broke on his skin.

Elizabeth rocked against him, kissing him as she ran her hands over his chest. Beneath the fine dark hair, a handful of scars nearly hid in weak light. She traced one on his side with her fingertip, curious how he'd collected all of them. What else was in his past that she knew nothing about? How had he learned to sneak his tongue through her mouth like that? Her body shivered when his tongue ran down to her nipple, chasing around it nimbly like one of his fighter pilot tricks. Down between her legs, her panties were quickly becoming damp and frustrating.

Clawing at them with a free hand, she groaned when he stopped her. Biting her lip with annoyance, Elizabeth felt strong fingers take her around the waist and slide down. As she rose up to her knees, he slipped her panties free of her butt, letting her remove them the rest of the way. They disappeared into the sleeping bag, and he teased her with a thrust of his thigh, sending a wave of pleasure through her body. Grinding against him as she came up to kiss him again, she felt his fingers pinch down around her nipples and gasped into his mouth.

John panted, writhing as her fingers discovered the elastic in his boxers and pulled down hard. Giggling as she freed his legs, Elizabeth covered him with her body; crawling up to kiss the surprise out of his face. He bit her lip as small, cool fingers teased him more erect. She bit back, smiling as she licked her way down his chest. Having her on top let him cup both of her breasts, squeezing them to her chest as the rough skin of his hands fought her nipples into points. They were hard against his skin when he pulled her back down to him. Sweat made her back slick as he urged her over his hips.

Waiting was exquisitely painful when she hesitated, studying the need in his eyes. Satisfied by what she found, Elizabeth closed her eyes; letting him slip into her body. Her moan was muffled by his neck. She rocked her hips slowly, trying to convince her body to give her some sense of control. John's fingers found her clit and worked her up until she could barely breathe without screaming. He penetrated her carefully, slower than the last time. As she moaned into his chest, he knew he'd outlast her. Elizabeth's body was already starting to tremble, shivering beneath his touch. He took his hands away from the wet nub of her clit and settled for the skin of her back. Her ribs rolled beneath his hands.

Panting with her as she sat up, John watched one curl of her hair bounce on her shoulder before catching in the sweat of her neck. He made a fist, crushing the sleeping bag beneath him into his hand. Gasping as he released the blanket, he pulled her back down. Running his hand down the softness of her stomach, he slipped it between her legs. Her breath came ragged, like sobbing in his ear. She kissed his neck, sucking the skin until she broke. His back arched him into her; his skin throbbing as she pulled away. Her scream sent him over the edge; primal hunger in her eyes devoured him as something quaked within. He burst, exploding wet and uniting them in the end.

She collapsed on his chest, breathing so quickly he almost feared she'd lose consciousness again. "You're good," she whispered as she searched for air.

He kissed her forehead, tasting the salt of her sweat. He pulled her a little closer to his chest, both proud and slightly relieved she was so contented. Having her lose consciousness in his arms wasn't something he was sure he could handle. "Well, I try..." he replied lamely. As the blissful numbness faded from his body, John wondered if she'd left a mark on his neck. The skin there still stung. He toyed with the damp hair on the back of her head. Realizing how traumatized Rodney would be by any hickey she'd left, he grinned towards the ceiling.

Elizabeth sighed heavily, finally starting to stop shaking. "I think this is going to be good for both of us," she prophesied to his chest as she traced a slow circle up towards his shoulder.

"Might be bad for my sleep," John teased gruffly as she turned up to look at him. He'd never meant to admit his feelings so bluntly. At first he'd been crushed, having her collapse into his arms wasn't very promising, but now he had hope. Hope was the smell of mingled sweat and the wetness of her on his body.

"You're going to be a parent," she reminded him, closing her eyes and sighing softly. "Sleep is going to become very rare indeed."

John squirmed slightly, moving her head to the best place on his chest. Elizabeth was draped over him, curled up so every part of her was touching him. It was deeply, strangely intoxicating. The Replicators didn't matter when he could taste her on his lips.

"Good night," he whispered to the dark head that he was sure was nearly asleep already. Elizabeth murmured something in response, but he doubted it was a word he'd recognize. He pulled up the sleeping bag with his left hand, making sure they'd stay warm through the night. Smiling towards the ceiling he decided that it was all right if she hadn't reciprocated immediately; she'd called it making love, and that, he thought giddily, would have to do for now.
~*~*~*~*~

---

"All right, that's the plan, everyone know what to do?" John double checked as he made sure his ARG was fully charged.

For her part, Elizabeth nodded, taking heart in the wash of relief that spread across his face. Her stomach twisted, either the Athosian bread she'd eaten that morning was too much, or her stomach knew better than she did how good the chances were that her team was about to leave her forever.

Carson had on his brave face. The one he reserved for life or death occasions where nothing could sway him from going. His fingers twitching as he went over and over his calculations in his mind, Rodney was barely looking at anyone.

He only nodded gruffly at Elizabeth by way of goodbye. "I hooked my laptop into the gate controls," he began quickly. "It'll recognize our IDCs and tell you who's coming back. I've set the shield to come up automatically, so you will need to be here when we get back just so we don't return from our glorious victory to get flattened out of existence..."

"...I'll be here," Elizabeth promised with as much of a smile as she could muster.

"Good," Rodney replied quietly, clinging to his gun was he waved goodbye. "See you." His feet thudded quickly against the metal stairs and he was gone.

Teyla took her shoulders and brought their foreheads together. Elizabeth fought with the tears in her eyes. Her emotional control had become so fragile in the past few days; it felt like her heart was always open. "We will be successful," the shorter woman promised so firmly Elizabeth believed her.

Ronon saluted with his ARG against his forehead as he headed up the stairs with Teyla to the jumper bay. "Want me to bring you back a handful of silver dust?" he offered with his standard neutral expression.

After a moment of silence Elizabeth realized he was joking and her smile became involuntary. "You know, I think I'd like that," she replied softly. "Kill a few for me won't you?"

Carson caught her shoulder. "Take care of yourself now," he cautioned. "No worrying yourself sick while we're away, no coffee, and remember to eat. If you get tired, sit down..."

Surprising both of them Elizabeth hugged him quickly, letting go with a bit of a shove up the stairs she smiled brilliantly at him. "You take good care of Jack and Mr. Woolsey," she insisted. "Make sure he only has good things to say about getting rescued in his report."

Carson shot a look over his shoulder, watching as John stood silently by. "We'll see you soon," he finished as he headed up the stairs with the others; the red medical kit swung over his shoulder.

"Thank you," John began from behind her, "For staying, I mean,I couldn't...I wouldn't be any use to anyone if I was..."

"Worrying about me," Elizabeth finished, finally losing the battle against the stinging tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered when he noticed them. "I just can't seem to..."

John wrapped his arms around her tightly, squeezing her to his chest. "It's okay," he promised, speaking to much more than her tears. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"I know," she replied as she wiped her face dry. "I know you'll be back, I know you have to go, I know you're the best damn team in two galaxies," Elizabeth stopped abruptly, unable to come up with the right thing to say. "I...I..."

"You don't have to," John jumped in, kissing her cheek lightly. "I know." He chuckled slightly, remembering a joke she didn't seem to get. "Ever see Star Wars? The second one where Darth Vader nearly won in the end?"

Elizabeth shook her head numbly, absolutely confused by the relevance.

"See, you're really missing out on some of the classics of American cinema. Movie night, when I get back, I'll have someone on the Daedalus pick them up from my storage locker..."

"John..." she interrupted, surprised at her own frustration. Elizabeth could feel the tears running hot down her cheeks again.

Snapping back from his thoughts, John just smiled lightly. "So Star Wars," he began as he waited with one foot on the first stair. "The girl, Princess Leia, she watches this guy, Han Solo, he's a pilot. Go to what could be his death, and it's this great scene where he's standing there, not sure what's going to happen. And she finally yells over the machines around her that she loves him..."

She couldn't bear listening. "John...I..." Elizabeth began tentatively.

"Let me finish," John begged gently. "So he stands there with this little smile and just says 'I know'. So, Princess," he leaned in and kissed her cheek once more, "I know."

Taking a few steps of the stairs, he paused. John couldn't look at her. He couldn't turn back and watch the fear in her face. "If we aren't back in two days, leave. Go to the Athosian settlement and just stay there. If the Daedalus comes, they'll know to look there."

"You're coming back," Elizabeth insisted fervently. Running up the steps to him, she caught his arm and pulled him back. "You are coming back."

"Two days," John repeated as he painfully turned to face her. "Then go to Teyla's people, they're good people and you won't be alone there. Promise me you won't stay here alone."

"Promise me I won't have to," Elizabeth turned it back on him, pulling him down to kiss the promise into his soul. "You'll come back," she whispered into his neck and she squeezed him tightly into a hug.

"You'll be here," he promised himself, burning the image of her eyes into his memory.

Elizabeth felt the sound of his feet on the stairs as he headed away, each thump resonating through her body like coffin nails being closed down around her. Staring down at the screen of Rodney's laptop did little to distract her from the sound of the jumper bay opening into the gate room a few minutes later. Leaving the desk, she stood on the edge of the balcony, watching as the faces of her team passed by on the way to the gate.

Rodney's jumper dropped into the gate room first. Ronon and Teyla sat stalwartly behind Rodney, ready and unafraid of what waited for them. He met her eyes quickly before taking his jumper through the rippling surface of the gate.

A few moments later, Carson waved from the passenger seat of the second jumper as it dropped into the room. John just watched her, quietly composed behind his controls. He said nothing, didn't move and kept his eyes locked on hers until he was gone.

The blue surface rippled for a moment before going out with a whoosh. When the gate was still it was unnervingly quiet. Wrapping her arms protectively over her chest, Elizabeth tried to come up with something to occupy her mind. The jumpers were out, but they had a long way to go. The Asurans had run through their database, pulled out every address with mention of the Ancients. Rodney was certain they were searching M4A-661; a planet they had written off as a lifeless ball of rock that must have meant something to the Asurans.

Leaving the control panel, Elizabeth picked up the tool kit in one hand and the lantern in the other. Maybe she could get the database working, she thought to herself. The library computers weren't too far from the power room and it would be easier to pass the time if her hands were busy.
~*~*~*~

---

"I'd sleep, but I'm too nervous to sleep. Was too nervous to sleep last night too, probably get myself killed..." Carson mumbled to himself as the Replicator ship inched closer on the screen. "Are you sure they can't see us?"

John maneuvered quickly, checking his display to make sure Rodney was still behind him. "They can't see us, we haven't run into a single race that can defeat Ancient cloaking devices," he assured the other man gently. "Of course," he paused, furrowing his eyebrows in thought, "They did manage to beat the Ancients and take Atlantis."

"You're really not helping," Carson moaned as he watched the battleship come into focus against the gray surface of the planet. "We're all going to die."

"No, we're not," John corrected firmly as he watched Rodney's jumper slip into position. "If they could see us, they'd have destroyed us by now." He shrugged quickly, adding; "But, as you can see, we haven't been, so we must be all right." He stared at his hands, wondering what Elizabeth was doing. His watch said they'd already been gone nine hours. Was she sleeping? Could she sleep? "Besides, I kinda promised someone we'd come back," he said as he smiled grimly. "We'll be fine."

"Aye, I hope you're right," Carson replied as his adrenaline started to close off his fear. "For all our sakes."

The jumper whirled past the battleship, taking over a minute to cross all of it. Below them the metal skin of the Asuran vessel bristled with weaponry. John whistled softly, "Sometimes you're glad you don't have to fight the bad guys fairly," he explained with a twist of his head towards Carson. Settling the jumper behind the blue-white engines of the battleship, he tapped the radio, "McKay, we're ready over here. How about you?"

Rodney's voice quavered slightly, but he was determined. "We're ready; I just need a moment to charge the capacitor."

"Ready when you are then, Doctor," John leaned back from the controls just long enough to snap the tension out of his back. Stretching his fingers nervously, he waited.

"You know, you only bring up my degree when you need me to save your ass, Sheppard," Rodney complained cheerfully over the radio. "We're charged."

"All right, on three, everyone hang on," John nodded as Carson took the arms of the chair in a death grip. "One...two...three-"
~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth crawled out of the floor in the library and yawned against her exhaustion. The timer on her watch beeped past the nine hour mark. They should have reached the Asurans by now. How long would it take to get into position and then fire the weapon? Had they already succeeded? Her stomach twisted uncomfortably and she closed her eyes. Adding nausea to her headache made the time slither by even slower than it was already.

Carson's voice nagged in the back of her mind, telling her that she was pushing too hard. One last crystal in the center of the base should activate the interface pillar, she thought to herself as she forced her stomach to quiet. When it didn't work immediately, she surprised herself by kicking the base.

"Sorry," she stuttered to the ghosts of the Ancients in the empty room. "I just really need this to work..." she trailed off, holding her head in her hands as she tried to push the headache out. Placing her hands on the pedestal, Elizabeth concentrated on the database. Something hummed vaguely and she kicked it again. Immediately the holographic interface snapped to life.

"Please make your inquiry," the hologram stated with polite interest.

"That's better," Elizabeth purred to the computers in the floor. "Can you tell me about a planet called 'Ceol'?"

"Ceol is the sixth planet in a group of eleven," the hologram began in a smooth monotone. "It is inhabited by a small group of human settlers. The days are twenty-seven hours long. The seasons are similar to those of Earth or Altera, with a year lasting four hundred-fifty-six days. Most of the settlements are in a belt around the temperate zone of the equator..."

"...thank you," Elizabeth interrupted firmly. Rubbing her temples with annoyance, she rephrased her question. "Can you tell me about the people of Ceol?" She winced under the light from the hologram, wondering if there was a way to turn the brightness down. Giving up, she lowered her head to her hand and shut her eyes.

"The people of Ceol have a notably high birth rate and a remarkable incidence of favorable genetics," the hologram informed her pleasantly. "Incidence of the gene known as LK476 is at ninety-nine percent."

Elizabeth's head snapped upwards. "LK476 gene?" she asked suddenly. Her headache faded slightly as her curiosity spiked.

"LK476 is known colloquially as the 'Lantian key gene' and is the gene responsible for the ability to activate certain technologies," the hologram explained calmly. "It was created over eleven thousand years ago by a team of geneticists here in Atlantis," the hologram paused and smiled.

Elizabeth shook her head slowly, trying to reconcile what she'd seen. The hologram did not smile. The hologram was devoid of any facial expressions besides patient understanding. She closed her eyes, rubbing them until sparks appeared on her retina. The hologram was still there. Waiting for her input. Deciding she was just overly tired, she asked the question again.

"Who created the gene LK476?" she asked with a sigh of exasperation at her own frailty. Staring down at her feet, Elizabeth wondered if anyone else had noticed that her breasts were larger and heavier than they'd been.

"I did," said a rasping, and completely alien female voice from the other side of the room.

"Fire-" Rodney ordered into the radio.

John hit the control next to his left hand and waited. The background hum of Rodney's device jumped in volume until it rattled his body. His teeth chattered together as the whole ship became a vibrating ball of light. The blue-white light crept up his arms, enveloping his body in a thousand tiny pin-pricks. He saw the light erupt outward, surrounding the alien vessel in an envelope of light. It pulsed back and forth like an amoeba about to devour something.

The crackling turned into a roaring in his ears and then with a pop everything was silent. The Replicator vessel hung dead in space.

"I think it worked," Rodney shouted excitedly into his radio. "I'm not picking up anything on the motion sensors and everything still on in the vessel seems to be running autonomously."

"Carson and I will land in the forward fighter bay, you, Teyla and Ronon take the rear," John coordinated as he shook the tingles out of his hands. "We'll meet in the middle and get our people back."

"Roger that," Rodney replied as he shut off the radio.

John turned to Carson, grinning as the other man ran his hands nervously over his body.

"Feels like a thousand wee bugs have been tap-dancing on my body," Carson complained as he shuddered in disgust. "Do you think we got the buggers?"

"Rodney thinks so," John responded as he turned the ship over to better approach the landing bay. "I guess we won't know until we land this ship and take a look around."

"Isn't it a wee bit creepy?" Carson wondered as he clutched his ARG a little tighter. "Wandering around on a ship full of dead Replicators, who didn't even know we were coming to blast 'em out of the sky."

"They did want to kill us first," John argued with a half smile. "And you saw what just one of the bastards did to Elizabeth. Can you imagine what a whole ship of them would do to Earth in their crazy search for the Ancients?"

Carson saw through his facade, cutting right to the heart of John's anger. "She's going to be all right John," he insisted as he double checked his battle-scarred medical kit. "She'll be sitting there, wearing out solitaire on Rodney's computer until we get back. It was good to make her stay in Atlantis."

"Yeah, I just couldn't..." John twisted the jumper in a long slow arc, pulling it into the empty landing bay. "Please keep your hands and legs inside the jumper until we come to a complete stop.

The Asuran attention to detail had left the docking system entirely automated, just like those of Atlantis. John pulled his hands back and let the jumper slide into place. He grabbed his ARG and left his seat, keeping Carson behind him as he opened the door. The hatch hissed into the bay, meeting the air of the ship.

John coughed as he searched the bay. The air was stale, as if no one had breathed it for a thousand years. He realized after a moment that no one had, because aside from the recent influx of human prisoners, this ship had been devoid of breathing life.

"Where do we go?" Carson wondered as he looked back and forth down the hallway outside the bay. "It all looks the same to me."

John gestured down at the life-signs detector in his hand. "Other than you and me, who else is alive on this ship?" he asked in a combat whisper. The brilliant silver corridor of the ship extended endlessly in either direction and took his voice along with it.

"Good point," Carson whispered back as he peered down the glimmering walls.

"Come on," John said, waving to the left with the life signs detector. "They're this way."
~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth's head shot up, moving so quickly it took her a moment to focus again. Instead of the bland hologram in her neat beige and tan robe, a short elderly woman stood in the center of the room.

"Startled you, didn't I?" she said, idly twirling a grey-black curl of hair around her finger. "I thought about just taking over perfect little Melia here," she commented as she shut off the hologram with a blink of her eyes. "You seemed up to the task of dealing with me, Dearie." Her long hair fell nearly to her waist in a mass of unruly curls. Her dress was a mass of layers of red and purple velvet, complete with a long cloak that lay on the floor behind her in a train.

Creeping lazily from the center of the room, she studied Elizabeth with an appraising eye. "From your genetic code I thought you'd be taller," she remarked lightly.

"How would you know?" Elizabeth demanded instinctually before taking the time to pull herself together. "Who are you and what are you doing in my city?" she asked more professionally, wishing she'd brought the pistol from her vest with her after all.

"My people called me Mauve; the natives of Ceol call me their Queen Mab. Either suits me," she brushed off Elizabeth's hostility with a predatory smile. "It's lonely here, without them, isn't it?"

"What do you want?" Elizabeth pressed with more rage than she thought she had left.

"To check on my creation..." she answered cryptically, waving her hand across Elizabeth's body as she gnarled her fingers. "I thought you'd have questions by now." The queen studied her black nails thoughtfully as she turned to the door. "Walk with me; you're getting anxious about that computer and the rest of your people. You'll pay more attention if it's there in front of you."

"Why should I?" Elizabeth said, folding her arms over her chest defiantly. "Give me one good reason to come with you or even believe anything that you say?"

The queen's eyes flashed to orange-red, the deep color like the heart of a flame, and Elizabeth felt the pain blossom beneath her stomach. It lanced through her, shooting fire across her hips. Falling to her knees and gasping for breath, she was unable to speak when it ended. Fading as quickly as it began, it left her fighting to regain her breath.

"Because I can take what I've given," the queen lisped maliciously. "Now, the control room, if you wouldn't mind."
~*~*~*~

---

John hit the door with his shoulder, shoving against the stubborn door mechanism. Carson fired his ARG blindly into the wires and surprisingly the door gave way. Tumbling into the room, John regained his footing in a mass of bodies. As far as he could see, the bodies of the Ancients they'd regained from the void between galaxies on the battleship Tria were lined in a neat row along the wall. Each body was incased in a protective film that clung to it like a second skin.

Carson followed him in, the pleasure on his face faded away when he saw the bodies. "My God," he whispered softly. "Who did this?"

"Angry children," John replied as he felt the weight of the room settle over him like a shroud. His feet echoed in the stillness, there was no smell of death, just the stale smell of dust. Somewhere in this mess, his life signs detector promised someone still lived.

Walking reverently along the bodies Carson kept track of the signs he noticed in his head. "They all bled from the eyes and ears," he called down to John as he knelt to look closer. "This film seems to be arresting all signs of decay. I couldn't tell you if they've been dead for minutes or years. From what we know of the Replicators, I'd guess they were probed until their minds couldn't take it anymore."

"How many are there?" John wondered aloud as he started to count them up in his mind.

"One hundred and four," an exhausted voice explained from the far corner. "They started by killing a few outright, for sport. They started with the lowest ranked and moved their way up."

John and Carson ran to the voice, finding Mr. Woolsey curled around his knees in the corner of the morgue.

"I got lucky," he informed them as he stared past them with haunted eyes. "I don't know anything about the Ancients, not comparatively. They were only in my head a few times, but Jack..." he faded out, unable to keep speaking.

"Where is General O'Neill?" John pushed as firmly as he dared. Just putting his hand on the man's shoulder made him jump away in fear. Carson took over, opening the med kit and beginning an initial exam.

"They took him," Woolsey babbled weakly. "They took him to the bridge, something about the planet..." he stopped speaking when coughing made it too difficult to form the words.

Standing up to whisper into John's ear, Carson shook his head in disgust. "He's malnourished, dehydrated, probably has a lung infection. Let me take him back to the jumper and wait for you."

John tapped his radio as he nodded to Carson. "Rodney, Teyla, Ronon, we've found Woolsey and I'm headed to the bridge," he said, leaning down to help Carson drag the other man to his feet. "Think you can make your way there?"

Woolsey's legs were shaky, and his arm felt like a stick inside the disturbingly clean fabric out of his suit. Carson wrapped his feeble arm and his neck and started slowly down the line of bodies. Nothing moved, not even the preserved hair on the victims.

"We'll be there," Ronon's gruff voice promised over the radio.

Reaching down to the first body, John recognized the insignia of the first officer from his time on the Aurora. The man was dead peacefully, eyes closed with two trails of blood leading down his face. The blood was still red beneath the clear film. It even seemed wet. A thin gold chain ran around the man's neck; John reached for it and wondered how he'd pull it out of the film.

His fingers slid easily into the film as if it wasn't even there. He tried not to think about what kind of nanotechnology had created it, grabbed the chain and pulled it. As he expected, two tiny crystals hung from the chain. John removed one, setting it on the man's neck. It sank beneath the film, resting there in the hollow of his dead throat. He moved to the next body, ripping off the necklace and leaving on crystal behind.

He tried to look at each face, reminding himself that these were his brothers and sisters in arms, even if they had removed him from his home. They had wanted what he wanted, a home and a life in the Pegasus galaxy. After a few they blended together, peaceful and proud in an endless parade of strength and nobility. John kept going, crouching by each until his knees hurt from the effort. He didn't know how long it was taking him, wasn't sure if Ronon's team had reached the bridge yet. He owed it to these people.

His radio crackled in his ear, "We've taken the bridge," Ronon announced with a hint of disappointment. "It's deserted as well."

"They were tracking something on the planet," Rodney added over the radio. "It looks like the captain and a few others took the Lantian captain and General O'Neill down to the planet. There seems to be some kind of research base there."

"They must have at least one jumper after all," Ronon chimed in. "That or a transport system we haven't seen yet."

"Their technology seems to be entirely based on that of the Ancients," Teyla pointed out. "I doubt they have such a device."

"Woolsey was in rough shape," John said as he tucked yet another crystal into his vest pocket. "Carson took him to my jumper. I'm in the brig...morgue," he corrected himself, "I could use a hand."

"We shall assist you," Teyla assured him with her usual calm.

"Colonel, I'd like to stay here, see if I can..." Rodney began to ask.

John chuckled in spite of himself, "...very good Rodney," he answered. "See if you can steal the ship. We could use something as heavily armed as this."

"Think of it as an early Christmas gift," Rodney offered dryly. "McKay out."

He'd moved down six more bodies when Ronon and Teyla arrived to help him. Neither of them said anything as they settled to the task of marking the dead. Between the three of them, the silent understanding remained.

"Who does such a thing?" Teyla asked finally when her sense of honor was too offended to remain silent.

"Machines," Ronon answered simply. "Machines without conscience, without honor."

"We're doing the same thing to them," John pointed out as he stood and moved to the next body. "We fly out of the sky and blast thing with energy that kills them without warning or recourse."

"We should make sure we do it first," Ronon added as he ripped a chain free. "We at least know what it is to fight with honor. These prisoners were slaughtered in their own minds."

John felt the shiver of disgust run cold up his back. "I know," he agreed weakly, feeling his voice echo through the room. "We'll get them."

"Rodney believes it will be easy to take this vessel," Teyla explained as she stood from the last body. "He has already gotten into the computer system."

John double checked his ARG and the life signs detector. When he was satisfied no one else remained he nodded. "We'll let him take it; we still have people to save."
~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth felt the queen's presence behind her as a palpable heat. As if the queen's body produced the same effect as a torch being held up behind her back. "What do you want in the control room?"

"You want to be in the control room," Mab corrected with erie calm. "You'll stop worrying about your team and your lover and finally be able to have a serious conversation."

Whirling around to glare at the other woman, Elizabeth felt her anger boil. "I am perfectly capable..."

Mab twisted her fingers and the pain lanced through her again. Shooting through her belly like a knife being dragged upwards through the flesh. Clinging to the wall let her remain upright, but barely.

"Stop arguing my dear Elizabeth and do as you are told," Mab suggested with deep malice in her voice. "Haven't you learned enough to listen to your betters?"

Resentment pushed the pain out of her mind, if only for a moment. "You are not..." Elizabeth began to protest, but lost the will as the agony within her doubled.

"I'm really not sure how much damage you can take," Mab admitted with a tilt of her head. "Perhaps we shouldn't test your body's ability to maintain the fetus. I'd hate to lose all your progress."

"My progress?" Elizabeth gasped out when the pain receded again. "What progress?"

Mab advanced on her instantly, seemingly without moving at all. One of Elizabeth's hands flew back against the dark wall of the city and the other was flattened against her stomach. She couldn't move as the other woman stalked her.

One wizened finger ran across her cheek, leaving a trail of heat behind. "Should I show you?" Mab pressed wickedly. "Remind you that the creature you fear is nothing more than the fusion of your DNA with your new lover's? Help you understand that the thing within you that you can barely acknowledge is nothing more than you and your darling John."

She released Elizabeth, letting her slump against the wall. Cold sweat sank into her uniform and the headache she'd been fighting demanded more of her attention. "The best parts of you, of course," she smiled, revealing perfect white teeth as she swept past Elizabeth on her way to the control room. "Now aren't you coming?"

Elizabeth swallowed, holding the soreness left in her stomach with her left hand. She had to go along, at least until she found out what this woman wanted. Dragging herself away from the wall, she prayed nothing that had been done to her was leaving any permanent damage. The queen hurried along, guiding her through the dark corridors of the city at a frantic pace. Elizabeth couldn't keep up and the queen whirled on her, glaring her impatience.

Elizabeth pulled herself up to her full height and glared right back. "You can rush me all you want, but unless you want me to lose this baby, you're not going to get anywhere without waiting for me."

"There's that fire I was looking for," The queen remarked over her shoulder as she turned around and waited for Elizabeth to catch up. "You're going to need that to defeat the Wraith."

"I am?" Elizabeth snapped back. "I think that's the most useful thing you've said."

Queen Mab only smiled as she fell in step with Elizabeth. "Very good," her eyes danced in her head. "Hating me could be good for you."

"If you're not going to leave," Elizabeth gritted her teeth and tried to reconcile what was happening to her. "You could at least tell me what you are."

"I was what you, until recently, so adorably worshiped as 'Ancients'," as she spoke she altered her appearance, leaving behind her velvets for the simpler robe of a Lantian scientist. Her hair left the tangled mass on her shoulders and became a neat bun on top of her head. "I was head researcher in one of the genetics labs."

"You're ascended," Elizabeth realized harshly. "But not..." she thought aloud, "Ascended beings don't torture others."

"Is it really torture?" Mab twisted the thought. "You still can't decide if you want to be carrying this child. The very idea that it could be something I did to you makes you even more apprehensive." She stopped walking and turned to the other woman with a kind smile. "Perhaps you'd like to see what happened? What you can't remember?"

Elizabeth was too tired for games. Taking the queen's shoulder she turned her around roughly and stared into her disturbingly black eyes. "Show me," she demanded. The hallway disappeared in a flash of fire. Then she was watching herself.

Herself of nine weeks ago laughed and tumbled into a bedroom with John back in the simple Great Hall of Ceol. The same bedroom she'd woken up in back when her strange journey began. She watched herself kiss him once, blushing as she did. The affection in the way John watched her was the same warmth she remembered but she hadn't seen the way she looked at him. The pure abandonment that she stared at him with as she led him to the bed, was shocking. The past version of herself pulled him down and wrapped her hands around his back.

In the vision John started to kiss her back, but then there was a flash of light. Both of them slumped unconscious to the bed, still tangled together. Light descended on them both, obscuring them from view. When the flame-kissed light faded, their clothes were in a pile on the two wooden chairs and they lay there, naked and intwined together.

They hadn't made love. No matter what they thought, the child inside of her had been created by someone else; this creature made of fire. Elizabeth jolted herself out of the vision, staggering back as it hit her. "You're not part of the Ancients. They'd never allow you to tamper with humans like that..."

Queen Mab began to laugh, throwing back her head and shaking with amusement. "What do you think they can do?" she stammered out through her laughter. "I'm the only one of them who wants to see the mistake destroyed. The rest of the so-called Ancients will just sit around and wait for your kind to stumble onto ascension as they did. They'll never help you, and if you fail, the Wraith will descend on Earth and feed. Then no one will be left to achieve their precious ascension."
~*~*~*~

---

The jumper had landed beneath the surface of the planet. The Replicator scout ship sat just inside a Lantian landing bay. John put down next to it, watching the display as it brought up a partial map of the structure. "It looks like one of the Ancient outposts," John said as he studied the display. "Wasn't in our database."

"Neither were the Asurans," Ronon added as he jumped up towards the hatch. "Ready to go?"

Teyla nodded and readied her weapon. "Yes," she agreed as she turned to John.

Deactivating the jumper, John left his chair and met them in the back. "Okay, let's take them."

After they opened the hatch it was quick. Ronon took point, heading down the stone tunnels towards the base. Two Replicators fell to his ARG, and a third patrol fell to Teyla's. John hung back, making sure no one cut off their escape. Staring down at the detector, he gestured down the left hand tunnel.

"Eight," he mouthed soundlessly. Ronon nodded and gestured with three of his fingers. Teyla followed his hand and took position at the door controls. At her nod the heavy metal doors flew open, John tossed his flash grenade. Screwing his eyes shut against the light, he followed the black shape of Ronon's back. A handful of well-placed shots took out the guards.

Two more important looking Replicators stood in the center, surrounding a throne chair with the female captain, Helia, in it. Both of their hands were in her head and the screams that cut through the blasts of the ARG's weren't even human anymore. The sound cut into John's soul, like listening to an animal let go of the last of its life.

General O'Neill lay slumped on the floor. When the Replicators released Helia, one of them turned on him, but Teyla got in the way. Blocking the stabbing arm with her body she fired, dispatching the Replicator into a silver mist. His hand had penetrated into her shoulder, blood oozed slowly from the wound, leaving a brilliant trail of crimson on her purple shirt.

The second Replicator lunged towards John, moving so quickly he seemed to teleport from Helia to him. He ducked, taking a blow on his back that might have killed him if it had hit anywhere else. Hitting the ground so hard the wind rushed out of his chest, he tried not to think about the stars blocking his vision. He rolled, coming up as he fired. The Replicator burst into a shower of silver that stung his eyes as it fell over him.

The screaming had stopped. Ronon finished off the last guard. Tucking his ARG into the holster, he pulled a square of cloth from his vest and shoved it against Teyla's shoulder. Pressing it down hard with his hands, he looked over the two prisoners.

Helia's eyes were opened but they stared vacantly at the ceiling. On the floor, General O'Neill coughed and sat up next to John.

"Took you long enough," he complained as he leaned against the chair.

"You're welcome, Sir," John replied with a wincing smile. He started to stand up, but stopped. "Ow..." he muttered to himself, rotating his shoulder back slowly.

"All right?" Ronon asked as Teyla took over putting pressure on her shoulder.

"I think it's going to be a hell of a bruise," John winced again and turned to Teyla as he finished struggling to his feet. "You?"

"I am sure Doctor Beckett will be able to repair it," Teyla said sincerely as she looked down at her arm. "It appears to look much worse than it is." Even with her assurances, her face was pale and he could smell the blood on the floor.

John nodded, Teyla was tough and she'd pull through worse. He reached down to the general, dragging the older man to his feet. Jack got up slowly, leaning on his rescuer for support. John's shirt collar pulled down as he tugged, revealing the deep red mark Elizabeth had left on his neck.

Jack squinted at it, wondering if his eyes were working enough to see what he thought he saw. "You've been having a good time, haven't you?" he teased before shaking with a cough that rattled his entire body. Like Woolsey he was dangerously thin and his eyes were sunken back into his head.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I don't know what you mean," John replied as he narrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Jack poked at his neck with a feeble hand. "Got a little love bite here," he said through a smirk. "Wonder who that's from..."

John blushed involuntarily, feeling the blood pool hot in his face. He said nothing and started dragging the general over to the door.

Ronon bent down over the Lantian captain. "She has a pulse," he reported to the rest of them. Waving his hand over her face, he got no response. Her eyes continued to stare straight ahead, like marbles set in her face. "Doesn't seem to have much else," he added, slipping an arm beneath her and scooping her up.

"Take her back to the jumper," John ordered as he navigated around the chair.

"ZPM!" Jack shouted gruffly, drawing John to a halt. "There's a ZPM in the..." he trailed off again, wincing from some unseen injury. "...in the base...thing," he finished weakly.

"Teyla?" John hinted as he started to walk again. Teyla nodded, kneeling on the base of the chair and searching with her good hand for the release. "She'll get it," he promised as he started down the long stone hallway. "Replicators were nice enough to leave the city with three." He stopped, shifting the general's extra weight away from his badly bruised shoulder.

"Three?" Jack echoed, "Nice."

"It was," John said as he turned back to check for Teyla. "Then Rodney broke the city."

"The city?" Jack repeated with awe. "He broke the whole city?"

"Took us two weeks just to fix the gate," John explained with relief as Teyla emerged from the doors.

"Without the ZPM the life support system will not remain long," Teyla informed them as she caught up at a jog, darkened ZPM in her strong hand.

"Didn't want to stick around anyway," Jack muttered softly as he tried to keep up with the colonel. "Terrible view, lousy service. I'm going to have to tell Carter about Rodney breaking the city. She'll probably bust a rib laughing."

John helped drop the older man into one of the seats in the jumper. Teyla sat in back, next to Ronon and the catatonic Ancient. Her shoulder had started to bleed again; Ronon sandwiched it between his huge hands and nodded up to John.

"Get us out of here," Jack suggested with a wry smile. "You got what you came for."

"Yes, Sir," John replied, dropping into the pilot's seat and bringing the jumper to life. "With pleasure."
~*~*~*~

---

"What do you think, Elizabeth?" Mab crouched in front of her, watching her with an oddly sympathetic expression. "Are you sure you don't want all of this to go away? Good riddance to being nauseated, dizzy, and exhausted. You can go back to drinking coffee all night and staying up worrying about your city."

Elizabeth tried to stand up, but stopped halfway; curling up around her stomach and praying it was all a bad dream. She didn't know how she'd made it to the gate room, or why she was kneeling on the floor, but the desperate pain in her stomach blocked most of her thoughts. "That's not what I want..." she started, choking on her agony.

"Isn't it though?" Mab pressed, grabbing her chin and tilting it up so Elizabeth had to look into her black, empty eyes. "You just want things to go back the way they were. So you can slip behind the facade of Doctor Weir and never feel anything again." The queen rose to her feet, dropping the other woman's chin and staring down at Elizabeth's crumpled form on the floor. "I can make it all go away," she whispered seductively. "I can take the child from you and send it to a woman on Ceol. She'll never question her blessing."

"No..." Elizabeth gasped into the floor, before she had the strength to lift her head. Pain still came from her stomach in waves, rising and falling with the queen's mood. Sweat ran down her arms, leaving damp hand-prints on the cool metal floor of the city. "You can't."

"It's not like you want it," Mab intoned as she toyed with a line of fire in the air. "You surged with disgust when I showed you how your child came into being. I felt your hatred. Your sense of violation when you knew it wasn't that handsome Colonel Sheppard who planted it within you." She caught Elizabeth's shoulders suddenly and dragged her to her feet.

Crying out in surprise, Elizabeth sagged in her grasp. "I don't care!" she shouted defiantly. "John doesn't care. He loves..."

"...you." Mab finished as she smoothed a damp lock of Elizabeth's hair back from her face.

Cringing, Elizabeth tried to pull away, biting her lip against the pain she suddenly couldn't escape. "He loves the child," she whispered with all of her unspent rage. "I'm not going to be the one to take it from him!" her sudden strength surprised her as she broke free of Mab's grip. "Do whatever you want to me," she challenged wildly. "I'm going to keep this baby."

Mab's smile grew like a shadow across the sun. "I'll see you again," she promised as she took a step back. Her body faded, losing the image of the Ancient scientist into a ball of burning orange-white light. "You'll have to come visit me," she suggested in her rasping tone. "We'll have so much to talk about."

The light turned, leaving Elizabeth on the floor of the control room as it went to the gate. Dialing with only the power of her mind, the light waited only a moment before disappearing into the rippling surface of the gate.

It wasn't until the gate evaporated that Elizabeth started to sob in relief. The pain had left with the queen, leaving her shaken and drenched with sweat. She took a halting step towards the stairs. She could put up the shield from Rodney's laptop. She had no idea how useful it would be against an ascended being, but it was something she could do. Something she could touch and try to feel safe. Half-crawling up the stairs, Elizabeth made it up to the control panel. She slapped the shield control and collapsed into the chair.

Laying her throbbing head down on her arms, she meant to only close her eyes for a second. She'd been awake too long and fighting with Ancient-impersonating-demons wasn't helping her exhaustion. Elizabeth felt herself start to fade, beginning to lose consciousness. For some reason her memory flashed to the briefing she'd had on the Ori. She remembered Daniel Jackson explaining the utter contempt with which the Ori consider humanity.

Pulling her up again with great effort, she remembered that Rodney's computer could access the database. Without the patronizing hologram she might be able to get more from the database and stay under the radar of the queen. After all, it was the second time she'd seen the hologram do something that involved an ascended being. Maybe there was something wrong with that room.

Rodney's computer obediently logged into the Ancient database; even provided her with a self-designed search window. Reminding herself to thank him for being so incredibly thorough, she started searching. Keeping busy on the computer kept her from thinking about the headache that had taken up permanent residence in the back of her skull. Digging around the feet of her chair for the canteen of water with shaking hands, Elizabeth couldn't banish the feeling something was wrong with her.

Swallowing the water slowly, she hoped her stomach would let her keep it down. Her database query returned a mass of data; including lab reports signed by a geneticist named Mauve, crew manifests from missions she must have attended, and a 'missing-presumed-dead' note from over ten thousand years ago. Elizabeth picked the death record, calling it to the front of her screen.

Instead of the ease of the holographic interface, she had to wade through the record in the original Ancient. Wishing she'd thought to bring her computer from Earth, Elizabeth settled down to try and translate it by hand. When she didn't throw up, she grew brave enough to drink more of her water. As she tried to ignore the strange taste in her mouth, she managed to read the record.

The creature now calling herself Queen Mab had indeed once been an Ancient scientist. She had been on a top-secret mission attempting to use a viral weapon of her own design against the Wraith when she, along with her vessel, had disappeared. The vessel had been presumed destroyed and the loss of the scientists onboard a loss for all of Atlantis.

The lab reports would have been a mess even if she had gotten them in English. As she leaned on the desk, rubbing her temples and her forehead in a poor attempt to deal with her growing headache; Elizabeth remembered why she'd hated biology in school. However, in between the passages of indecipherable scientific data, Mauve's personal notes were disturbingly fascinating.

Yawning into her hand, Elizabeth propped up her head and kept reading. Mauve had been exhaustedly dedicated to mapping and improving the human genome. Her early reports were fairly positive; she had successfully eliminated a genetic defect that led to deadly allergic reactions in the population of one planet and managed to wipe out a plague on another. After a while her reports took on an uglier tone. Mauve lost compassion for her human subjects; occasionally blaming them for not responding to her tampering as she wished.

Elizabeth turned her head away, letting her eyes relax for a long moment. She had little experience diagnosing mental illness, but years of experience with megalomaniac dictators let her know what the warning signs were. Getting up out of the chair to stretch her legs, she put both hands on the small of her back as she tried to straighten the dull ache out of it.

Staring at her watch only made her more impatient, somehow, without her noticing another six hours had passed. Her watch said it was four in the morning. It was so hard to tell the time of day under the water because it was always blue and dark, no matter the weather or the time of day.

The Carson in her head said she should sleep. The John within shouted that she hadn't had enough to eat. He even suggested that the entire experience had been a hallucination. Her way of reconciling her fears of her body.

Elizabeth shook them both away, pulling her chair back to the desk and Rodney's computer. Her encounter, hallucination or not, had left her too vulnerable for sleep. The very idea of closing her eyes in the darkness made her chest tighten. She promised herself she'd eat what Teyla had left out for her of the Athosian rations, but only once she was sure she'd keep it down. Wouldn't make much sense to throw it up, she rationalized it to herself as she forced her eyes to concentrate on the Ancient data. Something in the database would tell her about the LK476 and her new adversary. Even if it didn't, it kept her from dwelling on the loneliness of the empty city.

"Can you run it or not, Rodney?" John pressed as he tapped his fingers impatiently on the console.

"Give me a break," Rodney snapped back. "This isn't like I'm hot-wiring a car. This is a battleship, it's not easy! Having you hound me every second of the last two hours really isn't helping!"

Ronon stood back from them both, smiling in slight amusement. "I'll stay with McKay. Make sure he stays on task. Leave us all the food you've got, and we'll see you in a couple of days."

"You're sure?" John started towards the exit of the bridge, ARG in hand. "I hate to..."

"Oh get out of here," Rodney waved impatiently as he rolled his eyes. "Go see her so you can stop worrying and driving me crazy. I have things to do."

"I'll bring up all the food Carson and Teyla have before we go," John promised as he started to run down the hallway towards the landing bay.

Rodney turned back to the console, shaking off his frustration as he dove into the computer code.

"Thought he'd never leave..." Ronon said under his breath as he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"He is kind of a ball of nerves lately, isn't he?" Rodney complained as he opened on the panels beneath the console.

"Having a child can change a man," Ronon said, shrugging quietly. "My best friend went through a similar transition. One day he was happy, carefree, then..." he waved lazily towards the direction Sheppard had left. "It doesn't get better," he promised Rodney darkly.

"Ah, well, better him than me I suppose," Rodney said absently, digging through until he found the line of cable he wanted. Plugging it into another conduit, he smiled at the console. "Now let's talk," he whispered to it seductively.

"Wake me up when you're done," Ronon suggested as he slid down to the floor and got comfortable.

"Uh-huh," Rodney replied without listening as he disappeared into his work. Ronon smirked slightly in response before settling back.
~*~*~*~

---

The jumper could barely land fast enough. He'd punched in his IDC, waited for the response and everything else was a blur. She hadn't been in the control room, he'd been watching too closely for the black silhouette that was her to have missed her.

"Little rushed to get home, Colonel?" Jack teased him as he sat up a little in his chair as the co-pilot.

John relaxed into back into his own chair as best he could. The display on the screen showed only the familiar, pleasant readings of Atlantis. "Well," he looked across to the general and then quickly back to the display. "I just, I made her stay..."

"Ah," Jack snorted with amusement. "No one can really safely stay in a big, underwater, shielded city..." he faded off, grinning to himself in spite of his exhaustion. "She's probably in grave danger." He reached over, patting John's hand with his own thin one. "I'll be happy to see Doctor Weir too, as well as eat at least three servings of whatever you call food."

John smiled slightly as he left his seat. "We really lucked out there, Teyla and Ronon brought us some stuff from the Athosians, way, way better than MREs," he promised as his smile grew. "Rodney doesn't think so, but you shouldn't believe him.

Carson met John at the hatch. "Woolsey and the general might be able to make it on their own if you and Elizabeth can give them a hand. I can carry the captain; she really doesn't weigh much of anything."

John nodded idly, but all of his attention was on the slowly opening hatch. She was there. She'd have to be, because no force in Pegasus would have kept him away. She had her back to the jumper for some reason, and he could watch her jolt, startled by the sound as the door headed towards the floor. She turned around, finally, but to him it seemed to happen in slow motion.

His heart was beating faster than it had when he was fighting the Replicators. John forced himself not to jog down the ramp.

When his IDC had come through, her heart had skipped; pounding all the more painfully when it began again. Was it possible to feel so much that everything canceled itself out? Could she be so overwhelmed by one person? Elizabeth had closed her eyes and turned away from the hatch of the jumper. She smiled ironically, wishing she knew if she could blame John or being pregnant for the butterflies in her stomach.

Her head was still foggy, and closing her eyes had only reminded her how tired they were. Rubbing at her eye sockets, she wished vainly her body would pick one thing to nag her about. Straightening her back didn't help the ache as it had a few hours ago and she wondered if she was just that tired. Elizabeth heard the hatch connect with the floor with a deep, metallic thud.

Turning around, she started to smile, promising herself that they'd figure it out. The world had fallen apart around them before and John had always-

"Miss me?" he asked simply, carrying so much more in the question than she would have ever thought possible.

Elizabeth tried to bury her response in her throat, but she made a noise somewhere between a sob and a giggle. "A little," she lied, uncomfortably wrapping her arms around her stomach. "Did you get our people back?"

Jack stumbled down the ramp on his own, stubbornly refusing Carson's help. "Would you just kiss her already?" he grumbled as he sank to the floor of the bay.

Elizabeth caught herself making the choked noise again and covered her mouth with her hand. "Welcome back, General," she managed to get out as the blush ran rampant over her skin.

Jack just grunted as he spread himself out on the floor. "I don't mean to be rude; I just hope it's occurred to the two of you how short life is." He threw out his arms, and stared at the impossibly high ceiling. "This is a beautiful city. Just look at that architecture..." he sighed with contentment. "I'm getting too old to be kidnapped by the bad guys."

John took her arm, making it impossible to concentrate on anything else. He was worried and it was all over his face. His eyebrows were too tight and his eyes were too soft. Elizabeth sighed; realizing she must look worse than she thought.

"That bad?" she whispered to him as he pulled her a step away from the jumper.

"You look like you're going to pass out," John pointed out in his gentlest tone; the one that made her feel like she was breaking his heart.

"I..." she stopped when lying seemed terribly unfair to him. "...I'll throw up before I pass out," Elizabeth admitted with a sigh.

"Oh," he grabbed her other arm and pulled her a little closer. She was still too pale, and it was painfully obvious even in the weak light from the flashlight in her hand. "...still sick to your stomach?"

"I think I'm sick to my everything," Elizabeth sighed with a twisted smile. Putting her head on his shoulder gave him an excuse to hug her to his chest; she collapsed into it.

John buried his hand in her hair, cradling her head against him. "Thank you," he said without explanation, knowing how hard it must have been to know there was nothing she could do to help the people she cared for. "Did you eat?" he nagged when he couldn't keep it back anymore.

Elizabeth shook her head slightly, lifting it a little from his shoulder. "I thought about it," she said as she brought her eyes up to meet his.

Disapproval roamed across his face, overriding his concern just for a moment. "You really should," he insisted when she pulled out of his arms.

She closed her eyes again, sighing as she resigned herself to standing upright. "I will," Elizabeth promised, taking the initiative to kiss his cheek. "Let's get our wounded down to the infirmary, shall we?" she suggested professionally, taking them out of the moment for now.

John tried to smile through his concern and managed to succeed for the most part. "You help the general off his floor and I'll get Woolsey?"

"You'd better believe it's my floor," Jack called from his spot a couple meters away. "It's the best damn floor I've been on in a long time."

Elizabeth crossed to him, lowering her hand as she braced herself. She wasn't even sure how she'd walk to the infirmary, but somehow she found the strength to pull Jack to his feet. The general put his arm around her shoulders, which steadied them both a bit.

"Have I mentioned that you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen," Jack teased just to get her to smile.

"Teyla probably looks a bit better than I do," Elizabeth corrected him sarcastically. She didn't think that he didn't know, and she had to concentrate so hard on her next few steps that she missed the look that crossed his face.

"Have to admit you've looked better," Jack answered with a smirk as it started to come together in his head. The stairs were a little difficult; both of them had to keep their hands on the railing to make it down without falling. He could smell the nervous sweat in her hair when it brushed past her face.

"Felt better too," she added under her breath, still frustrated by all of it. "I am glad you're all right."

Jack stopped them, taking a moment to catch his breath. Elizabeth wondered how much of his weight he was holding back. Neither of them was in any real shape for the walk to the infirmary. "Weren't too bad I suppose," he cracked with the ghost of a smile. "Just spent so much time sticking their damn hands in my head that they forgot to feed me sometimes."

"What did they want?" Elizabeth wondered gently, taking the break as an excuse to lower her head. Her vision was starting to black around the edges and the dark corridor was only getting longer on the way to the infirmary.

"Ascension," Jack sputtered as he forced himself up from the wall. "Every damn time, all they wanted to know was everything anyone had ever told me about ascension." He coughed, shaking her with him as he fought for breath. "Which isn't that much, to tell you the truth. Stupid things should have tried for Daniel instead of me," he joked in exhausted bad taste.

"Their leader didn't have much stock in ascension the last time I talked to them," Elizabeth said as she swallowed against the rebellion of her stomach. She closed her eyes and let him lead her feet for a few moments.

"New guy," Jack explained with biting sarcasm. Drawing on his reserves of strength he managed to pull his weight back. "The one who Rodney reprogrammed came back with a new agenda, guess something about him was changed enough that he took over. Niam's the head honcho now."

Elizabeth stopped them, leaving the general against the wall as she bent down and tried to compose herself. She had to balance herself with her hands on her thighs; even taking a deep breath didn't help her stomach quiet itself. Maybe it was just thinking about Niam, after all he'd put her through, but being sick in the hallway was a distinct possibility.

"You okay?" Jack wondered as he pushed himself off the wall. Staggering slightly as he made his way across to her, he touched her shoulder. "Elizabeth?"

Sinking all the way down to the floor, Elizabeth dropped her head between her knees. "Sorry," she whispered with her hand over her mouth. "It's been hard, lately..."

"I see," Jack replied thoughtfully, sitting down next to her against the dark wall of the corridor. "Commando's a new look for you," he said, startling her slightly away from the chaos in her stomach.

"John..." she paused, swallowing quickly. "Got them from the SGC, before we left"

"Stole the puddle jumper to come after me, didn't you?" Jack realized with a quiet smile. His hand ran comfortingly over her shoulder, but his eyes searched the corridor.

Her head dropped again, fighting the losing battle against her increasing nausea. "We did..." she choked a little, swallowing before she finished.

"They wanted to blow up the city," Jack finished for her. "I saw the plan for a foothold situation on Atlantis, didn't really expect a rescue." He dragged himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the wall as he moved down the corridor towards the plant in the corner. The Replicators had let much of the human touches go to waste, including the plants they'd collected from the mainland.

Two weeks without water had left the little tree completely dry, and some of the leaves fluttered dead to the floor as he kicked it towards her. She lifted her head up from her knees and stared at him in mild confusion.

"Not to say that I don't appreciate being rescued," Jack pointed out as he settled down clumsily next to her. "Easier to clean," he explained with a sympathetic shrug as he gestured towards the tree. "Figured it's the least I can do, you did steal a precious piece of Ancient technology and bring it all the way here to save me."

"We did it for Woolsey," Elizabeth joked weakly, turning away from him and grabbing her stomach.

"It's been awhile since I held anyone's hair back," Jack teased again, strangely relieved by the normalcy of the situation.

Starting to giggle, she stopped as stomach acid stung the back of her throat. Elizabeth jerked up to her knees, leaning up over the rim of the pot. The faint smell of dirt and dried leaves seemed out of place in the advanced city.

True to his word, she felt Jack's hands brush coolly across her neck as he collected her hair. "It's all right," he whispered comfortingly. "You're all right."

"No..." she argued, gasping before she finally vomited.

Jack had seen too much in his life to even recoil. He watched sympathetically as what little she had in her stomach poured from her mouth. Her skin was slightly damp around her hair, but it wasn't warm. His suspicions confirmed, Jack listened as she struggled for the chance to breathe. Her diaphragm convulsed again, even though there was nothing left to spill into the dirt. Her fingers went white on the edges of the potted tree.

Coughing a little, she pulled back and Jack caught her shoulders. He held her as she wiped her mouth against her sleeve.

"Sara said eating helped after awhile," Jack remarked to the back of her head. "She never felt like she should, but she felt better when she did."

"Sara?" Elizabeth wondered shyly, trying to ignore the sickly sweet taste vomiting had left in her mouth.

'My ex-wife," Jack said calmly, radiating his serenity through the hands on her back. "She was miserable when she was pregnant." He smiled when she looked up at him in surprise. "It's why we only had one kid; at least, that's what I've always thought."

She shook her head slowly and realized no one had to tell him. "That obvious?" Elizabeth asked as she hugged her chest and sat up a little straighter.

"You know..." Jack began thoughtfully, "...it was John. He had this funny look in his eyes." He pointed at his own eyes, shrugging again. "And Carter told me about John asking Daniel about this symbol you ran into at at that festival."

"I see," Elizabeth responded quietly. Her empty stomach was easier to deal with. She still had the headache to deal with, and exhaustion made her body hurt in a hundred different places. "And that led to me being pregnant?"

"Well, no, but now you've admitted it. Which means I won my bet and I am getting a home-cooked meal when I get back," Jack admitted proudly as he struggled to his feet. "I think I'll ask for swordfish. Carter should be able to find swordfish..."

"You bet?" she demanded incredulously. Starting to stand made her head spin, and only hanging onto the wall and Jack let her keep her feet.

"Yeah," Jack said gently, still smiling. "It gets boring on Earth, we need to wager about the lives of people we know." He winked at her and started walking.

"I'm supposed to be escorting you," Elizabeth chided him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders again.

Shrugging a little, Jack stopped outside the door to the infirmary and fussed with the crystals on the wall until he got it hiss open. "I had a handful of power bars on the way back. Guess I can still bounce back."

"What did Colonel Carter bet?" Elizabeth asked as the general led them to the sink in the back of the dark infirmary. He left her there and headed for the emergency lights in the center of the room.

He turned around, pulling himself up on one of the Ancient medical beds and lay back with a huge sigh of relief. "Dancing," Jack answered with a curious tone. "One night of dancing, where I had to show up wearing whatever she requested." He closed his eyes and shuddered. "Probably a penguin suit."

Elizabeth swished some of the cold water from sink around in her mouth before she spat it out. Washing the edge of her sleeve in the water as well, she noticed how worn the fabric was started to get. How long had it been since she'd had anything clean to put on? "But what did she think? That I wasn't pregnant?"

"Oh no," Jack chuckled as he waved a hand lazily through the air. "She thought I'd hear it in a mission report first, before one of you got up the guts to tell me."

Her eyebrows went up in surprise, and she drank half a glass of water before coming up with a response. "Was there anyone who didn't think?"

"No, not really," Jack told the ceiling through his closed eyes. "Daniel refused to get involved, figured the odds were already just too stacked. Murphy's law and all..."

"I see," Elizabeth managed to say before she started to fade. Her head was pounding so much that his voice sent waves of pain bouncing through behind her eyes. "We didn't," she admitted with more bitterness than she thought she had in her. "We thought we did, God, we've had sex twice since then. John..." She stopped short when Jack's head shot up in surprise.

"You didn't?" he asked with careful patience. Rolling to his side, he propped his head and watched her. The black of her shirt combined with the dark tendrils of her hair made her skin startlingly pale.

"There's an ascended Ancient on Ceol," Elizabeth began, feeling the trembling start in her hands. "She...visited me, while I was alone in the city. She informed me that she'd been conducted genetic experiments on the people of that world, and since John and I happened to be there, and he had LK476-"

His confused expression prompted her immediate explanation.

"The Ancient gene, what you have," Elizabeth said with irritation spilling into her voice. "I looked her up in the Ancient database and she was a scientist, one that seems to have lost her mind since she was."

"Ah," Jack noted softly, turning it over in his head. "I think I've still won my part of the bet," he teased before sitting up with a heavy sigh of resignation. "Come sit down," he suggested next, pointing to the bed across from his. "You look worse than I feel."

"You had power bars," Elizabeth poked back weakly.

"Touché," Jack said with a nod. "So she did something to you."

"She impregnated me in order to further the Ancient gene," Elizabeth snapped in exasperation and disgust. "John has it and I don't," she paused, resting one hand over her heart. "At least, I didn't." She met his eyes, and though he was confused, Jack stayed quiet. "I can turn on jumpers now, not in a useful way mind you, they just flicker for awhile."

"Always liked the word 'flicker'," Jack added absently. He kept smiling, gesturing her over to the bed again. "Still, that's more than most of the population."

"I just hate feeling like I'm being manipulated," Elizabeth argued back, inconsolable in her sense of violation. She took a few steps towards him, wavering when she had to walk without support. On one step her legs buckled and he slid off the bed.

"I'm not sure I can catch you," he admitted matter-of-factly, "I'll try, but you might want to sit down before they have to pick us both up off the floor."

Pulling herself up on the bed took so much effort that her arms hurt from the strain, Elizabeth sat on the edge quietly for a moment; willing the soft beige walls of the infirmary to come back into focus. "She threatened to take it," she whispered to the floor before she managed to lift her head.

"It?" Jack asked, putting a comforting hand on her knee.

"She said if I didn't want the baby, she'd take it away," she stammered out, feeling her voice break. The hand on her knee took hers and held it.

"And for awhile it seemed like a good idea," Jack finished for her. "Trust me; I think it crosses every parent's mind. If I'd just...something...I wouldn't have to deal with this."

"I didn't know you had children," Elizabeth tried to change the subject away before he noticed the tears she was fighting.

Digging around in the pockets of his uniform, he came up with nothing. Shrugging apologetically, he offered the back of his hand. "My son died twelve years ago," Jack clarified with a softness that belied the old pain in his eyes. "It's all right," he added before she could apologize. "Charlie was a great kid. I don't regret him. Any minute of him."

Clinging to his hand for support, Elizabeth bravely let him see the tears she felt running hot down her face. "I'm not ready, this isn't right; it's the wrong time..."

Jack cut her off when he heard footsteps in the hallway. "You're the right people. You love..." he closed her mouth when she tried to protest, "...despite what anyone might have told you, I'm not an idiot." He paused and gave her a wicked grin. "You love him, he loves you and since everyone else in the universe saw it before you did, you're just going to have to accept it."

John emerged into the light from the dark hallway first, Helia cradled in his arms. He set her carefully on one of the beds on the other side. Elizabeth nearly shuddered when she saw the blank eyes of the Lantian captain. She remembered a cold and formidable woman, but Helia had been replaced by an empty shell that lay like a dead thing when John released her.

Teyla followed him, clutching a blood-drenched bandage on her shoulder. Her normally tan skin was pale from blood loss. The coppery stench of blood drifted through the room, but she only had an optimistic smile for Elizabeth and Jack. "It is not as bad as it looks," she promised stoically, "And it certainly could have been worse."

"You're first," Carson promised as he negotiated the doorway with Woolsey's arm around his neck. "It just looks like a puncture wound, but I'd like to get it sutured before you need a blood transfusion."

"Of course Doctor," Teyla sighed as she came to sit next to Elizabeth. The smell of blood immediately set her stomach twisting again, but there was nothing left.

"Now which one of you two was fertilizing the poor dead tree in the hallway?" Carson nagged with a distinctly paternal glare.

Jack pointed at her before Elizabeth had a chance to defend herself. "I'm actually feeling better," he proclaimed proudly with a half smile. "Just hungry..."

John appeared immediately at her side, slipping a nervous arm around her back. She was so relieved by the contact that she barely heard the rest of Carson's ranting.

"Teyla and I discussed it," Carson began cheerfully, "And she'd like to invite you, General O'Neill and you, Mr. Woolsey to the Athosian settlement. They're packing to come back to the mainland, but they have food and fresh air and I think being around people could be good for both of you."

Woolsey nodded, still in a state of shock. Jack managed a smile and shot John a questioning look. "How's their food?" he asked tentatively.

"Good," John answered quickly, paying far more attention to the way Elizabeth leaned against his chest. Her head was spinning so badly the room was a blur. In the haze of her exhaustion, the smell of his dried sweat on his uniform was the only link she had to reality and she clung to it. As she leaned in, putting more of her weight on him; he tucked his hand into her hair.

"I think it's a good idea," John said distractedly. "Things here aren't exactly the best." He glanced around, checking on everyone before he turned to Carson. "I'm taking Elizabeth to bed."

"That's a better idea," Carson agreed without letting her have a say. He opened his medical kit and started making preparations to suture Teyla's shoulder. "No offense," he directed apologetically at Elizabeth, "But, you look like hell."

"Hell or not," she started indignantly, forcing herself to sit up under her own power. "I'm still in charge of this facility."

"Aye, but you won't be if you pass out from exhaustion," Carson shot back as he removed the bandage from Teyla's shoulder. Blood oozed from the dark gash in her flesh and he started to clean it. "Go to bed, I promise Teyla and I can hold things together until you've rested."

With her pain firmly out of her mind, Teyla smiled serenely. "Carson is quite correct," she agreed.

The smell of blood cut metallic through the air and Elizabeth slid from the bed, fleeing the infirmary before her stomach got any other rebellious ideas. "Okay Carson," she acquiesced as John caught her arm to steady her. "I'll behave."

John's tension left his shoulders as he sighed in relief. "Control room?"

Jack groaned as he dragged himself back to his feet. "Lead the way," he said as he collected Woolsey from the corner. "We've been released for now, sent out to pasture for awhile," he joked, gaining strength every moment.

"What about her?" Woolsey asked in a haunted voice as he stared down at Helia. "Do you think you can help her?"

Carson kept his eyes on Teyla's shoulder as he started checking the muscle beneath the skin. "I'll do my best," he promised with a quick nod of his head. "Physically she seems to be all right, so there's hope she'll recover in time."

He nodded quietly, touching her shoulder gently before he left her. "You're in good hands now," Woolsey whispered so softly his voice barely carried.

"How'd he do?" John asked the general in a private whisper.

Jack's jaw softened, caught between pity and respect. "He kept it together; he's definitely got a backbone under his suit."

Elizabeth was too stubborn to let John wrap his arm around her as Jack had. She kept her arms folded over her chest and led the way to the control room with an iron determination not to give in to her weakness. She disappeared into her thoughts, only catching bits and pieces of the conversation.

"Rodney should make it back in a few days, sooner if he gets sick of rations," John explained as they rounded a corner. "The Replicators don't seem to have a key gene, so provided our genius can figure it out..."

"...threaten to call Carter," Jack interrupted sardonically, "Makes him work faster."

"I'll remember that," John promised as he grinned cheerfully. The new ship was terribly exciting. He'd enjoyed every moment of the Orion's short time with them, and unlike that ship, this one was fully functional. Elizabeth could feel his excitement in the bounce of his step behind her. Jack was getting swept up along with it; the two of them trying to decide if they should ask for a new crew to run the Asuran vessel when they got in touch with Earth.

"We haven't yet," Elizabeth reminded them softly; hating to ruin their fun. "The communications system is still a mess."

"Well," Jack started, scratching his head as he thought. "We could just throw them a note. We have that ZPM..."

John held up four fingers, keeping his face stoic as he waited for Jack to realize what he was saying.

"You have four?" Jack choked and started to laugh. "You have four ZPMs?"

"Yeah, but, we broke the city..." John admitted sheepishly. "I guess it is kind of funny."

"Kind of?" Jack turned his head away and lost the ability speak through his laughter. "I don't know if we've ever had four ZPMs that worked, let alone four at the same time."

Both of them started to laugh together, stumbling slightly up the steps as they shared the joke.

Elizabeth just shook her head. Hearing them both find the humor in their situation was oddly comforting. Jack was right, life was too short. Too short to worry about where her child came from. It didn't matter, because it was still John's. Holding on to his excitement in an effort to share it, she forced her fears to the back of her mind.

Clinging to the control panel as she sat down to dial the gate, her hands trembled slightly as she struck the symbols for the Athosians temporary home. Over the edge of the balcony, she watched the blue light of the gate fill the room.

John's voice crackled over the radio to her ear, "I'm going to pop through and introduce everyone, I'll be back in a minute, so leave the shield down," he promised.

"Bring us back some more rations if you can," she reminded him as she rubbed her temples. Perhaps Carson was right, all she needed was a little rest and her head would stop pounding. Yawning as she sent Rodney's computer back into the database, Elizabeth called Mab's logs back up. Marking certain passages to ask Carson about, she started sifting through the Ancient notes. There had to be something.

~*~*~*~

---

When John reemerged from the gate ten minutes later, the control room was completely quiet.

"Elizabeth?" he called up towards the balcony. Swinging the bag of food over his shoulder, John took the steps up to the controls two at a time. Some time with the Athosians might be just what Woolsey needed; he'd perked up a little when they showed him the warm, comfortable tent they were sharing with him. Jack was falling back into form; the Athosians were already making plans to teach him their way of spear fishing. He'd promised a fish by check in tomorrow.

John rounded the top of the stairs and stopped short. Making a mental note not to tell Rodney what Elizabeth was doing on his computer, he approached her at the desk. Rodney would never forgive her for falling asleep on it. Her hair tumbled over the arm that pillowed her head in a mess of dark curls. Her hand was still on the keyboard, she'd been reading something until her body just couldn't take it anymore. John smiled softly, bending down and lifting her head from the laptop as gently as he could.

Cradling her head back against his chest, he knelt on the floor by her side. For a moment she snuggled into him, instinctually craving the warmth of his body. Shaking her shoulder, John wondered if he'd be able to rouse her at all. Elizabeth moaned softly as he draped her arm around his neck. She was heavy against his chest, and he realized he'd be sore in the morning. He wasn't used to carrying unconscious women around the city.

"Elizabeth?" he tried again, cupping her cheek trying to decide if she'd finally fainted. "I'm going to take you to bed, if you wake up, you can chew me out for it, but until then I guess you're in my hands."

Tucking her legs into his other arm, John stood up cautiously. "See, you've got me so flustered I'm making bad puns." Her weight settled against his chest and he contemplated the stairs. "One step at a time," he reminded himself. "And fix the transporters next."

"Try it now," Elizabeth called down from the control center.

John hit the transporter control and jumped back as a shower of sparks accosted him. "Dammit," he snapped as he stuffed his fingers into his mouth. Taking them out again and deciding they were undamaged, he glared up at the control room. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Yes," she called back, smiling slightly as the sound of his grumbling carried up the stairs. "I'm trying to get you replaced by someone younger, Major Lorne could use a promotion, don't you think?"

Reaching into the wall on a whim, John reversed two of the crystals and smacked them back into place for good measure. Closing his eyes before he tapped the touch screen again, he winced in anticipation of more sparks. Instead, the transporter politely brought him to the back of control.

"So, Major Lorne?" he taunted her as he crept up behind her.

Laughing as she backed away, Elizabeth ducked behind a console. "He is your second in command, isn't he?"

"Technically..." John gave in, suddenly turning serious. "I suppose I've lived the longest of anyone of my rank assigned to this base."

She pulled herself up behind the console and tried to ignore the heaviness that had suddenly settled into her chest. "Don't say that," Elizabeth said, shivering as chilled fingers ran up her spine.

"Yeah," John said weakly as he studied his boots. "Probably shouldn't jinx myself, huh?"

"No," she replied as she tried to get her levity back. "Nice work on the transporter."

"Thanks," he accepted with a shrug. "I hit it and it worked."

"Worked is what we're going for," Elizabeth leaned over the console and smirked at his hair. The lack of hot showers seemed to have only accentuated his hair's willfulness. "Want to try communications next? Or should we just toss a paper airplane through the gate to Earth?"

"I make a nice one," John added as he returned her smile. Ever since she'd woken up, she'd seemed like a new person. Carson had been right; again, that sometimes all someone needed was food and sleep.

Elizabeth stood up fully, stretching out her back as she circled around the console towards him. "I know you do, I saw your office at the SGC before we left," she teased.

"Paperwork and I just don't get along," John explained innocently. Bending down to pop off the access hatch of the communications console, he sighed as he stared at all the crystals. "We could really use Rodney and Zelenka just about now."

"Oh I know," Elizabeth sighed in frustration and sat down on the floor next to him.

"Did you ever see him?" John asked lightly, "When the kids got him?"

Shaking her head as she dragged the box of tools over towards them, Elizabeth felt the rush of pleasure when he touched her hand. "No, I'm afraid I missed it."

"Oh man..." John chuckled slightly at the memory. "He really was something special. We're going to have to tell those kids about Halloween one of these days, considering how much they like chocolate."

"Is that the sugar method of diplomacy?" she hinted with a brilliant smile. "Something I should take note of?"

"If you ever need to broker any kind of treaty with those kids," John started as he brushed against her shoulder. "I'd keep it in mind."

Reaching for one of the darkened crystals, Elizabeth leaned in, brushing across his arm with her chest. He raised an eyebrow and slid up closer to the panel, effectively trapping her between him and their work. He tilted his head closer, studying the play of the weak blue light on her lips. Her skin was brighter this morning and less transparent than it had been. She'd even eaten breakfast without complaint and apparent gusto.

More than that, all he could think in the moment he had was how beautiful she was. Her green eyes playfully refused to look at him, but she had left him a lovely view of the smooth line of her neck. Leaning close enough that he could feel the warmth of her skin, John smiled blissfully, absolutely content with the day.

He was still grinning like an idiot when she turned her head back and met his eyes. Maybe it was that grin that lead her to kiss him; he couldn't be sure, but he was going to take it. John felt her lips melt wet against his, and when her tongue found its way into his mouth he thought the tingling sensation was entirely her.

When they re-materialized in front of Hermiod and Novak on the Daedalus, John realized that it had been something else. Watching as Elizabeth blushed scarlet; he felt the same start to happen to him.

"Welcome back to the Daedalus," Novak chirped from Hermiod's side. "I'm sorry we couldn't give you more warning. Your communications system..."

"Was what we were trying to fix," John said lamely as he sprang up to his feet. "Really."

"I see," Hermiod muttered from his place at the transporter controls. "Bridge, this is Hermiod, Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir have arrived."

John helped Elizabeth up as well, letting go of her hand as soon as she was up, like a boy caught by his parents alone with a girl. "I suppose we should have been expecting you."

"We left right after you did," Novak explained as she worked very hard to avoid meeting either of their eyes. Smiling behind her hand, she stared at her computer. "Colonel Carter will explain, I'm sure."

"Colonel Carter?" Elizabeth asked curiously as her composure started to return. "Where's Colonel Caldwell?"

"Colonel Carter is in charge of the recovery mission," Novak replied as she tried to come to terms with what she'd seen. "The gossip is that she went to General Landry and stayed in his office until he authorized the mission..." covering her mouth nervously, she smiled apologetically, "...but I wasn't supposed to know that."

"Well," John shared a look with Elizabeth and realized their kiss would be all over the ship faster than news of the last one. "We won't tell."

"Thanks," Novak finished shyly. Hermiod rolled his eyes but said nothing as John tried desperately not to stare at him.

Elizabeth's smile seemed more amused than usual as they made their way to the bridge. "Hermiod's never going to like you if you don't stop staring at him," she pointed out impishly as she took his hand.

"Are you sure that's okay?" he stared down at their joined fingers and tried not to feel like he was twelve.

"I'm probably fired and you're probably out of the Air Force," Elizabeth sighed sarcastically, hoping she wasn't actually right about that. "It really doesn't matter, we could probably hop on the next puddle jumper we see and elope."

John halted their progress, tugging her black sleeve and pulling her aside. "Seriously?" he asked in quiet confusion.

"No, Doctor Sheppard sounds kinda funny, don't you think?" Elizabeth winked at him and started walking towards the bridge without him.

As he jogged to catch up, he shook his head in amazement. She was back. Whatever part of her that had been eclipsed by the bizarre revelation that she was pregnant had returned her sense of humor. It was oddly comforting, yet disconcerting at the same time.

"Colonel Weir on the other hand..." Elizabeth teased, picking the moment just before the hatch opened onto the bridge.

John fought to keep his expression even as they approached Colonel Caldwell in the center of the bridge.

"We only detected five life signs in the city," Carter's voice startled them both from behind.

"General O'Neill and Mr. Woolsey are with the Athosians on M9S-278," Elizabeth explained quickly, sensing a tension in the other woman's tone she knew all too well. "They'll be staying there until the Athosians decide whether or not to migrate back to the mainland."

Carter circled around them stopping just behind the helm. John knew the look on her face, he'd felt that unexplainable relief, but he was surprised how well she hid it.

"We hope Doctor McKay and Ronon will be returning soon as well," Elizabeth continued for Caldwell.

"And where might they be?" Caldwell wondered with quiet concern.

"They have a ship," John piped up cheerfully, unable to contain his excitement whenever their new battleship was involved.

"We've captured a Replicator battleship," Elizabeth translated, watching as Carter and John shared a moment of innocent excitement. "Doctor McKay was certain he could fly it home, so Colonel Sheppard agreed to let him."

Caldwell smiled and settled back into his gray metal command chair. "Seems like you've been busy, too busy to answer your radios perhaps?"

"Yeah, about that..." John started sheepishly, "We kind of, well McKay did, actually, over-loaded the city's systems."

Carter's eyes widened in surprise, "He used the ARG as a pulse weapon, without accounting for the frequencies Ancient crystalline technologies rely on," she blurted out in shock, "He must have overloaded..."

"...every system in the city," Elizabeth finished almost apologetically. "It took us nearly two weeks just to get the gate repaired."

"We should be able to help with that," Carter butted in as she took a step closer. "We collected all of Doctor McKay's science team before we left, not to mention the scientists the Daedalus already has on board, we should have more than enough hands to speed your repairs."

Caldwell gave her a look that suggested there was more to their trip than simply repairing Atlantis. Carter blithely ignored it and turned Elizabeth to face her. "When can we start beaming down teams? Do you require any other assistance?"

"Teyla," John interrupted as he too turned his back on Caldwell. "She was injured fighting the Replicators; Carson-Doctor Beckett's supplies are severely limited."

Carter tapped the radio in her ear. "Novak, I want you to lock on to the other three life signs and beam them straight to the infirmary."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said warmly. Fidgeting with her fingers as she turned back to Caldwell, she smiled to ease the tension. "I'd appreciate getting Doctor Zelenka and Colonel Carter right away, Rodney was forced to sink the city and you won't be able to land until it surfaces."

"Consider it done, Doctor," Caldwell allowed politely, relieved to have Carter off his ship for awhile. "I'll let you get your work done before we convene for a full debriefing."

"Thank you again, Colonel," Elizabeth finished sincerely. "I can't say enough how pleased we are to see you again; all of you." She glanced around the bridge before she took John's hand. The gesture drew a raised eyebrow from the colonel and more than a few curious looks from the crew as they followed Carter to the door.

Sam herself was a little surprised, but she hid it professionally as her blue eyes lit with a smile. "I knew you'd find him," she admitted softly by way of thanks. "When I heard you'd left, I knew."

"We don't leave anyone behind," John assured her with quiet dignity. He looked down before meeting her eyes. "No matter what."
~*~*~*~

---

By lunchtime Atlantis had life again, Zelenka was directing the science team; working them so quickly that they seemed to scurry all over the city like blue-shirted insects. After accepting Caldwell's welcome home gift of her laptop computer, Elizabeth retreated to her office. It had taken her longer than she liked to admit to configure her computer like Rodney's so she could access the database.

When she tried to pick up where she'd left off, nothing seemed familiar. How tired had she been yesterday when she'd tried to wade through the Ancient text? Sighing at her own fallibility, Elizabeth approached it logically from the beginning. Jotting down notes as she went, she was buried in technical details of the mostly unknown field of gene therapy when someone knocked on the glass of her office.

Colonel Carter stood there, a folded bunch of clothes in her hands. "Hi, John told me you all only brought one set of clothes and the Daedalus' stores are kind of light on spares," she began apologetically as she set the blue Air Force jumpsuit and a pair of black t-shirts on the edge of the desk. "We're about the same height, and these things are kind of baggy."

"Thank you, Colonel," Elizabeth said, sitting back in her chair with a relieved smile. "I was beginning to think I'd be stuck in this. Did you find Jack?"

"General O'Neill is flying jumpers for the Athosians," Carter explained with her brilliant smile. "He'll be helping them relocate all of today, but he invited me over to his tent for dinner. He caught some kind of fish that I need to cook for him."

"He wasn't making that up," Elizabeth realized softly, pulling the clothes across to her lap. "He mentioned something yesterday, but I was so tired I'm not sure what really happened and what my mind made up to fill in the blanks."

"General O'Neill might like to kid around, but he's true to his word about things that are important," Carter promised as she grabbed the back of the chair across from the desk. "Mind if I?"

"No, go ahead," Elizabeth waved her hand at the chair before setting her borrowed clothes aside. "Colonel Caldwell offered us the use of your showers on board as well."

"Actually, we got the hot water working here," Carter offered as she settled into the chair. "So you're good to go."

"Thank you, again," Elizabeth replied in grateful surprise. "I thought I was excited when the lights in my office came on. Hot showers and clean clothes as well...no wonder Rodney speaks so highly of you."

Carter blushed, something very obvious with her pale skin. "It's actually not that difficult, we just have a lot of hands," she demurred, trying to contain her embarrassment. "Can I ask you something?"

Setting down her computer, Elizabeth looked across at the other woman, suddenly curious. "You're lending me clean clothes, you can ask me anything," she joked lightly, unsure where the conversation was going.

"What made you decide..." Carter paused, struggling to find the words she wanted, "...it was okay to be with Sheppard, John, I mean?"

Elizabeth's eyebrows rose in mild surprise. "What exactly did Jack tell you?" she asked quietly, wondering if this conversation was going to end in a lecture on Air Force etiquette.

"I hear you're to be congratulated," Carter replied with a tiny smile. Something flashed through her sparkling blue eyes that Elizabeth hadn't expected to see.

"No, well, I suppose," Elizabeth stuttered. Closing her eyes, she found her calm. "I guess someone told you."

"Jack was pretty amused, said he thought it was only a matter of time before something like this happened," Carter admitted as her smile blossomed. "I'm afraid he's really been giving Colonel Sheppard a hard time."

"I think John can take it," Elizabeth said with confidence. Reaching for the glass of water on her desk, she wondered where the burning chemical smell was coming from. Looking past Carter out into the gate room, she got up for a better look. "Do you smell that?"

Carter shook her head as she turned in her chair. "No, I don't smell anything."

"Just me then?" Elizabeth asked sheepishly. Staring down she found two of the blue-shirted scientists dissecting part of the floor with a cutting torch. Satisfied that nothing was wrong, she returned to her chair. "I'm sorry; everything makes me a little jumpy."

"I'd guess, I can't say I'd know. I've never had a child," Carter said softly, studying Elizabeth's face as if there were answers there.

"I never intended to," Elizabeth divulged as she took a long drink of her water. Discovering the smell made it stick in her head, searing the back of her nose. "To be perfectly honest it was the last thing from my mind until Carson told me."

"Are you all right?" Carter pressed innocently. "You're not having trouble doing your job?"

"No, not yet," Elizabeth finished the last of her water and realized that her dream of making it through a day without being nauseated was just a dream after all. "I might, I guess...I have to admit I haven't thought about it. We've just been so busy trying to get the city put back together; everything else has been put aside."

"Seems like it would be hard not to think about it all the time," Carter said, folding her hands in her lap and watching her fingers.

"I don't know," Elizabeth said, swallowing against her first wave of nausea. "Would you mind if we moved this conversation? I don't think I can stay here while they're doing...whatever it is that they're doing."

"Retrofitting the gate controls," Carter explained quickly, as she left her chair. "I thought we should put in some safeguards. Make sure your city doesn't get knocked out completely again."

"Great," Elizabeth replied as she started down the catwalk from her office. "That seems like a smart idea."

Carter's radio chirped something into her ear and she paused before replying. Catching up with Elizabeth on the way through the control room, she grinned with excitement. "Doctor McKay and the Asuran ship just entered orbit. They're going to beam me aboard so he can show me everything he's discovered."

"Tell him good work for me," Elizabeth said as she headed down the stairs. Carter caught her arm, startling her as she fled the smell of the torches.

"Thank you for being candid with me, I know we haven't really met outside of the SGC..." Carter trailed off, searching for what she really, desperately wanted to say. "If you and John need anything, or anyone to stand up for you against the IOA or the Air Force, don't hesitate." She met Elizabeth's eyes before leaving her. "General O'Neill and I...we...understand."

Elizabeth took the hand on her arm and squeezed it warmly, wishing she could ease whatever was so heavy in the other woman's heart. "Thank you," she said firmly. Taking one step downwards, she turned back. "Especially for the clothes," she added, "It'll be nice to have something that's not black."

"Any time," Sam smiled back, letting her excitement wash away her apprehension. "I just hope they fit."

"Baggy might be what I need," Elizabeth realized suddenly, shaking her head as she tried to picture herself in a few months. Her mind didn't want to process anything that far in the future. Tucking her silicon earpiece back inside her ear, she watched as Carter dissolved in a cloud of white light.

Rodney would get the city running. Of course, she had absolutely faith in Colonel Carter's abilities. Zelenka was certainly incredibly capable as well, but neither of them were her scientific leader. As she walked through the city, her nausea eased. Being away from the smell of burning metal seemed to be the best thing she could do for her stomach.

The lights were back on in the reddish-gray pillars in the hallway and she had to dodge scientists and engineers as she made her way towards the infirmary. Carson had hoped it would be ready to receive Teyla and Helia before the end of the day. Turning the corner into the room she saw a few familiar faces at work on Carson's equipment. It didn't look quite ready yet, but the serious expressions everyone wore insisted it was going to be.

Silently leaving them, Elizabeth headed down to the power room. Skipping the transporter in favor of the quiet walk, she tried not to admit she like the peace of the empty city. It felt like the city was just waking up from a dream of darkness and had just discovered it had a million things to do.

The earpiece in her ear buzzed, followed quickly by Zelenka's excited Czech accent. "Doctor Weir? We think we're ready to try raising the city to the surface. Perhaps you would make an announcement? Tell everyone to hang onto something."

"Acknowledged Zelenka, good work," she said into her tiny microphone. Walking over to the wall and taking hold of the edge of one of the windows Elizabeth tapped her radio. "Everyone, this is Doctor Weir, please prepare for our attempt to raise the city by stopping what you're doing and hanging on to something solid."

Hitting it again to switch back to Zelenka, Elizabeth added; "Go ahead, Doctor."

Beneath her hand the city rumbled, like a great beast starting to wake. Remembering how violent rising had been the first time, she sank to the floor and curled into a ball. Humming with power around her, the engines of the great city fired with a jolt, sending them hurtling towards the surface. Feeling her ears start to sting painfully, Elizabeth swallowed a few times until they popped from the pressure.

Just like the first time light poured into the drenched windows, as if the entire city were being reborn into the daylight. Standing up slowly she wobbled a bit, as if she had to get her sea-legs again. Elizabeth brushed off her already dirty black uniform out of habit and hit her radio to praise Zelenka on a job well done.
~*~*~*~

---

"Look, this ship doesn't need you. Ronon and I got it back here all by ourselves," Rodney defended his console as Carter and John approached him. "And since it was mostly me, and I was the one who came up with the way to defeat the Replicators..."

Carter coughed into her hand.

"...I came up with the modifications for the way to defeat the Replicators," Rodney corrected. "I think I should get to name it."

"You can't call it 'Enterprise', 'Babylon Five', or the 'Millenium Falcon'," John insisted firmly.

"What about the 'Defiant'?" Rodney attempted hopefully. "That ship was a battleship."

"But it was so little," John argued back as he headed for the command chair in the center of the bridge.

"I'm calling her Artemis," Carter informed them as she beat John out for the chair. "And it's going to be final. Earth's working on a sister ship to the Daedalus we're calling the Apollo, and Artemis was his sister."

"Nice," John supported her as he retreated to the weapons console. "That I like."

"Two against one really isn't fair," Rodney complained to the engineering console. "You should have at least let me ask Ronon, or Elizabeth. Elizabeth should really get a vote."

"She'd like Artemis," John reminded him. "It fits with the rest of the ships having Greek names, and she'll probably say it's about time we had a girl ship."

"Wait," Rodney interjected. "How do you know it's a girl? It's just a ship."

"How do you know it's not a girl?" John teased as he brought the weapons online the way Rodney had showed him. "It took you nearly two days to figure out how to talk to her, that sounds like a woman to me."

Carter giggled unprofessionally from the command chair and called back to John. "She's going to be Artemis and that's the end of it. Rodney, I need you to radio the Daedalus and tell Caldwell to make sure he's out of the way of our weapon test."

"Who died and made you the boss?" Rodney grumbled under his breath.

John nudged him with an elbow. "She's above me," he reminded Rodney. "Until we hear from the SGC otherwise, General O'Neill is in charge of military operations, Colonel Caldwell is in charge of the Deadelus and Colonel Carter is in charge of the Artemis."

"Fine, the Daedalus has been notified, Atlantis has been notified, and we've been cleared to try our weapons," Rodney reported back as he started to get over his disappointment. "It would just be nice if us civilians got a little respect now and then."

"Elizabeth gets plenty," John teased as he prepared to fire. "Maybe it's just you."

"Gentleman, we have a test to conduct," Carter reminded them, rolling her eyes at the both of them. "Now if you please, lock on the target asteroid and fire-"
~*~*~*~*~

---

"The weapons test results were very promising," Carter began as she stood by the huge table in the Atlantis briefing room. "The energy weapons currently on the Artemis are much more impressive than anything we have deployed on any of our ships," she continued, directing their attention to the graph she'd made to show the calculated power output.

"From what we know of Ancient technology, specifically the weapons platform we used to destroy a Wraith ship, these weapons are really something," Rodney continued, eyeing Carter as he left his chair to stand next to her. "This ship could easily handle a Wraith ship, possibly two."

"Two?" Jack wondered with raised eyebrows.

"It's Aurora class, or whatever the Asuran equivalent is," Rodney replied.

"The Orion didn't have energy weapons," John pointed out as he fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve. A hot shower and new uniform had him feeling like a new man. Elizabeth was at his side. She looked strange in an Air Force blue jump-suit. She'd even stolen one of his patches before the meeting; pretending to be a Colonel had earned her a kiss in the hallway.

"The Orion was ten thousand years old," Rodney pointed out with a beaming smile. "The Artemis is brand new; it's like the difference between a car that's been sitting in your garage for ten thousand years and one fresh off the lot."

"So it's good?" Ronon asked as he sat back in his chair.

"Oh it's good!" Rodney replied happily. "It's so unbelievably good."

"As soon as we can get the communications up and running we're going to send a data burst to Earth detailing everything we've learned about the Artemis," Carter explained as she shut down the graph behind her. "Then providing the hyper-space tests go well, the Daedalus will return to Earth to pick up more supplies and personnel using the ZPM that was rescued from the Ancient outpost along with General O'Neill."

"Meanwhile, the Artemis will lead the counter-attack on the Asuran home world," General O'Neill piped up from his place on one of the corners. "Elizabeth and I have discussed it, and we believe the best defense-"

"-is a good offense," Elizabeth finished with a small smile.

General O'Neill nodded proudly as she made the reference. "Carter, McKay and Zelenka are already working on a way to deploy the anti-Replicator pulse from the Artemis."

"So we have a chance?" John asked as he glanced around the faces at the table.

"We have an excellent probability of success," Carter promised with a smile as she took her seat.

"Good, one last order of business then," Jack stood up, reaching behind his chair for a bottle of champagne. "Colonel Samantha Carter, in recognition of your outstanding dedication to duty, you are being promoted to field captain of our new warship, the Artemis. May the wind always be at your back, Colonel."

Caldwell passed around a tray of silver mugs from the Daedalus' mess hall. "I know they aren't crystal, but it's the best we could do on short notice," he apologized with a wink at Carter. "Congratulations, Colonel."

"Thank you, Sir," Carter's eyes sparkled unnaturally as the cork popped out of the bottle of champagne. "All of you," she finished as she accepted her cup.

Elizabeth passed all the cups on past her. John covered her hand with his, retrieving one of the empty cups from Caldwell and pouring water from his canteen into it he gave her that instead.

"That way you have something to clink," John whispered into her ear. "Wouldn't want you to miss out."
~*~*~*~*~*~

---

"Where did you find a copy of Princess Bride?" Rodney demanded as he chose a chair in the cafeteria.

"Lieutenant Keenan had one," John explained proudly as he handed his plastic bowl of popcorn to Elizabeth. "Figured on a whole ship full of scientists, someone would have to have it."

"There's nothing scientific in this movie," Rodney argued as he reached across John towards the popcorn. John smacked his hand playfully, elbowing Rodney in the side as he leaned over.

"We're on a date, Rodney, leave my popcorn alone," John explained in a stage whisper.

"A date?" Rodney sputtered back as he looked for the next closest bowl of popcorn. "Who said you two could go on dates?"

Elizabeth laughed as she pretended to yawn, sneaking her arm around John's shoulders. "John pointed out that we hadn't been on one yet."

He looked at her hand, more amused than surprised, before looking back to Rodney. "I said ever," he corrected, moving his feet out of the way to let one of the marines from the Daedalus take a seat somewhere down past Elizabeth.

"And there's something about this movie that has everyone so excited," Elizabeth explained as she took a bite of her popcorn. "I just had to come."

"If you haven't seen it, so you can't possibly understand," Rodney said, waving a hand in disgust. "Who's idea was it to have a movie night anyway? Don't we all have work we should be doing?"

"That's all we've been doing," John twisted Rodney's thought around and nodded playfully at Carson when he entered the cafeteria with Laura Cadman. "We've been fighting the Replicators, the crew of the Daedalus had a run in with an Ori scoutship on the way over from which they barely escaped. Everyone needed a break."

"And General O'Neill agreed?" Rodney wondered as Beckett sat down next to him.

"Of course he did, Rodney," Beckett said as he passed his popcorn into Rodney's waiting hands. "As far as generals go, he's one of the most relaxed I've run into."

Cadman reached playfully across Beckett's lap, stealing a handful of popcorn and making him squirm. "Even Caldwell admitted we needed a night off," she added, looking around to see if everyone had made it.

"If you people would all sit down," General O'Neill bellowed from the front of the room. "Children, we can't start the damn movie if you won't shut up." He clapped his hands together, drawing the attention of the room.

"Have you seen Teyla and Ronon?" John asked Elizabeth, leaning in his head close to her. "They really should see this."

"Teyla just got released from the infirmary, perhaps she needed more time to recuperate," Elizabeth guessed, trying to get comfortable in her chair.

"Oh no, there they are," John said, pointing at the door. Beckett saw them and waved over to their row of chairs. Teyla's shoulder still had a bandage beneath her purple and gray tank top, but she smiled as she took her seat.

"So this is television?" Ronon asked apprehensively, clinging to his silver mug as he slumped into his chair.

"No," Rodney explained as he rolled his eyes. "This is a movie..."

"...it's better than television," John finished as he shared a smile with Teyla. "Glad you're feeling better."

"Carson promised me in a few days I will be good as new," Teyla volunteered, watching Ronon leave his chair and return with popcorn and a second silver mug.

"It's good," he offered with a shrug as he passed it to her. "Would be better with a little kick to it."

Teyla raised an eyebrow and took a sip. "I'm sure someone here has something appropriate," she glanced around the crowd, looking for people she knew. "Did Major Lorne return with the Daedalus?"

"I think so," Rodney added as he stood up to search.

"Down in front, Rodney!" Someone called from the back, tossing a few pieces of popcorn towards McKay.

"He's back there," Rodney said, pointing over his shoulder as he sat back down.

"Think he has something?" Ronon wondered as he tossed a look backwards.

"He's always the prepared type," Carson joked as he turned around to wave.

Ronon left his seat, moving easily through the crowd until he reached the major.

Elizabeth snuggled against John's shoulder, keeping her arm around him and sighing contently as she listened to the crowd. "It feels like home again, doesn't it?" she asked John as his fingers closed around her hand on his shoulder.

"Bickering... Major Lorne providing dangerous aliens with rum in their hot cocoa..." John ticked off some of things he saw, catching a nod from Colonel Carter as she hurried through the door and immediately began to apologize to General O'Neill. "Seems about right."

Zelenka popped into their row, waving for Beckett to hand across a cup of cocoa to Rodney. "I had time to bring some of the finest back with me," he explained as Rodney took a sniff.

Rodney waved his thanks, taking a tiny sip and wheezing in surprise. "Russian vodka," he explained to Carson and Laura's odd looks.

"I'm starting the damn movie whether you people shut up or not!" General O'Neill yelled from the front of the room as the lights abruptly went off. As the excited talking died away to muffled whispers the opening credits began on the huge projection screen on the wall.

"Where did you find a screen big enough?" Elizabeth asked John in a whisper as she tried to think of the places that had large projection screens.

"Found it in one of the little used parts of the city...some kind of conference room or something," John said before he blew across the top of the hot chocolate before offering it to her. "I think it's much better used here."

The MGM lion roared across the screen; signaling the start of the film.

"If you people keep talking, I'll start using my stunner," General O'Neill yelled back over his shoulder. The crowd tittered into silence.

Elizabeth turned to John with a finger over her lips. "Shhh..." she whispered playfully. "I haven't seen this."

"Who's fault is that?" John muttered as he put his head on her shoulder. Since her arm was still around him, he snuggled into her like a little boy, making her smile as the movie began.

It reoccurred to him that she really hadn't seen it when Wesley's death made her sniff and rub her eyes. "You are a hopeless romantic, aren't you?"

Elizabeth nodded shyly, kissing his hair as she kept her eyes on the screen. John looked at her and turned back to film, he followed it for a few minutes, but he knew it so well he didn't even have to watch. So he turned, leaning into her lap. Dropping his head to her legs, he pulled his feet up on his chair and balanced his legs against McKay. Rodney gave him a glare, but shut up once he passed over the rest of Elizabeth's popcorn.

For the rest of the movie he watched her, taking in the way she smiled whenever Wesley did something heroic. She cheered along with the rest of the audience when the evil Count Rugen finally met defeat. She hugged his head gleefully as Humperdink was revealed as a coward.

The crowd erupted as a living thing when Wesley and Buttercup met for the final kiss. Maybe it was stress, exhaustion, or the fact that it was the first moment off any of them had experienced for more then two weeks. The crowd started to break, Ronon following Teyla to join Major Lorne's group of revelers.

Caldwell had broken out his personal stash of liquor and much was being spent toasting the new ship and Carter's elevation to command.

John stayed in Elizabeth's lap as she watched the rest of the credits. Quietly turning down to him, she smiled softly. "You've said that to me?"

"My name is John Sheppard, you killed my father, prepare to die?" John teased, closing his eyes and pretending to fall asleep in her lap.

"You know what I mean," Elizabeth corrected, running her hand gently through his hair. "Did you mean it?"

"Is this a test?" John said; opening one eye and looking at her accusingly.

Bending down to capture his lips with hers, she stopped his speculation. Kissing him until the crowd around them started to notice, Elizabeth didn't break away when she had the chance. She hung onto his head and kept him in the kiss. Leaning over him a second longer than she needed to, Elizabeth ignored the cheering that was breaking out around them.

Leaning down over his ear, Elizabeth whispered something that took the wind out of his chest. "As you wish," she promised him with the full force of her heart.
~*~*~*~*~

---

When they finally made their excuses to leave the party and return to their quarters John flopped onto the bed. "You know, there were nice things about the city being deserted."

Standing in front of the mirror in their newly lit bathroom, Elizabeth murmured something he couldn't hear. John dragged himself from the softness of bed and stumbled into the bathroom after her. Hanging around the doorway until she noticed him in the mirror, John just watched contentedly.

Elizabeth had removed her blue jacket and stood in front of the mirror in only her clingy black undershirt. That too must have been borrowed from Carter, John thought. It was definitely Air Force issue and it looked funny on his civilian doctor.

She turned, looking at herself in profile in the mirror. Pulling her shirt as tight as possible over her stomach, she stared at herself. Her hands released the fabric and covered the flatness of her body. One of her eyebrows tightened, as if she was willing her body to make the passenger within more apparent. Her stomach remained as it was. No different than it had appeared weeks ago. Elizabeth cupped her breasts in her hands, studying the way they sat fuller on her chest and deciding they, at least, had changed.

"I could do that for you, if you want," John volunteered from the doorway.

The hint of a blush danced across her cheeks as she finally noticed his reflection smiling at her. "I should have asked," she teased back. "Do they look different?"

"I didn't look at your chest before..." John lied rather pathetically as he took a step towards her.

"You didn't?" Elizabeth prodded, raising one eyebrow and dropping her hands to her hips. "I think I'm almost offended."

"I have to say I didn't," John said defensively. "Can't just go admitting I though the days when you wore the V-neck were the best days to go to a meeting." His arms found their way tentatively around her waist. "I think I miss you in red."

"Well, Rodney always wore blue, and you seemed to like black..." Elizabeth trailed off into memories of the mass of meetings where she must have worn that shirt. "...just never had a reason to develop much of a wardrobe."

Shrugging as he held a little tighter, John nodded. "I just take what the Air Force gives me," he admitted easily. "It's not too bad though."

"I was just thinking I might want to request a different size when we order more uniforms," Elizabeth explained as she stared at herself in the mirror.

"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" John wondered nervously. "I thought it took..."

"Well, I thought..." she started, staring down at his hands wound over her stomach. "...I guess I am getting ahead, I just feel so different."

"You didn't throw up today?" John pried protectively.

The stubble on his chin scratched her neck. Elizabeth shook her head and added her hands over his. "Nope," she promised. "There was this moment in my office, when they were welding or melting something in the control room..."

"I'm sorry," he interrupted. "I really am."

"Today was a good day," Elizabeth said as she patted his wrist. "Maybe tomorrow will be too."

"Maybe today was the average and yesterday was bad?" John hoped as he released her with a kiss on the neck. "I don't think you'll need a new uniform just yet. You can always take my pants." He headed back to the bed, sitting on the edge to pull off his boots.

"Really?" she asked with a tilt of her head. The mirror still hid what she was looking for, refusing to show the changes she felt in her body. "You'd give me your pants?"

"I'll need them back," John teased as he shoved his boots away towards the door. "Eventually. You can always just keep borrowing, move up to Rodney's after mine."

Giggling as she collapsed onto the bed next to him, Elizabeth jumped when he leaned down to her boots. Untying them for her, he jumped out of the way when she kicked at him playfully.

"I'll keep your idea in mind," she murmured, pulling her feet up on the bed. "I liked the movie."

"I thought you would," John caught her face, running his fingers down her cheek to her lips. One finger ran across them, surprising her with the leftover taste of popcorn on his skin. "It's a classic."

"Why haven't I heard of it?" Elizabeth wondered as his hand wandered down her shirt.

"Because you obviously didn't hang out with the right people in college," John explained lightly as his hand ran down to her stomach.

"I didn't do much of anything in college," Elizabeth told him sheepishly. "I studied a lot and 'hung out' very little. I barely even went on a date for most of graduate school."

"You're a workaholic," John said as he opened his fingers to hold her stomach. "Were back then too, I'll bet."

"I..." she shut her mouth. "I am."

"Did I tell you where you fell asleep yesterday?" John offered as he pulled her back to the bed. He curled around her, lying over her side.

Elizabeth nodded silently, squeezing her fingers into his hair.

"Promise me you'll be careful?" John begged; taking her hand and playing with her fingers. "No more days without sleep stunts?"

"I can't," Elizabeth said as she rolled onto her side away from him. "Not completely, I am the leader of this city, John." She sighed as she felt him sit up behind her. "I will try."

"That's what I want," John said. Lying back down next to her he put his hands up underneath his head. "We both have to make different choices now."

"Is that why you gave up the Artemis?" Elizabeth asked him without turning back. "I heard you refused to even let General O'Neill give it to you."

"I can't go flying around on a battleship," John replied as if it was the craziest idea he'd ever heard. "I'm your military commander, not your Captain Kirk."

Elizabeth rolled back, hugging him quickly with one arm thrown over his chest. "I know you must have wanted it," she apologized softly.

"Nahhh," he said, shaking his head at the ceiling. "If you think about it Atlantis is a much bigger battleship. The Artemis is exciting, but Atlantis is where the good toys are."

"I think I get it now," Elizabeth agreed as she sat up enough to kiss him. "Thank you, for being so committed to staying on Atlantis."

"All the good things are here," John repeated firmly enough to convince her. Her eyes went wet as he stared up at her. Moisture sparkled on his lashes, and was left behind on his face as she leaned down to kiss him.

He explored her mouth, sighing into her lips when she let him keep kissing her. His hand slid beneath her shirt, teasing it up her back. He was searching for the clasp of her bra when the radio flared to life and ruined what promised to be a very pleasant evening.

Elizabeth groaned as she broke away from kissing his neck.

John sat up and started thinking about football, hockey, Wraith, and anything, but the way her breasts swelled promisingly beneath the clingy black fabric that covered them.

She fished her radio off the crate they'd stolen as an impromptu piece of furniture and tucked it into her ear. "This is Doctor Weir," she said as she mouthed her apologies to John. "We'll be right there."

Elizabeth bent over, reaching for her boots from their place against the red-gray wall. "Zelenka got the sensors back online this afternoon. The night watch just discovered a large mass entering our solar system."

"Large like Daedalus large? Or Death Star large?" John demanded as his fingers flew through the motions of tying his shoes.

Elizabeth grabbed her blue jacket from the bathroom and tossed it on. "It's the same size as Atlantis," she uttered darkly as she led him out of their quarters. "I think they came to finish us off."

"Let's get them first," John suggested as his face turned to stone. "I'm getting really sick of these guys."

"You too?" Elizabeth asked rhetorically as she hit the control room on the transporter. In the last moment before the door opened into the control room, she kissed him, drawing strength from the way he responded. When the doors finally opened, she was ready.

John and Elizabeth weren't the only ones pulled out of bed. Jack's hair was a mess as he staggered out of the transporter a moment behind them. Carter and McKay were arguing passionately about something technical as they chased each other up the stairs. Caldwell and Teyla seemed to be the only ones put together. Ronon grinned somewhat tipsily as he followed Teyla up into the briefing room.

With her senior staff assembled, Elizabeth turned to McKay and Zelenka. "Report," she requested as she folded her arms over her chest.

"The sensors registered a large mass moving towards us," Zelenka started, turning around to call up the sensor data. "As soon as it got close enough I compared it to the specifications from Atlantis, and it's the same mass and size..."

"...and from that we were able to discern that the Replicators must have rebuilt their city ship to come after us," McKay finished anxiously. "Last time I came up with a brilliant plan that destroyed the ship from within..."

Zelenka and Carter shared an eye-rolling glance.

"...but this time we don't have that luxury, so I'm open to suggestions," Elizabeth finished for him as she looked at the exhausted faces around her.

"At least we got to watch the movie," Jack muttered across to John, who agreed as he fidgeted with one of the pockets on his jacket.

"The Artemis and the Daedalus don't have enough combined fire-power to get through a shield of that magnitude," Carter pointed out grimly. "Even with a ZPM on both ships, we'd never get through their shield without being destroyed."

"Okay then, that's not an option," Elizabeth said, looking from Carter to McKay and Zelenka. "I'm told that you three are the most brilliant people in two galaxies. How long do we have?"

"Four, maybe three hours," Zelenka promised. "It takes a long time to decelerate that kind of mass from hyper-space."

"There are systems coming on all over the city we can't access," Rodney complained grumpily. "Some of them appear to be weapon systems, but again, we can't access them."

"There's some kind of fire-wall," Zelenka explained. "We can't get into the control subroutines..."

"...we know they're there, we just can't get in," Rodney finished impatiently. "We just need some time, I, we'll get it."

"Okay, you three come up with something and present it in an hour," Elizabeth ordered, slightly relieved neither Caldwell or Jack had questioned her authority. "Teyla, I want you to ask any of your people with technical skill if they'd be willing to help us fly our new ship."

Nodding as she tugged on Ronon's arm, Teyla dragged him down the steps towards the gate. "We will also find some strong tea," she directed him.

The gate began to dial and Ronon just shrugged. "I can kill Replicators drunk or sober," he explained simply. "Either way they end up dead."

Elizabeth leaned over to John, who had been stuck to her side the enter, brief meeting. "I want you in the chair, Ancient technology has a huge mental component and if somehow you have to break the code that way..."

"...I'll find it," John said, nodding and squeezing her arm. "Back in an hour."

Jack lifted his arms from the console he was leaning on and hurried to follow him. "Mind if I?"

"No, go ahead, Sir," John offered quickly. "You've probably been in the damn thing as often as I have."

"Son," Jack began with his best patronizing look. "I discovered the chair."

"Steven-" Elizabeth pulled him away from the still not functioning communications console. "Feel free to say no if you think this is a bad idea..."

He smiled softly. "How much am I going to hate it?" he teased with a dead-pan expression.

"I don't know," Elizabeth returned dryly. "I haven't told you yet."

"I'm listening."

"I want you to take a ZPM and a skeleton crew and head for Earth," she revealed, feeling the headache start behind her eyes. "Neither ship is a match for that vessel out there, and I know Hermiod can get the most out of your engines."

"Sure you just don't want to throw a message through the gate tied to a rock?" Caldwell joked, trying to lighten her mood.

Elizabeth rubbed her temples, walking to the balcony and leaning on the railing. When Caldwell came up behind her, she sighed. "Earth isn't answering. We've tried to dial them five times once communications came back on, each time we enter our IDCs but none of them seem to be functioning. I don't know if they were all deactivated, but even General O'Neill's code doesn't seem to work."

"Landry might think you've been compromised," Caldwell suggested as he tucked his hands into his pockets. "I'm afraid I don't have one to try."

"Colonel Carter's failed when we tried it after dinner," Elizabeth explained darkly. "Something's going on there, and..."

"...and you'd like me to take my ship and figure it out," Caldwell nodded quickly. He looked across the scattered people moving through the gate room. "I'll go through my crew and leave you as many as I can."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said warmly, relieved that one more problem had been solved for the moment.

"Mind if I ask a personal question?" Caldwell said as he watched Teyla and Ronon disappear into the rippling water of the gate.

"You and everyone else," Elizabeth murmured softly. Turning around to look over at poor Carter stuck between Zelenka and McKay, she started to smile. "Go ahead."

"You feeling all right?" Caldwell asked gently, shuffling his feet as he turned to look at her. "You're a little pale."

"I'm fine," she replied immediately, relieved John wasn't here to see her. "Just haven't been outside in two weeks."

"I suppose that would do it," Caldwell agreed as his hands emerged from his pockets. "I'll radio when the Daedalus is ready to take off."

"Take care," she tilted her head towards him. "Be safe."

"Just a little Sunday drive between galaxies," Caldwell called back. He waved a hand back over his shoulder. "Keep the city in one piece until I get back."

Elizabeth went to the three geniuses next, drawing Carter out of the argument. "I want you on your ship, Colonel," she requested gently. "We might not get the chance to send you before that Replicator ship arrives and I'm going to need your expertise to get your crew ready. Radio Caldwell and have him start beaming up the people that you need."

Carter cast one look back at Rodney and Zelenka before nodding her acknowledgment. "I'll see you when it's over," she stated simply, making it clear it wasn't a question.

"Of course," Elizabeth promised hopefully. "Jack was already telling me about his plan for movie night next week."
~*~*~*~*~

---

"Just close your eyes and think about opening doors," Jack instructed as he watched the chair glow blue beneath John's head.

John smirked as his eyes moved beneath his eyelids. "That easy huh?" he asked sarcastically, twitching his feet out of frustration. "It couldn't just be a set of numbers? I usually like puzzles, big fan of Sudoku."

"Always been more into Tetris myself," Jack said as he circled the chair. "Carter's always trying me to get me to learn crossword puzzles. Any luck?"

"I think I'm just giving myself a headache," John answered with a sigh, sitting up he moved his feet.

Jack stood up, lowering an arm to drag John out of the chair. "I wanna try for awhile," he explained, helping the younger man down to the floor.

"Maybe you can figure it out," John hoped, kicking the side of the platform and trying not to think about the Replicator city bearing down on them.

"You could try to send her away..." Jack began slowly, knowing as well as John did she'd never agree. "Talk her into staying with the Athosians, they're good people, good food."

"She'll never," John confirmed quickly, walking past the display as Jack leaned back. The chair activated, sending blue light through metal. "No matter what happens, she'll never leave the city."

"There's something deeply attractive about stubborn women, isn't there?" Jack asked rhetorically. He relaxed into the chair, shutting his eyes as he ran through the systems with his mind. The star map erupted over his head, filling the ceiling with a thousand points of light. The power display on the wall climbed to just over a third and hung there.

"Do you think it's something beyond us? " John asked to the wall as he drummed his fingers impatiently on it. "When the Ancients from the Tria first showed up and tried to get us to leave; Helia did something, pulled some kind of pillar out of the floor. Turned things on we've never seen before."

"And you think we can't get in because we're not Ancients?" Jack wondered grumpily, opening his eyes to look up at the star map spinning lazily around his head. "Well that would be annoying."

"I want to be wrong" John answered with a shrug. He leaned against the wall, digging his feet into the floor in frustration. "If we even get going, how fast is an intergalactic hyper-drive engine like this one?"

"Don't tell the little gray guys," Jack advised with a shake of his head. "But, Carter says it's better than the Asgard."

"Shouldn't argue with Carter," John agreed as he stared blankly up at the star map. "If she's anything like McKay."

"She's way more attractive than McKay..." Jack corrected immediately, temporarily losing focus on the star map.

"If you like blondes," John teased back, abruptly realizing that he might have gone too far. He put his hands behind his back, locking his fingers together. "Sir."

Jack just chuckled dryly in the chair. "Maybe I had a little too much fun with that Czech guy and his vodka...why don't you try again, Colonel?"

"Yes, Sir," John said, switching places with the general and calling back up the map. "Do you think we could really take them? If we got the city flying?"

"They're just Replicators..." Jack sighed and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants. "They're cold, unfeeling machines. We have ingenuity."

"Ingenuity doesn't seem to be getting us through this damn firewall," John complained. Above his head, the Pegasus galaxy swirled lazily, as if it was waiting for him to act. He wondered what Elizabeth was doing in command. If the geek trinity of Carter, Zelenka and McKay had come up with something, they would have radioed. He drifted with the stars for a moment, his tired mind wandering through the planets he thought they'd been too.

Finally, focusing on a tiny point of light on the very edge of the galaxy John put the full force of his mind into the single thought that he wanted to be there.

Jack saw the chair erupt with a blue-white light so bright it encompassed all of John's body. On the wall the display panel shot past halfway, flying all the way to ninety percent of capacity. He desperately tapped his radio. "I think we did it," Jack yelled over the deep rumble that filled the entire room.

"General?" Rodney's voice came back comfortingly. "Whatever you did is driving the computer crazy, I can't even get in right now. I can tell you the inertial dampeners just came on, along with some kind of force-field."

"The water-filled parts of the city are emptying," Zelenka added with astonishment.

"You did it John," Elizabeth gushed excitedly.

"I don't think he can hear you," Jack had to explain. "There's something here, with light, I don't know how to describe it. Maybe you should send someone..."
~*~*~*~*~

---

John only saw light. He was standing, somehow, in an empty, wall-less room that went on in all directions. His feet hung in the air without gravity. His hands floated by his sides and he didn't seem to be breathing.

"You are seeking..." A disembodied voice drifted around him in the light. "Why should you be allowed control of Atlantis?"

"I need to defend my people," John conceded. He wondered how he could speak without breathing. "The Replicators are coming."

"I do not know the Replicators," The voice came from behind him.

He tried to turn around, but his body spun without his control. She hung in the air, clad only in a see-through white dress that seemed to be part of the light around them. She looked like Elizabeth, but an Elizabeth with pure white eyes.

"You are not Alterran," Not-Elizabeth accused him.

"I'm human," John explained pathetically, wishing she had chosen to look like someone else. "And you're not Elizabeth."

"She was in your mind," Not-Elizabeth said without emotion. "Form was required. Human is acceptable, you carry the key."

"The gene?" John wondered aloud, watching as Not-Elizabeth nodded once.

"The key to Atlantis," Not-Elizabeth added without bothering to clarify. "You must be worthy of what you seek."

"What do I seek?" John demanded forlornly. "I didn't mean to seek anything."

"You wish to control Atlantis," Not-Elizabeth said dully. "Atlantis is power. Why should this be allowed?"

"Because we need to get the hell away from the Replicators before they kill us," John spat out angrily. His rage tinged the light around him, darkening the blue to a reddish hue. "I don't think you want them controlling Atlantis, because, trust me, they're way worse than anything I'd ever do."

Not-Elizabeth shrank back. "You are angry," she noticed quietly.

"Of course I'm angry," John tore his hand from the force that held it and shook it at her. "While I'm here my people are suffering. My people will die if you don't let me go."

"No time has passed," Not-Elizabeth promised softly, revealing her sorrow. "Show me your heart," she commanded finally.

John fell to the floor, suddenly released from the force. "Why?" he wondered as he picked himself up.

"Truth is in the heart," Not-Elizabeth justified. She moved towards him, he couldn't say she walked because he couldn't see her feet beneath the dress. "You are John Sheppard. You are human, you call yourself Colonel."

"Lieutenant Colonel, United States Air Force," John volunteered.

Not-Elizabeth nodded as she took it in. "She is in your mind," she said.

John sighed, wondering if he should bother hiding anything. "I love her," he said without hesitation.

"Love is precious," Not-Elizabeth replied with the first emotion he'd heard from her.

"So is Elizabeth," John grabbed her shoulders, trying not to think about the fact that he was arguing with someone who looked like just like her about Elizabeth. "If you don't let me turn on the engines, and the weapons, she- Elizabeth, you- whoever you are, are all going to die."

"Death is only the beginning," Not-Elizabeth said cryptically, remaining limp in his grasp.

"I'm not ready to begin yet," John begged, drawing closer to her, looking through the white space where Elizabeth's eyes should have been. "I still have things to do. If you know what I'm thinking, which you claim to, you know Elizabeth is pregnant." He leaned closer, nearly touching her translucent lips. "Do you know what that means? It means out of all the things I have left to do, I have to be a dad."

"Life is dynamic," she said, tilting her head as she studied him. "Life continues."

"Yes, yes it will, if you let me turn on the star drive," John slid his hand up to her chin marveling at the way touching her tingled his skin.

"Show me your heart," Not-Elizabeth commanded again.

"You're a hopeless romantic, you know that?" John teased her nervously, knowing she'd never understand. "She is my heart..." Her nose touched his cheek as he leaned closer still; when he kissed her, she finally understood.

Not-Elizabeth dissolved into a thousand points of light, becoming the star map over his head.

"You are worthy, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard," Not-Elizabeth's voice ran through his head and in an instant, he understood.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Twisting his hand in the soft controls in the arm of the chair, he coaxed the inertial dampeners to life, and then he started to power the star drive. Feeling the energy build within the city, he opened his eyes. "Tell everyone to hold on," he yelled to whoever was there to hear him.

He heard voices yelling over radios over the rumble of the engines. The star map faded, turning black before becoming a massive heads-up-display. Atlantis groaned sleepily, spewing the last of the water from the passages they hadn't even discovered yet. Deep in the bowels of the city, everything woke.

Way up in the command center, Elizabeth ran to the edge of the balcony and watched the water boil beneath them. The city jolted once, sending a mass of spray in all directions. She clung to the railing, keeping her feet as the city leapt into the sky. Once they'd left the ocean, the inertial dampeners helped them feel like they weren't moving at all.

"Jack, can you hear me?" Elizabeth demanded from the radio in her ear. "We've taken off, we're leaving the water."

Jack was laughing, giddy with excitement when he replied. "You've got to see this, Elizabeth. I really can't explain it."

So she went, hurrying through the halls of her city, stopping in front of each window as clouds flew past the stained glass. It was like being in a plane during lift-off, except that she felt nothing; no acceleration, no lowering pressure, nothing she usually associated with flying. Atlantis just rose into the heavens as if it was flying on thought alone

Rodney met her at the base of the tower. "There are systems coming on that we've never even seen before," he blurted out, completely astonished. "Power levels are higher than we thought the city could go, even with three ZPMs. When John dismantled the firewall he unlocked parts of the computer we didn't even know existed."

"Anything we can use?" Elizabeth asked pragmatically. New systems were undoubtedly exciting, but they needed a plan. They needed weapons that could defeat the Replicators.

"Zelenka's found energy weapons ," Rodney revealed as they entered the chair room together. "He said they weren't there, and then, suddenly they were. The firewall's completely gone."

"John did that?" Elizabeth mused with a tiny smile of pride.

"He did," Jack said, pointing up and drawing their attention to the ceiling.

A ceiling that appeared to have vanished entirely. Had she not just been in the control tower, Elizabeth never would have believed that the starscape above them was a projection. Beneath it was John in the chair, his face quiet with concentration. The atmosphere of the planet that had so long been their home dissipated around them as Atlantis returned to the stars.

Elizabeth walked over to the platform, taking a step and touching the back of his hand. John opened his eyes, directing a smile up at her. "I passed the test," he announced proudly.

"There was a test?" Elizabeth posed, confused by his calm.

"Something in the city," he said as his eyes closed again. "We hadn't been deep enough before."

Elizabeth returned to the main floor, looking from Jack to Rodney in surprise. "Is that possible?"

Rodney shrugged, trying to make sense of it in his head. "Anything's possible when we know so little about Ancient technology," he admitted. "It seems probable that they might have left something in the computer to prevent just anyone from getting full access, and consider how much they depend on a mental component to run things..."

"John turned the key the right way in his head?" Jack translated, reaching over to pat John's shoulder proudly. "Good work, son."

The planet fell away to the left, a swirling blue ball smattered with white. On their left the Artemis was a tiny silver creature, like a bird seen from a plane. Jack waved slightly, mouthing hello to Carter when he thought no one was watching.

"So we have energy weapons?" Elizabeth asked, trying to keep herself caught up.

"Oh do we have energy weapons," Rodney held up his computer, grinning like he'd been giving the secrets of the universe. "We have twelve long-range cannons, like the one on that satellite. We also have two high powered ones that are either long-range, or just really powerful up close." He scrolled through his computer, staring through it.

"Oh my God," Rodney exclaimed suddenly. "Energy weapons, how could I..." he trailed off as he nearly ran towards the door. "I have an idea; just keep us flying until I figure it out."

John rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, willing the ship into a death-dance with the other city. Elizabeth returned to his side, craning her neck to watch the stars spin around them. "It's beautiful," she said to no one in particular.

Jack nodded behind her, startling her with a hand on her shoulder. "The universe might be cruel, heartless and down-right mean sometimes," he started philosophically, "But, it is lovely at the same time."

"John, are you okay?" Elizabeth wondered, peering down at him.

"I don't think I can tell you how cool this is," John said with complete awe. "I used to think a puddle jumper was as good as it got, but this...it's like being able to actually fly through space. I can feel the gravity of the planet, smell the space dust." He tore his eyes from the display long enough to wink at her. "This is why I became a pilot."

"He's gone..." Jack mocked with as serious of an expression as he could muster. "You'll never get him back."

Elizabeth touched his hair, reminding him that he had the best reasons to come back. "I'm going back to command," she told Jack because she knew he was listening. "I'll try to get Rodney to explain his idea to us mere mortals."

"Oh good luck with that," Jack wished her sardonically. "I've been trying to learn to speak Carter for ten years."
~*~*~*~*~*~

---

Two hours later, Elizabeth finally succeeded.

"We can use the original plan!" Rodney began, his hands shaking as he pointed to the diagram in the conference room. "The city has energy weapons, which is great, but the really interesting part involves the shield. If I tie together the emitters from the weapons systems and shield's ability to create an energy field I should be able to use our shields and weapons in concert..."

"Creating an energy wave that'll knock out the Replicators on the other ship," Carter finished for him from the communications station on the table. "Nicely done, McKay."

Pouting slightly that she'd stolen the end of his idea, Rodney sank back into his chair. "Of course, the downside is even if it works we might have to go through resetting the weapons and shields again."

"What are the chances of it not working?" Elizabeth demanded firmly, praying he'd have good news for her.

"Only ten...twenty percent," Rodney started to defend himself. "And even if the ARG part of it fails we're still hitting them with a massive pulse of energy. Assuming their systems are anything like ours..."

"...which they definitely seem to be," John finished for him, tapping his hand nervously on the table. Elizabeth stopped him by covering his hand. She had promised she'd send him back to the chair as soon as the meeting was done. Until then poor Carson was stuck with keeping Atlantis level in space.

"The city has stopped approaching us," Zelenka reported from his place at one of the corners of the huge table. "They might be waiting for something, setting a trap, who knows with Replicators."

"I'm afraid this time it's going to be our trap," Elizabeth decided. "Rodney, Zelenka, I want you two to figure it out. Do what you do best and reconnect everything you need to. Colonel Carter, I'd like you to keep an eye on them for us, stay as close as you can while maintaining a safe distance."

"Yes, Ma'am," Carter agreed from the radio. "I'll try to get my crew up to speed."

"How are Teyla and Ronon holding up?" John asked the radio. "Are they having fun?"

"Teyla's people are quick learners, I could use some Air Force Cadets that were this bright," Carter joked lightly. "Artemis out."

Jack stared at the radio a second longer than everyone else.

John left the table, ready to head back down to the chair room. Catching his shoulder by the door, Jack shook his head. "Let me relieve Beckett for awhile, I haven't got to try it yet."

"Yes, Sir," John agreed quietly, disappointment dancing across his face before he smiled. "Have fun Sir."

"Oh thank you," Jack returned cheerfully as he rubbed his hands together. "I intend to."

"No joyrides!" Elizabeth called after him, using the table to help pull herself to her feet. Her watch read just past oh-three-hundred hours. She'd intended to go to bed hours ago. The coffee from the mess hall sat neatly in the corner of the conference room. She knew she shouldn't, but exhaustion weighed on her mind. All the people who had filed out of the room before her were counting on her. John drove the city, Rodney solved the unsolvable problems, and she held it together.

She was alone. No one saw her fill the cup with black coffee and gulp it down. Silently apologizing to her unborn baby, Elizabeth wondered if her child would understand someday. Would her child have to make these decisions? Or by some grace unknown to her would her child have a chance to grow up in a peaceful galaxy? It seemed unlikely, considering that every galaxy they encountered seemed to be filled with another all powerful enemy.

Elizabeth filled her glass with water and drank it quickly. She was just in time when John poked his head around the door. "You coming back up to control?"

"Yeah, just needed a drink," she lied pathetically, feeling guilt knot her stomach.

John kissed her forehead, smiling at her hopefully. "You wanted a plan, and you got one," he said. His hands wrapped around her back, surprising her slightly.

"I did, didn't I?" Elizabeth returned his smile, hoping he didn't see the guilt in her eyes. "Should use the Replicators as a threat more often, seems easier to get things done that way."

"Not too often," John pleaded as he dug his fingers into the tight muscles of her lower back. "It'll just get old after awhile."

Elizabeth clung to him as the kneading of his fingers sent tension screaming out of her back. "God, who told you to do that?" she demanded breathlessly.

"Carson mentioned it might be killing you," John admitted with a proud smirk. "He's a smart guy." She moaned and leaned into his touch, reminding him what they'd been pulled away from when the Daedalus arrived. He let Elizabeth lean on his chest, enjoying the clean smell of her hair.

"Remind me to put you in for another promotion," Elizabeth teased gratefully, standing on her toes to kiss him. "Back to work?"

"I suppose we have to, don't we?" John said, catching her chin with strong fingers. "You okay?"

Elizabeth nodded her way out of his grasp. "Yeah," she promised. "It's just getting to be a long day."

"Sorry about that," he said, leading the way to back out into control. "I tried to talk them into attacking later in the day, it just didn't work out."

"Well, you did try..." Elizabeth replied, locking her fingers with his.
~*~*~*~*~

---

"They must have seen us through the magnetic field of the planet," Carter yelled over the explosions in the background of the radio signal. "We tried to run, but they took out our engines with the first shot."

"We'll be right there, Carter," Jack promised as he leaned over the communications console. "You just keep it in one piece until then."

Behind him Elizabeth whirled on Rodney. "Are we ready?" she urged, watching his hands fly over the console.

"I guess?" he said, fingers flying as he spoke. "Yes, yes I think so."

"If it doesn't work, can we go to hyperspace?" Elizabeth asked quietly, almost hoping he'd say no.

"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem," Rodney assured her, not realizing completely what that meant. "The system's entirely separate from the ones we jury-rigged together."

Jack met her eyes, destroying her confidence with a glance. Elizabeth stared back as long as she could before shutting her eyes, knowing how she'd feel if the colonel in danger was John. "All right, John, Rodney," she paused, swaying slightly on her feet as her stomach lurched desperately. "Let's do it."

John took the ship briefly into hyperspace, sending a wave of distortion through everyone's vision. Elizabeth's exhausted eyes only added to her nausea. Praying she could hold it together until the battle was done; she tasted the metallic adrenaline in her throat.

Down in the control chair, John felt the displacement of hyperspace surge through his body before he let go. Dropping the city in impossibly close to the Replicator city, he put Atlantis between the enemy and the damaged Artemis. The blasts of the other ship's weapons slammed into the shield so hard his teeth rattled. He could feel the energy as if the city were part of his body; or rather he was part of it.

He felt Rodney's corrections; the differences in the city Rodney had left. it was kind of like trying to hit someone with both hands tied together in front of him. John left the shield up for one more volley. As the phantom pain rolled through his body he struck back, pouring all the energy he could summon into one massive wave of energy. It ripped through him, carrying his soul with it, as all that was him melted with all that was the city.

In space, Atlantis exploded with a wave of energy that raced out like an amoebic arm, encompassing and engulfing the other ship. The last shots of the Replicator vessel cut into three of the towers, spewing air and wreckage into space. As Atlantis vomited wreckage, the other city seized, like her heart had been torn from her chest.

He brought the shield back, forcing the circuits to handle the energy. The sensor started to report, itching at his mind. Without hearing Rodney's voice scream that ZPMs were about to overload, or looking at any of the data in front of him, John felt the death throes of the other city. Reaching out with the shields he cupped the Artemis, holding it safely beneath Atlantis as if he was holding a flower out of the rain.

The explosion ripped through space, sending heat, light, and raw energy pounding through his body. It ran over and through him, cracking across the shields he held forcibly in place. Elizabeth was beneath those shields and he'd die before anything happened to her. The city shared his wish, obediently sacrificing some of the other towers to keep the shields around her heart and the tiny form of the Artemis.

When the explosion faded into the blackness of space, he felt the Artemis limp inside on thrusters and momentum alone. John moved the great city to assist the ship's landing on the south pier. He pulled the city into a slow orbit of the Lantian star, letting it sleep.

John came out of the chair, sitting up and blinking his eyes. His own body felt small, confining and restrictive. His feet swung over the edge of the chair and he rolled out of it.

Major Lorne was waiting for him as he swayed to his feet. "You got them, Sir," he congratulated respectfully. "Nicely done."

"Didn't mean to blow them up," John said, rolling his head across his neck. He felt disconnected, like his feet were a poor substitute for thrusters.

"I think they deserved it, Sir," Lorne suggested as he moved up to the chair.

"Keep it warm for me?" John teased, starting down towards the door.

"That's why I'm here," Lorne quipped dryly, "To keep the city from falling into any black holes while you get some rest."

"That's thoughtful of you," John called back as he heard the chair come on. He felt tiny as he walked through the city. Like he'd been shrunk to the size of one of his cells and had to walk through his own blood vessels. He passed more scientists in the hall with damage control kits and the air smelt of smoke and burnt metal. Dragging himself up the stairs to command, John looked immediately for Elizabeth.

Rodney was dealing with computer system, helping Zelenka deal with the myriad repair requests flooding in from the city. He looked up briefly and nodded. "Nice explosion," he congratulated.

"I do what I can," John forced his feet to keep walking through the room.
"Have you seen Elizabeth?"

"Ahh," Rodney chirped sympathetically. "Bathroom down the way."

"Too much shaking," Zelenka added just as gently, "Or was it the smoke?"

Rodney raised his eyebrows and put up a finger to make his point; "It was the smoke, I think," he agreed. "General O'Neill went with her."

John looked across both men and felt like he was a walking target and no one had told him. "Thanks," he shrugged tentatively. Down more stairs and he found his way to the bathroom.

There was no sign of the general as he peered in shyly. Elizabeth was hunched over the sink, spitting water as she rinsed her mouth. Looking up at his worried expression in the mirror, her face fell. "Oh, hi," she said.

"I guess I made the ride a little too bumpy," John quipped as he pulled himself up to sit on the counter next to the sink. Leaning back against the steel mirror on the wall, he watched as her hand trembling slightly on the faucet. "You okay?"

"Maybe?" Elizabeth ventured as she rinsed out her mouth a second time. "I really was doing all right, it's just five in the morning now, and I haven't slept. The stars went flying past the window...I never used to get motion-sickness."

"You can't keep doing this Elizabeth," John urged her with deep concern. "You haven't slept, I haven't seen you eat since the popcorn. You're so tired flying with inertial dampeners is making your queasy."

"It's probably just me, making me queasy," Elizabeth admitted as she rubbed the tension from her temples. "We lost five people when tower six was hit, John. Another four died and twenty-three more were injured on the Artemis. Carson has everyone with any medical training down in the infirmary to give him a hand."

He slipped from the counter and caught her, wrapping his arms tightly around her back instead of saying anything. Elizabeth stood there for a moment, too exhausted to move. When her hands went around her neck, John knew everything was going to be all right. "Teyla? Ronon?" he asked down toward her head.

"They're okay," Elizabeth lifted her head and stared at his chest darkly. "Carter took a blow to the abdomen; she's on Carson's surgical list."

"And the general's down with her?" John asked rhetorically as she nodded.

"Carson has to take the nastier cases first," Elizabeth said, shaking her head. "He's going to come through this the worst for wear I'm afraid. There's just so much death."

"Not all of its death," he reminded her as he kissed her forehead. "You're okay, I'm okay...selfishly, I have to admit I'm feeling pretty good."

Elizabeth choked, but successfully fought off her tears. "Come with me down there, to the infirmary? I should be there for Jack."

"Yeah, okay," John agreed, watching her fight with her emotional control. "You know, it's okay if you aren't always..."

"I know," Elizabeth said, biting her lip against her exhaustion. "I just, can't."

"Okay," John whispered as he settled for taking her hand. "Maybe cafeteria first? I know eating's the last thing on your mind..." he drifted off, pulling her to a stop before she left the bathroom. "...Carson said you could lose the baby if you're not careful. I know I can't get you to sleep, but I won't let you keep going without eating something."

"All right John," Elizabeth agreed softly, feeling guilt wash over her for the coffee she'd had earlier. "I'll eat."

Jack had a section of the wall in the hallway to himself. Elizabeth almost went past him, but John recognized the graying hair and stopped them. Kneeling down in front of him, Elizabeth put her hand on his shoulder.

"How's she doing?" Elizabeth asked softly. John looked up and down the hallway, the more mobile injured were treating their fellow patients. The whole hallway reeked of blood and the disgusting odor of singed flesh.

"Got moved to the front of the line when she threw up blood," Jack reported monotonically. He fidgeted with a scrap of metal, turning it over and over in his hands.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth apologized tentatively, taking a place on the wall next to him. "Carson's an excellent surgeon."

Jack shrugged, keeping his eyes on his piece of metal. "Suppose..." he trailed off, studying the edges of the fragment. "There's a point where you realize you've been sitting outside hospitals for the longest moments of your life, and it's really a waste." He stopped moving his hands and met Elizabeth's eyes with his own haunted ones. "I wonder why I can't remember fishing where the hours turned into weeks. Or why Charlie laughing isn't in the front of my brain.

"When I lie alone at night too long before sleeping I can hear the people that I've lost. Charlie, Kowalski, Janet...Daniel, then not Daniel, then Daniel again..." he let the words drop. "Do you know what they say?"

John thought he could guess. Colonel Sumner had haunted his dreams for more than a year. Elizabeth just waited, silently listening.

"They tell me life is short," Jack explained as he tossed the fragment into the wall across from him as hard as he could.

Elizabeth jumped, wincing as the shards fell softly to the floor. John reached for her knee, taking what he could of her to hold onto.

"And I don't listen," Jack admitted harshly, looking at his dirty hands and the blood drying on his uniform. "I move to Washington, I get promoted, I forget what's important." Slapping John's face suddenly startled the hell out of the younger man. "Don't do that," he ordered. "Don't be a bitter old man in an empty hallway."

John said nothing because nothing seemed to be right. He felt Elizabeth's little fingers slip inside of his and knew his hallway moments wouldn't be alone anymore. His chest tightened, threatening to keep him from breathing.

"And you," Jack pointed to Elizabeth, his hand shaking as he looked into her eyes. "You..."

She hugged him, cradling him as the world stopped within him. John sat back, watching as the man who stood up to so many monsters crumbled in the face of being alone.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Rodney had to send a lieutenant to fetch them. When Carson let the general into the infirmary, Elizabeth's watch had slipped past seven hundred. By the time someone came looking for the two of them it was nearly eight. John held her as she lay curled in his lap. Her eyes were open; her breath was slow and regular, but neither of them could sleep. Their quarters waited for them, but neither of them tried to stand up.

The poor lieutenant had stood over them for nearly a minute before John noticed. "We're receiving a signal from the Daedalus, Sir;" he began to report, "Colonel Caldwell says he'll only speak to Doctor Weir or General O'Neill."

"Thank you," Elizabeth murmured as she sat up. Getting to her feet and waiting for John, she tossed a glance back towards the infirmary. Carson still had hours of work ahead of him, and she knew he wouldn't rest until all his patients had his best efforts. "Do me a favor and make sure Carson and his staff all get something to eat?"

"Yes, Ma'am," the lieutenant said as he nodded quickly and headed for the cafeteria.

"So, control room?" Elizabeth ventured sleepily.

John nodded and started to walk; being with her gave him a reason to continue. He barely even felt his own exhaustion when he watched her smile bravely at the people they passed. The people of Atlantis had paid a bigger price than the city this time, and people took longer to repair. Silence was easier than speaking; he couldn't say how his heart would stop if he'd switched places with the general and Elizabeth lay in surgery.

"Eleven dead?" Elizabeth whispered to him when the doors of the transporter shut them away from the people under her command. "We've never buried so many."

"Carter will make it," John predicted as hopefully as he could. "She's got a lot to live for."

"God, I don't think..." Elizabeth left the end unsaid. "She'll make it," she agreed as she managed to smile at him.

John was trying to decide where she found the strength when he realized the transporter was about to open onto the control room. She was smiling for Rodney. So that when she stepped out of the doors, Elizabeth was as reassuring as she could be.

"Elizabeth, good, Caldwell refuses to tell me what's happened," Rodney said, glaring at Caldwell's image on the screen. "It was a bit of genius to bounce your signal off one of the Milky Way gates and then trigger my gate-dialing macro."

"You can thank Hermiod for that," Caldwell noted, glancing at McKay.

For his part Rodney shrugged; "I would have come up with that," he pointed out.

Elizabeth patted his shoulder, nodding at Caldwell's resolute expression. "I'm here Colonel, what happened out there?" she said, waiting with John at her side.

"We're currently on route to the Alpha site," Caldwell began as all the emotion drained from his face. John watched his eyes grow cold and wondered what was coming. Even Elizabeth was getting stiff. "We tried to raise Earth as soon as we came out of hyper-space, but we got no response. At my discretion we tried to get close enough for a fly-by..." he stopped, swallowing slowly and looking down before he could continue. "Earth is..."

He paused again, leaning forward in his chair and resting his hands on his thighs. "...I've never seen anything like it."

"What did you see, Steven?" Elizabeth coaxed, feeling her heart sink cold into her stomach.

"There's nothing left," he whispered dully, like his voice came from a tomb.

"Nothing?" Rodney repeated softly. He jumped from his chair, turning to the screen in desperation. "The SGC? Underground? There have to be some survivors...I mean...nothing, nothing?"

Elizabeth took a step forward, unable to feel her body. "Who?"

"Replicators," he stammered, trying to find the strength to keep speaking. "At least twenty, maybe thirty or more battleships. They must have been planning to take both city-ships when they defeated Atlantis."

"We have to take it back!" Rodney realized suddenly. He whirled on Elizabeth, grabbing her shoulder and shoving her a step backwards. "We have the shield-weapon, we took out their city, we can take out their ships..."

"We can't," John explained grimly as he pried Rodney's hand from her shoulder. "We can't take twenty of those ships, the shield's running on minimum power as it is right now."

"We have to!" Rodney screamed at him. "That's our home, our home planet, my parents...my sister..."

Elizabeth nodded to John, asking him to back off with her eyes. She put a quiet hand on Rodney's trembling shoulder. "We can't..." her own voice failed her for a moment, "...we can't help them."

"There's no one to help, Doctor," Caldwell finished as he dropped his head into his hands. "We circled the planet as long as Hermiod thought our shield would hold. We scanned, poured as much into the sensors as we could. Earth, is a wasteland. A lifeless ball of rock crawling with Replicator recovery teams." He looked up with disgust painted all over his face. "They're mining it for raw materials."

John shivered and felt like all the heat had left the room. His car, his crappy apartment in Antarctica, and everywhere he'd ever been was gone.

Elizabeth kept her eyes on the screen, as if nothing could pry her away. "The Alpha site? Surely some of them..."

"We contacted them as soon as we got clear," Caldwell forced himself to focus. "We're on our way as soon as we finish."

"I want you to loan them the ZPM," Elizabeth ordered stoically. John watched her sink deeper into her quietest strength. "Gate as many of the survivors here as you can, before the Replicators can find you. Then come home, Steven," she urged. "Come straight back, we'll need you."

"It doesn't even look like Earth from space," Caldwell's thoughts slipped unbidden from his lips. "I couldn't recognize anything. The oceans boiled in the onslaught and the whole planet's buried in a haze of dust."

"Where's the Odyssey?" Elizabeth pressed gently. "Do you think it was destroyed?"

"She made it to the Alpha site," Caldwell replied with some hope. "Colonel Emerson executed General Landry's standing order Omega before he left orbit."

"Do you know who was recovered?" Elizabeth asked softly, ignoring John and Rodney's confused looks.

"No," Caldwell confessed as he turned to consult with one of his crew. "We can't risk being detected. We expect to reach the Alpha site within the next two hours. We will contact you then." He paused, searching for the right thing to say. "I'm so sorry..."

"Keep everyone safe, don't let them think..." Elizabeth's voice cracked under the strain, but she pulled herself back together. "...don't let anyone give up. We're still alive. There's still hope."

Caldwell didn't say anything before he signed off. John had never seen him look so empty. Rodney deflated, sinking into his chair as if all the strength had been sucked out of him. "I was going to see Jeannie for Christmas; she made me promise to get it off and with the gate bridge..."

Elizabeth reached for his shoulder again, but he pulled away like she'd burned him.

"What's standing order Omega?" he demanded angrily. "Why have I never heard of it?"

"It's classified," Elizabeth sighed heavily, feeling her head start to fog with exhaustion. "John, could you please?" she pointed weakly at the water pitcher in the corner and he returned immediately with a glass. He hauled her back, forcing her into the chair next to Rodney. "General Landry, General O'Neill, Colonel Caldwell, Colonel Emerson, and I are the only ones who know. I don't even think the president knows."

Drinking her water too quickly only made her head less connected to her body. John steadied her hand, slowing her down. "Careful," he cautioned. "You're pushing too hard."

"I need to," Elizabeth argued weakly, but let him rest his hand on her shoulder. "I will tell you when Caldwell radios back. I don't want to hurt you, Rodney...please believe me that it's best that you don't know."

He shoved his chair aside, leaving her and John alone in the control room. Elizabeth started to stand, but John held her down. "Let him go," he suggested softly. "He just needs to be alone."

"I want to tell him," Elizabeth whispered to the water in her glass. "I just don't want him, or anyone to hurt more than need be."

"Or get their hopes up?" John offered, wondering if he'd guessed correctly. "You can tell me, I don't have anyone on the next of kin list."

"I just can't stop thinking about my mother," Elizabeth whispered, finally losing her control. "She was so concerned when my father died; she always thought if I lost her, I'd be alone."

"You're not alone," John promised quickly, sinking down to his knees in front of her. "You'll never be alone."

"I just keep thinking I was avoiding telling her," she said, sliding off her chair and joining him on the floor. "I mean, I wrote the message a thousand times for the next data burst home. I meant to tell her. I just switched it out at the last minute, told myself I should wait."

"It's okay," John said, reaching out to brush her hair back from her eyes.

"How can it be okay?" she asked, losing her control and dropping her head to his chest. "They got to Earth."

"They didn't get us," John offered back. "I know it's not that comforting, but we're alive and we can still make them sorry they ever went to the Milky Way."

"Do you think that's the answer?" Elizabeth lifted her head slowly. Her eyes were too tired to cry. "Revenge?"

"Sometimes," John admitted, retrieving her glass of water from the console where she'd left it. "Sometimes you just need to kill the bastards who flew across galaxies to destroy your planet. Sometimes they need to suffer."

"They're machines," Elizabeth reminded him as she forced herself to drink. "How will they suffer?"

"Maybe they won't suffer," he said, feeling his stomach knot into a cold mass. "Maybe they'll just turn off and we'll never have to deal with them again."

"Can you trust me?" she begged, taking his hands and uncurling the fists he'd balled them into. "We have to be better than them. If we kill them it has to be because they're a danger to everything living in this galaxy, not because we're on a sick quest for revenge." Elizabeth stared into his eyes, searching for understanding. "Please, John."

"You can say that?" he wondered in astonishment. "You can sit there, knowing they murdered your mother, Rodney's sister, Beckett's family, and all the people of Earth in cold blood, and then ask me not to avenge them?" He got to his feet, shaking his head in disgust. "Do you know what you're asking me to do?"

"Be the man I love," Elizabeth whispered as she stared up at him. Getting to her feet was significantly harder than she expected, and without his aid she really wouldn't have made it. "I need to make it this way. I will not lead what's left of humanity on an empty quest for revenge. We do not kill indiscriminately."

"This is not the time to be on the moral high ground!" his voice rose just enough to make her wince. "We've been wiped out and we didn't stand a chance."

"We will not kill out of anger," she said resolutely, keeping her voice purposely beneath his. "We will not hate. We will be better."

"We won't survive!" John hissed back. "Everyone else out there is going to kill us the moment our guard comes down. We have to be ready to do the same thing."

"Taking advantage of an opportunity doesn't mean you have to enjoy it," Elizabeth argued, clinging to the console let her keep her feet beneath her.

"And you won't?" he accused her, knowing she couldn't claim that the death of all the Replicators meant nothing to her.

"I'll be relieved when we're safe..." Elizabeth replied, bringing her hand unknowingly to her stomach. "I'll sleep again knowing every, last, one of those things is dust." She took a shaky step towards him. "I will not have this become a crusade. John..."

He started to back away from her touch, but she caught his hand.

"...we have to think beyond ourselves," Elizabeth challenged him, bringing his hand to rest on her stomach. "What do you want this baby to be born into? A hate-filled war against a brutally aggressive enemy? If that's what you want, maybe I should stop trying to take care of myself now..."

Both of his hands flew to catch her shoulders, digging into her skin so tightly they threatened to leave marks. "Don't," he whispered, feeling the anger lodge in his throat.

"I will fight the Replicators because they're a threat to innocent lives in both galaxies," Elizabeth swore without fear. "I will not slaughter them because they destroyed my people. I will not be that leader."

Somewhere inside his rage something cracked and he knew, instantly, that he'd follow her to the ends of the universe. Releasing her shoulders, he started to apologize.

Elizabeth stopped him, hanging on to his hands. "I'm not..." she faded, momentarily losing her footing. "...entirely sure I can stand on my own." Her confession cut through his anger.

"You need sleep," he proposed as concern melted the last of his fury. "I should..."

Elizabeth cut him off as she clung to his arms. "I promised Caldwell. Jack's down in the infirmary...I can't..."

"Will you eat?" John asked, changing tactics. "If I bring you something?"

She let him walk her over the little catwalk to her office. Her laptop computer sat forlornly on the lone chair, so John lowered her against the wall.

"I'll eat," she promised weakly. "Just hurry back." Wrapping her arms slowly around her knees Elizabeth prayed Rodney had the good sense not to speak to anyone. She would make the announcement that destroyed everyone's hopes after she'd heard back from the Daedalus. Landry's last order might give them some hope after all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

---

"Did anyone tell you why we seeded a second evolution of our form?" Mab began as she wandered lazily around the edge of the catwalk, sneaking towards Elizabeth's office.

"What are you doing here?" Elizabeth demanded as she tried to drag herself to her feet.

Mab moved faster than she could track, keeping her on the floor with a hand so warm it seemed to burn through her uniform. "Stay, you're not well." She waved her hand across Elizabeth's body, pulling something out of her and forming it out of fire in the air.

"I'm all..." Elizabeth stopped short. The nagging pinching in her stomach blossomed into a stinging pain.

Mab spun the fire in the air, letting it form into a tiny knot. It pulsed as it hung there, beating almost too quickly to see. "You're not being very careful," she chastised. "It's been a hard few days for this little one."

"Don't do this," Elizabeth pleaded, feeling her hands start to sweat.

"I promised not to take your child," Mab lowered herself to the floor next to Elizabeth, letting go of her regal disguise and appearing in a simple black dress. "I didn't promise to keep you from losing it. You really should be more careful."

"You sound like John," Elizabeth muttered, trying to understand what was happening. Surely someone would see the strange woman through the glass in her office.

Mab crossed her legs and set her hands neatly on them. "He's a wise man," she offered, closing her eyes lazily and letting the fire drift away. "He's very thoughtful, taking care of you the way he does."

The pain in Elizabeth's stomach faded with the smoke. Glaring at the other woman, she crossed her arms protectively over her stomach. "We're in love," she retaliated angrily.

"You'd be wise to keep him," Mab suggested grimly, keeping her eyes lazily closed. "You cannot bring it to birth alone."

"Why did your people seed the galaxies?" Elizabeth changed the subject, wishing she could do without cryptic messages about her child.

"We needed to understand," the queen's eyes opened, glowing orange in her head. "We only knew how we were, not how we had been. In order to reach the future, sometimes you must visit the past."

"To find ascension, you needed to watch yourselves," Elizabeth realized, letting go of the breath she'd been holding. None of the queen's dire musings seemed to have any bearing on a future with John in it. "So you seeded humanity."

"We were facing a terrible death," Mab's face flushed with fever suddenly, her hair hung over her eyes, wet with sweat. Her arm convulsed as she lifted it. "Plague ran rampant through our cities; ascension was the only way out. Out of desperation we gave birth to ourselves, tucking all that we had gained into the beginning of a new way."

As she shook stood a wreath of fire burned the plague from her body and returned her majestic purple velvets. "We were vain," she explained remorsefully. "We sought only to avoid the plague. We didn't realize that we were not the beings who created us. In birthing humanity we unwittingly brought the Wraith."

Elizabeth watched, horrified, as blood ran from the queen's hands, spoiling her dress as it began to pool on the floor.

"The Wraith were not meant to be," Mab explained sadly, watching the blood on her hands leave dark droplets on the metal floor. "We tried to stop them. I devoted my life to it, and all we wrought was another enemy."

The blood on the floor turned silver, rising up until Niam stood leering beside Mab.

"He was my favorite," she whispered sadly. "He was so gentle in the beginning. The only Asuran I knew where I had hope he'd ascend someday."

"He isn't now," Elizabeth corrected, remembering his hands around her neck as she finally dragged herself to her feet. She had to hang onto the wall to keep herself up, but she was standing.

"He's your plague," Mab sighed. "It was only after ascension that we learned our plague had been an accident in our creation. Just as the Wraith and the Replicators were mistakes of yours."

"The Replicators just destroyed my planet!" Elizabeth growled as she shoved herself off the wall. "They murdered six billion people."

"The plague nearly wiped us out," Mab replied sympathetically. "Death must come before the rebirth. I'm sure you've felt it. The over-crowding of the galaxy, the terrors stalking you around every corner. The first evolution fell to a plague of the blood; the second will fall to a plague of metal. The universe must be as it was."

Elizabeth caught her hand, feeling the blood come off on her own fingers. "A third evolution?"

Mab smiled, leaving a bloody trail on Elizabeth's face as she caressed it. She cringed in response, feeling the fluid stick to her cheek.

"John's here now," Mab whispered, leaving Elizabeth's question to hang unanswered. "He wants you to wake up."
~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth woke with a start, John's hands were on both of her shoulders and her uniform was soaked with sweat.

"Hey..." his relief lit his eyes when hers opened. "You okay?"

Elizabeth tried to sit up. She must have fallen asleep; seen Mab in a dream . She hoped it hadn't been a hallucination, John and Carson would never forgive her if she was that worn down. "Bad dreams," she explained non-committaly, hoping he'd just leave it at that.

"Brought you something," John teased as his eyes lit up, hoping his excitement would shine through her exhaustion. "Made it myself."

"By grabbing it out of the case of rations?" Elizabeth sighed, wiping sweat from her hair.

"Actually, it was some assembly required," John admitted, handing over a sandwich wrapped in a brown paper towel.

As she opened it, Elizabeth couldn't help smiling when she smelled what it was. "Peanut butter?" she asked.

"And re-hydrated banana," John said, nodding proudly. "Use to eat them down in Antarctica, helped keep me warm."

"And I need to stay warm?" she wondered as she took a bite tentatively. "I haven't had peanut butter..."

"...comfort food," John interrupted, setting a water bottle down by her leg. "And juice."

"I think you're skipping ahead a little bit in parenting," Elizabeth mused as she forced herself to eat her sandwich. She could barely taste it, except for the sensation of swallowing she was entirely disconnected from her body. "I'm pregnant, not a five-year-old."

"I bet you were a cute five-year-old," John said, tilting his head and studying her as if he could rewind time with just his eyes. "Curly hair, dimples..."

Shaking her head slowly, Elizabeth pried the water bottle open and gulped some of it down. As the sweat from her nightmares dried, she shivered.

Tired as he was, John took a moment to notice. Yanking his jacket free from his shoulders, he tucked it around hers. "When this is over, we're going to bed, locking the door, and throwing the radios out onto the balcony where we can't hear them," John promised. Clasping his hands lazily, he waited for her to finish chewing. "What's standing order Omega?"

Elizabeth sighed heavily, taking a moment before she spoke. "It's something General Landry borrowed from an ancient Persian tradition," she set the last of her sandwich down and fidgeted with the paper towel nervously. "If the country seemed to be about to fall, round up the families of the men on your farthest outpost and send them to join their husbands and fathers..." she choked, fighting the tears in her throat. "That way something of your people survives."

"So the list?" John baited gently.

"Is who Colonel Emerson managed to save in the time he had," Elizabeth replied. Tearing a corner from the paper towel and rubbing it across her eyes. The paper was rough on already sensitive skin.

"Do you think?" He asked. Stealing a bite of her sandwich as she tried to send her tears back where they came from.

"God..." she shook her head, losing the battle and letting her tears baptize the floor of her office. "...I want my mother to be on that list."

John brushed her shoulder tentatively, feeling how fragile she was beneath his jacket. "Maybe she will be."

"I should be thinking about my people," Elizabeth whispered accusingly. "How Atlantis is going to feed and house so many refugees who have all lost so much..."

John moved the remnant of her sandwich, keeping her from squishing it into the floor when he pulled her into his arms.

"...but I want Mum." Her voice breaking as she finished, Elizabeth clung to him. Digging her hands into his back reminded her that there was one person she loved that she hadn't lost.

At first he wanted to tell her not to cry, that everything would be all right, but he didn't believe that. John felt numb, like his emotions were all off. He hadn't lost anyone. He'd lost places, things, memories of a lifetime before. Atlantis was his home. His team was his family and the woman soaking his chest with her tears was his future. The smile he buried in her hair was entirely inappropriate, but he couldn't hold it in any more than she could stem her sobbing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

---

Jack slept with his head on her bed. He should have tried to stay awake, but he couldn't. He'd spent too much time waiting, fighting the Replicators, and trying to keep himself alive to fight off sleep right now. He was too tired to dream so his mind insisted the hand on his head didn't make sense. The fingers in his hair were too real to be part of some exhausted dream.

He groaned, opening his eyes and rolling his head to look up. Carter smiled at him. Her lips were nearly white, but her eyes glistened with life. "Comfortable, Sir?" she wondered, pulling her hand back to her side.

"The bed's not bad," Jack teased with a trembling smile. "The chair..." he waved his hand back and forth, "...not as special." Watching her smile broaden was worth the years it had been since she'd gone into surgery. "How you feeling?"

"Like someone's been rearranging my insides, Sir," Carter admitted without taking her eyes off him. "How's my ship?"

"Slightly better off than her captain," Jack assured her as he lifted his head and sat up. "The Czech, Ze-whatsit-"

"-Zelenka," Carter filled in.

"Zelenka," he continued. "He's got a team working on it. Replicators did a number on it, and you. Should learn to duck better."

"Thank you, Sir," Carter acknowledged as tears threatened her eyes. "Glad to see you in one piece."

"I duck well," he joked. "Comes with being a general." He fidgeted with the white sheet over her body. "Doctor Beckett tells me you're going to be fine, even up and around in a few days."

"What did I-?" she asked as she forced her eyes to focus on him.

"Tore up your stomach," he explained, wincing and pointing at the bandages covering her body. "Nasty business with broken ribs. You'll hurt, but you'll heal."

"Remind me to thank Beckett, when I see him," Carter closed her eyes, thanking whatever powers existed that she was still alive. "Missed you, Sir."

"I missed you too," her name went unsaid at the end of his admission. "Sir, I want to say..."

Elizabeth's voice interrupted over the public address system. "This is Doctor Weir," she began.

Jack felt something cold grab his heart. He'd heard this tone. He knew what generals said when an entire battalion had been lost. He saw Carter wince and realized she felt it too.

"With the ZPM in place..." Elizabeth paused, searching for strength. "Colonel Caldwell arrived in orbit of Earth a few hours ago. It is my terrible duty to inform you all..."

Jack found Sam's hand on the blanket and clutched it because the knot in his gut told him something more awful than anything he'd seen was coming.

"...that while we engaged the Replicator city, the Replicator armada attacked..." Elizabeth's voice lost more life as she finished without emotion, "...and decimated Earth. I have no words to convey what we all are feeling because I cannot even force myself to fathom what it means."

Carter's eyes went wide before they glazed over in shock. Jack stared at her hand, watching his knuckles go white without feeling the tension. Earth had fallen. For as many times as he'd saved the planet in the eleventh hour, he always thought somehow, Earth was invincible. That something would always happen that allowed life to go on.

"But, even in this darkest hour, I need you all be join me in believing we are not without hope. The survivors of our home world will be arriving shortly via the Stargate from the Alpha site in the Milky Way. Some of our families are among this group and Colonel Caldwell provided me with this tentative list of names."

Elizabeth paused again, "I know we are all in shock, and that our grief will need our attention. I cannot ask you not to feel anymore than I can stop myself, but I have to ask you all to pull together. If we have any chance to survive, any chance to hang on to what it is that we call human, we have to be united in caring for each other. If there is any way for this tragedy not to be the end of us, we must come together. For all our sakes."

"Eileen Anderson, Tyomi Asukga, Nora Beckett..." The names faded into a haze in Jack's ears. He lost anything Elizabeth said until he saw Carter crumple. Her brother, his wife, and children had gone without mention. The last of her family was gone.

"Carter," his voice seemed pathetic, not nearly strong enough to reach through the agony she must be in. He slid farther up, trying to be closer to her, maybe he could do something. She was quiet. Still, as if she'd fallen out of time.

Slowly, careful of her bandages, Jack dropped his head to her chest. If all he had left in the universe to care about was her, he didn't give a damn who knew it.

"...Edmund and Catherine Lorne..."

Jack only heard a few scattered names; people he recognized from mission reports. So much of it was a blur.

"...Jeannie and Madison Miller..." Elizabeth's voice was raspy near the end, exhausted and worn. "Simon Wallace, Petrov and Mileva Zelenka." She paused again, and Jack had to give her credit for managing to finish at all.

"I will see that everyone is notified when their loved ones arrive," for a moment it sounded like she had something to add, but Elizabeth's voice was too near breaking. "Weir out."

She had the strength to stand while she was speaking, but it left her when she released the radio. Elizabeth let John guide her back down to the floor, still holding the tablet computer with the databurst from the Daedalus in her hands. When she'd read it, the name had meant nothing to her. It was merely one more out of the list of people who weren't her mother. Now, with her head on John's shoulder, her eye caught it.

"I must have forgotten," Elizabeth whispered, letting the list fall from her fingers the last centimeter to the floor. "When he-" she swallowed, correcting herself weakly, "-when we broke up. I meant to change my next-of-kin, just leave my Mum."

"Simon Wallace is your Simon," John put together as he rescued the computer and placed it safely aside. "The one who left you."

"I should be pleased he's alive," Elizabeth chided herself, lifting her head a little. "Life is so precious, John."

"He's not your mother," John allowed for her, giving her space to hate Simon for living when so many others had died. "Did General Landry?"

Elizabeth shook her head, biting her lip against her seemingly immortal tears. "He went down with the SGC," she swallowed again, managing a tiny smile. "He always said he wanted to."

"I would," John admitted without thinking. Elizabeth couldn't take it. Her shoulders were already quivering. He immediately regretted saying anything and jumped to correct himself. "If I was a crusty old general, which I am never going to be, because I intend to live to a ripe old age surrounded by grandchildren." He waited a moment for her to notice his smile.

"You want grandchildren?"

"I think I have to learn to deal with children first," John covered, relieved she had managed to return a ghost of his smile.

"You want children then?" Elizabeth was only half-joking. Part of her was genuinely curious. "As in more than one?"

"Well..." John started, scratching his neck thoughtfully as he threatened to blush. "Usually when I like something..." he shrugged, "...I want more of it- them- kids."

She clung to his hand, pulling it up to her cheek. "What would I do without you, John Sheppard?"

"The universe will never know," John's sarcasm hid his promise. "Drink your juice."
~*~*~*~*~*~

---

The entire experience was surreal, as if he'd stepped out of his life into a dream world. Doctor Simon Wallace had been leaving work, walking the few blocks between the hospital and his assigned parking space. Then he wasn't. He was standing, briefcase still in hand, in a metal box of a room, looking at a very apologetic airman.

"Welcome to the Odyssey, Sir, please come with me this way," said the young woman as she pulled him out of the center of the room. "I know you're very confused Sir, please, come this way and I promise to explain everything."

The young woman led him down a corridor, twisting through metal doors past more people in uniform.

"Why am I here?" he started, trying to make any kind of sense out of the situation. "For that matter, where am I?"

"The Odyssey is a space ship belonging to the United States Air Force, Sir," she explained patiently. "We're currently in a low orbit of Earth, picking up the next of kin of the Atlantis expedition. You were listed in the personal file of Doctor Elizabeth Weir."

The word Atlantis sparked his memory. "There's been some mistake," he began to apologize. "Elizabeth and I aren't together anymore."

"I'm sorry Sir," the airman led him into a larger room full of other confused civilians. "No matter what happened between you and her, you're better off here than on Earth." Her brown eyes softened for a moment, and he wondered how close she was to tears. "Please, Sir, just try to trust us." She left, disappearing through the heavy metal door.

He walked through the crowd, passing the elderly couples he marked as parents. Some younger women shepherded children, and he wondered if their husbands were waiting for them. There were even a few men with children in hand. Some of the refugees were like him, alone, on their way home from work. Everyone was quiet, looking around too shocked too avoid staring.

One of the children, a little girl with amber-brown hair brushed against his leg. "We're going to see my uncle," she informed him with the calm that only came to young children in moments of crisis.

"I'm sorry," her mother began as she left the line of people around the tables of food. "Madison, come here."

"It's all right," Simon promised gently, pleased to have made eye contact with someone.

"Jeannie Miller," she introduced herself as she scooped up the girl. "And this is Madison."

"Simon," he offered, reaching out a hand. "Simon Wallace, I shouldn't be here."

"Why not?" she asked quickly, too shell-shocked to be polite. "I'm not sure what I did to deserve being home when my husband couldn't be found..." Jeannie paused, closing her eyes until she regained her composure. "...but they saved Madison. My brother, Rodney, he's the scientific advisor for the Atlantis expedition. If you have any questions, I was there once, helping him with a physics proof..." She smiled nervously. "I'm rambling."

"It's nice," he sighed, sinking down to a bench. "We're going through the Stargate?"

"You know?" Jeannie asked abruptly. "I thought people weren't supposed to know..."

"I used to date the leader of the expedition," Simon began quietly. "She tried to get me to come with her." He dropped his hands weakly to his lap, watching as Madison started to play with his briefcase.

"Doctor Weir?" she filled in quickly. "I, uh, I kind of thought..."

"What?" Simon wondered curiously. Bending down, he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a few pens and a notebook. "Do you draw? My nephew's about your age and he really likes to draw."

Madison nodded quickly, taking his pens and the paper and dropping down to the floor.

"What did you think?" Simon asked again. Watching Madison start to scribble something that vaguely resembled a sheep.

"I kinda thought she had a thing for this guy she works with...I mean, I barely talked to her, but Mere said John had a hell of a crush on her, and they were always together when I saw them..." she shrugged, blushing slightly when she realized what she was saying. "So where are you from? What do you do?" Jeannie quickly changed the subject.

"I'm, well, I was until a few moments ago, a doctor," Simon tried to remember if he knew anything about who Elizabeth worked with. She hadn't mentioned anyone, but he hadn't really given her the chance. The last time he'd seen her all they'd done was fight. "I live in Washington DC. What about you?"

"Toronto, my husband's an English teacher," Jeannie stopped short, realizing she had to correct herself again. "Caleb was an english teacher."

"It's all right," Simon sighed, watching as Madison stuck his three-hundred dollar gold-leafed pen that had been a gift after ten years of service into her mouth. It really didn't matter anymore. If Earth was really gone...

"They're taking us to Atlantis," Jeannie said, hoping she hadn't said it already. "I suppose there could be worse things than that. I keep telling Maddie how nice it was. I think she'll like it."

"Why are they taking us?" Simon queried softly, glad he'd ended up with someone who knew something about what was happening. "What happened to Earth?"

"I was told it was the Replicators," Jeannie answered. Watching Madison draw a dark shape sucking stick figures up into the sky made her smile. "I don't really know who--what they are, but from the way everyone's acting, I assume it's bad."

"They took us from Earth to protect us?" Simon asked, watching the same airman who'd brought him drop off another woman. "It was that bad?"

"I guess," Jeannie opened a power bar and handed it down to her daughter. She offered him a second. "Hungry?"

Simon took it gratefully, taking a bite as he tried to decide what he was going to say when he saw Elizabeth again.
~*~*~*~*~

---

"Okay people, I know you're frightened, I know there's a lot to see but we need to keep moving..." John waved the next group away from the shimmering circle of water. "Come on, follow the nice scientists in the blue shirts, they'll take you out to the balcony where we'll sign you up for some quarters. Everyone likes getting some quarters...they're real nice, lots of them have balconies even..."

Elizabeth leaned over the railing, watching the families follow John and her science teams. She rested her head in her hands for a moment, relieved that in a few hours she could finally stand down. When everyone had quarters and food she'd let herself go to bed. Caldwell had radioed back in. He and Emerson were collecting all the supplies from the Alpha site before they'd make the long trip back. With only one ZPM, the Daedalus would have to escort the Odyssey at a much slower rate than they could travel alone.

She hadn't seen him yet. She should be thinking of other things. How could she feed everyone? What would they do for clothing? Medicine? Schools? All of a sudden her child wasn't the abnormality, but instead the youngest of many. Elizabeth glanced up in time to notice someone she recognized. Rodney's sister, Jeannie had emerged from the gate with a little girl in her arms. Rodney's niece was as adorable as her picture had been.

Jeannie recognized John and her face lit with relief. Rodney appeared out of nowhere and attacked her with one of the fiercest hugs she'd ever seen. Elizabeth had to smile. That was hope. She was still smiling, feeling a tiny bit better as she left the balcony and started down the stairs to John.

Simon was a step behind Jeannie. She recognized him from the back by the set of his shoulders and his brown leather briefcase. Elizabeth's stomach knotted and she caught the railing with one hand.

John saw her falter, and following her eyes he picked out the tall man with shaggy curls as Simon. He sized him up as he walked past. He looked academic, boring, and too stuffy for Elizabeth. For a moment, insecurity suggested that Simon was what Elizabeth liked; the nerdy academic who would be able to debate United Nations policy with her.

As if Simon knew he was being watched, he turned, catching Elizabeth on the stairs. She was deathly pale, like she had been after the eighth day of nuclear talks in Pakistan. He remembered her nearly crawling off the plane at the airport and curling up with Sedgewick for the rest of the weekend. She'd been so stubborn she hadn't let him treat her until her fever had crawled above one hundred degrees and it became obvious she was more than just tired.

Elizabeth erased John's fears when she met his eyes. Her hand was damp with sweat when she caught his, and she let him take some of her weight. "Why is he looking at me?"

"He's realizing he was an idiot," John muttered darkly, making her crack a smile at his jealous streak. He kept himself between her and Simon when it became apparent that Simon wasn't leaving without speaking to her.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth began softly. Lifting her head to meet Simon's stare would have been hard enough if she wasn't exhausted. Now it was nearly torture. "I know you didn't want..."

"...thank you," Simon interrupted. "Because of you, I'm alive."

"I never meant," Elizabeth sighed heavily, her head hurt badly enough that her eyes were tearing up. "Have you met?"

"Colonel John Sheppard," John amended, both of his hands were on Elizabeth's arm, but he removed one, letting her rest her weight on his shoulder. He stood on the step between both of them with Elizabeth using him for balance and Simon looking through him at her. "I'm the military commander of Atlantis. Sorry for the abrupt welcome. We have a lot going on." He shook Simon's hand politely, trying not to squeeze as hard as he wanted too.

"I'm supposed to..." Simon stopped, watching with a strange tightening of his chest as Elizabeth's hand crept into John's hair on the back of his neck. "...go get quarters."

"Right!" John smiled without a lot of warmth. Taking Elizabeth's hands back, he took a step down the stairs. "It's right that way," he said, using her hand to help point. "Teyla and Ronon are overseeing the process. They'll be happy to help you. Now if you'll excuse us, I have to walk the good doctor here to bed."

Simon's eyebrows narrowed. She was sick then. It was possible she was just tired, but from the way she clung to John he really should have known she wasn't feeling well. "Are you all right?" Had she ever let him carry so much of her?

"I'm fine," Elizabeth answered more forcefully than she intended to. She even retrieved her hands from John's and stood on her own. She'd be dammed if she was going to let Simon diagnose her in the gate room, or anywhere else for that matter. "Actually, Simon, as soon as you have quarters I'd like to ask you a favor, we don't have a lot of doctors and any help you'd be willing to give..."

Simon nodded, realizing it was going to be just business between them. "I'll have someone show me the way," he agreed absently. Work was the best option. Helping people would keep him from thinking until he had time to grieve properly. "It is nice to see you again."

"And a pleasure to meet you," John replied, saving Elizabeth from having to speak. He could feel her arm tremble as he held it against his chest. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you." His exaggerated politeness made Simon just uncomfortable enough for him to enjoy it. He smiled at him, watching Simon find his way to the balcony with the rest of the refugees.

Elizabeth made it out of sight, around the corner and down into the transporter to their quarters before she started to collapse. Wrapping an arm firmly around her waist, John made sure he was ready to catch her if need be. "I don't know if I can carry you," he half-admitted, half-joked. "I didn't get any sleep either."

"Do you think there will be a third evolution of humanity?" Elizabeth asked him suddenly, ignoring his jibe entirely.

John stopped walking, completely taken by surprise. "What are you talking about?" he asked, shaking his head slowly.

"When the Ancients suffered from the plague that nearly wiped them out, they seeded us," Elizabeth explained, her tired mind traveling in tangents. "Now we're wiped out," she continued, hanging onto the wall while he fussed with the door to their quarters. "If the universe travels in cycles where one series of events leads into the next..."

The crystals recognized his hand and chimed to let him in. "...it's time to start over?" John finished for her, leading her directly to the bed as soon as he got through the door. "It's possible," he agreed, kneeling down with a groan to deal with her boots. "We've seen stranger things."

"Do you ever feel like there's an entire story going on somewhere that we're just a tiny, infinitesimal piece of?" Elizabeth asked as she balanced with her hands on his shoulders. "Something so big it's going on all around us and we're just a drop in the bucket, so to speak."

"Arms up," John requested, taking her shirt and pulling it over her head. With it gone she shivered slightly and he hurried. Grabbing one of their sleeping bags he draped it around her shoulders as he started removing her pants.

"Don't know if I'm up for that, fly boy..." Elizabeth teased weakly, winking at him as he slid them down over her hips. She started to undo her bra, but his hands beat her to it. He kissed her neck as he pulled it free.

John left her clothes in a pile on the floor and started to strip himself. "The Ancients always seemed like they had a plan," he supposed, wriggling his black t-shirt off over his muscular back. "At least until they got their butts kicked by the Wraith," he concluded with a thoughtful look. "Maybe it was our turn. The Ancients bult Atlantis, Ancients nearly get killed by Wraith. We take over Atlantis; we're nearly killed by Replicators..."

His pants dropped to the floor and he stepped out of them, the hair on his legs pricking with cold. Elizabeth slid over, making room for him in the bed. Without bothering to do anything else, he dropped like a stone next to her.

"If there's an emergency now, I get up. If there's one while we're trying to sleep tomorrow, that one's for you," he decided as he pulled her close to his chest. Elizabeth folded her arms around his and let the warmth of his body seep into her back.

"Are you going to alternate nights parenting?" she nudged, feeling him chuckle against her. John let her question hang and his breathing started to slow. "Simon hated you," Elizabeth whispered to his arm as she held it.

"I've never figured out why so many men do," John pretended with an innocent lilt in his voice. "Women seem to like me."

"When I saw you in the chair, back on Earth," Elizabeth mused quietly as she watched the stars hang sleepily outside her window. "I knew I needed you."

"Fate had us marked then?" John jabbed, faking a romantic tone.

Elizabeth rolled over, pulling her hands in so she could lay them on his chest. "You could turn on the chair!" she exclaimed sleepily. "Better than anyone else could."

"I knew it," he remarked, kissing her fingers as he lifted them up to her mouth. "You just wanted me for my genetics."

"You do have that mensa IQ..." Elizabeth yawned again, letting the warmth of his chest fill her hands. "And lovely eyes."

He brought his lips to her forehead, tasting the old sweat and the unique taste of her. "I love you," he promised, running his hand down her back until he found the spot he wanted. Elizabeth smiled in her sleep, knowing he was there was enough to wipe away the rest of her worries.
~*~*~*~*~

---

When she woke up, Elizabeth was alone. Rolling over groggily, she had to remind herself that the stars outside her window were space, not the middle of the night over the ocean. It was hard not to miss the ocean. As she stretched lazily, she realized she heard water, but instead of waves, it was the running water of the shower. Yawning as she sat up, Elizabeth held the sleeping bag up over her chest out of habit.

When the shower stopped, a very naked John Sheppard strolled out of the bathroom. He dried the hair on his head, grinning at her playfully as her eyes ran over his naked body. "Morning," he said, winking and lowering his towel to his neck. In the cool air of their quarters his body almost steamed from the heat of the shower. "You were out cold, so I went for a run and came back to shower."

"No emergencies?" Elizabeth asked, watching a droplet of water find its way down his chest.

"I left Teyla in charge," he explained and captured the droplet with his towel as it ran over his chest. "There's really nothing she can't handle."

"Even hundreds of exhausted, terrified, worn-out refugees from Earth?" Elizabeth mused, disappointed when he wrapped the towel around his waist and searched for his clothes.

"Well, she's pretty good at giving the 'life in Pegasus 101 lecture'," John pointed out. Successfully finding his duffel bag, he pulled his one pair of clean boxers. Elizabeth caught herself shamelessly watching his well-toned butt as he pulled them on. "You're really making this one-sided," he rebuked playfully. "I'm fine with being your object of admiration, however..." John turned around, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at the sleeping bag.

Laughing and starting to blush, Elizabeth looked down at the olive drab sleeping bag and then back at him. "I'll get cold," she complained, still giggling as his eyes rolled in his head.

"Maybe I'll warm you up," John negotiated, turning around to dig up his pants. The sleeping bag rustled on the bed, and when he turned around Elizabeth stood next to it. Her skin nearly glowed in the weak light of the stars and the one light he'd turned on to look for his clothing. Aside from her simple black panties, she was entirely, gloriously naked.

Clasping her hands behind her back and giving him a stern look, Elizabeth watched as he stepped into his pants. "Is this fair enough for you?"

Doing the belt as he crossed the floor to her, John clinked it in place just as he reached her. Feeling her nipples as two hardening points against his chest, he circled her with his arms. "I've heard you were a tough negotiator," he replied with amusement, digging his fingers into the muscles in the small of her back. "I guess they were right."

"You bet they were," Elizabeth tossed back, sighing when he found the knots that had taken up residence there. "Is there anyway just to take the weekend off?"

John chuckled and looked down at her curiously. "I thought you didn't take days off," he said, teasing the elastic the held her panties firmly in place.

"I might occasionally need one," Elizabeth conceded, raising her eyebrows slightly before she released him. "Remember the good old days when our biggest fear was the Wraith?"

"Vaguely," John returned, tossing her a clean towel from the chair. "Laundry's back up and running, if we had some more clothes, we could wash them."

"God," Elizabeth hung up the towel on a smooth metal hook on the wall of the bathroom and stepped out of her panties. "I suppose we aren't getting any more supplies?"

"The Odyssey and the Daedalus are loaded with everything that could be salvaged from the Alpha and Beta sites," John called into the bathroom as he slid into his t-shirt. "Teyla received the last of the personnel this morning. It looks like the head count's holding at eight hundred sixty-five, counting the crews on both ships."

Elizabeth felt the air slip from her chest as she clung to the wall of the shower. Eight hundred of six billion... Swallowing her grief, she reached for the hot water. "Any word from the infirmary?"

"Carson, Doctor Tam, and Doctor Wallace have been working their magic," John called into the bathroom, hearing the water come on as he sat down to pull on his black socks. He wandered the room, collecting their dirty clothes and making sure they landed in a bag he could bring to the laundry. "All of the surgical cases pulled through, he has two patients in comas, but he seems optimistic. The only case that really has him worried is Helia. Her vitals took a turn for the worst last night and he was sending her through the Ancient scanner when I went for my run."

Elizabeth ran her hands over her face and let the hot water take her insecurities away. "And Colonel Carter?" she yelled back over the sound of the shower.

"Complete success, she'll be up and around today, back to her ship in a few more days," John leaned on the wall of the bathroom, watching her through the glass door of the shower. "Found you some clothes, but it's more Air Force pants for you I'm afraid."

Elizabeth laughed slightly as she fumbled for the shampoo with closed eyes. "Could be worse, I guess," she decided optimistically.

John reached around the glass and pushed the shampoo into her hand. "That's the spirit," he agreed, keeping himself as cheerful as possible. "Feeling all right?"

Elizabeth worked the shampoo through the tangled curls of her hair and sighed to the wall. "I'm all right," she replied without enough conviction.

"Nauseous?" he asked, watching foam run down her back.

"I think you should just stop asking me that question," Elizabeth pulled her fingers through her hair and spritzed the water on them at him.

"That bad?" he continued to wonder as he held out the towel.

Shutting off the water, she grabbed for it and pressed it to her face. "It's easier to pretend it doesn't exist, if you stop bringing it up," she rationalized, drying the water from her neck before she attacked her hair.

"Have I mentioned I like you this way?" John offered, arms crossed lazily over his chest.

"Wet?" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and started the towel down her body.

"Why Doctor," John tilted his head towards the pile of her clothes on the chair. "Is that some kind of suggestion?"

"Might be," she answered, running a hand across the back of his neck as she passed. He retaliated by stealing her towel and dragging her back to him. John grabbed her ass through the towel, pretending to be drying her skin.

"See you after work?" he teased, promising with his hands to make it worth her while if she did.

"I know it'll be nearly impossible, but could we make time to stop by the infirmary today?" Elizabeth ventured, almost shy now that they were talking about the baby. "Carson's been wanting to do a real exam, now that everything's online, and he's starting to get caught up." Ever since Mab had started visiting her, she'd been afraid. Not of the baby, as she had been before, but for the first time she was afraid for the baby.

"What if he just tells you that you're going to be sick every day for the next thirty weeks-" John was stopped when she threw her hand over his mouth.

"He's not going to say that..." Elizabeth insisted, turning away from him to pull on her clothing. She clung to his arm for balance as she pulled on her panties. "He's going to tell me to take it easy."

"As you should be doing," John chastised, grinning softly as she wriggled into her black bra. He just kept grinning at her breasts as she did up the clasp. "The view from this apartment really is spectacular."

"Oh really?" She giggled slightly, almost nervous as he continued to watch her get dressed. As she sat on the bed, her smile faded. John watched as her shoulders started to slump. "How do I go out there? How do I face all of those people and tell them they have to go on with our lives?"

John turned around the chair that had held her clothes and settled into it backwards, crossing his arms along the back. "Because you're going to," John affirmed. Keeping his gaze on her steady. "Because I'll be there next to you and because everyone out there is tougher than you think."

"Everyone's lost so much," Elizabeth sighed, letting her head fall into her hands. "I don't think there's one person out there who hasn't lost most of their family."

He nudged her foot with his toes. "I'm sorry I won't get to meet your mother," he offered gently, meeting her eyes as she looked up. "I like to tell myself she would have liked me."

"She would have thought you were crazy," Elizabeth started to smile even as her eyes teared up. "A pilot like you giving up command of his own ship to be with me of all people. Not to mention that you were insane enough to get me pregnant, without even knowing how terrible I am when I'm sick."

"I'm going to go with lucky," John said softly, watching as her tears ran down her cheeks. There was something beautiful about the way she cried; how her eyelashes directed her tears down from her ever-serious green eyes.

"And she would have thought you're charming," Elizabeth told him as she sat up, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. "Sometimes, rarely I mean, on your most serious occasions, you remind me of my father. I think she would have liked that about you."

John's lips curled in a proud smile. "They must have been so proud of you," he ventured as he reached to touch her arm, making her lips twitch in weak amusement. "A Ph.D, negotiations with the UN, top secret missions for the US government..."

"My father said he'd be proudest of me when I was happy," she explained softly, concentrating on the warmth in his face. "When I could look him in the eye and tell him I was completely happy, he'd know he had done a good job."

He paused, trying to picture the man who had touched her so. "How are you doing now?" John asked thoughtfully, wondering what it was like to be so close to her parents.

"I don't know," Elizabeth admitted. Reaching up, she captured his hand off her arm and held it close to her chest. "I can't seem to think that far. Today getting out of bed was a victory."

John leaned across, sitting up enough to reach her face. He kissed her damp cheek and breathed in the clean smell of her hair. "Hang onto that," he suggested. "Even small victories call for celebrations...if only small ones. If you're ready, I'll buy you breakfast in the cafeteria, I've heard they are featuring a long line and military rations..."

"You really know how to tempt a woman, don't you?" Elizabeth joked, wiping her face as she stood.

"If you need a minute..." John offered shyly as he returned his chair to the wall, "...and if you want me to go, or stay, or..."

"I can't right now," Elizabeth answered; her voice strained with emotion. He nodded, trying to give her the right space to grieve. "I can't promise I'm not going to collapse into a weeping mess later..."

"...but not right now," John finished for her. He tucked his hands in his pockets and waited just in front of the door. "If you want a shoulder, I've been told mine are pretty decent." He paused, shrugging slightly as the only sign of his nervousness. "I'd understand if you, well, wanted to be alone too."

"I'd rather not..." she stuttered, awkwardly trying not to look at him long enough for her heart to break through her control. "...be alone," she added, "I don't think it would be good for me."

"Okay," he said, nodding simply. "Breakfast then?"

Elizabeth winced slightly, holding her stomach without knowing she was. "Breakfast," she agreed grimly. She was tempted to grab something and disappear into her office to deal with being nauseous on her own. John had a point and he knew it. With morale where it was, they had to be seen in public. They had to prove it was possible to go on with life. Even if that meant demonstrating her aversion to food in front of the entire city. After all, Elizabeth thought, she was lucky her pregnancy wasn't all over the city the minute Rodney had heard about it.

"I will be assigning times for interviews for all of you," Teyla explained as she stood on a chair in the front of the cafeteria. "We know you all had jobs on Earth, and many of you have children who will also need to be taken care of. I know this is difficult for all of you, not only losing your home, but having to integrate into a new community, in a new galaxy. I want you all to know we are here to help you. Major Lorne and I are doing our best to make sure you fit in and are happy here."

She looked down at her list on her computer and winced when she pulled at the bandage on her shoulder. The wound from the Replicator mission was still healing. "Please make your way to the balcony and find out when you are scheduled," she instructed the crowd around her. "Sergeants Haley, Kinnonen and Renault will be waiting for you. Thank you again for your patience and cooperation." The group filed out and Teyla nodded to Ronon to send in the next group.

John winced watching her, glad he'd managed to avoid giving the same speech eight times to different groups of civilians. "Maybe we should give them colors," John teased Elizabeth across his plate of Athosian stewed rice, grains, and vegetables the cafeteria was offering as breakfast.

She poked at hers with disinterest and glanced up at him in confusion. "Colors?" she wondered.

"Yeah, civilian group red, blue, green, pink..." John said as he took a bite and glared at her unmoving fork. "That way we can send them places easier."

"Oh," Elizabeth responded softly, catching his look and taking a hesitant bite of her breakfast.

"It's really not bad," John offered with a shrug as he finished off the last of his. "Since you skipped out on the sauce, it should be really bland."

"It is," she agreed, still toying at it with her fork. "I just..."

"I hate to be the voice of reason," John started, leaning back in his chair with his coffee. "But, it's better to eat it and hope you keep it down than to not eat it. Didn't General O'Neill tell you his sister felt better when she ate?"

Elizabeth forced herself to take a bite and smiled as she tried to talk around her food. "How'd you know that?" she demanded with amusement.

"He told me to remind you," John conceded with a wink. "Speaking of the general..." He tilted his head, drawing Elizabeth's attention as he flagged down Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter as they made their way through the crowd. "Carson let you out?" He asked Sam as she sat down with great care.

"On good behavior," Carter grinned playfully as Jack took the chair next to Elizabeth. "I think he was just sick of the general moping around his infirmary."

"I did not mope," Jack corrected her indignantly. "I strutted pompously and looked concerned." He turned from John's empty plate to Elizabeth's full one and gave her a look that would have wilted flowers. "Something wrong with your rice?"

"No," Elizabeth said, embarrassed as Sam and John gave her sympathetic looks.

Jack elbowed her lightly in the side. "The sooner you finish the sooner you can get away from me bothering you," he suggested playfully.

"There's motivation for me," Elizabeth muttered as she looked away from all the eyes on her.

"It's a good motivation, really," Sam added as Jack reached across the table to squeeze her free hand. "He's had years of practice being really annoying."

'Why thank you, Colonel," Jack dropped her hand as if she had burned him and looked indignant. "I've worked hard to become such."

"So how does it feel to be the head of the military?" John teased, drawing the conversation off Elizabeth as she tentatively started to eat.

"Headish?" Jack replied without much thought. "I guess odd, I suppose. Probably about as odd as being head of say, everything..." He turned on Elizabeth, startling her as she took a sip of tea.

"I'm not..." she started to argue, but across the table John nodded.

"Yes, actually," Jack corrected for her. "You are the big cheese around here."

Elizabeth's knuckles whitened as she grabbed her cup a little tighter. Her rice suddenly seemed much less appetizing. She hadn't thought about it, but she'd been left guardian of the remnants of the entire culture of Earth. Beneath the table John's hand brushed her knee; which startled her so badly that she nearly dropped her fork.

"Finish eating," he instructed firmly. Promising with his eyes that she could handle whatever the universe had left for her. "Don't worry about it; we have a lot to do today."
~*~*~*~*~

---

Her computer screen hurt her eyes. Elizabeth rubbed at her temples, wishing that would help her focus. Dishes from her lunch, and dinner sat on the floor beside the crate she was using as a desk. Writing her speech was incredibly hard. She'd teared up twice trying to finish it and that was probably only adding to her headache. She stretched her arms, feeling the bandage from the blood Carson had taken. His wish for an actual appointment had been put off for another few days until she was less busy. She nearly hated herself for not making the time. There was just so much she needed to do.

Major Lorne knocked on the glass wall and waited for her to look up. A pleasant looking couple stood behind him, probably in their late fifties. The familial resemblance was easy to see in the jaw line of his father and the stunning eyes of his mother. "Doctor Weir?" he began politely. "I hope we're not intruding..."

"Oh no," she said immediately. Closing her eyes as she stood up, Elizabeth put on her best professional smile. "I've afraid I haven't met-"

"-my parents," Lorne introduced proudly. "This is Edmund and Colonel Catherine Lorne."

Edmund's handshake was firm and dry. He had a gentle smile that won her over immediately. Catherine took longer. Her blue eyes sized Elizabeth up, and she felt like she was being judged by her grip.

"You needn't worry about my wife," Edmund promised with that same smile. "The dragon retired from the Marines years ago. My son just likes to point out that he's about to pass her up in rank."

Lorne looked suitably embarrassed, but still beamed at his parents. "They requested a chance to volunteer their services," he explained as he stood behind them. "Mom was a logistics coordination and Dad was an elementary school teacher."

"Always found trucks easier to manage than children," Catherine added to her son's explanation. "I'm going to be helping Evan here keep everyone in order, that's if it's okay with you, Ma'am."

Elizabeth started slightly, unused to being differed to by a woman so much her elder. "I'm sure he'll be happy to have the assistance, thank you," she said graciously. "And you as well, Mr. Lorne, we haven't even begun to think of what we will do with the children of the city." The same cold knot that had taken up permanent residence in the pit of her stomach reminded her that, before she knew it, her child would need schooling.

"Then allow me to volunteer," Edmund said, breaking her out of her reverie. "With your permission, of course, I'll work with my son and the very capable Miss Teyla and come up with a plan."

Elizabeth just nodded; too overwhelmed to be anything but grateful her people were managing to take things out of her hands. "It sounds like a good idea," she replied gratefully. "I'll wish you all luck and let you get on with your work."

"Thank you, Ma'am..." Major Lorne nodded quickly, understanding immediately that she had to get back to her work. "Come on, we all have a lot to get done." He shepherded his parents out of his office, giving her a final embarrassed smile.

Creeping back to her chair, she dropped into it and recollected her computer. Setting aside her speech for the memorial service she tried to focus. What were they going to do? How could she feed eight hundred without constant supplies from Earth? The Athosians had already been so generous with food. How could she ask them for clothing as well? Carson had already mentioned rationing morphine and other precious drugs. The Daedalus had left him their entire supply, but it wasn't much.

Her eyes itched from the strain. The clock on her computer read a quarter after nine. It was so hard to keep track of the time without the sun outside her window. She should go to bed; her body already ached from the twelve hours she'd spent in her office. Her speech still needed work, but it was too hard to write. Closing her eyes only made her think of her mother. Elizabeth couldn't help wondering how she had died; if she had suffered when the fire came down from the sky. From what Caldwell had reported, Earth's demise had been quick.

It was in her dreams, burned into the back of her eyelids. Her mother stood over the stove in the kitchen, looking up just as the window exploded inward in a blast of heat. Her hair erupted into flame and her skin went black. Elizabeth couldn't hear anything except the roaring of her heartbeat in her ears, but her imagination saw everything.

When she shook it away, her hands were still trembling and her t-shirt was damp with sweat. Elizabeth forced herself to turn her attention back to her computer. If she couldn't focus on her speech, she could at least keep working on the manifest. Teyla and Lorne had been good about keeping track of everyone. Many of the refugees from Earth were elderly parents and children. There were significant numbers of younger people, many of the scientists and some of the military personnel had spouses. Most of them had careers.

Teyla and Lorne had already weeded out anyone with medical talent. Beckett had gained three doctors, including Simon. Beside Kate, Atlantis now had two other psychiatrists and a social worker. Some of the refugees had been teachers, even a few college professors. Lorne's father would have many people to organize into a school system.

Again her mind wandered, picturing the children of the city attending classes in some of the empty rooms on the lower level. Would her child have John's eyes? Would he or she like mathematics or art classes? John was very intelligent, no matter how well he hid it. Would that be an advantage? She couldn't picture her child. Elizabeth was still having a hard time getting her mind around the idea of her pregnancy. It was still so intangible. If she didn't know better she'd still be writing off her nausea as a lingering case of the stomach flu.

Three months ago her biggest concern was imminent attack by the Wraith or Replicators. Then it was how to handle a moment's intoxicated indiscretion on an alien planet. Even being banished from Atlantis by the Ancients was easier than this. Remembering that reminded her of her aborted attempt at writing her memoirs. Carson had pointed out she'd never be able to punish them on Earth, but ironically now they were the last link she had. Earth had been her home, once, but the last time she was there all she'd wanted was to get away. Elizabeth fought with her eyes, looking through the screen as she opened her memoirs and started at the beginning. Not at the beginning of her time in Atlantis, but at her very first memory.

She'd been outside, in the garden, waiting for her father to appear over the side of the hedge. She knew his face would eventually erupt from the leaves to surprise her. With all the seriousness of her toddler's mind, she knew her father would appear more than she knew the sun would rise. There was something cathartic about writing down her goodbye to Earth.
~*~*~*~*~

---

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Simon called as he hurried down the hallway to catch up with the elusive Colonel Sheppard. John ignored him, dipping down a corridor and disappearing into one of those transporters. He'd only met the man briefly yesterday, but it was becoming obvious Sheppard had it in for him. He'd been running an errand for Doctor Beckett, picking up more sutures from the supply storage, the first time he'd passed him in the hallway. He nearly brushed it off when John shot him a glare that would have melted an ice sculpture.

Simon had only caught it out of the corner of his eye. When he looked, John was smiling quietly to himself. He would have put it off as an accidental misunderstanding, but he'd run into the colonel again at lunch. John was picking up two meals, carefully balancing one plate against the other on a silver tray. He'd been behind him in line, waiting for the other man to finish with the offering of sandwiches. John had tripped just at the end, managing to save his tray only by bringing his arm down on Simon's hand.

His plate had gone flying, landing on the floor in a pile. John had apologized very politely, even offered to get someone to help clean it up. He'd refused to do so himself, saying Elizabeth was waiting for her lunch. There was something about the way he said her name; how John lingered over it. He had smiled when he left. He knew something.

Simon found himself finding excuses to talk about Elizabeth. Looking for any excuse to hear what she'd been doing and how extraordinary her life had become. Doctor Beckett was only happy to oblige, sharing stories of heroism that surprised him. He'd known Elizabeth was brave, gutsier than he'd believe, but no one had ever been able to tell him what she did. Everything was always top secret.

"Suppose that doesn't count for much anymore?" Carson asked rhetorically. "No government, no reason to keep anything top secret is there?" He ran his hand thoughtfully across his head, ruffling his brown hair. "Let's see, where was I..."

"...the Genii tried to take over Atlantis," Simon filled in as he organized the pharmaceutical cabinet on the infirmary wall.

"Oh right, right," Carson turned back to his microscope, studying some blood sample he'd been working on all afternoon. "Rodney and Elizabeth were held hostage by this madman, Kolya, while Sheppard ran around killing Kolya's men. Got the bastard right pissed off and killed a full company of his soldiers." Looking up long enough to grin proudly, Carson continued. "So then Kolya tries to grab Elizabeth and take her through the gate. Ford and Sheppard took out most of the guys, but Kolya was left holding Elizabeth-" Carson mimed holding a person to his chest. "He kept going, betting John wouldn't shoot him..."

"...and?" Simon prodded, waiting for the end of the story.

"Bam!" Carson exclaimed proudly. "Rodney said he just shot him, missed Elizabeth entirely and hit Kolya right in the shoulder." He chuckled, remembering Rodney's rendition of the story. "It was a very nice shot." Still smiling, he returned to the microscope. "Damn...would you look at that?" Carson waved Simon over. "Ever done any work with retroviruses?"

"A little..." Simon admitted as he waited for his turn. "What am I looking for?"

"See the protein markers?" Carson coaxed as he brought up the microscope on the display. "The ones I've stained blue are normal, but these..." he indicated the bright green in the blood sample. "...these are the ones altered by the retrovirus. It's specifically changing her DNA, splicing in just this group of cells all over her body."

"That can't be natural," Simon pointed out as Carson showed him the DNA profiles. "The retrovirus would have to be specifically tailored to the subject's own DNA to be this effective."

"Well, you're half-right," Carson explained as he pulled up the fetal blood cells he'd been able to extract from Elizabeth's sample that afternoon. "The subject is nine weeks pregnant and this virus seems to have been generated by the fetus. The genes that are being spliced, here and here..." he indicated more bright green markers, "...were taken from the father's DNA."

"You're telling me someone wrote a virus that takes a specific gene from the father's DNA and writes it into the mother's?" Simon wondered incredulously. "Do you have any idea how complex that would be?"

"Aye," Carson whistled as he shook his head. "I'm setting up the machine to run a full sequence now. Maybe they left us a calling card."

"Or an instruction manual," Simon complained as he stared at the DNA. "Does she have any symptoms? Is this causing any problems for her?"

"Well, no, not outside the ordinary complaints from pregnancy," Carson said as he tilted his head thoughtfully. "It's possible the retrovirus is magnifying her symptoms, so far her nausea and exhaustion have been on the severe side."

"And this gene pattern," Simon folded his arms across his chest and tried to remember everything he had learned so far. "This is the Ancient gene? The one you call ATA?"

"Aye, that's it," Carson agreed, pleased Simon was catching on so quickly. "Whoever designed this, meant it to seed the mother with what we call ATA, or as Elizabeth found in the database, LK476. Now, if the mother has it, since ATA is a dominant trait it would be passed on to all her children. This virus seems to make sure the mother gets it..."

"...that way if she had children with another man, the gene would still be passed on, rather useful if the culture doesn't value monogamy," Simon continued for him. "Have you done any contagion tests? Is this virus being spread around the city? Sanitary conditions can't be the best with so many refugees."

"It doesn't seem to be able to spread..." Carson trailed off as he studied the results in front of him. "I'll try infecting a different blood culture and see if that does anything."
~*~*~*~*~

---

"Do you miss Earth?" Ronon asked him as he caught up in the hallway.

"Kinda," John replied, shrugging a little as he checked off the rooms that were occupied.

"Atlantis is your home," Ronon answered for him as he fell in step with him. "Earth was just were you came from."

"Don't get me wrong," John said, sticking a note with the name 'Stackhouse' on the room that housed the Colonel and his family. "Earth was a pretty fantastic place. Cars, football, jet airplanes, football, steaks you can't eat in one sitting..."

"...football?" Ronon teased, smiling knowingly. "I miss festivals on Sateda, going to a holiday and knowing why I was there."

"Super Bowl parties..." John added as he nodded in agreement. "Being part of a crowd that's all celebrating the same thing."

"It's pretty rough on your people," Ronon commented as he helped John stick a note with a last name on the next doorway. "Not knowing about the Replicators and suddenly being wiped out. On Sateda we went down fighting."

"I'm sure Earth did too," John sighed, wondering yet again how terrible that final battle had been. What had they done when the drones ran out? "We're not really the type to go quietly."

"Good," Ronon agreed as he took a glance down at John's list. "Any warriors?"

"A few..." John answered without much confidence. "Mostly families."

"Family can be an asset," Ronon pointed out as the corridor curved past the quarters John and Elizabeth made their home. Borrowing a sheet of paper from John's clipboard, Ronon wrote 'WEIR' in large block letters and stuck it on the door with a grin. "You know she's the head of your family."

John shook his head indignantly, starting to chuckle when he realized it was probably true.

"She doing all right?" Ronon asked as they headed onwards. "Throwing up less?"

Now John had to shake his head. "You know, she says she is..."

"...then she isn't," Ronon finished for him. "Weir's like Teyla. She can't stop. She could be dying and she'd drag herself up to help someone else. She's looking for trouble, doing that pregnant."

"I'm open to suggestions," John said helplessly and lowered his clipboard for a moment.

"Tell her you need her," Ronon sagely replied, tossing one of his knives into the air and catching it neatly. "Let her rescue you. Keep her close." He patted John the shoulder, nearly leaving a bruise behind. "Think of yourself as bait. Women love that."

John closed his eyes, rubbing his shoulder and trying to decide if there was merit in what Ronon had said. The guy had been married after all. Glancing down at his watch, he realized it was nearly midnight. She'd still be in her office. Elizabeth wouldn't leave until he carried her out of there, conscious or unconscious. He tucked his work under his arm and headed for the transporter. He was still turning over what to say as the transporter opened onto the control room.

Murphy was there, calm at his place at the console. Zelenka and one of the Japanese scientists were arguing about something at the science station. Neither of them looked up as he passed.
~*~*~*~*~

---

John was on the catwalk to her office when the voice stopped him. The world darkened around him, as if he was about to sneeze and his eyes were closing.

"It's a heavy burden, isn't it?" Queen Mab began from behind him. "Her shoulders seem a little slight, but perhaps together you're strong enough."

"Who the hell are you?" John snapped, turning around and pulling his sidearm. Even though the city had gone gray around him, she was in full color and obviously responsible.

The Queen smiled calmly as he pointed his pistol at her chest. She'd chosen to appear to him in the simple black dress she'd worn into exile. Her gray and black hair hung heavily over her shoulders onto her chest. "I did so hope she'd tell you," Mab shook her head slowly. "I am Queen Mab, you conceived your child at my festival."

"Okay," John said warily, keeping his gun leveled at her chest. If she was an ancient, a bullet wouldn't hurt her, but it did make him feel safer. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to talk," she offered as she opened her palms in a sign of friendship. "I've already visited your Elizabeth, but I gather she didn't mention it to you."

"She didn't want me to worry," John guessed as he tossed a look back towards Elizabeth in her office. She had her eyes closed and she was clinging to the edges of the crate that served as a desk. As he watched she stood up weakly, her face strained. "Elizabeth?" He kept the gun pointed loosely in Mab's direction, but he backed quickly into her office.

Elizabeth didn't see him. When she opened her eyes, she looked right through him and there was pain in her face.

"Why can't she see me?" he demanded, straightening his hold on the pistol.

Mab walked right up to it, letting him rest the barrel on her chest. "You're out of sync with her reality at the moment," she explained lightly.

"She's in pain," John realized, giving up on the gun as he turned back to Elizabeth. She was still clinging to the crate, as if she couldn't stand on her own. Her eyes twitched and then tightened. "She's in trouble," he worried, whirling back to Mab angrily. "Let me go."

Shaking her head, Mab suddenly grew brighter, as if she had sucked the light from the rest of the room. "I need you to listen to me," Mab commanded, her voice growing deeper as she spoke.

John turned away from her, watching as Elizabeth's skin grew pale. There was sweat on her forehead, catching in her hair. Something was wrong; her knuckles were too white, and she was too unsteady on her feet. "Not now!" he shut her down, feeling something crackle in the air between them. "I need to be with her, so let me go," he growled as rationally as he could.

"Do you know what you're protecting?" Mab asked him softly, teasing him with her voice.

Rushing to Elizabeth, his hands passed through her shoulders. Glaring his fury at Mab, he watched her approach as Elizabeth started to bite her lip. "Let me go," he demanded slowly, feeling the words tear out of his throat. "She needs me."

"My presence causes her pain," Mab explained darkly, moving closer to Elizabeth to prove her point.

Immediately, Elizabeth's eyes widened and one of her hands left the desk to clutch her stomach.

"Then leave!" John lashed out, shouting as his fist slammed into her chin.

To her own surprise, Mab felt blood run down her chin. Staring at it with vague amusement, she smiled at John and backed up a step from Elizabeth. "You are truly intriguing John Sheppard," she said thoughtfully, backing up further to allow Elizabeth the chance to breathe. "And you have no idea what power you hold."

"Just say what you need to say," he surrendered, nervously pacing just behind Elizabeth. She rocked in place, trying to manage the sudden agony in her abdomen. "Dammit, get it over with," John hissed again, clenching his teeth.

"You'd give it all up for her," Mab foretold quietly, still rubbing a trickle of blood from her chin. "Losing Earth didn't faze you; in fact the rest of the universe could fade from existence as long as you have her..."

John ignored her and watched the droplet of sweat race down Elizabeth's temple to catch in a curl of her hair.

"...you value yourself most in service to others but you have no idea what that will demand from you," she continued, as her smile blossomed proudly. "Nor do you care, do you?"

"I need to touch her," John begged but there was an ultimatum in his voice. "Don't make me..."

"Oh my dear Sheppard," Mab replied, cackling with laughter. "How long it's been since I encountered a creature like you. Go, take care of her, but...remember this, if you recall nothing else from our conversation; you know why you were born and why your path has led you to this place. Be strong in your heart."
~*~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth was seconds away from calling for help over the radio when the pain stopped. As quickly as it had manifested, it was gone. Bewildered and exhausted she just stood there, resting her weight on her desk until John's hands startled her back to reality.

"You okay?" he asked with deep concern. His forehead was furrowed, tight with worry.

"Where did you?" Elizabeth started to ask before she realized she didn't care. The sudden attack was over and all she felt was numb. "I didn't see you."

"Who's Mab?" John wondered, waiting for her to let him guide her back to the chair.

Elizabeth sighed, feeling the air take the strength to stand out of her body along with it. "She's an Ancient," she responded softly, still clinging to the desk as her muscles started to give out. "She did something to us, made us conceive on Ceol." His hands ran gently down her back, making sure she remained steady. "Did she?"

"Appeared in my head," John answered grimly. "Hateful bitch, isn't she?"

A smile tore at her lips, surprising her slightly. "She's insane, but she's trying to tell us something," Elizabeth explained patiently as she pulled herself up, letting go of the crate that served as her desk. "There's some truth in her ramblings..." She reached for his forehead, trying to smooth the worry with her hand. "I think she's mostly harmless."

"She hurt you," John argued back, unwilling to let the Ancient woman off so easily. "She said her presence causes you pain," he admitted trying to remember anything else Mab had said that was useful.

"That seems to be the case," Elizabeth agreed, groaning slightly as she let him lead her back into the chair.

"Elizabeth?" he warned, still wanting to whisk her off to the infirmary and let Beckett run all the tests he could think of.

"I'm just tired," she offered softly, not quite believing it herself. "It's been a long day." She ran a hand through the curls on her head, letting them fall onto her shoulders. "Hasn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed with open eyes and a quick nod of his head. "Tomorrow will be better."

"How do you...?"

"I don't know," John teased with a grin. "But it sounds better than worrying tomorrow will be horrible, doesn't it?"

"That's almost sweet," she sighed, leaning her head back against his stomach. Elizabeth closed her eyes, taking in the grounding smell of his skin through his shirt. "I don't know if I can do this," she murmured to his shirt. The fabric was soft, washed too many times already. "How are we going to take care of everyone? Keep them all safe?"

John was quiet as he bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"We don't have any backup," she reminded him darkly. "Hell, John we are the backup. If anything happens now, to the Daedalus or the Odyssey, we have to save them. The Athosians, our trade partners, every village, every town full of innocent people..." overwhelmed by the idea, she trailed off, unable to think about it anymore.

"You know, I hate to ruin the moment," John said lightly, drawing her out of her melancholy. "But we were their best hope before, and if you look on the bright side, we have a flying city now." He pointed to the starscape hanging outside the window. "It took the Wraith hundreds of years to even get the Ancients retreat from this city. We can get rid of the Replicators in less time than that. Think of the tactical advantage, we have McKay, Zelenka, and Carter...with the three of them and a few more stolen Replicator ships we'll be a fleet."

Circling the crate, John shut her computer and balanced his elbows on it. "Just think, for once the fleet of powerful spaceships descending from the sky will be the good guys," he promised her hopefully. "When we first came to Pegasus, Teyla showed me drawings on the wall of the ruins. The newer ones were all about the Wraith, but some of the older ones showed the Ancients. Atlantis used to be a beacon of hope for this entire galaxy. We can do that. We have three ZPMs, we can fly the city."

Standing up, he looked down at the gate and pictured all the planets he'd been to through it. "You wanted us to set an example," he reminded her, still feeling the passion in her desire to peace. "We're going to be hope," he promised both of them. "Hope with drones and energy weapons."

"Hope with energy weapons?" Elizabeth asked with a smile. Bending down to rescue her dishes from the floor, she stood up. A moment was all she had needed to recover temporarily, at least enough to get to bed.

"I'll get 'em tomorrow," John tilted his head towards the dishes and told her to leave them. "I don't know about you, but I could sleep all day."

"Do you remember what it's like to get enough sleep?" she asked softly, knowing he couldn't answer any more than she could.

"You still doing okay?" John worried, hoping the dark circles beneath her eyes would disappear sooner rather than later.

"I think we could have picked a better time," Elizabeth conceded softly, squeezing his hand in an attempt to stop his worry. "If we, hypothetically, ever do this again, can we pick the part of our lives when no one's trying to wipe us out of existence?"

John pretended to be crushed, lowering his eyes to his boots and refusing to meet her gaze. "So you're saying you don't want another child?"

"No, not that," Elizabeth tried to explain.

He brought up his head, grinning wickedly.

"Someone's always trying to kill us," she realized gently. "Okay...can I have shorter days next time? Maybe an assistant?"

He caught her arm and kissed her cheek. "I know this is terrible, but I hope you know, no one's ever..."

Watching her smile at him slowly didn't help him find the words he wanted. In fact, it make it harder to think.

"...I never thought anyone would do this for me," he stuttered, trying to find a way to explain it better. "I know it's awful for you, I mean, I can't really understand what it's like to feel like you're going to throw up all the time..."

"...it's all right John," she concluded for him, patting his hand as he kept it on her arm. "I'm all right."

"You look like hell," he retorted, wrapping an arm protectively around her back as he started to lead her out of her office.

"You're really not big on the sweet talking, are you?" she teased, trying to turn the subject away from her health.

"Sorry," he replied, wincing playfully when she glared at him.

"Sheppard, can I see you for a moment?" Ronon's voice echoed deeply through the radio. "Teyla and I have something. We need you in the chair room."

John nodded as he replied; "Be right down." He paused, meeting Elizabeth's eyes before he started to apologize.

She stopped him with a wave of her hand. "Go John, I'll see you when you come to bed," she said, understanding completely. "I'm sure it's important."

"You are important," he muttered softly enough that only she could hear him. "I'll be quick."
~*~*~*~*~

---

"...you want to do what?" John repeated, dumbfounded by Ronon's suggestion.

"The Replicators were built to fight the Wraith," Ronon explained slowly, turning his knife over in his hand as he leaned over the back of the throne chair. "I'm just saying we let them."

"It would not take much to convince the Wraith to attempt to attack Earth," Teyla agreed with Ronon. "They will rush to Earth as soon as I feed them the information."

"Okay," John ran a hand through his hair and paced the perimeter of chair room. "Let me get this straight, you want me to let you tell the Wraith how to increase their hyperdrive, so they can reach Earth."

"Earth's been completely lost to the Replicators," Ronon reminded him firmly. Turning around, he leaned back on the chair lazily. "And the Replicators fight Wraith, so we let 'em. Any chance to diminish the number of Wraith in the galaxy is one we have to take."

"Earth is-" John started nervously, still trying to wrap his head around what was happening.

"Gone," Ronon finished for him. "Dead and gone. If it were Sateda, you wouldn't hesitate. I wouldn't hesitate."

"He is right John," Teyla put herself in the way of John's pacing. "Letting the Wraith and Replicators fight it out will reduce the numbers of both of our enemies." Staring into his eyes, she realized how little of his attention was in the room with her. His mind was wandering and he was exhausted. "We will come up with a plan and present it to you and Doctor Weir in the morning. I suggest you get some sleep."

"She keeping you up?" Ronon teased, creeping up behind John so he was surrounded.

"No," he defended himself weakly. Taking the moment to think, John sank to the edge of the chair platform, sighing as he rested his hands on his black pants. "Not really..."

"...but she is sick?" Teyla prodded, bending down to touch his shoulder.

Fidgeting with his bootlaces, John sighed before he looked up. "I don't know how she does it," he said, staring at the floor as he thought. Earth was gone. Nothing he, Rodney, or anyone else could do would bring it back. Standing up, he looked from Ronon to Teyla and nodded.

"It's a good idea," John finally conceded, putting aside the idea that he was letting the Wraith get to Earth. Earth was a smoking ball of rock and all that matters was that he kept the city safe. "Come up with a plan, bring it to me and Elizabeth, I'll make sure we have a staff meeting tomorrow so you can present it."
~*~*~*~*~

She made didn't even make it down the stairs before people needed her. Rodney wanted her to approve Jeannie joining his science team, and let him put her in charge of getting the civilian scientists who had just joined them up to speed. She had just dispatched him, admonishing him for staying up so late when Stackhouse needed to ask about the military situation.

He wanted a listing of all the people still coming from the alpha site on both ships. Some of the SGC personnel had a lot of experience and would be useful on their exploration teams. Integrating them with Pegasus teams was his first priority. After Stackhouse, it was Sergeant Ketterman, who needed to know what kind of schedule she wanted meals to be on for the rest of the week. Her eyes were glazing over and she was so tired she wasn't sure who was talking to her when the next one arrived.

"Elizabeth?" Simon began tentatively. "I thought you'd be in bed."

"Working on it," she replied as she tried to decide if she wanted to listen to what he had to say or not. Leaning towards the latter, Elizabeth stood up. The room swam a little, threatening to leave her vulnerable in front of him. "Can I do something for you?"

"I just..." Simon stopped, realizing how pathetic he must sound. "I just wanted to see how you were. I've been spending time with your surgeon, Carson, and his mother, and I was wondering if your mother was here."

"No," she answered sharply. Biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, Elizabeth sighed and forced herself to be civil. Simon had liked her mother. "She wasn't picked up by the Odyssey."

"God, Elizabeth, I'm sorry..." he exclaimed quickly, trying not to let the loss of yet another person destroy what little confidence he had left. "Are you?"

"I'm all right Simon," she took a step away from the crate holding her computer. "I just haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately." She couldn't tell him. That revelation was better saved for a day when she could tell him politely.

"Are you sure?" he pressed again, studying the greyish cast of her skin with professional concern.

"Though I appreciate it," she forced herself not to snap at him. "My health is really none of your concern."

"I know, I..." Simon started and then sighed heavily. "I just wanted to see someone I knew." He started to walk away, but turned back, testing his luck. "It was wrong of me, to tell you about her."

"I don't think the telling was the part you should be apologizing for," Elizabeth retorted, letting her words sting him. "Telling me about her, whoever she was, was the only right thing you did back on Earth."

"I never got to tell you," Simon began, changing the subject away from his indiscretions. "Your goodbye message..."

"Don't..." Elizabeth warned, raising her hand and trying to shut him down.

"...was beautiful," he finished softly. "I must have watched it, God, hundreds of times. And then, when I was sitting alone in the dark in our living room, I realized that I was in love with the video." Simon blocked the door of her office, keeping her from shoving him aside and ending the conversation. "For more than a year all I had of you were two video tapes. No letters, no phone calls, just two video tapes."

His head dropped and he stopped looking at her face. "I couldn't do that anymore," he offered as a poor excuse. "I wanted to touch someone, to come home and have someone be in my house." He ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the shaggy curls. "That wasn't you, even when we were in the same galaxy."

"Now you're being unfair," Elizabeth corrected him mercilessly. "You can't blame this on me. If you wanted to break up with me, you had the chance the moment you saw me again, but you brought me into your house. You made me dinner, acted like nothing had changed-"

"I should have come with you," Simon interrupted.

She dropped her hands to her chest, wrapping them tightly around herself.

"I was afraid of leaving Earth," he admitted when she wouldn't look at him. "You tried to tell me how wondrous this place was. Show me how exciting your life had become, but I couldn't go with you."

"What are you trying to say?" Elizabeth demanded angrily, still feeling rage rush through her body.

"I'm glad I'm here now," he whispered to the floor, still unable to find the strength to meet her eyes.

Her entire body was tight with rage, muscles straining against her skin. Her delicate fingers dug into her arm, crushing the flesh against the bone. "What do you want?"

Simon reached for her, taking a step closer to touch her arm. She didn't retreat as he expected, instead she just stood there letting his hand brush across her cheek. Elizabeth's skin was cold and clammy with exhaustion.

"When's the last time you slept?" Simon asked softly, concern finally breaking through his own thoughts.

"Doesn't matter," Elizabeth replied curtly, slowly removing his hand from her arm. Instead of holding it, she released it, letting it drop to his side. "Are you going to say something?"

"Are you sick Elizabeth?" Simon demanded without listening to her. The signs were there in the glazing of her eyes, and the grayish undertones of her skin. "You're barely standing."

"I'm not sick," she snapped, biting her tongue to make her voice less caustic. He was so close she could smell his cologne and the hint of unwashed skin. Elizabeth held her ground, keeping him from advancing any farther into her office. The scent of him twisted her stomach. She'd gotten used to the practicality of military officers; none of them wore any cologne to offend her newly delicate sense of smell.

"You can't keep your eyes still," Simon corrected her as he watched her struggle to keep her gaze level. "I am a doctor, Elizabeth."

"I just need to go back to my room," she insisted, trying to convince him to let her out of her office. Elizabeth sighed and tried to get past him. Her head pounded as her body protested her abuse. "Maybe we can talk tomorrow?"

"Elizabeth," Simon worried, catching her chin as she tried to leave her office and him behind. Forcing her to meet his gaze, he studied the dark circles in the skin beneath her eyes.

Shuddering involuntarily at the contact, she stared back. "I'm pregnant," she explained finally, watching her revelation cut into his reality.

His hand dropped from her face as if she had suddenly gotten too hot to touch. Simon backed up, inadvertently running the doorway. He turned away, retreating to the catwalk as he tried to pull himself together.

Elizabeth took the opportunity to walk past him, already more than finished with the conversation. Her feet protested along with her legs and it seemed every part of her was united in displeasure.

"I thought you didn't want children," Simon called after her finally.

There was a harshness in his voice she recognized as suffering. Stopping just before she entered the control room, Elizabeth paused thoughtfully. A year ago she would have been pleased to hurt him, considering the way he'd torn her heart out when he'd refused to join the expedition. Turning around to face him, she managed to smile wistfully. "Things change," she answered as she left him on the catwalk. "Like you said, I'm the one who likes to explore new things."

"You're not being fair," Simon complained to the empty air where she had been.

Elizabeth hurried through the control room, more than ready to be out of his sight. Her stomach was threatening rebellion again, and the last thing she was going to let Simon see her be any more vulnerable.

"Wait," he begged, finally catching up to her as she ducked into the transporter. Simon caught the door, keeping it open as he stared her down. "He- Sheppard- he's the father, isn't he?"

Crossing her arms firmly over her chest, Elizabeth didn't have to acknowledge the question. Simon got his answer from the ice in her eyes.

"You were right," she conceded, enjoying the desolate look that overtook his face. "I was gone a long time." The door to the transporter hissed shut, leaving her alone and trembling inside. She had no excuse to behave the way she did. Dropping her head to her hand, she knew she'd regret it eventually, but right now it was something she needed to do. At least, that was what Elizabeth kept telling herself all the way to her quarters.

"...any questions?" Ronon waited half a moment before he slapped the table and stood up. "No, good, alright, we'll be back."

Teyla watched him with veiled amusement as she translated his meaning. "It will take almost two days to reach the territory of Michael's hive ship. We do not know how long it may take to contact them. Hopefully we will succeed in convincing them that Atlantis has gone renegade and is ready to give up the location of Earth..."

"Think rebel thoughts," John teased her as he fidgeted with the handle of his cup.

"We'll see your team on the Daedalus in an hour?" Caldwell checked as he started to stand. "If you'll excuse me, Sir, Ma'am," he paused and nodded to Jack and Elizabeth. "I have preparations to make before takeoff. My pilot hasn't taken off from a space station before." He glanced politely around the table and left the conference room.

"I assume you have a team prepared?" Jack asked Teyla as she too started to stand up.

"Ronon, one of Doctor Beckett's medics, myself, and Colonel Sheppard volunteered to fly the jumper." Teyla answered quickly. "We thought keeping the team small would minimize the risk."

Jack coughed slightly before taking a sip of water from his cup. "I'm sorry, something in my throat," he excused easily. "It was thoughtful of you to volunteer, Colonel, but I'm going to send Major Lorne instead. Teyla, Ronon, I wish you well."

Elizabeth took her cue from the general. "You're all dismissed, thank you," she said as she stood slowly. Her hands stayed on the table; white fingers supporting her weight as she waited for her head to clear.

John had meant to let her get more sleep; start the meeting later in the day, but there was so much to do. She'd crawled into bed next to him last night and just lay there awake while he tried to finish his agenda for the day. He'd tried to talk, but she just wanted to put her head on his chest. He wasn't used to the quiet Elizabeth. The woman who only seemed to want to be near him; without speaking or even looking at his face, didn't seem to fit with the rest of her.

She touched his shoulder, smiling quietly before she left. It was a little gesture, her fingers against his arm, but it distracted him enough that he missed the glare he was getting from across the table.

"Colonel," Jack barked as John started to leave. "Have a seat."

Startled, John returned from the doorway and flopped into a chair. "Yes, Sir," he replied quickly and watched the general with confusion.

"Tell me why you thought it would be a good idea to volunteer to fly the jumper on this mission?" Jack demanded immediately after the doors sealed around them. "Actually, do it without the word 'thought' because I'm sure that was absent from your brain."

"I'm the best pilot we have, Sir," John defended himself without really know why he was under fire. His hands found their way into his lap as Jack circled behind him.

"What part of this mission is especially difficult to pilot?" Jack wondered innocently as he grabbed the back of the chair behind John's head.

Sitting forward in his chair, John started to doubt this was going to end well. "I just thought..."

"..you didn't think," Jack corrected again, more harshly than he needed too. "We covered that already."

Getting frustrated, John started out of his chair. Jack caught his shoulders and shoved him back down into the black chair.

"What do you want me to say?" Jack began softly as he circled to sit on the table and folded his hands apologetically before dropping them to his blue uniform. "When I have to look at your child and explain who you were, what do you want me to say? Got any special anecdotes you're fond of?"

"You think I'm going to die?" John returned as he stared up at the older man. He was expecting to find humor in Jack's brown eyes, but there was none.

"How many jumpers have you lost to the Wraith?" Jack asked; watching as understanding started to come into John's face.

His eyebrows tightened and John finally began to get it.

"Other people can fly jumpers," Jack pointed out with iron calm. "Do you want other people keeping an eye on Elizabeth? Teaching your kid to walk?"

John waved him quiet as he stared down at the smooth glass surface of the table. He wondered why Elizabeth hadn't fought him. She'd always been too self-sacrificial and too quick to give up what she needed. "You're right," he admitted slowly. Feeling the weight of fatherhood settle hard around his shoulders, he leaned back in his chair.

"I'm sorry," Jack said as a peace offering. "I know where you're coming from. I'd love to fly the damn thing myself."

"But you're the head of the military, Sir," John replied as everything sunk in like a shotgun blast.

"And therefore, I never get to do anything fun," Jack complained as he fidgeted with the stylus for John's laptop. "You're functionally my second-in-command, and Elizabeth's military commander. You have no business out there; professionally or personally. I just wanted to knock it into your head. You can go, Colonel."

John slipped from his chair slowly, still trying to sort it out in his head. "Elizabeth told me what you asked her," he said to the door. Not quite ready to meet the general's eyes for that thought.

"Well," Jack began, dropping the stylus to the table with a clink. "Figured it was about time, and it gives us something to look forward to after the memorial service."

"I hate-" John started, "-funerals."

"-funerals," Jack finished with him. Shrugging as he swung his feet off the edge of the table, Jack tried to make the best of it. "Lost my dress uniform."

John managed to chuckle. "That's almost the best thing I've heard all morning, Sir," he agreed quietly. "Elizabeth's agonizing over her speech."

"She is that type," Jack complimented lightly as he bounced off the table. "The perfectionist-"

"-stoic, terrible at taking care of herself..." John's voice faded before he finished. "Everyone worries about her because she doesn't worry about herself."

"Doubt she knows it though," Jack added, tucking his hands in his pockets.

"She doesn't," John agreed finally. Scratching the back of his head helped him think. "Carter's looking better."

"She's tough," Jack replied with a grin of admiration. "Can't wait to get back to her ship."

"Any word on the rest of her team?" John asked as he opened the door into the hallway.

"SG-1?" Jack asked rhetorically. Grinning mysteriously, he moved out of the way of a group of civilians being herded somewhere down the hall. "SG-1 always turns up. Usually at the last minute, with something amazing."

John had to smile slightly in response; he'd read the mission reports. He glanced up towards Elizabeth's office. He could see her pacing around her desk, trying to work out the kinks of her speech. He'd tried to tell her that there was no standard for eulogizing an entire planet; that everyone just needed some closure and a chance to grieve. "Tonight?"

"My money's on tomorrow actually," Jack teased, turning away down a different hall towards the Artemis on the north pier. "Rodney's running a pool, takes an Earth artifact to get in."

"I have the last remaining Johnny Cash poster in my bag..." John offered as they parted ways. "I'll put it on tonight, oh-three hundred?"

"Done."
~*~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth was back in her black commando uniform, but it only made her look smaller as she stood in front of the crowd of people. She'd picked the eastern pier, trying to find enough space for nine hundred people wasn't the easiest to work out, but she was fairly certain everyone could see her or the projection behind her.

Zelenka had somehow found the time to rig a projector to throw her image up on the inside of the shield. As he stood beside her, John couldn't help peering back at the Elizabeth hanging in the stars. It was a good look for her.

"Thank you for coming," she started softly, hearing her voice reverberate through the public address system. "I know how difficult this is for all of you. An hour can't go by without me thinking of Earth."

John watched her hands. Her fingers were wrapped around her father's watch; the silver chain dangling against her wrist.

"The weight of what we've lost is too heavy to bear alone," she continued, keeping her voice firm and level. "It may even be too heavy to bear together, but, we will carry it. I know it seems incomprehensible. That nine hundred feels too small of a number to possibly rebuild a society. And we won't be rebuilding." She closed her eyes for a moment, letting her eyelids chase the tears that stung her eyes.

"We can't pretend we can reclaim Earth, or reassemble all that existed of ten thousand years of existence. Our homes, our families, and our collective history as a people is gone. I know many of you want to follow it into the void. To give up now and never try to tackle our new challenge before it destroys what's left of us," she paused and took a deep breath.

"We have to stop thinking that way," Elizabeth demanded with more strength than John knew she had left. "We can't think of ourselves as the remnants of Earth. We are Atlantis. We are scientists, teachers, doctors, and soldiers; we are strong. We are united because this is our home. We came from many countries, many fractured nations on a troubled little world we called home. Now we are one. We can't let what we've lost drive us apart. In our grief, we are truly united because none of us can stand without those at our sides.

"There are creatures out there in the cold that will try to destroy us," Elizabeth reminded everyone as she pointed to the blackness of the space around them. "We've only just begun to learn the workings of this city and there a thousand secrets we will unlock on our journey. We will learn. We will grow and we will understand more about what makes us human.

"We have to let go of the idea that we survived out of luck, or the cruelty of fate," she commanded the hushed crowd. "We aren't alive because we're lucky, or because we're unlucky not to have died with the ones we loved. We are alive because humanity is too tough to go out without a fight. Because the light inside every one of us is too bright to be put out by machines. I want you to look around, see the faces of the people around you and see hope.

"We aren't refugees, castaways or the lost remnants of a dead civilization," she paused again, listening to the rustling of nine hundred heads turning. "We are the beginnings of a new world. Atlantis has been waiting ten thousand years for us. As you look up into the stars around us, know that many of those stars have planets with human populations. People decimated by a war that has been without end in this galaxy. We can stop this war. We can stop the Replicators, the Wraith, the Ori, and everything out there that could haunt our nightmares.

"When you look at yourselves, don't see survivors of Earth. See the saviors of the Pegasus Galaxy. Take your anger, your grief and despair, and feel the strength of your feelings. That strength flows in all of us, binding us together. Our loved ones that we've lost will always be with us, guiding our way on our new path and reminding us that we have a greater destiny. We may be of Earth, but we are Atlantis now and no power in the universe can take that from us."

Silence hung in the air when she stopped speaking; rushing all around them like a tangible thing. Elizabeth took a step back, letting go of the force that had kept her speaking. She seemed to get smaller, fading back into herself as she took John's hand. There was sweat on her palm and she seemed relieved when the projection of her disappeared from the sky.

John just nodded to her, completely dumbfounded by her eloquence. She closed her eyes for a moment when the applause started as if it surprised her. Her step towards him was unsteady and his arm was around her back before he even thought about it.

From her right, Jack and Sam joined the applause. There were tears in Sam's eyes and John remembered she'd lost her brother and his family. Jack just smiled proudly, as if he'd known exactly what she was going to say.

John caught sight of Rodney and Jeannie in the crowd. His niece was clinging to his neck and clapping slowly. Elizabeth's head dropped to his shoulder and he felt her sigh through the roar of applause. Squeezing her waist, John stood firm. He couldn't have said what she had, nor would he have believed it if anyone else had stood up there. His whisper was lost in the waves of sound, but she felt his lips against her ear.

Closing her eyes, Elizabeth let him take her weight. Her eyelashes were wet and she wondered when she had started to cry. Her mother was there watching; she'd felt her presence. John's hand wiped her face and remained on her cheek. "Goodbye mum," she whispered into the noise of shuffling feet and muffled voices. She couldn't hold on to her grief. There was too much at stake, too many lives around her that counted on her strength. "Keep an eye on me?"

John nuzzled her neck and his hand left her face to cradle her stomach. Her hand joined his, clinging to his fingers as she felt the weight of all of her responsibilities settle like a lump of lead into her stomach. She was Atlantis, her fears reminded her. Elizabeth was every person in that audience and a tiny part of her mind despaired that she'd never be just herself again.

"-love you," John's voice drifted into her ear, bringing fresh tears to her eyes. To him she'd always be Elizabeth, and she clung to that as fiercely as she held his fingers against her stomach.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Asgard transporters still startled him, John thought as he chided himself for jumping back from the light as it burst into the gate room. The white light faded into four figures. Teal'c was calm as he looked over the city. John had to remind himself the tall alien hadn't seen the city before. Jack and Sam were the welcoming committee as the little group dissolved in hugs. Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack before the general could even start to protest.

John recognized Colonel Cameron Mitchell from his short stay at the SGC. The fairly gorgeous brunette with them was also an alien. She'd been to Atlantis before with Daniel, when the archeologist had studied the ancient library. He couldn't remember her name as she nearly attacked Sam. He tried to imagine thinking he'd lost his team forever. He'd probably hug McKay if he came back from the dead.

"Good to see you again," John offered with a handshake to Mitchell.

For his part Cameron just grinned. "Thor took us to Earth, the Asgard wanted to test their new satellite weapon on the Replicators, but when we got there..."

"Huge battle!" Vala interjected excitedly as she peered around the gate room. "Wraith darts everywhere, Replicator ships falling from the sky..."

"...indeed," Teal'c added with a raised eyebrow. "It was quite impressive."

"Whatever you did," Daniel started gratefully, "Was a good plan. The losses on both sides were extensive."

John smiled softly, pleased with his team. "I'll make sure to pass it along when my team returns," he replied. "In the meantime, welcome to Atlantis..." he glanced and Teal'c before the rest of the team... "Again."

"Thank you," Cameron nodded as he sighed. "The Daniel Jackson is a great ship, but it just wasn't set up for long term human habitation."

"Retired Colonel Lorne is in charge is our acting quartermaster," John explained to Cameron as he watched Elizabeth arrive from her daily science briefing with Rodney and Zelenka. "She'll get you all set up with quarters as soon as she can. We're putting all the senior officers together in the east wing."

"It'll be nice to have my own bed, instead of a sleeping bag on the floor next to Jackson..." Cameron dropped his voice conspiratorially, "...he snores."

"So does McKay," John said, shrugging. "We have a lot of space, this city was designed to house thousands."

"How many did we save?" Cameron asked softly as he shook his head. "Never thought I'd be able to count the humans left alive."

"Or have them all in the same place," John agreed darkly. Elizabeth met his gaze across the room and he found the strength to smile. "But we're going to be alright."

"Yeah," Cameron said with as much conviction as he could muster in return. "Jack and Sam?"

"Together," John offered as he followed Cameron's gaze to their intertwined hands. "The fraternization rule's pretty much out the window."

"'Bout time," Cameron decided, smiling slightly as Jack met his stare with a wink. "I suppose everyone's going to pair off eventually."

John paused; he hadn't spent much time thinking about the future. He was with Elizabeth now and he realized it only made sense that everyone else would want to settle down as well. The rules would have to change with the times. "Guess so," he agreed without really committing. He should probably tell Cameron about Elizabeth now, before she walked over and gave him away.

"Teal'c and are going to have to get a move on before everyone is snapped up," Cameron said. He was teasing, but an undercurrent of truth ran through it. Vala was holding onto Daniel's arm, and he seemed to be enjoying the gesture. Sam and Jack were openly gazing longingly at each other, and something Sam had told Daniel made the archeologist beam as he kissed her cheek.

"Maybe we'll have to start having singles nights," John joked as lightly as he could. The seriousness was still there, but everyone was trying to keep it beneath the surface.

"General O'Neill mentioned you have a pretty successful movie night," Cameron lowered himself to the stairs with a sigh. "Any James Bond?"

"Star Wars is up next," John dropped to the stairs next to the other man and watched Elizabeth shake Teal'c's hand in welcome. "Would you believe she hasn't seen it?" He titled his head towards Elizabeth, smiling as she came their way.

"The big guy will be happy, he's a connoisseur of sci-fiction," Cameron pointed out as he inclined his head towards Teal'c.

"Colonel Mitchell, welcome back to Atlantis," Elizabeth offered, extending her hand down to him.

"Wish it was under better circumstances," Cameron replied, shaking her hand firmly. "Though it's certainly nice to be here, Ma'am."

Elizabeth nodded; even exhausted she was deeply proud of her city. She caught her forehead, giving away the nagging dizziness that had been bothering her since she'd gotten up. It seemed half the time he'd watched her today; she was clinging to something for balance.

Cameron looked down at her boots politely, pretending not to notice the look John gave her. Maybe he'd spent too much time watching the looks that weren't there between Sam and Jack; now he just saw relationships everywhere, but concern was naked on John's face.

Making room on the steps, he indicated the space next to him and offered up his hand. "How was your meeting?"

"McKay and Zelenka want to lead an attack on the Replicator home world," Elizabeth sighed heavily as she sank to the steps next to him. Her hair fell in dark curls around her head as she dropped it to her hands. "They heard about the Asgard satellite you were bringing and decided they need to wipe out the Replicators in order to get all the ZPMs and technology they might have on their home world."

"One thing at a time?" John asked quietly, smirking as he imagined Rodney's excitement. "I guess it didn't take them long to hear SG-1 was bringing home a new toy before they wanted to use it to destroy things."

"I thought we were all for destroying the Replicators?" Cameron wondered as he stared up at the ornate ceiling of the gate room. He folded his hands over his chest and lay back on the steps. "Probably should be doing it regardless. You can't make the argument letting the Replicators live is good for the galaxy. No matter what galaxy we're in."

"We lost Earth without provocation or warning," Elizabeth reminded him. John's hand slipped around her back, reminding her he'd support whatever she decided. "Though we've certainly been provoked now, I wanted to wait until all three ships were ready before coming up with a battle plan."

"I heard Carter bagged herself a command," Cameron teased, trying to lighten the mood as he stared over at Elizabeth's tired green eyes with new respect.

John scuffed his boot on the floor, still fidgeting as he sat. "The Artemis is a beautiful ship, Carter's lucky to have it."

"Amongst other things," Cameron added as he watched the general very publicly kiss Sam's cheek. "Well, thank you for the welcome; I'm going to go dig myself up some quarters to put my one bag of belongings in."

Elizabeth managed to smile at him as he left the steps, and Cameron nodded respectfully. "Doctor Jackson's making a list of things he wants to study," she whispered to John. Patting his hand on her side, Elizabeth tilted her head up to meet his eyes.

"Colonel Mitchell's a good man," John returned as they watched Sam introduce Teal'c to Rodney's niece. Maddie did amazing things for Rodney; in the week she'd been with them John had already seen the changes in his friend. "Doctor Jackson's probably the biggest Ancient expert in the universe and General O'Neill and are still aren't sure who would win in a fight between Ronon and Teal'c."

"We're certainly collecting a lot of colonels," Elizabeth pointed out as she ran through them in her mind. "Caldwell, Emerson, Carter, Mitchell, you-"

"-Lorne's mom," John interjected, grinning foolishly. "Were you in the mess hall when Rodney tried to cut in front of her in the food line?"

Shaking her head slowly, Elizabeth clung to his smile.

"She made him do push-ups," John explained as he watched the crowd start to disperse from the middle of a gate room. "I guess you had to be there..." he lost his thought as dragged himself to his feet, feeling the toll of the last few days in his muscles. "...it might be something you want to keep in mind though," he remembered suddenly. "For when Rodney gets out of line."

"I'll keep it in mind," Elizabeth agreed as she waited for his hand and hoped he wouldn't pull her up too quickly. The speed didn't seem to matter when her head spun anyway from the change in elevation. Putting up her hand kept John from moving long enough for her to regain her balance. "Sorry," she offered quietly; rubbing the exhaustion out of her eyes.

"You okay?" he almost smiled at himself when he asked the redundant question.

"My head's just a little foggy today," Elizabeth excused weakly and forced a smile when he didn't like her explanation. "Don't suppose you want to sit in on my trade negotiations with Laden Radim?"

"Did Beckett clear you for off-world travel?" John jumped; surprised Carson wasn't being more protective.

"The Genii delegation arrives in ten minutes," Elizabeth assured him. "Don't worry John."

"Is this the meeting where you tell them we'll let them have P-90s if they'll let us use their factories to make them?" John remembered from the morning's agenda. "Maybe you want General O'Neill, he's better at this sort of thing..."

"I didn't think so," Elizabeth said demurely, shaking her head at him as she contemplated the steps up to her office. "See you for dinner?"

"Definitely!" John perked up, relieved to be freed from the meeting. "I'll pick you up at your office?"

Elizabeth stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Okay," she agreed softly. There was something in her eyes that made him pause before he left her side. John caught her chin and returned her kiss with a far superior one. Breathlessness was a state Elizabeth was entirely unused too, as were the incredulous looks from the other side of the gate room.

"Six, sharp?" John promised, winking as he swaggered past everyone in the gate room on top of the world.

Sam and Jack's footsteps echoed on the stairs as they followed her up to her office. "Is this a good time?" Sam ventured shyly.

Elizabeth checked the face of watch. "Seven minutes until the Genii," she said as she retreated to her chair. "Have a seat."

"Love what you've done with the place," Jack teased as he pulled up a crate. He patted his lap, offering it to Sam. She shook her head and pulled up a crate of her own.

"I know its short notice, but general-"

Jack coughed, interrupting Sam's habit.

"-Jack," she corrected herself with the same shy flush of color across her face. "And I think now might be the best time."

"We just need something to wear," Jack added, reaching across to take Sam's hand firmly into his own.

"The Athosians have been kind enough to help us find everything we need," Elizabeth said as she added a note on her list of things to request. "Woolsey's still with them if you want to go through him."

"I thought he'd come back?" Jack wondered. Playing with Sam's fingers as he talked made her glare at him until he stopped.

"He seems to need some time away from technology, after the Replicators and everything that happened," Elizabeth explained. Remembering how relieved Woolsey was to see trees and ground, she had been happy he'd found good friends in the Athosians. Both of them slipped out of focus for a moment when her eyes rebelled against her. When her vision corrected itself, Sam and Jack were both staring with concerned expressions.

"What?" Elizabeth asked innocently.

"You faded out there for a moment," Sam explained. Retrieving her hand from Jack's grasp, her gaze bored through Elizabeth's defenses.

"Feeling okay?" Jack coaxed as he pretended to be interested in his fingernails.

"Not for weeks," Elizabeth admitted bitterly as she stood up. The alarm announcing an incoming wormhole began just as Walter hurried over the catwalk to her office.

"Incoming wormhole, Ma'am," Walter began efficiently. "The Genii are a minute early."

"Thank you, Sergeant," Elizabeth said. Nodding to the little technician as he returned to his post, she pointed the way towards the conference room.

"You got Walter?" Jack asked as he elbowed her side gently. "Let me guess, one morning he just appeared in your control room, ready to go."

"Yesterday, when the Odyssey arrived," Elizabeth explained with a soft smile. "He told me it was his job, and he wanted to do it."

"He's the best DHD-jockey we have," Jack complimented as he followed her down the stairs towards the Genii delegation.

Grinning as Jack looked abandoned; "I'm going to go supervise the repairs on my ship," Sam said.

"Ever feel like no one wants to be with you?" Jack whispered conspiratorially to Elizabeth as the marines escorting the Genii lead them into the conference room.

"You get that too?" Elizabeth whispered back.
~*~*~*~*~

---

"I heard you needed something translated?" Doctor Jackson asked as he peered around the corner into Doctor Beckett's office.

"Aye, Daniel, come on in," Carson replied, waving him in. "I'm up to my ears in Ancient and I don't speak a word of it."

"What are you working on?" Daniel began as he pulled up a gray metal folding chair. Carson lifted his laptop from his legs and handed it over to the other man. "'The distribution of LK476 in the general population is controlled chromosome 23 and currently manifests as a recessive trait in forty-three percent of males and eight percent of females,'" he read from the laptop. "You need me to translate Ancient notes on genetic experimentation?"

Nodding quickly as he made his own notes on a second computer, Carson pointed to the next paragraph. "I think my patient was exposed to this experiment, or worse, she's become part of it," he explained as he waited for Daniel.

"'LK476 will become absent from the female population entirely as it becomes less likely to be expressed,'" Daniel continued to read. "'Early tests suggest is might be possible to reintroduce LK476 into the female phenotype through chromosomal manipulation and a carrier virus.'"

Snatching the laptop back as his face lit with excitement, Carson scrolled down through several years of notes as he tried to explain. "LK476 is what the Ancients dubbed what we call the ATA or the Ancient gene," he said as his fingers fly over the other keyboard. "In our current genetic structure it is incredibly rare; only thirteen original members of the expedition had it. Now that our population is considerably larger, I've been running tests on the nine hundred people on Atlantis now and only came up with forty-seven positives."

"Including Jack?" Daniel ventured.

"Aye, General O'Neill and Colonel Sheppard show the strongest expression," Carson began, pausing and turning away from his computer. "Some genes are expressed multiple times. I have what we call ATA, but based on these notes and my own blood, I only have two instances. Which is enough to turn things on or fly a jumper around, but not to have the same level of control either of them have. The retrovirus I invented to give someone the Ancient gene turns on between one and three instances."

"Jack has three?" Daniel asked as he took the laptop back and started translating the next section.

"O'Neill and Sheppard both have five," Carson looked over his blood samples data again and shook his head. "It would have taken me years, even decades, to figure out how to track the ATA on my own, but it seems completely routine to her."

Daniel looked up, amused by the tone of longing in the other man's voice. "Her?"

"Mauve," Carson explained shyly, leaning over Daniel's shoulder as he drew his attention to the personnel file open in the database behind the notes. "She was an Ancient geneticist thousands of years ago. Her eyes seem so intense."

Daniel kept his smile pointed at the laptop. "Scientists can be so passionate," he agreed as he went back to the notes. "These are a lot more technical. I'm not entirely sure I would understand this paragraph if you gave it to me in plain English. But the gist of it seems to be that her experiments were largely unsuccessful. In her projections, ATA becomes more and more rare."

"Which is unfortunately what happened to us," Carson sighed and took the laptop back. "Her notes get rather jumbled after this point so I don't know if you'll be able to help me."

Curious, Daniel raised his eyebrows and waited for the rest of the explanation.

"She went off the deep end a bit and disappeared," Carson finished with a shrug. "It was right before the end of the war with the Wraith, their record keeping wasn't the greatest."

"Does any of this help you?" Daniel asked as he looked around the infirmary. It was a brighter room than the cave in the SGC. Even with space outside them, Atlantis was full of beautiful windows and a warmer kind of lighting.

"Oh aye, thank you," Carson said gratefully, without looking up from his computer. "Can I call you back if I find something else?"

Daniel patted his shoulder as he stood to leave. "We're having a senior staff meeting after dinner," he paused and yawned into his hand, "Whenever that is."

"I can't help feeling like I'm going to get to sleep after the next apocalypse," Carson muttered darkly.

"We'll just have to hang on until then," Daniel replied as optimistically as he could. "I'll be down in the science lab."

Carson nodded but said nothing coherent as he kept studying. He didn't hear Daniel's footsteps as he left him alone to his work.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Elizabeth rubbed her head and stood slowly, feeling her legs protest at how long she'd kept them in the chair.

"That went well, didn't it?" Jack wondered at her elbow, watching as Laden Radim was escorted back to the gate room along with his aides and a few marines. "Have I mentioned how much more pleasant it is to listen to you talk instead of Woolsey?"

Smiling softly, Elizabeth heard him as if he was far away. "Thank you," she murmured softly, keeping her hands on the table as the room darkened slightly. "It is easier when the other party genuinely wants success." John would be disappointed. Negotiations had dragged on far past six, the face of her watch on the inside of her wrist read eight-thirty.

"Hungry?" Jack asked without expecting much of an answer as he stretched. He'd already invited the Genii to stay for dinner, but Laden was a head of state and quite busy.

Elizabeth nodded slowly, that was probably why her head felt so strange. Leaving the table seemed a bit tenuous at the moment, so she waited for her head to clear as she collected her materials. "John's going to be upset," she admitted to him sheepishly. "He's probably standing in the hallway."

"Pacing even," Jack added; his eyes glistening in amusement. "I'd be pacing. Though, I'd never admit it to Carter."

"Of course not," Elizabeth replied confidentially. She took a deep breath and let go of the table. If her stomach hadn't been so insistent on food, she would have been tempted to skip dinner and go straight to bed. She must have stumbled because Jack's hand immediately caught her elbow.

"Here," he suggested and wrapped her arm firmly around his own. "Give yourself a second or two."

"I'm okay," she insisted, even though his steadiness made the room seem warmer and less far away. "Just..."

"...its okay," Jack promised knowingly. "I've done pregnant before, not personally mind you because I'm lacking the right equipment and me in tears would scare everyone..." he waited a moment for her to smile, "...but I was there. I remember things."

"I'm dizzy," she conceded when he started walking, bringing them immediately to a halt. "It's not bad when I don't move, or try to move slowly and it's definitely better than being nauseated I just wish..."

"...you got to feel normal occasionally?" Jack finished for her sympathetically.

"Yes," she replied with a nod of her head Elizabeth immediately regretted when the room kept moving without her. "It would be nice."

Shrugging slightly, Jack reached for the door crystals. "It gets better second trimester. Sara got kinda perky, suddenly had a lot of energy for...um...things we'd been missing."

She couldn't help giggling. The conference room was fading out around the edges, and the reddish-gray walls were going black in her vision, but Elizabeth couldn't help laughing. "We might need less apocalypse to have enough time for that."

"Nasty business the end of the world, isn't it?" Jack asked softly, letting the question hang in the air as the door opened.

"Yeah," she responded automatically. The wall in front of her seemed very very far away. As if she could walk for years and never reach it. Jack's arm tugged her forward but her legs weren't listening. The foggy feeling in her head exploded into black and a wave of cold.

Jack felt her knees start to give as her weight on his arm doubled. He bent with her, catching most of her as she headed for the floor like a dead thing. "Dammit," he muttered to himself as he heard the footsteps hurry towards him. Laden and his escort had returned for something, he realized as Marines surrounded him.

"What happened?" Laden asked with concern.

"Medical team to conference room," One of the marines began over his radio.

"Oh scratch that," Jack ordered grumpily as he slipped an arm beneath her legs. "I'm not that old. I'll bring her, just tell Doctor Beckett he has incoming."

"Yes, Sir," the marine acknowledged as he amended his transmission. "Doctor Weir has collapsed-"

"-fainted," Jack corrected with a grunt as he dragged himself to his feet. It had been some time since he'd carried dead weight, but he was moderately pleased that her body wasn't too heavy for him. "She fainted, she's okay, just needs to learn the art of saying 'let's finish this tomorrow'."

"I am sorry General," Laden began to apologize as he caught up to Jack. "I had no idea she was ill."

"Oh she's not," Jack promised as he paused to shift her weight. Elizabeth's head rested against his shoulder and her arms hung limp from their sockets. "She'll be fine."

Laden peered at him, reading what was unsaid in his face. The Genii leader went a few meters with him in silence, waiting for the guards to be out of earshot. "I didn't think she was the family type," he assumed as he fell in step. "Now can't be the best time to be pregnant."

"No one said that," Jack said cautiously. He didn't really know how many people knew or how many people were supposed to know.

"I'm an observant man," Laden explained confidently. "Don't worry; we need your knowledge as much as you need our factories. I can't say I'm surprised, Sheppard's been her weakness for nearly as long as I've known her."

"Well let's try to keep this off the record," Jack said. Sweat was starting beneath his black t-shirt, but he was falling into a rhythm. "Shall we?"

Laden smiled, surprising the general with his amusement. "I'll be discreet," he promised as he turned to go. "And I think I'll bring a gift to the next set of talks."

Jack bit his lip and tackled the stairs at the end of the hall. Elizabeth was remained still in his arms, but he could feel the strength of her heart beating in her chest. He supposed they should have seen it coming. She was stubborn, that was why he'd fought so hard for her to keep her position. Good leaders were not always the best at taking care of themselves. In fact, he'd probably be in worse shape than Elizabeth was if he hadn't had Carter next to him for the last ten years at the SGC. Maybe that was why it was so easy to fall in love for both of them. Their lovers were the strength they counted on to keep them standing. How many times had Carter's smile dredged him up from his despair?

Beckett apprehended him as soon as he turned the corner into the infirmary. "What happened?" The doctor demanded. Already hovering over his patient, he led Jack to one of the few unoccupied beds.

"She fainted," Jack groaned as he set her down, feeling the aches in his muscles he wouldn't have had ten years ago. "Too much work, too little sleep."

"Did ye contact Colonel Sheppard?" Carson circled the bed, taking Elizabeth's pulse as he waited for the Ancient scanner to initialize.
~*~*~*~*~

---

John waited. He drummed his fingers on the table and waited as six became seven on the clock on the wall. He finished all of his paperwork, read reports and even got a head start on the next day's work. There was still no Elizabeth, so he waited. At just past seven someone dragged a chair across the floor and sat down beside him.

Sam dropped her tray to the table and started to eat listlessly. As she poked at her salad she looked over at him and caught his morose expression. "She'd be here if she could," she reminded him as she took a bite of bread.

"Negotiations take time," John agreed as he tried to ignore the delicious smell of her stew.

"You should eat," Sam suggested. Pointing at her own plate, she nudged her food with her fork. "It's good tonight."

Shrugging, he glanced over at the endless line of people getting dinner on the other side of the mess hall. "Line's moving all right," he offered without much enthusiasm. "That's usually a good sign. How are the ribs?"

Confusion flashed in her blue eyes before she realized what he was referring too. "They're all right," Sam smiled gently. "Your Doctor Beckett does good work."

"We like him," John said as he kept drumming his fingers on the table. "We'll keep him around."

Sam tossed her other piece of bread across the table without saying anything. John took it and stared at it for a moment before stuffing it into his mouth. He finished it faster than he expected and found himself staring longingly at the rest of her food. "See, pretty good," Sam teased him.

He stared at his watch again anxiously. "You'd think they'd take a break," he muttered with annoyance.

"They'll be here," Sam reminded him optimistically. Her stew was nearly gone and her fork scratched across the plate.

"Okay," John said. Standing up, he slipped into the line for dinner. Caught between a family with two young children and a set of Marines, he shuffled along as he watched Sam glance down at her watch as nervously as he had. Sergeant Ketterman gave him a grin as he passed him a plate. Nabbing an extra piece of bread to replace the one she had given him, he balanced his cup with his plate and returned.

Passing the bread across to her, John sank into his chair. He filled his fork with stew and stuffed it into his mouth. Juice ran warm and spicy down his throat and he smiled around the fork at Sam. His earpiece buzzed inside his ear, startling him as he started on his second bite.

"Sheppard?"

John wiped his mouth of his hand and hurried to answer. "Yes, Sir," he replied with a sigh.

"Don't mean to alarm you," Jack's voice started apologetically, "I need you down in the infirmary, Elizabeth's..."

His fork clattered against the plate before settling on the table and the chair teetered unsteadily at the speed he pushed it back. "I'll be right there," John replied in a rush. Feeling his heart beat in his throat, he broke into a run.

"Head hurt?" Ronon grunted, looking over concerned when Teyla closed her eyes again.

The medic Beckett had sent, Emily Wyatt, a slim woman with gentle brown eyes, shook her head as she looked over at Major Lorne. "Her visual responses a little slow," she began softly. "Like she's had a concussion. I can't tell much more without the city's resources."

Teyla nodded to Ronon as she listened to them talk. "It is all right," she insisted as she leaved back against the wall of the jumper. "Contacting the Wraith has always been difficult."

"I found a closer gate," Lorne said. Pointing at the HUD, he indicated a gate in orbit of a small, desolate planet. "No one's really watching anymore. They're all assembling for the jump to Earth. If I approach on the vertical..." The jumper swung in an arc, diving towards the planet.

Teyla's eyes opened for a moment, watching quietly as the vortex formed outside the jumper. Ronon studied her face, looking for the Wraith that had threatened to overcome her control.

"If the Wraith break through," she started grimly.

"I'll stop you," Ronon interrupted. Leaving his seat, he sat down next to her on the bench. "I'm good at that."

"You are," Teyla agreed. Her hand found his knee and squeezed reassuringly. "I felt Michael while I was in contact with the Wraith. He is still alive."

"He might be killed in the battle of Earth," Ronon said. Even with her eyes closed, Teyla could hear the hope in his voice.

"He was human," she argued, feeling the jumper enter the freezing cold of the wormhole. When it faded, autopilot brought the jumper slowly into the bay. "For a time, he thought and felt as we do."

"It doesn't mean I can't wish all Wraith dead," Ronon explained as he heard the jumper hatch open to the floor of the bay. He hauled her to her feet. Teyla found herself clumsy all of a sudden. The strength in the arm wrapped around her shoulders was enough to carry her all the way to the infirmary. She fought it, finding enough strength in her feet to carry her the rest of the way.

Something tickled her mind, dancing shadows across her vision. Teyla could hear Ronon's, Emily's and Lorne's steps behind her and abruptly, she realized she could feel their heartbeats. Major Lorne brushed past her and she felt the essence of his life. His skin crackled with it, like a cloud of energy.

Her stomach growled.
~*~*~*~*~

---

The general caught his elbow as soon as John circled the corner into the infirmary, pulling him to a halt. "Hey, slow down there!" Jack ordered.

"No, Sir," John disagreed. Biting his lip, he pulled his arm free. "Elizabeth..."

"...is fine," Jack insisted as he studied the panic in the younger man's face. The dried sweat in his hair started to itch. "She got tired and passed out," he steered John into a corner. "But she's doing all right. Don't yell."

Confusion won out through John's concern. "Sir?" he wondered.

"She knows," Jack explained quietly. "She's afraid and she feels badly enough. Nothing you say is going to change her behavior. So be nice."

John's green eyes barely registered the suggestion. His hand rested nervously on his hip. "Can I?"

"Yeah," Jack allowed, moving out of the way. "I'll keep things under control. I think I owe Carter an apology for being late for dinner."

John waited just long enough to be polite. "If that's all, Sir," he begged as he started towards the far end of infirmary.

"Dismissed," Jack said to his retreating back. Scratching his head, he wondered if he'd been so intractable when he was younger. Deciding he'd never been nearly that bull-headed, he waited for Major Lorne's team to emerge from the hallway. Straightening his back, he wondered how much pain he'd be in tomorrow. He'd have to give Elizabeth a hard time.

Footsteps behind him started him, turning around he found Sam with a tray in her hands. "I thought you might have forgotten where the mess hall was," she teased as she set it down on a desk. "Brought something for Colonel Sheppard too, he abandoned his in a hurry."

"He's young," Jack explained as he attacked the cover over the plate. "What is it?"

"Stew?" Sam said, shrugging. "It's good, better than yesterday."

"And you?" he asked and retrieved his fork from edge of the metal tray. "Better than yesterday?"

"Sore," Sam admitted. Pulling over a chair, she sat down next to him as he wolfed down his dinner. "But I'll live. It's healing."

"Uh-huh," Jack paused and reached for the sealed metal thermos on the tray. Sniffing it, he smiled. "You're spoiling me."

"You're what I have left," Sam explained softly, staring at his hands as he ate. She knew some of the lines on his hands and all of the lines on his face. He was the most familiar thing left.

Jack set down the thermos and reached for her hand. Capturing it, he dragged it back to his lap and kept it as he continued to eat. "Did I tell you she agreed?" he muttered around a mouthful of stew.

She passed him a piece of bread from her pocket, unwrapping the paper as she handed it too him. "Good," Sam replied quickly, dazzling him with the ease of her smile. "Doctor Weir didn't try to convince you to stay?"

Licking his fork clean, he left it on the tray. Jack looked her dead on and she saw the twinkle in his eyes. "Well," he paused and leaned forward conspiratorially. "I didn't say she didn't, I just pointed out there was a better man for the job."

Sam retracted the bread, laughing as he started to pout. "I thought you were going to stay out of the matchmaking business," she teased as she threatened to take a bite out of it.

"I said I'd leave Daniel alone," he corrected as he expertly snatched the bread back. "Don't remember anything about anyone else."

Shaking her head as she stood up, Sam appeared to be leaving. Grabbing her sleeve, he pulled her down towards him. In the lonely quiet of his corner of the infirmary, no one saw Jack bring his lips to hers.

Blushing slightly as she pulled away, Sam couldn't help still feeling the pang of worry. She had to remind herself that those regulations were gone, and the wetness of Jack's mouth was no longer forbidden. Her body still tingled as if it were.
~*~*~*~*~

---

She was sitting up on the edge of the bed, feet hanging over the side. Elizabeth stared down at her black boots and marveled at her chief surgeon's ability to make her feel seven years old again. She'd seen his wrath demonstrated on John and the rest of his team, but she hadn't expected to be on the receiving end.

Lecturing as he forced her to look at her vitals, Carson oozed anxious concern. "Would you look at your blood pressure?" he demanded and pointed at the numbers. "It's twenty points too high. Your electrolytes are unbalanced; your immune response is all over the map and you bloody well think you can just keep going. Work sixteen hour days. Skip meals..."

"I'm sorry," she replied softly without looking up from her fingers.

"I don't want you to be sorry, Elizabeth," Carson's tone cut through the infirmary like a blast of cold air. "I want you to be careful," He warmed slightly when she cringed. "You need to be responsible for more than yourself. I'm putting you on a restricted schedule, just for a week or two until you start to feel better. I'm giving a copy to General O'Neill and Colonel Sheppard. If that's not enough, I'll give it to Rodney and make sure everyone in the bloody city knows when you're supposed to go off duty."

"Thank you," Elizabeth finished simply. She looked up long enough to meet his eyes and calm him with a hand on her arm. "I'll be careful, Carson."

"Good," he said, sighing as his anger left him.

John took the moment's pause to silently make his way to her side. Her hand covered his as he rested it on the bed by her hip. "Shorter shifts?" he began without prelude. He wondered if the general was right and she'd already been chastised enough. Her fingers were cold, but firm as they gripped his hand.

"I'm letting you have eight hours," Carson explained as he stared at the display. "I want you to take an hour off for lunch, try and have an eight hour day. I know there's no stopping you from working when you get back to your quarters..."

Elizabeth's exhausted green eyes meet John's, desperate for something other than disapproval. He managed to smile; trying to imagine her cutting her days back to eight hours was like trying to imagine Rodney sucking a lemon. He wasn't sure Elizabeth had ever only worked eight hours in her life.

"Try to take it easy at night," Carson coaxed gently. "Work in bed if you have to, but..."

"...take it easy," John finished for the doctor. "Got it. Can you," he paused, feeling foolish as he asked for it. "Just give us a moment?"

"I have an analysis of Elizabeth's blood work to run," Carson explained. Relieved that John shared his concern, he wondered if his patient would respond better to him. "But it could take some time. Your vitals still aren't what I'd like, but they're better." He patted her shoulder. "Go home. I'll find you tomorrow and tell ye what I've found."

Playfully trying to keep from being more bitter than was necessary, she managed a feeble attempt at a smile. "Thank you, Carson."

"Take care of yourself now," he ordered again. John shared a serious glance and the doctor wondered if he was getting away while he could.

John found it was difficult to smile back. A moment ago his heart had been pounding in his throat at the mere idea of her being in trouble. Now he needed it to be quiet long enough for him to be reasonable for her. Suddenly, he couldn't help wishing Teyla would walk in that door and finish his thoughts for him. "Hey," he said finally.

"I'm okay," she reassured him before he even had to ask. "I'm still a little dizzy, but it's a lot better since I got here. I just feel so stupid because I..."

"...passed out?" John interrupted. He pulled himself up on the bed next to her. "Or is your ego intact enough for fainted?"

"Both are pretty bad, aren't they?" she wondered. Rolling her head on her shoulders took some of the tension out of her neck. "I'm sorry if I...if you were doing something important."

"Dinner," John explained simply. "I waited, then Carter said we should just give up." His eyes wandered over the display of her vitals, and the more confusing blood work on the display next to it. "Figured she'd had more experience than I have."

"Did you eat?" she wondered apologetically. She hadn't thought he'd wait that long and chided herself for keeping him from his meal. "I thought you'd..."

"I'll find something," John promised and waved off her apology. "You're really okay?"

"Yeah," Elizabeth lied and then laughed at his smile. Scratching a hand through her dark curls, she met his eyes and conceded. "I'll live."
~*~*~*~*~

---

Walking to the transporter with him a few minutes later, she let the doors close out the city. Staying in the corridor would have only invited more people to talk to her and she'd had enough of housing complaints, clothing shortages and the growing unrest surrounding the cafeteria schedules. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall.

"I want you in bed," he ordered seriously when the transporter stopped near their quarters.

She giggled as he led her out of the transporter. Repeating it barely audibly to herself, she made him wince as he realized how it sounded. "I'm probably not up to that," Elizabeth teased dryly; enjoying the flush running over his face.

John shrugged and waved his free hand in front of the blue crystals for their door. "We have a sign," he pointed out before the door slid away. "Ronon decided it really just needed your name..."

She wouldn't have noticed it without his prompting. As it was, she barely caught the black block letters spelling her last name before the door slid away. "It's nice," Elizabeth replied softly. Her giggling faded and the idea of bed didn't seem that terrible anymore. Sitting on the edge as she ripped off her boots, she watched him turn on the computer that had been sitting on the windowsill.

"Work?" she asked, slightly surprised.

"I work," he replied in mock indignation.

"I didn't mean..."

"Somehow you being pregnant doesn't make my days any shorter," John complained mildly as he settled down on the floor next to the bed. "I thought if I didn't have to report to the IOA I'd have less paperwork...this is not the case."

His grumbling made her smile. "What are you working on?" she wondered as he lifted up the computer for her to see.

"Teyla and Lorne asked me to look over the data they collected about what our refugees used to do," he explained. John pulled himself up to the bed and pointed out the file he had open. "Some of them might make good team members. Susanna Foster was a police officer on Earth, which means weapons training, teamwork..."

"Police work is good preparation for traveling off-world and fighting the Wraith?" she asked, puzzled by his logic. She toyed with her hair, running her fingers through lazy curls.

Distracted watching her hair; it took John some time before he realized there had been a question. He brushed his thumb sheepishly across his lips. "More than being a librarian or an accountant," he reminded her. "I've spent hours looking over career histories. A few have training or military experience, but they're rare. There are nearly one hundred fifty children and a hundred more senior citizens."

Slipping her hand up to her temples, she rubbed them slowly. "In tribes of nomads the old teach the young," Elizabeth remarked. Letting her eyes wander their quarters she wondered how much their society would have to adjust. How long of a childhood would their children get now? What age was too young to ask them to become soldiers?

"Maybe you passed out because you worry too much," John suggested playfully. Hoping he could draw her out of her thoughts, he returned the computer back to the windowsill and reached for her shoulders. "We'll make it."

"We'll make it," she repeated softly. "That's the John Sheppard plan of action?"

Surprising her with his breath on the back of her neck, he slid over the bed and sat directly behind her. "Yeah," he agreed. "Well, more like the John Sheppard projected outcome."

"The Genii will be able to take up a lot of our manufacturing needs," Elizabeth said after a pause. Changing the subject back to one she didn't have to feel so helpless, she let herself lean back against him. "Ladon's scientists were almost drooling at the idea of getting their hands on some of our technology."

"You're advancing them what..." he paused and tried to place the level he'd seen on their home world, "...forty years or more? Beginning of the cold war to what we know about the Ancients." He tried to resist the urge to play with her hair.

"We need allies," Elizabeth responded with bitter desperation. "We can't make it on our own, even in this city with all this technology..." she trailed off, turning towards his shoulder. "Nine hundred people isn't enough. We'll need the Genii, the Athosians and anyone else we can sway to our side. We don't even have a planet anymore."

His hands were strong on the taunt muscles on the back of her neck as he worked the tension from them. "Pick a planet," he suggested softly. "There's a lot of them out there. New Athos is all right."

"Is it better than where we started?" she asked. Closing her eyes let them rest for a precious moment. "Maybe we should just land again and barricade the fort. Maybe they won't come..."

"...maybe," he couldn't sound like he believed her. "Mitchell and Doctor Jackson brought us that weapons platform from the Asgard. We should get our fleet ready to go and take them out, every last nanite."

"John-"

"Us or them," he laid out simply. "They wiped us out, but the majority of their fleet is still in orbit of the smoking crater that was once our planet. If we take out their shipyards we remove their ability to increase their numbers..."

"...for now," Elizabeth injected. Shaking her head slowly, she met his eyes. "They found a way before."

"They might have more ships," John argued optimistically. "The Artemis is decades ahead of anything we can come up with. We don't exactly have a shipyard anymore; we should steal what we can so that when they or the Wraith or someone else comes for us, we can kill them."

"Us against the universe?" she wondered darkly, struggling to match his optimism and failing completely.

"Yeah," John agreed too quickly. The darkness deepened in her eyes and he immediately felt the stab of guilt in his stomach. "Not that extreme...I mean..." pausing helplessly, he stared her down, "...we'll make it."

They sat in silence while he tried to come up with a better way to convince her. John's mind failed him and he wondered if he was as exhausted as she was. Dealing with the Wraith as a constant threat had been one thing, this was entirely different. He felt like he was stuck being camp leader, part of the UN and military genius all at the same time. He still couldn't imagine how much work it was to be her. He stopped fidgeting with the sheet on the bed and whipped his head up to look at her when she spoke.

"Jack turned me down," she admitted heavily. The weight of the city felt like lead in her chest as she sighed. "He wants to go with Colonel Carter on the Artemis."

"Can't blame him," John replied lightly. He let go of her shoulders and returned to his computer. "I can't imagine being in love that long and not being about to do anything about it."

She closed her eyes, but she couldn't find the words to ask him. It wasn't her place. If she asked him to leave his team she wouldn't be asking him as the leader of Atlantis. Lying down on the bed beside him, Elizabeth knew in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't ask. The ceiling hung lazily over her head, twinkling in the light of the stars outside the window.

He got through three pages of work before he realized she was asleep.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Carson scraped his cup across the desk towards him and kept reading. The rich aroma of coffee pervaded the cafeteria as the night shift cook brought out another pot and set it next to them.

Beside him, Daniel dug into his piece of cake and peered over his shoulder. "She's completely obsessed," Daniel pointed out as he licked his fork clean. "Her personal logs are blending with her work notes."

"Aye," Carson agreed. Daniel's nudge on his shoulder reminded him that he had his own cake. Private Samara usually kept a stash of treats for anyone who had to be up all night working. After the first hour, she'd left the cake pan on their table and wished them luck. "But I..." he paused, yawning into his cup before he took a sip.

"You understand," Daniel finished for him. "I can't say I haven't done that on occasion."

"You can't hack into Ancient computers and expect them to do whatever you want," Radek Zelenka's voice carried angrily down the hallway into the cafeteria.

Making a beeline for the coffee, Rodney kept shaking his head. "I'm not hacking..." He trailed off, smelling the cake. "...cake!" Taking the coffee pot and cup with him as he turned, he pulled up a chair and snatched the pan.

"You're hacking," Radek argued and flopped into a chair next to him. "You're attacking a delicate system with a battleaxe and expecting it to respond to your commands."

Carson barely looked up from his notes, but rolled his eyes at his colleagues over the computer screen. Daniel gave them more respect.

"You're doing something with the computer?" he fished politely, taking the cake back from Rodney and offering it to the Czech scientist.

"Thank you," Radek replied with a smile before turning his glower back to Rodney. "He got into some kind of intuitive control system. Something only the Ancients were able to access before the Replicators took over, now he's playing God..."

"...I'm trying to make the city a better place for everyone!" Rodney exclaimed. Licking chocolate frosting from his fingers, he set down his cake long enough to gesticulate his way through his point. "We need food, clothing, weapons and medical supplies...now..." he glared back at Radek, "...the city must have been able to provide these things with a minimal investment of raw materials. It survived a siege that lasted a century..."

"We were just starting to get somewhere and bam! We ran into firewall," Radek explained as he mimed slamming his hands into a wall. "Rodney thinks he can hack his way in..."

"I doubt any Ancient system would be that-" Carson began sarcastically.

"Simple?" Daniel offered.

"-easy..." Carson finished as he stared over his coffee at Rodney. "You'll never get in that way. It's probably like the chair; John had to get through the firewall mentally."

"It's not that easy," Rodney argued as he drank the last of his coffee and poured another cup. "I tried. Radek and I found the right terminal, we both tried it, it won't accept us."

For a moment, he heard a voice whisper in his ear, as light as the whisper of a ghost on the wind. Daniel jumped slightly, feeling the cold fingers on his spine. The voice had a suggestion. She knew something. Curious, he asked what she bid him. "Do you think the city is still tied to Helia?" He asked as he ran the thought over in his head. "It would make sense," he realized on his own. "Ten thousand years ago Atlantis was run by a council of three: a military commander, a governor, and a steward. The steward was the voice of the people."

The rest of the faces at the table looked at him in confusion but Daniel kept going. "She would have reinstated that kind of government. The other two are dead...but the city must be waiting for her mind to release control to the next government."

"John got through the firewall," Rodney reminded him. "He turned most of the systems we just got into on in the first place."

"John's a pilot," Radek muttered over his plate of sweet-smelling cake. "He's certainly not a council member. He was just trying to get the city to fly-"

"We need Helia," Rodney suddenly agreed with Daniel. "It makes sense, if she releases the city, Elizabeth..."

"Helia's in a coma," Carson reminded everyone over his computer. "i don't see what you're going to be able to do. I can't even say for sure she'll ever come out of it. I've never seen that kind of neurological damage."

"You have to come up with something!" Rodney insisted as he stared across at the doctor. "There are parts of the computer system that may never come online if we can't get through the last firewall."

"I can't make people snap out of comas with my fingers," Carson snapped more harshly than he intended. After a moment he retracted his tone. "Right now I need to figure out this virus, I promise Helia's being well cared for."

"We know," Radek said for both of them. "We will find a way, won't we Rodney?"

Realizing what he was taking Carson away from, Rodney relented. "We'll find it," he added. "Any progress on the virus?"

"As far as we can tell ATA or LK476 as Mauve calls it, is a double-recessive sex-linked trait," Carson explained patiently. "It's a lot like being colorblind, if you get any other genes except the right ones, you can see color."

"It has levels," Daniel piped up as Rodney refilled his coffee. "Some people have more instances than others."

"What I am?" Rodney wondered as he looked back to Carson.

"It's not that simple..." Carson began to protest before giving up. "In the crudest sense, you're a three," he answered with a slight smile. "I'm a two. Major Lorne and his father are also threes like you."

"Colonel Sheppard?" Radek asked as he demolished the last of his cake and started a second piece.

"General O'Neill and John have the highest 'level'," he answered as he stretched his hands. "The two of them and Captain Helia all have five."

"And Elizabeth?" Rodney pried a little deeper. "How did her blood turn out?"

"That's what we've been trying to figure out," Carson finished with a heavy sigh. "Not all walls are in computers."
~*~*~*~*~

---

"Busy?" Sam started gently. He was sitting alone on the balcony outside of command. She'd needed the life-signs detector just to find him.

John tilted up his head, startled at her presence. "No," he admitted cautiously. He'd come outside to think when his paperwork was done and his place in bed next to Elizabeth hadn't yielded any rest.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful," Sam offered as she sank down on the floor next to him. She still moved slowly, but her broken ribs were only a nagging twinge now when she moved. "All those stars and nothing between us at all. It seems like I could throw something and hit one." Smiling slightly as she leaned over to him, she leaned back. "Except for the immensely complicated force field."

"There's that," John agreed.

"I was always in such a hurry to get to the stars," Sam began thoughtfully. "I'd look up at them when I was a kid and wish I was there...far far away from my backyard..." her voice broke slightly and John felt the fresh pain in her tone. "I still can't believe I'll never see those stars again."

"There was a place in Antarctica," he offered in returned, keeping his eyes away from the tears he knew had to be on her face. "Where if you sat on the ice at night, you felt like you were the only person in the universe it was so quiet." Sighing, John dragged a hand through his hair. "Sometimes I miss that. I never thought I'd get used to the stars here," John offered as gently as he could. Smiling slightly, he touched her foot with his. "They just looked weird at first."

"Like the sky was scrambled?" She teased, forcing herself to smile.

"Gets better," John promised as optimistically as he could. The pause that followed was comfortable. The kind of silence he liked.

"I need General O'Neill-" Sam bit her lip and corrected herself, "-Jack on my ship. I've been trying to...get over...find a way..." finally she stopped trying to speak and shook her head. "He's all I have left."

"It's not..." he felt his tongue trip him, "...I don't...my dad and I aren't close."

"I thought mine hated me after my mom died," Sam admitted as she dropped her hand to his shoulder. "Doesn't mean I don't want to be a parent someday."

"Someday turns into today faster than you think," John pointed out without moving her hand. "Faster than I thought anyway."

"But you love her," Sam said for him. "I saw that."

"I've never really been subtle," he replied as he studied the smooth floor of the balcony. Looking back up at the stars, he sighed again. "I want it to be right. No one asks to be born after the apocalypse."

"You said the stars took some getting used to," Sam reminded him as she turned to meet his eyes. "Now they look like home, don't they?"

"Yeah," John admitted after enjoying the silence. "It is home, now." Pointing at the trail a piece of space dust left on the forcefield, he grinned at her playfully. "Want me to bring a shotgun to the wedding? Just in case?"

Sam started to giggle, making his smile brighten. "Teal'c still has his ZAT."
~*~*~*~*~

---

She'd been dreaming, like she had when the Wraith had been in the city. Teyla ran through darkened corridors, feeling her breath hiss in her chest. She hungered. There were creatures all around her, things she could feed upon, but she dared not give herself away. They'd find her; these things of flesh and energy.

She ducked around a corner, narrowly missing the sight of one of the numerous patrols. How long had they been looking for her? How long before she ran out of places to hide? There was glass around the corner. One of the windows lent life to her pale reflection. Teyla stopped dead, admiring herself the way a lion might pause before a pool of water. In the glass between her and space she was tall, strong and pale. She was a predator, strong and without mercy. Her cold eyes oozed black in the pits between the bones of her face.

She knew that face. She had seen the cold sneer on his lip when he turned to her like a piece of meat.

Hands banged against her door, summoning her from the dream. Teyla tried to wake up, but she had no power. Her body moved on it's own. As she walked past the mirror for a moment she thought she was still dreaming. Michael's face stared at her from the from the wall of her bathroom. When she opened the door, he spoke.

"I am sorry," he said in her voice. "I was asleep."

"Rodney and some doctor want you," Ronon grunted with a yawn of his own. "Been trying to get you on the radio."

Teyla tried to say something or do anything to fight the darkness inside of her. Michael's presence filled her like oil, slithering into all of her muscles. He grabbed her jacket from the hook on the wall.

"We shouldn't keep them waiting," Michael purred and slipped past Ronon into the hallway.

Ronon might have noticed the slight change in her speech if it had been later. Four hundred hours in Earth time was something everyone tried to avoid. He fell in step beside her, carrying on a conversation with Michael she couldn't bear to listen too.

Focusing her mind in a Herculean feat of strength, Teyla managed to take back her left foot just long enough to make her trip up the stairs in the hall.

Ronon's hand caught her before she fell more than a fraction of a meter. "Clumsy..." he teased with a toothy grin.

Michael smiled and licked her tongue across her lips. "I was making sure you were paying attention," he replied. Cringing as she shared his hunger, Teyla watched her friend's eyes soften with amusement.

The stranger next to Rodney must have been the doctor Ronon had mentioned. He wore a simple white coat over his Earth clothes and had unruly dark hair that fell just above his shoulders. He looked as exhausted and unkempt as Rodney. Neither man had shaved in over a day and stubble was dark on their faces.

"Teyla," Rodney called and waved her over. "Good, we need you." He motioned towards a bed.

The doctor was more polite. "I'm Simon, Doctor Wallace," he introduced himself and extended his hand. Pulling it back apologetically when Michael didn't take it, he smiled nervously. "Sorry, old habits..."

Instead of shaking his hand, Teyla felt her lips being forced into a smile. "It is of no consequence," Michael offered politely. "How may I help you Doctor Wallace?"

"Simon would be fine," he replied, running a nervous hand through slightly greasy hair. "We need your abilities. Captain Helia is dying, her EKG's fallen several points in the last few hours. Doctor McKay-"

"-There are things in her mind we need," Rodney interrupted anxiously. "Codes and secrets we may never be able to get our hands on again. I know it's a long shot, but you're the closest thing we have to a mind reader..."

"I have connected to the Wraith," Teyla heard her voice say. Michael's desire burned in her stomach. His hunger boiled up like a poisonous thing inside of her. "I have never attempted a human and certainly not an Ancestor."

"I think I can help you," Rodney explained with proud excitement. His eyes shone as he crossed to a table holding an Ancient device. "We found this in the medical storage bay. It seems to be some kind of..."

"...amplifier," Simon interjected before Rodney was able to jump into the technical details. "We believe it amplifies the natural abilities of a human mind. There's a slight danger."

"Yes, yes," Rodney started impatiently as he lifted the simple metal circlet. It was the same green as some of the walls of city and fairly harmless looking in his hands. "It's an untested piece of Ancient equipment, that's why you're here. You're a doctor."

"Helia doesn't have much time," Simon explained with a heaviness in his voice. He didn't understand everything. Just that the petite blonde woman on the bed by his left hand had been tortured in ways so horrible they had left her comatose and failing.

Michael's hunger surged within her like a living thing and for a moment Teyla lost herself in it. She wanted what he did. She needed to feed. "I will do what I can," she listened to herself agree.

"Great!" Rodney said as he turned his back. Calling up something complex on the computer terminal, his mind was already working when he looked at her again. "It should be simple, a numerical sequence, some kind of password..." his eyes flashed with hope. "Anything could be a clue."

Teyla heard leather rustle as Ronon took up his place at her side. Through everything the warmth of his hand on her shoulder was the one thing she knew Michael couldn't corrupt. It was Michael who lay her body down on the bed next to Helia and him who smiled up at Simon to reassure him. "I will be all right," he promised with her lips. "I survived contact with the Wraith, how much danger can there be in a single woman?"

Teyla felt the malice no one else could. The hunger blazed into a fire stronger than anything she had felt. It ran through her veins like acid, demanding what little life was left in the body across from her. She didn't know what was happening when Michael let them slip the circlet on her head.

It only took a moment for him to accomplish what had taken her hours of meditation. Helia's mind allowed him in as easily as if she had opened a door. In an instant, she felt like she was dreaming again. Helia stood before her. A pale figure in a circle of blackness that stared at her with exhausted eyes.

"What do you want?" Helia asked softly, her words sounding hollow in the void.

"We need the code for the city," Teyla said on her own. Somehow she was separate. In the transfer to Helia's mind she had become free of Michael and the sound of her voice now startled her.

Michael leapt from behind her, flying forward and knocking Helia to the black ground. The other woman didn't even jump. "Give it to us," Michael growled as he ran one fingernail down Helia's pale cheek.

The Ancient captain stared up at Teyla with an emptiness that froze the hunger she'd felt a moment ago. Teyla had seen that emptiness before in those who had watched worlds fall to the Wraith. Helia had no fight left.

Teyla tried to move. She could fight; she could give Michael everything she had and make him work for the life force he wanted. Her feet were rooted into the blackness. Her hands were locked to her sides as if they had been carved from stone. Her voice, it seemed, was all she had. "Don't Michael..." she pleaded.

Michael only looked up for a moment before he took the kill. He slammed his hand down on Helia's chest and fed. His victim only sighed before succumbing. Her hair faded to gray as her skin shriveled away. Helia's eyes went deader before going out but the only sound she made was a wistful sigh.

As the horrible scene finished before her, Michael stood. He lifted his hand and licked red blood from his flesh with a pale tongue. "Too easy..."

Teyla woke in the same nightmare. Michael's presence filled her like a disease, pervading every fiber of her being. He sat them up and made her watch as Simon pulled the blanket over Helia's sightless eyes. "Her command code..." he began to explain as Rodney typed it quickly into the computer. The swirling display of color flashed to pure white before growing still.

Rodney laughed; his excitement couldn't be contained by death. "That's it!" His eyes softened as he looked from Ronon to Simon. "We're in!" he explained quickly. "The computer is waiting for the council of three to input their command codes."

"The council?" Ronon asked. He crossed his arms over his chest and kept his eyes on her.

"Atlantis was ruled by a council of three before they left for Earth," Rodney explained as he tried something else in the computer. "The computer seems to be set up for input. Whatever Helia's code did, it reset everything. We should get Elizabeth down here..."

"It's early," Ronon interrupted. "She can play with your computer after breakfast."

"But..."

"You should let her sleep," Simon agreed with a slow nod of his head. "She could use some rest."

Rodney took a moment before nodding. "I guess it's not going anywhere," he conceded with one more longing look at the computer. "It's just...this is the last thing..." his hands pleaded along with his eyes, "...the last thing left locked, I mean if we get this, we'll have everything. Every system."

"You'll have it tomorrow," Carson interrupted authoritatively from the doorway. "It's oh-four-hundred. We all need sleep. Go on now, the lot of ye."

Ronon caught her shoulder and started to lead her back to her quarters. Teyla felt Michael envy the strength pulsing through Ronon's body. She felt the hunger rise again.

'I can't get him," Michael whispered to her. "Not yet."

Alone in the darkness of her mind, Teyla shuddered and tried to keep what was left of her separate from the growing cold of Michael's mind.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Back in the infirmary, Carson sank into a chair in front of his desk and listened to the footsteps leave him alone. Rodney had protested against leaving, but eventually even the determination keeping him awake lost to exhaustion. The scientist was curled on a spare bed, sleeping soundly. Only Simon remained, standing quietly over his shoulder.

"The amount of virus in her blood shouldn't be able to jump and fall like that," Simon said aloud what was troubling Carson. "It's not a natural profile, even with immune response."

"She doesn't have an immune response," Carson reminded his colleague as he drummed his fingers impatiently on the desk. "It's almost like there's an outside force...something that causes the severe spikes in the viral count."

Simon shrugged behind him and pulled a crate from the Odyssey over next to Carson. "Is there something in the city that keeps track of everything? Some kind of really advanced monitoring system?"

"Sensors," Carson replied quickly, wondering if it was that simple. "In a laboratory setting the virus responded to one of the upper wavelengths of infrared radiation...it's entirely possible..." he drifted off as he tried to remember how to check the internal sensors.

Giving up, he left his chair and grabbed Rodney's shoulder. "How do I check the radiation profile of the last few days?"

Rodney barely opened an eye and groaned. "Internal sensors, second column, third option," he explained without even sounding awake. "Select it twice and chose the weekly readout."

Simon nodded quickly from the keyboard. "He's right; I think I've got it."

Carson took over, checking the graph of the radiation against the viral profile that had been giving him so much trouble for the last few hours.

"Looks like a match," Simon announced with relief. He had no idea what kind of bizarre alien virus came and went with a radiation profile. He had even less of an idea how it would be generated by a growing fetus.

Carson seemed less confused. In fact, the other doctor had the faraway look Simon had come to count on. He let Carson think as he wondered if Elizabeth had known the mess that would come from carrying John Sheppard's child. How different would things have been if he had come when she asked? He was fairly certain no child of his would be filling her blood with an unknown virus.

"Sheppard said she has episodes that come and go," Carson started to think aloud. "He was rather vague, but it would seem to fit with the random increases in the amount of virus in her body." He paused and scratched the itch exhaustion had left on the back of his neck. "If we keep an eye on the radiation..."

"...we can watch her blood." Simon finished. He felt the air escape his chest in another sigh of relief. Maybe now they could finally help Elizabeth instead of just hoping and wishing she felt better.

"Maybe it is that simple," Carson hoped as he stared into the screen of his computer. "Something in the radiation is increasing the rate of mutation. Demanding her body adapt the new genes faster than her tissues can handle. At a normal rate it would take nearly two years to manipulate all of her DNA, but with his spikes..."

"...twenty eight more weeks," Simon concluded for him. "That's the time left before she delivers. If you run a projection, I'll bet you the last of the coffee it'll be twenty eight weeks before the virus runs its course."

Carson yawned and rubbed his eyes. "I think I'll be letting ye have the coffee," he promised and grinned sheepishly. "The computer agrees with you."

"So when she delivers?"

"She'll be infused with ATA," Carson sighed with an admiring shake of his head. "Most likely the same five instances as Sheppard."

"What does that mean?" Simon wondered, hoping his thoughts weren't entirely rhetorical. "Why encode that in a virus? How did someone even get it into her body in the first place?"

"If we knew that I could go to sleep..." Carson admitted with another yawn. "Come on, let's try and get a bit of a nap before we have to deal with the next crisis."

Simon dragged himself to his feet and followed the other man out of the infirmary. curling up on a bed like Rodney seemed more tempting than the walk back to his quarters, but Carson was good company. At least in his own quarters he could shower. That way the next crisis could at least find him with clean hair.

"You'll get used to it," Carson promised as he stopped in front of Simon's quarters. "The hours are terrible, there's no overtime, and it's rare that anyone notices what we do here."

"But we save lives," Simon replied. Wondering if the bed in his quarters could ever feel better than it was about too.

"Aye, that we do."

"Rodney...just tell me what I have to do," Elizabeth said, biting her tongue before she snapped. Rodney's long-winded explanation of the city's computer system was only aggravating her already thin nerves. The lights in the ceiling of the computer room only vaguely worked, the flickering only added to the cave like feeling of the room.

"Oh, ah, put your hands here and think of an access code. Sixteen digit, alphanumeric..." he explained quickly as he gestured at the panel. "Have you decided who the third council member will be?"

"The computer will accept three," Zelenka injected calmly from over Rodney's shoulder. "The Ancients seemed to like three. Three ZPMs, three leaders."

"Retired Colonel Lorne's leading a vote," Jack explained as he waited his turn behind Elizabeth. "Rustling up the civilians and trying to get them organized."

"They aren't cattle," Elizabeth corrected as she pursed her lips with annoyance and tried to stop her headache from growing.

Nodding his head contritely, Jack apologized with his eyes. "Course not, I was making more fun of the good Major's mother than our civilians, I promise."

"Jack and I are getting set up today, when the vote is over we'll make sure the civilian representative gets into the computer," Elizabeth promised her scientists as she thought of an access code and lowered her hands to the computer terminal. The panel immediately lit up and grew warm to the touch. A moment later it was over. Helia had stubbornly clung to life through days of torture just to make sure she could stand there for five seconds of light. Elizabeth wondered if she would do the same as she watched the light run over Jack's body.

Grinning, he turned to her when he was done. "On to the next meeting?" he asked as he waved her through the doorway out of the room Rodney was calling the 'computer core'.

"Don't you have to attend that one?" Zelenka teased Rodney as the other man tried to avoid looking up from his work.

"Yes," Rodney complained with a sigh. "I have to go watch the military figure out their chain of command. Which is somehow a better use of my time than figuring out the computer system."

"I thought they were discussing all chains of command..." Zelenka let the thought dangle for a moment before Rodney got it.

"Oh," he said without looking up. "Oh...wait." Rodney suddenly got it. "Dammit." Picking up his tablet computer he fled the room after Jack and Elizabeth.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Rodney was the last one to jog into his chair around the large table in the conference room. Carson and Daniel sat on one end. Teal'c sat next to Daniel and Colonels Caldwell, Emerson, Mitchell and Carter sat in a line on their left. Then Jack and Elizabeth in the center, John at her right hand, Teyla, Ronon, and finally Rodney himself.

Elizabeth gave him a look, but there was a trace of a smile in her lips. Being out of the cave of the computer room made her headache improve slightly. "Now that we're all here, let's make this short," she promised the table. "As the leaders of the expedition and the military, General O'Neill and I have come up with the following chain of command..."

"All right campers," Jack started as he looked around. "I had to find some way to differentiate between all my Colonels. Teal'c, you're my first in line. Mitchell, you'll be second. Caldwell has the Daedalus, Emerson the Odyssey and Carter the Artemis. Sheppard will be assuming command of Atlantis itself. If anything happens to me that's the order I want you to follow," he looked over their faces before turning back to Elizabeth. "All yours."

"Thank you," She responded and folded her hands on the smooth gray table. "It's never easy to do this but we can all agree on its importance. My line of succession will be Teyla, Dr Jackson, Dr McKay, Ronon and Dr Beckett. Both are noted in the computer and will be known to the members of the expedition and the military. Colonel Sheppard has the list of the new off-world teams."

"We'll be running five teams at the moment while we train up our civilian recruits," John started to explain. Elizabeth wasn't looking at him and he was fairly certain he knew why. "Teyla will be leading team one, Major Lorne has team two, Teal'c has graciously volunteered to take team three, Colonel Mitchell has team four and our newly promoted Captain Cadman will be taking team five," he turned back to Elizabeth, watching as her mouth struggled to find the words she wanted.

Jack saved her. "That'll be all, see me at the next meeting, won't you?" he offered jovially, at least as relieved as anyone to be free.

Everyone shuffled out, Rodney started to tease Carson that he was higher on the list.

"I could kill you," Ronon remarked over Rodney's shoulder, "then I'll move up."

A flash of terror lit Rodney's face for a moment before he started to laugh. "Anyone up for lunch?"

John waited for her in the corner, just out of her sight. She thought she'd have to wait for that night to talk to him, but instead she found his hands on her shoulders.

"You looked surprised," he started lightly. John was still relieved she'd managed to smile. After yesterday, he couldn't help feeling that he was failing because he couldn't keep her safe from herself.

"You didn't want," Elizabeth started weakly, wondering if he'd ever cease to surprise her. "Being the commander of the city is dull. You'll never get to go anywhere. You'll be like..."

"...You," John finished for her with a wry smile. "My parents weren't around," he explained as he watched his fingers play with the table. "I'm going to be."

Elizabeth nodded, feeling her head float somewhere over her shoulders. Despite Carson's promises that her dizziness would improve with rest, nothing seemed to be helping this morning. "John," she started as she reached for his hand.

He shut her up and squeezed it. "It's okay," he smirked playfully. "I get it. The city's just going to have to get used to having a little sister or brother I guess..." he drifted off and watched her wrap her arms around her computer. "Which do you think?"

"I'm sorry?" Elizabeth asked helplessly as she started back across to her office. "I don't follow?"

"This baby we're having..." John teased as he stole her computer from her hands and snuck through the control center at her heels. "I've heard they come in two different kinds..."

Still shaking her head, Elizabeth fled across the catwalk into her glass walled office before she looked at him. "Does it really matter?"

John shrugged and flopped down on a corner of her desk. "Not to me," he offered gamely as he returned her computer to her waiting hands. "You?"

"Do we have to talk about this now?" she tried to dodge the question. Turning her computer on, Elizabeth pulled her curls up on her head and clipped them in place. "Don't you have..."

"It's lunch," John reminded her as he tapped his watch. "One hour off, starting now."

Sighing heavily, she flipped her wrist to check her own watch. Where had the time gone? "Can't we...?"

Shaking his head, John met her gaze seriously. "No," he insisted emphatically. "Not after yesterday. Lunch, now, before I get Jack to go over your head," he folded his arms across his chest and waited.

Giving in, she left her computer on the desk and started to leave her office.

"Now, it doesn't matter to me," John continued the conversation from the point he'd been at previously, "if the numbers are right..."

"...numbers?" Elizabeth asked as she stopped him on the steps down. "What numbers?"

"Two, two, ten, ten..." John answered cryptically as he waved down the hallway at Sam and Daniel, "the things that count."

"Did you find something?" he called to them as they got closer. "Teyla thought the traders at Valthier..."

"We're good," Daniel promised with a beaming smile. "It's perfect, really perfect."

John smirked at Sam, who was rather quiet and already faintly flushed. "Six more hours..." he teased and grinned when her blush worsened.

"Thank you again, Doctor," Sam reached for Elizabeth's hand and squeezed it earnestly between both of hers. "I can't tell you how much this means to us."

"It's my pleasure," Elizabeth responded nervously. She was still trying to figure out John's riddle. Sam and Jack's wedding was just another one of her responsibilities, though admittedly one of the happier ones. She wondered how many more weddings she would have to preside over. Atlantis didn't have any religious leaders, and Jack had been more than happy to hand that duty off to her. "Really, you and Jack deserve to be happy and I think it sets a good precedent, it should help people feel more at home."

"You look better today," Daniel piped up in the silence that followed her thought, "you have color."

"Thank you," she replied immediately, without catching how sweet the compliment was. She hadn't realized how pale she'd been yesterday. Elizabeth had started making it a point to avoid mirrors when she had trouble looking at her own face. Sometimes she looked too much like her mother. "John was taking me to lunch."

"Yeah, there's this lovely little place..." John joked just enough to fish for a smile. "We'll see you at dinner."

"Okay..." Sam managed to reply, even though butterflies fought for the best position in her stomach. "Dinner."

"What were they looking for?" Elizabeth asked once Daniel and Sam were out of earshot.

"A dress," John responded as he led her to the line outside the cafeteria. "Sam didn't want to get married in her uniform. At least, not without dress blues."

"Oh," Elizabeth said softly as she tried to picture what a Pegasus wedding dress would look like. "I didn't know anyone was dressing up."

"I doubt the general will," John leaned up against the wall and got comfortable as he waited for the line to move on. "He's been threatening to show up wearing all kinds of things," his hand absently rubbed her shoulder, making her feel a little better immediately. "Keeps pestering Beckett for a kilt."

Leaning on the wall next to him felt entirely natural, even as refugees slipped past them with faces she didn't recognize. "Do you think marriage is important?"

"For some people," John replied lightly. His hand slid down to fall around her waist and his eyes were drawn to the stars outside the window. "I'd be all right without it."

"So there isn't some kind of romantic, last-minute proposal in my future?" Elizabeth teased just to watch the flush creep across his face.

"As long as you don't desperately decide you have to be married while you're in labor," he prodded back, still blushing slightly.

"I wouldn't do that to you," she promised as she let her head find his shoulder. "I think we'll both be a little too involved for something like that."

"Good," he finished, relieved. He played with her t-shirt for a moment before settling his hand over his stomach and whispering: "I think you're gaining weight."

"I am," she whispered back nervously. "Guess I haven't been as sick as I thought."

"You look wonderful," John promised as he dragged himself off the wall and moved with her when the line started to move, "you really do."

"You have to say that," Elizabeth replied softly, still pleased he thought so. He definitely wasn't one for empty compliments.

John's reply was lost as Vala pulled Daniel in line behind him.

"We're cutting," she announced proudly, "have to eat before our off-world expedition with Mitchell's team." Tossing her dark hair over her shoulder, she eyed the table full of food several meters of line away and sighed. "He wouldn't let us cut in front of you though. I remember getting to the part of being pregnant where I wanted to eat everything in sight, but I doubt you're there yet. You still look like you want to throw up."

"Liar," Elizabeth whispered in John's ear as she smiled at Vala. "Thank you," she offered with a wry smile.

"Vala..." Daniel corrected gently. "Elizabeth looks fine."

"Where are you going?" John tried to rescue the conversation. "More trading?"

"We need more food and one of the Genii villages we've recently been in contact with had a good crop this year," Daniel offered cheerfully, "and there are some ruins on the outskirts I'm really looking forward to checking out."

"He likes to read old rocks," Vala interjected as she pouted full lips towards them. "A whole village dying to trade with us and he will spend the whole mission reading old rocks."

The line moved forward and John kept Elizabeth close, as if letting her out of his sight would let her get away without eating. "Some ruins can be really exciting, I guess. Rodney just likes old technology."

"Valuable old technology?" Vala perked up, intrigued at the notion.

"Mostly just things that get us into trouble," John conceded and Elizabeth nodded along with him. "We usually have to trade newer technologies to get things."

"Sam traded nicknack she picked up in the Milky Way for her dress this afternoon," Daniel piped up with the same beaming smile. "Funny how anyone in Pegasus has yet to invent the bobble-head doll."

"There's something to be said for uniqueness I suppose," Elizabeth said as she felt John take her hand. "A great many things from Earth are going to be completely unique now. Relics of a lost civilization..." she trailed off when she realized none of them wanted to think any further about that.

~*~*~*~*~

---

"Are you sure this is worth something?" The tiny shopkeeper demanded as she looked up at John and then back at the Gameboy in her hands.

"Yeah," John insisted as he reached for the on switch. "I even had Rodney replace the battery with an enhanced one..."

The shopkeeper still looked skeptical as "Nintendo" flashed across the screen.

"...it'll run forever," John finished for the old woman. "Give it to your grandkids, kids love these things," he leaned in closer. "Besides, I can promise you it's the last one in the universe."

She pressed the buttons and watched in amusement as tiny pixelated karts started to race each other around the track. "All right, I'll give you the dress and the other clothes. There's not much in the universe like that dress either," shaking a finger at him, she studied his eyes. "She better be worth parting with this."

"I'm going to be busy," John explained lightly. Trying not to feel the pang of loss as he parted forever with his Gameboy, he reminded himself he wouldn't have a lot of free time for the rest of his life.

He caught a glimpse of red as she wrapped up his goods. The shirt and pants weren't exactly a uniform, but he thought Elizabeth would feel better with more than two sets of clothes. He also couldn't help noticing that only the pants she'd gotten from Carter really fit now. Her own pair had fallen prey to her changing waistline but she hadn't complained.

He took the package and headed back to Mitchell's team. Vala was arguing strenuously with some kind of banker about the price of precious metals on the Genii market. Mitchell had his hands folded over his P-90 as he waited by the edge of town.

"Daniel made a good deal for rice and something that looks like corn," Cameron explained as John walked up next to him, "even got them to throw in some spices. Wonder if your kitchen knows how to make corn bread..."

John smiled and tucked his package into his backpack. "Probably if you ask nicely, he guessed. "The night shift is usually more accommodating."

"I'll remember that," Cameron nodded his head over to the ruins to the north. "That Lieutenant Hartford you gave me is a damn good shot."

"I thought I owed you when I took Teal'c," John explained as he smiled proudly.

"'Bout time the big guy got his own team," Cameron agreed easily. "I'll miss him though; no one else will be that intimidating."

"Thanks for the heads up with the dress..." John offered shyly. "I'd probably still be looking."

"Daniel said red was her color," Cameron said as he looked over his list of supplies. "You probably want to thank him or Vala, she's the one who pointed it out to me. If anyone knows how to pick out the most expensive thing in the store...it's her."

John nodded slowly; he'd have to say something discreetly. "Coming to the wedding?" he asked Cameron after the silence had been comfortable long enough. Across the bazaar, Vala was still arguing, and from where they stood she seemed to be making progress.

"Wouldn't miss it," Cameron replied, flashing John an amused grin. "Kinda funny it only took the end of the world for those two to get together..."

"Rodney's going to go into mourning," John predicted with mock sorrow. "His last chance with Carter is gone."

"Speaking of mourning, what do you think the protocol is out here?" Cameron wondered nonchalantly. "I've been asked to the wedding and I'm not really sure...."

John shrugged. "It's my first apocalypse," he replied lazily. "Who caught you?"

"One of the new scientists has the cutest little girl," Cameron began optimistically. "She ran by and nearly made of with my tech vest to play dress up while I was waiting for Doctor McKay to give me my new IDC. Her mother and I had a nice talk over lunch. Absolutely brilliant..."

"Jeannie?" John guessed with a sad smile. "She lost her husband, didn't she?"

"I was thinking...maybe she just meant it as a friendly..."

"...yeah," John finished for the other man. "Though, to warn you, that's McKay's sister."

"I thought Jeannie had a sister on the Science team, not a brother?" Cameron asked, deeply confused, "kept referring to 'Meredith'."

"It's a long story," John promised with a trace of a laugh. "Well, it's a story anyways, get her to tell you at the wedding."
~*~*~*~*~

---

"The civilian elected Petrov Zelenka," Catherine Lorne announced as she settled into her chair at the conference table. "Your father's going to be a very important man," she predicted as she glanced across at Radek.

The scientist shrugged and crossed his arms nervously over his chest. "He's a good man, Doctor Weir, quiet, thoughtful..." he broke off grinning in quiet pride, "...mother always thought he had an interest in politics, but this..." he fluffed his hair and continued to smile as he muttered to himself.

"We're still conducting a final recount," Catherine continued with a slight smile. Though she shared the same thoughtful eyes as her son, her hair had grown icy white with age. "He won by a very significant margin, taking nearly seventy percent of the vote." Her smile faded as her eyes grew grim. "It is worth mentioning that the loser will pose a problem."

Beside his mother, Lorne nodded quickly. "His name is Sheldon Praice, we aren't entirely sure how he got on General Landry's list. He hasn't been forthcoming, but we believe he is the ex-husband of one of the scientists from the SGC. Unfortunately she didn't survive the attack and our biographical resources are limited..."

"...what has us concerned is his platform," Catherine finished for her son. "He advocates leaving Atlantis."

"Leaving?" Elizabeth nearly choked on her juice and it stung the back of her throat. Without John to correct her, she'd broken Carson's restrictions and worked through her dinner; which sat mostly uneaten on the conference table in front of her. "Where would he go?"

"Some people are having trouble adapting," Lorne mentioned softly, "it's easier for people with families. They have something to hang on to," he rested his hands on the table and felt his mother shift position next to him. It was odd, trying to work with her.

"He's convinced parts of Earth might still be habitable," Catherine muttered as she shook her head in disgust. "Idiot."

Elizabeth drummed her fingers lightly on the table and pushed what was left of her dinner aside. The pasta dish was actually one of the better things the kitchen had managed to come up with recently, but she just couldn't stomach it. "Worst case scenario?"

Neither Lorne met her eyes for a moment. Zelenka looked across at the younger Lorne and finally Catherine spoke.

"He's been collecting followers all through the elections," she began.

Elizabeth watched the warmth drain from the other woman's eyes. There was a look all military personnel had that she dreaded seeing.

Catherine tried to finish: "I'm not saying they are yet, but violence is a..."

"Elizabeth, we need you in control," Rodney's voice begged over the intercom.

"We'll be right there," Elizabeth replied as she left the table. Her fork bounced across the table when she pushed her chair in too quickly; she didn't even reach for it as she left the room.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Cameron's team returned to chaos. Rodney was on the stairs up to the control room. John knew the annoyed look on Rodney's face, but he heard the note of fear no one else would have recognized. He moved his hand until he felt the cool stock of the P-90 in his grip.

"Yelling is not going to make things better!" Rodney's voice carried over the din in the gate room as the wormhole faded away. "I'm not sure where you are all so desperate to go. There's nothing left."

"He's right," Jack called from the balcony that overlooked the gate room and the small mob in the corner. "You can gate to Earth..." he began dryly, "...and you'll die there," he leaned lazily out over them, being far more attentive than he let on.

"How do we know?" asked one man from the front of the group. "We've gotten all our information from you and some diplomat who fancies herself leader of all of us because she was appointed..."

"...by a bunch of people you keep telling us are dead!" screamed someone else.

Vala moved quickly behind Cameron and Daniel, she had seen enough mobs to know she wanted to be elsewhere. Daniel looked up at Jack and then sadly out at the people; the noise was getting worse. Nearly thirty pairs of feet shuffled against the cold floor of the gate room and John could see the marines starting to assemble in the hallways in and out of the gate room.

He held his P-90 closer and cut through the crowd on his way up to control. For a moment the leader looked like he was going to give John some trouble, but Cameron holding his gun lazily against his chest and Lieutenant Hartford behind him was enough to part the mob. John passed Rodney at the top of the stairs.

"I don't know where they came from," Rodney whispered hysterically to his friend. "One minute I was explaining to General O'Neill and Elizabeth how to access some of the new computer systems I've discovered and the next there's this bunch, demanding to be allowed to gate to Earth."

John patted his shoulder confidently and looked down at his sidearm. "Elizabeth and the general can handle them."

"You just had an election for a civilian representative to the government," Elizabeth's voice carried calmly through the room, "you all had a chance to vote for your leader."

"Who voted for you?" someone yelled up, and a few jeers followed. "Who voted for the Military? Who decided the Americans should be in charge?"

"Fine!" Jack's voice cut through the chattering. "Where do you want to go?" he dropped his voice, "I'll open up the gate and send you goddamn anywhere you please!"

Elizabeth shot him a look, and he read her concern in her eyes. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the railing. "We can't keep them against their will, if they want to leave we have to let them."

John wished he could ease her burden, she'd been in such a good mood after lunch. Without a word, he slipped in behind her. Getting just close enough that she'd know he was there if she needed him.

Whipping her head towards Rodney, she pointed down beneath the stairs and called him over. "I want a MALP ready to go and one of the spare IDC transmitters..."

Rodney nodded and left the stairs to prepare the device.

"This city..." Elizabeth began softly enough that the mob had to become quiet to hear her. "...is not a prison. We didn't take you from your homes and bring you here to ruin your lives; we brought you to save you. I am sorry that some of you don't have families here. I am sorry that some of your families are dead. We've all lost someone..."

"We've lost more than people!" the leader replied angrily. "We've lost our homes, our jobs, our means to be independent. Here we sleep where you tell us, eat what you give us and wait for handouts for clothing. This is no way to live!" His supporters agreed with him; muttering behind him in support.

"Who is he?" John whispered as he leaned closer to Major Lorne.

The major sighed heavily and rubbed his hands together. "Mr Sheldon Praice, he was some kind of attorney back on Earth. I guess his ex-wife was one of the scientists we lost in the invasion. At first they were just asking a lot of question about the election..." he paused and surveyed the group below before shaking his head, "...now they want to leave."

Rodney rolled the MALP out in front of the gate. Elizabeth turned to Charles and Walter, both technicians were waiting patiently for her instructions. "Dial Earth," she ordered grimly.

The lights in the gate began to glow, and everyone backed up as Rodney did.

"We'll show you Earth..." Jack called down grumpily as he pointed to the MALP. "It's a lovely little vacation spot now, just north of hell..." Two of the marines pushed in one of the portable Lantian screens and stood by it. As the eighth chevron locked, Rodney lurched the MALP forward. He looked as apprehensive as Elizabeth did. Her lips were pale as she tightened them into a thinner line.

The MALP disappeared and the monitor went to black as the MALP waited to materialize. In that time everyone grew quiet, waiting as one for the picture.

The MALP emerged in smoke. The screen showed clearly that the Stargate had been moved and set upright again. It had somehow survived the nuclear explosion and now sat in an empty parking lot of what John guessed was Cheyenne Mountain. Crumpled and scorched blacktop was all around it and the wind carried smoke as it blew past. Heavy machinery sat patiently around the gate, waiting to be picked up by the mining crews Caldwell had reported.

"It's a trick," Mr Praice shouted through the silence. "I'll show you..."

One of the marines lunged for him as he ran towards the gate. The marine was held back by a larger member of the mob. As Jack shook his head, he backed up.

Rodney just stayed out of the way as Praice stared at the rippling gate. "Don't do it!" the scientist warned in a panic. "The atmosphere is full of radiation, sulfur and chlorine gases..."

"Oh shut up," Praice snapped irritably. "Let me live my life..."

"Let you die horribly is more like it," Rodney muttered as he turned his eyes away to watch the Replicator mining equipment creak to life as someone arrived off camera to use it. "That planet is incapable of supporting human life. ANY life. Don't you understand that? The moment you step through, you will die. Chlorine will burn your lungs and you'll die choking on your own blood."

Rodney's horror got through to the crowd in a way reason could not. The restless muttering grew quieter and some fists unclenched.

"Let us go somewhere else," Praice demanded, though with less vehemence than before.

"Where?" Jack wondered sarcastically. "Should I just pick a planet?"

"That Alpha site," Praice suggested. "There were structures there, one of your stargate things..." he trailed off and waved towards the gate.

"The Odyssey took nearly everything," Cameron murmured behind Jack's head. "Nothing left there but a few slabs of concrete."

"Can we talk about this?" Elizabeth suggested down to the mob. "Come up to the conference room and we'll find a better planet; something safer."

John watched as her teeth tightened into her lip. There was no safe anymore. Earth, the last haven of free humanity in either galaxy, had fallen into darkness and become a toxic ball of rock.

The tension in the room eased when Priace nodded and came towards the stairs. Reluctantly content with the idea of leaving Atlantis, even he turned and stared sadly at Earth before the wormhole dissipated. John only watched the ring for a moment before he turned his eyes back to Elizabeth. He always looked down before he looked up, lately.
~*~*~*~*~

---

"You're going to be the first couple to get married in space," Cameron toasted with the soft green bubbling liquid in his cup. "First Earth couple anyway."

Sam smiled, radiating her patience outward over her friends. The pale blue dress Daniel had helped her find was obviously Genii. It reminded John faintly of the first time they'd visited the Genii home world. There was something calming about the way it fell down around her feet. Maybe it was because he didn't see women in dresses much, or perhaps the fact that the color reminded him faintly of a very pleasant senior prom; either way, he contented himself with his musings.

"It means so much to me that you're here," Sam explained gently as she lifted her cup to Cameron, Daniel, Teal'c and Vala. "It wouldn't be our wedding without you."

Vala clinked her glass against Sam's and grinned brightly. "Of course not," she teased before her face fell when she looked around. "I did expect more presents."

The corner of Sam's mouth twitched and she shared a look with Daniel. "You look lovely," she offered as a change of subject. Daniel had managed to pick out a dark green dress that made her look like the peasant girl who could stop the king's carriage.

"So does Daniel," Vala giggled as she entwined her arm with his.

"Feels kind of strange, doesn't it?" Cameron wondered as he twitched in his shirt. He felt like he was undercover, sneaking into some peasant village after the Ori in his black shirt and jacket. It was Sam's wedding and he would have shown up naked if she had asked him to, so he tugged at the sleeve one more time and relaxed.

Daniel seemed entirely at ease as he walked Vala over to the railing of the upper balcony. With the city's forcefield around them, the little wedding party could look out into the stars and down over the city. The Artemis even had a place of honor on the North pier, where Sam could look down over her vessel.

John waited by the table with the sparkling green wine Teal'c had managed to procure on his trading mission. It left a spicy taste in his mouth, reminding him that even champagne was different in the Pegasus Galaxy. He poured his second glass and wondered how much longer he'd lose Elizabeth to her meeting. He'd offered to stay, help her find a planet for Praice and his fellow deserters, but she'd declined. She thought too much military assistance would scare them off.

It was already past twenty-one hundred hours. Four hours past when Carson said she should stop working. He fidgeted with the metal cup in his hands and wondered what he could do to make time go faster. Sam seemed to share his impatience when she leaned back on the railing next to him.

"Seems like we're always waiting, doesn't it?" she wondered as she nudged his shoulder playfully. Clinking her cup against his, Sam realized that next to everyone else here, he understood how she felt. Love always came in second to duty and that reality seemed to be hitting him harder now.

John sipped his drink and felt bubbles tickle the inside of his nose. "They should be done by now," he complained as he looked over his shoulder anxiously. "She's not supposed to be working this late."

"He knows," Sam reminded him as stared into her cup. "Thank you," she finished softly.

"For what?" John asked distractedly. Watching the technicians work on the Artemis gave him something to do.

"Sharing her," Sam explained as she touched his shoulder with his. "I know it's the last thing you want to do."

"The city has to come first," John repeated dully as he finished the last of his wine. "That's the way it goes, isn't it?"

"How's she doing?" Sam asked as she watched Vala coax the story of Cameron's sisters wedding out of him. Teal'c's rich laughter carried across the balcony.

"She fakes it," John murmured lazily. Sparks from welders on the hull of the Artemis carried up into the sky. "I guess I wait."

"I know it sounds stupid.." Sam started shyly as her lips curled around the rim of her cup, "...love is worth waiting for."

"You're the expert," John agreed. Heading the table, he filled his cup halfway and grabbed one of the sweet cakes Halling had brought. Maddie tugged on his sleeve and demanded one as well. Leaning down to her, he found his smile again.

"Having a good time?" he wondered as he watched her cake crumble onto her lips.

Maddie nodded eagerly and swallowed her cake. "Mommy's smiling today," she replied calmly as she waved over at her mother. Jeannie was between a laughing Rodney and Carson who were trying to explain to Cameron something that involved a great deal of hand gestures.

She waved him in closer, as if she were sharing a secret. "She misses Daddy lots," Maddie pointed out.

"I'll bet," John answered. Somehow it was impossible not to be cheerful watching a child smear cake all over their face. He reached for one of the colorful scraps of the cloth the Athosians practically used as napkins. Scrubbing her face made her giggle and he escorted her back to the laughing group around her mother.

"Cake!" Maddie announced to her mother as Rodney scooped her up.

"Thanks!" Rodney replied gleefully as he took a bite out of what was left of her cake.

"Thank you Colonel," Jeannie offered politely. She was pale and much thinner than she had been the first time they'd met.

"Call me John, remember?" he started to extend his hand but shock won out when he found her arms wrapped around him.

"I remember," Jeannie replied as the flush spread across her face. Rodney looked somewhat mortified that she'd hugged him, but he calmed when Jeannie smiled. "That's for saving Meredith as many times as you have," she explained. "I realized I hadn't thanked you and I-"

"Thanks," John interrupted quickly. "I kinda like having him around, don't I, Meredith?"

"Actually, we make a pretty good team," Rodney replied after an initial wince. "Any idea when this is going to start? Ketterman's saving the good food until after the ceremony."

John shrugged looked around the balcony at all of the people waiting. "They'll get here," he assured Rodney without much faith. The last time he'd let Elizabeth stay late in a meeting she'd collapsed. He wasn't ready for that again. Carson had warned her. They'd tried to cut her schedule back; force her to slow down, but Elizabeth kept going at the same frantic pace. In the back of his mind it suddenly made sense. He remembered going like that, pushing his body until he couldn't feel the pain in his heart over the screaming of his muscles. He knew what she was running from; he just hoped he'd be able to keep up.
~*~*~*~*~

---

The fighting sticks clashed over her head and Teyla jammed her elbow back and up, feeling Ronon's slick skin against her own. Sweat filled her hair, running hot down the back of her neck into her workout top. Hit, parry, retreat, and then he knocked her down to the mat.

Blood rushed in her head, feeling his body thump down on top of her as he pinned her. She slammed her hand into his chest instinctually, feeling the pounding of his heart beneath the musculature. Hunger raged inside of her, desperate to be stated as it ate at her control.

Teyla had picked Ronon, forced Michael's mind to focus on him. Michael had contemplated other victims. He toyed heavily with the idea of John or Carson, but as soon as Michael's mind had wandered across Elizabeth she'd focused every part of her being on Ronon. He was the strongest, she promised Michael; the biggest challenge, the brightest life, but none of that convinced him. It was letting her guard down that did it.

The love she'd kept in her heart tipped Michael towards Ronon. Teyla could taste blood in her mouth, feel the weight of Ronon's heaving chest against hers; she needed him. Michael and the Wraith mind told her she needed his life, but she'd loved him longer than that. She'd needed him since before the Wraith were born. In the darkest corner of her mind, the last part he hadn't been able to touch, Teyla kept her hope. Ronon could fight her. He could hold her off, resist anything Michael tried to do.

His head was centimeters away from hers. Breath rushed from his lips, hot and moist against her skin. Her flesh crawled with hunger. Her hand was ineffectual. She lacked the Wraith orifice to drain his life and she dug in her nails in protest.

As the new pain from her fingernails tore into the flesh of his chest, he grunted; both surprised and aroused. His blood was up and as hot as the knot in her stomach. He crushed her lips, devouring the firmness of them as he took them as trophies. For a moment her passion overtook Michael's control and Teyla kissed him as she had wanted too. She fought back, running her teeth against his lower lip before they parted.

With their eyes centimeters apart, eternity passed between them. Teyla felt her fragile victory slipping as Michael resumed control of her body. She wondered what Ronon saw as Michael forced her back beneath his consciousness. Drowning in darkness, Ronon's brown eyes were the last thing she saw of her own accord.

Michael whipped her arm up, catching Ronon under the chin. Twisting her body against the mat, she slipped from beneath him. Michael lashed out with her arm and her fist, driving it into the back of Ronon's skull. His breath escaped his lungs in a rush as he collapsed to the mat.

"It would be a waste to kill him without feeding," Michael whispered to her, "all that energy..."

Teyla understood the hunger and the desperate desire to drain all the power from the unconscious form of the giant before her. Michael's memories of feeding promised an experience unlike anything she had ever felt. The singular, perfect sensation of being entirely filled and for that moment wanting nothing else from the universe was tantalizing in a way nothing in life had been before. Fulfillment was possible. She could find peace.

They were running; tearing down the hallway, then up the stairs. They hid in the shadows, moving with a shared grace that became more Wraithlike as they continued. He led them to the armory, where they retrieved one of the small Wraith stunners. She was relieved he hadn't chosen one of the deadly weapons. Had she been able to steer his hand?

Michael held back as they passed the infirmary. Teyla could feel the disgust and terror rip through them as his memories of the retrovirus flooded his mind. He set their jaw tightly, biting their lip as he made up his mind. She had wondered how he planned to get out of the city. As they rounded the corner, weapon up and pointed at the back of Carson's head, sick realization settled in her stomach.

"Teyla, love," he startled at the sound of footsteps behind him and sighed, relieved it was her. It took a few beats of her heart before he saw the weapon. "What's going on?" The fear in Carson's eyes lanced through her painfully as Michael's anger exploded in her stomach.

Then fear solidified into terror and Carson understood what he saw. Teyla's eyes had already begun to change.
~*~*~*~*~

---

Jack sat lazily on the edge of the bed in Elizabeth's quarters. He toyed with the brass buttons on the jacket Ladon had given him. The Genii dress uniform was dark grey and double breasted, but it was nicer than anything he'd been able to scrounge up. He hadn't ever expected that his wedding with Sam would be in another Galaxy on an Ancient city in a strange uniform.

Elizabeth washed her face with the coldest water she could coax from the sink in her bathroom. Her hair was getting longer, curling down her back and getting thicker as it grew. She toyed with a piece, wondering how stress could actually be good for her hair. Then she remembered something she'd heard. Why hadn't she paid more attention when her friends had gotten pregnant? Or even listened to one of her mother's stories...

Her head ached again and the edges of her vision were a little fuzzy. Her stomach twisted and promised to make the rest of the night more difficult. Elizabeth avoided looking at her own nearly naked form in the mirror. Her body was changing faster than she wanted to deal with. Her stomach was rounded outward just enough for her pants not to fit comfortably. Carter's were thankfully still baggy enough not to bite. She sighed and turned away.

John's package sat in the corner, right where he'd promised to leave it. She unwrapped the rough paper. Soft red fabric flowed over her fingers. Elizabeth put her free hand over her mouth and stifled her tiny cry. It was beautiful; deep, multifaceted red that must have been dyed in by hand. Like everything else she'd seen in the trade villages on Pegasus it had been stitched carefully by hand as well. She pulled it on over her head, feeling the dress settle lovingly over her skin. Intricate laces tightened hung loosely in the back and she reached around but couldn't.

"Would you?" she called finally to Jack in the bedroom.

"Are you indecent?" Jack teased as he wandered in with a playful leer on his face. "I didn't get a bachelor's party..." he trailed off and whistled gently when she turned around. The cut of the dress fell deeply over her fuller breasts before clinging attractively to her stomach.

"Are you sure it's my wedding?" he remarked lightly as he turned her around to lace up the back. Thin cords slipped tight beneath his fingers and Jack paused to admire how it accentuated the curve of her back. "You look amazing," he assured her. "Who knew John had any taste..."

Elizabeth started to playfully hit his shoulder in defense of John but then stopped and shrugged. "I had no idea," she admitted with a tiny smile. The dress swirled around her feet and drifted over the floor. It felt funny to wear it with her combat boots, but extra shoes hadn't been in her backpack when she'd left Earth the last time. "I don't think he's even seen me in a dress."

"Well," Jack began as he offered his arm to her. "It's a good thing it's not his wedding. I think you'd have to have that Ronon stand behind him and hit him to remind Sheppard to speak."
~*~*~*~*~

---

"I, General Jack O'Neill, being recently convinced that you are the only person I could ever spend the rest of my life with," Jack began in a jovial tone before he turned serious. Sam's eyes were blue and liquid as she stared across at him. He could have stood there forever, "do promise," he continued, "before our friends...our family, to love you with all I've got until the end of our days...and nights together."

"Sam?" Elizabeth asked softly, watching a tear escape the other woman's blonde lashes. "Do you promise, before these assembled guests, to love Jack with all of your heart, until the end of your time together?"

"I, Colonel Samantha Carter, do promise," Sam stopped for a second, tightening the death grip on his hands, "before our family and friends, to love you with all of my heart until the end of our time together."

"Then by the power of my office as Governor of the city of Atlantis," Elizabeth paused and cleared her tears from her throat. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the general," she teased from her position at the front of the balcony.

In the silence, even Elizabeth's heartbeat seemed loud. Jack and Sam looked at each other. The silence turned to rustling and muttering as the crowd waited.

"Hasn't it been long enough already?" Daniel coughed and whispered from his place at Sam's side.

Jack caught Sam's chin. "I love you," he promised more sincerely than he'd ever been in the long years of his life.

She stood on her tiptoes, bringing their lips just close enough to excite the crowd. "I love you too, Jack," Sam finished before closing the distance between their lips.

It was as if all present had been waiting for that kiss. The roar of the crowd drowned out the racing of Elizabeth's heart. Teal'c cheered at Jack's side, and someone Daniel kissed her cheek with giddy enthusiasm. Cameron squeezed her shoulder, thanking her with his eyes before SG-1 surrounded their newly married members.

Her head spun wildly with the chaos around her but she couldn't help smiling. If she passed out now, she'd still be smiling. Warmth and strength closed around her body and she clung to the hand draped over her shoulder.

"You're beautiful," John whispered as he rested his chin on her other shoulder.

"John, I-" Elizabeth started as she turned her head. His eyes cut through the terror she'd been fighting in her heart; he knew. It was all over his face that he knew, but she still had to say it. The crowd was cheering and goading Sam and Jack on as the kiss continued but all she could hear was him.

"John," she started again, looking down at the hand he had on her stomach before she looked back up.

The alarm shattered the wedding. Bates' internal security alarm had been tripped and the screaming siren ruined the merriment. Elizabeth felt desperation settle cold in the pit of her stomach.

"For crying out loud," Jack yelled at the ceiling. "This is my goddamned wedding for Christ sakes..."

Elizabeth pulled her earpiece out of her boot and jammed it into her ear. Sergeant Bates' voice carried through the siren.

"One of the jumpers just went through the gate," he reported grimly. "It appeared to be Teyla and Doctor Beckett."

John shared her confusion. Mouthing: "Teyla and Beckett?" as he waited for the rest of the report.

"Scramble Major Lorne's team and go after them," Elizabeth ordered quickly. Teyla and Carson had no reason to steal a jumper. Confusion settled in when desperation and disappointment faded. "I'll be right down..."

John stayed glued to her side as she made her way to Jack and Sam.

"One of the jumpers has been stolen," she explained and apologized in the same breath. Major Lorne's team is going after it but I should..."

"Let him handle it," Jack suggested, he had seen how much color she'd lost in the short ceremony. The rich red of the dress only made her seem paler. "Is there anything you can do from control you can't do from here? This is a once in a millennia event. Do you know how many wagers of aliens are riding on this very moment?"

John managed a smile but Elizabeth couldn't stir one.

"He's right," Sam agreed; a tear still glistening on her cheek. "All of our lives are so short, so precarious now...we can't afford to waste a single moment. Trust your people."

John nodded at her side. He hated to agree with them. He wanted to be there fighting to bring Teyla and Beckett both home. Jack's eyes flickered to Elizabeth and he followed the general's gaze. The concern on Jack's face was genuine. Elizabeth's skin was cold to the touch as she held his hand. She needed to sit, not to run up to control and worry. Ronon, Zelenka, Lorne, Bates...they could figure it out.

"Come on," John urged gently as he took a step towards the table filling with fresh food, "they can always radio you if they need us."

"It's the first Atlantian wedding for the last ten thousand years," Daniel pointed out as he arrived with Vala on his arm and several cups of sparking wine.

Vala handed across a cup of water to Elizabeth. "And you did a lovely job," she complemented. "You kept it short."

Teal'c's smile infected the team, and soon Cameron started to chuckle.

John hugged her shoulders. "You did great," he promised soothingly. Elizabeth appreciated the gesture, but she knew he was worrying just as much as she was. It made his kiss on the cheek all the more genuine as Daniel started to lead a toast.

Sam collapsed onto the bench next to Elizabeth and leaned back against the wall, sighing as she rolled her head along her shoulders. "Are all nine hundred people here?"

"No," Elizabeth laughed initially and then grew stiff. It had been over an hour since she'd heard from control. John kept trying to get her to relax, reminding her that their people were the best. Lorne and Ronon could find Teyla.

"I think it's close though," Sam teased as she closed her eyes. "It's beautiful," she murmured before she opened them again. "This whole city is just beautiful."

"Thank you," Elizabeth sighed softly and tried not to dwell on the coldness of the stars. "I miss the ocean."

"Rodney said we'll need to land again," Sam mentioned over the edge of her cup. "The city's air circulation isn't up to one hundred percent yet."

Elizabeth blinked slowly before pressing on the center of her forehead. Wondering what she'd give to wake up and have no complaints from her body, she dropped her hands back into her lap. Her left hand caught slightly on the roundness of her stomach and she stopped herself before she rested her hand there.

"Do you think you and John will be next?" Sam asked as she rubbed the handle of her cup. Jack was in the center of a group of people, laughing as he glanced over her way. Meeting his eyes for a moment, however briefly; sent a thrill up the back of her neck.

"Next?" Elizabeth repeated softly. Her stomach was harder than she remembered. She thought her belly would be softer, but it wasn't. She stopped her hand and looked over at Sam. "I don't understand."

"He's adorable..." she pointed over with her cup. John was over in the corner behind a plant, waiting for four-year-old Maddie to find him. Cameron and Jeannie shared a piece of cake and watched as the two of them chased each other around Rodney. "John is really excited about the baby," Sam explained with a smile. "We were working on Jack's battle plan and he kept getting this funny grin."

"Oh," Elizabeth replied quickly. It took her a moment to pull her mind back. "It's not the best time."

"Is there a good time to have a baby?" Sam teased as she swirled the liquid in the bottom of her cup. "It took us years to figure us out. Don't let that happen to you," she warned softly. "Life is so fragile here."

"Maybe we just never saw how fragile it was before," Elizabeth replied darkly. How many times had she passed up the chance to talk to her mother? How many cups of tea had she put off until another day? Her eyes stung and she stopped trying to fight the tears giving her the pounding headache in the middle of her head. "I was so stupid..." she trailed off, remembering things she'd given up.

"Do you cry at all weddings?" Sam wondered shyly as she caught sight of Elizabeth's tears. "My dad used to have to retreat mysteriously to the bathroom..."

Elizabeth laughed, but it caught in her throat and choked into a sob. "I'm sorry," she stammered as she wiped at her eyes.

Setting down her cup, Sam caught her hands and stopped her. "It's okay," she promised softly. "You can blame hormones."

"Hormones..." Elizabeth shook her head and wished Sam would let her dry her face. "I can't just..."

"No one's watching," Sam assured her. "I'm not going to think less of you," she continued softly, "or start challenging your authority because I saw you cry."

"I shouldn't..." Elizabeth argued with herself. She didn't know Sam. Except for Teyla she had barely allowed herself to get close to any of the women in the city, and Teyla certainly had her own problems at the moment. Worrying about Teyla shocked her back to reality. "They should have contacted us by now, the rescue teams..."

"Do you love him?" Sam interrupted, forcing Elizabeth back to her personal life.

Elizabeth jolted, sitting up straighter and immediately looking away from Sam's face. The question tore at her. John loved her. She'd seen it shining blindly in his eyes when he looked at her. He'd admitted it. "I'm carrying his child," she replied evasively. "He sleeps in my bed."

"You didn't answer the question," Sam correctedArtemis gently. She got up for a moment, walking to the table of food; she retrieved one of the cloth napkin scraps. She sat down again and handed it to Elizabeth. "Do you want to be with him?"

"I can't be without him," Elizabeth whispered weakly. She rubbed her tears away with the napkin, but fresh ones replaced the old. "Everything's changing, and this city has to protect a more precious burden each day. We've lost so much already..."

"...we're growing," Sam interjected. "We're creating. Jack and I got married..." she stopped dead and grinned sheepishly. "Do you have any idea how long we've waited? How many times I knew I would die alone because I'd let go of my best chance...my only chance to be truly happy? We're human and we survive. It's what we're best at doing."

"What's the difference between loving him and clinging to him because I'm terrified?" Elizabeth demanded bitterly. She couldn't help thinking that Sam was right on a darker level than she realized. They were past living and into the darkness of gritty survival. She was pregnant because she needed a reason to keep going.

"I think you know," Sam offered as she reached across to the other woman's shoulder. "You know..."

"...I don't," Elizabeth finished, starting to tremble slightly. "I honestly don't. John's in every part of my life. Part of him is living inside of me, but do I love him?" Her hand crushed the damp napkin against the red silk covering her stomach. "I can barely look at myself in the mirror," she admitted finally. "I can't face it..."

Sam hugged her; impulsively folding the other woman into her arms. Elizabeth's shoulders were cold, and she wondered if she should get one of the men to give up their jacket. "It's okay," she promised gently. "It's okay. You're doing great."

"I'm working too hard," Elizabeth argued as she let herself cling to Sam. "I feel like hell."

"I've heard that's part of being pregnant," Sam reminded her gently. "At least...it was in the last movie I saw. Can't say I have any first hand experience..." she trailed off and squeezed a little tighter. Her recently broken ribs protested indignantly, but Elizabeth's breathing slowed.

"My breasts hurt," Elizabeth admitted shyly as she lifted her head from Sam's shoulder. "They've done nothing most of my life, and now they feel like I let Ronon train me in hand-to-hand combat."

"You did?" Sam wondered with a worried look.

"Once," Elizabeth nodded with a wry chuckle. "For about seven seconds," she continued. "Teyla let me train with the Athosian teenagers after that."

"I see," Sam replied as she retrieved the damp napkin and cleaned tears from Elizabeth's face. "I don't think anyone, especially John, is going to rush you into anything."

"I should be..." Elizabeth cut off but bit her lip and finished, "I should be able to tell him. Show him...be more than..."

"Love sneaks up on us," Sam explained gently. "One day I'm out trying to save the galaxy, minding my own business, and the next I'm wondering how I'm going to make it through the night without him. When you're not looking, I think you'll find it." She rubbed Elizabeth's shoulder once more and looked over at the man who was now her husband. Jack's quietly concerned glance asked her more than anyone else could have fit into a minute of time. She smiled back, reminding him just how lucky he was. "Now...I have it on good authority that the cake is amazing..."

Sam stood and reached down towards Elizabeth. "Come on, Jack wants to pontificate about the wonders of marriage and we're wasting his chance."

"Give me a moment?" Elizabeth begged softly.

Sam nodded as she watched Elizabeth stare down at the crumpled napkin. "Don't take too long," she pushed before she walked away.

Elizabeth's fingers cupped the small roundness of her belly and she really looked down at herself. Beyond the aching fullness of her breasts, her stomach had changed without her notice or permission. It seemed that John's child was as confidant as he was that her heart would learn to accept them. Was it her part of the child that made her dizzy? Was it the magnification of her own apprehension that turned her stomach?

"Or hormones..." Elizabeth whispered to herself. Her dress swished around her feet as she finally stood up. With her tears spent, her headache had faded to a foggy feeling that wasn't entirely unpleasant. John was waiting for her, watching as she made her way through the crowd. His arm went immediately around her back.

"Warm enough?" he asked politely. He started to shrug out of his jacket.

Elizabeth started to insist otherwise, but now that she thought about it, she was cold. Letting him hold out his jacket, she slipped her arms into it. "Did you hear from Lorne or Ronon yet?"

"No," he straightened the collar of his Genii dress jacket around her neck. John's lips with thin with concern. "But, Ronon can track Wraith through anything," he shrugged and studied her.

"You look good in black," Jack decided lightly as he snuggled closer to his new wife. "So...do I get a whole night for my honeymoon? Or do you intend to drag me out of my wedded bliss?"

"The mission will wait for you, General," Elizabeth promised softly. John's jacket smelled like him and somehow that calmed her stomach. "We're launching the Artemis at thirteen hundred, so you can sleep in."

Jack looked down at his watch and back at her with quiet dismay. "That's only twelve and a half hours from now," he paused and downed the rest of his wine. "Let's go..." he playfully started to drag Sam towards the door.

She laughed and kissed his cheek, glowing as she met his gaze. "We have time," Sam insisted.

Jack rolled his eyes. "We've wasted so much until now and you can still look at me and say we have time?"

Sam laughed again; radiating her joy so palpable warmth suffused the room. John smirked and snuck his fingers inside the jacket over Elizabeth's hip. Cameron, Rodney and Jeannie joined the circle. Madison was fast asleep in her uncle's arms and he was glowing nearly as much as Sam.

"She likes me," he announced in a whisper. "She really likes me."

Jeannie shook her head and accepted the cup Cameron passed to her. "I think they're both the same age mentally," she confided to the group. "Though, you were having a good time as well, John. Maybe I should loan her to you so you get some practice..."

Cameron joined her and chuckled when John looked down shyly. Elizabeth watched as Daniel and Vala disappeared into a darker corner of the balcony. She watched in quiet surprise as Daniel reached for the alien woman's face, pulling her closer to him. Her soft smile as Daniel and Vala kissed made everyone else turn and look. Jack raised an eyebrow and Sam's smile grew a bit brighter.

"Gotta love weddings," Jack teased as he raised his glass. "To Sam, the most beautiful bride in this galaxy, or any other she happens to be in." Laughing as he kissed his wife, he clinked his cup into those of his friends.

---

The gate faded as the glistening blue wormhole evaporated. Ronon slammed his fist into the side of it and glared up at the control room. "Empty...again," he growled as he followed Zelenka and Lorne up the stairs towards control.

Zelenka sighed and stared down at his computer. "The DHD on the second planet Teyla took Doctor Beckett to is one of the oldest I've seen and barely in working order," he explained to Lorne because Ronon was no longer listening. "It predates the city by several hundred years, possibly longer than that. We're lucky I was able to get any coordinates from it at all..." he drifted off as Ronon glared at him.

"Fix it," Ronon demanded darkly. "Find them." He didn't look back as he stomped off towards his quarters.

Lorne gave the scientist a sympathetic glance. "How many planets do we have left to check?"

"Thirty-one, based on the address the Lantian library thinks are still viable," Zelenka replied as he straightened his glasses on his nose. "However, it is possible that Teyla was possessed by the Wraith or somehow affected by them and she used gate addresses only known to them.."

"Which means we may never find them," Lorne finished for him. "Why take Beckett? She's much closer to Sheppard or McKay..."

"Perhaps the Wraith have a special hatred for Beckett," Zelenka mused as he plugged his portable computer into the mainframe. "He did come up with the retrovirus that makes them human."

"Do you think they're all right?" Lorne wondered quietly as he watched Zelenka boot up his computer. "It doesn't have to be Wraith, does it? Teyla could just be out of her mind, confused..."

"You think?" Zelenka wondered over the computer. "I don't know if any of us ever get that lucky."

"We'll find them," the major repeated optimistically. He settled in a chair next to Zelenka and waited patiently. "We missed the wedding," he pointed out lazily as he watched the two computers interact. "I was going to head over to the balcony...see if there was any food left..."

Zelenka looked up instantly from his work. "That's a wonderful idea," he interrupted quickly. "Let's go," he insisted as started away from the desk. "All I've had today are those terrible MREs..."

Lorne shared his disgusted face. "We're down to the last of our stores too," he agreed with a wince. "Chili macaroni has got to be one of the worst flavors an MRE can come in. I didn't mind it so much when we still had the BBQ ribs...those at least are covered in sauce so you don't care what it tastes like."

Laughing as he walked along beside him, Zelenka nodded. "I went a few trips with the Russian Stargate teams, back in the Milky Way and my commander used to get into big arguments with the quartermaster when they played cards..."

"Uh-oh," Lorne said, grinning wickedly as they headed down the hall.

"One mission we had nothing, but potted meats and rye bread for two weeks," he explained and shivered at the memory. "We made him stop playing cards after that."

"Good idea," Lorne agreed as he made way for some of the more intoxicated revelers leaving the party. His watch read oh-three hundred and he couldn't help wondering what trouble everyone had gotten into. It wasn't every day a general got married.

Doctor Jackson was up ahead, laughing as he leaned against one of the glowing corners of the grey wall. Vala crashed alongside him a moment later, laughing and finishing the last of her sparkling wine before her metal cup crashed to the floor. She turned into Daniel's arms and Lorne and Zelenka snuck past as she melted his resolve with a kiss.

"Do you think they even saw us?" Lorne wondered with amusement as he hid around the next corner with Zelenka.

Zelenka shook his head quickly. "I don't think they saw anything..." Still fairly amused, he continued down the hall.

When they finally made it out to the grand balcony it was mostly deserted. Sam and Jack were still dancing lazily by the part of the PA system Rodney had rigged up as a stereo. Slow music, unrecognizable and wordless, drifted across the balcony.

"Who had this CD?" Lorne wondered as he tried to place the melody. "I don't..."

"Rodney got it from the database," Zelenka offered as he started at the head of the buffet table. "The Ancients had music from all parts of the galaxy. Some of their archive is older than that DHD..."

Lorne stacked finger foods onto his plate and licked his thumb clean of a dark red sauce. "How long will it take the computer to run the gate addresses?" he asked. Dumping the last of some kind of fruit salad onto one corner of his plate, he paused over the barrel of sparkling wine from the Genii. "Are we going out again tonight?"

Zelenka shook his head and filled a cup of wine. "No, the computer will not be finished with its analysis until after we're moving on the Asuran home world," he explained. Balancing a piece of cake over the top of his cup, he grinned over his food at the major. "I get to manage the shield systems on the city," he said as he stuffed a piece of spiced meat into his mouth. "You?"

"Stand-by in the jumper bay," Lorne replied as he sank onto a bench near the railing. "Transporting medical teams and damage control," he finished.

"Hopefully we'll stay in the bay," Zelenka wished and raised his cup thoughtfully.

Lorne thudded his glass against his friends. "Hopefully the shields won't need any work either," he toasted. Passing his plate across, he pointed at a few piece of meat. "You have to try this, did you get any?"

Reaching across and grabbing a piece with his fingers, Zelenka grinned broadly as he closed his eyes in delight. "Excellent," he replied zestfully. "We should have more weddings," he chuckled as he shoveled rice pilaf into his mouth.

"Who's still over there?" Lorne wondered as he finished his fruit salad.

"General O'Neill," Zelenka started as he glanced over towards the stragglers. "Colonel O'Neill, Colonel Sheppard's sitting in the corner there."

"We should report to him," Lorne sighed as he finished his the last of the food on his plate. He ran a piece of bread over his plate and cleaned up the last of the sauces. "He's not going to be happy."

Zelenka nodded and shared Lorne's sigh of resignation. "Do you see Doctor Weir?" he asked apprehensively. "She's going to give us that look..."

Lorne winced and collected Zelenka's empty plate. "I hate that look," he agreed softly. "Least we didn't lose Sheppard..."

Zelenka shuddered and followed Lorne over to the bins full of dishes. "Who drew dish duty?"

"Edison's team," Lorne answered with a wicked smile. "They're the most behind on their mission reports." They both shook their heads. "Ready?"

"Yes," Zelenka replied nervously as he glanced over in the corner.

---

John had watched her dance with everyone; Rodney, Doctor Jackson, Teal'c, Jack, and many of his own troops. He had missed Teyla's quiet presence and hearing what she thought about an Earth wedding ceremony. Major Lorne had saved him nearly as often as Ronon had and if anyone could track her and Beckett down, it would be the two of them.

Elizabeth hadn't finished her thought. Whatever she had meant to say before the alarm had been lost to her worries that followed. Carson and Teyla were part of her expedition; her people. After they went missing, nothing in her life mattered. No small nuance of emotion that passed between her and her lover could make up for her people being missing.

He wondered sometimes if that was all he was. If he was just the man in her bed; the man who fathered the child she was terrified of. John smiled softly as he watched Sam and Jack sway to the music and remembered the end of his own wedding. The smell of starch in his dress blues ran through his mind with the trace of perfume he remembered.

He'd been so young then. She'd been young and laughing in his arms. There was no Replicator fleet bearing down on them. No insane ascended beings taunting their dreams. Back then it had been him and her and the vows of two innocents who thought it would last forever. Maybe that was why it failed. There was nothing more than love between them and they had failed.

Elizabeth's head was heavy and warm in his lap. Her dark hair cascaded down over his thigh and tangled into his hand. He rubbed the back of her head lazily, calming her as she slept. He wondered if she knew he was there; if she was becoming used to his constant presence. He'd given up off-world travel and the dangerous missions that had become his forte. He'd given up his team, traded them for her and the child sleeping within her and she couldn't even meet his eyes and confess her feelings for him. That was assuming she felt anything at all.

Someone touched his shoulder, startling him from his thoughts. Zelenka and Lorne circled around him and Lorne knelt down to his level. "We haven't found them yet, Sir," he whispered.

"Are you continuing the search?" John whispered back. Glancing down at Elizabeth, he wondered if she would forgive him for not waking her.

Lorne nodded and Zelenka added gruffly; "We're waiting for the computer to sort out the rest of the possible gate addresses." He explained softly. "Thought we'd get something to eat..."

"...was it a good wedding, Sir?" Lorne wondered in a more personal tone. Addressing his commander out of uniform at a party didn't count as a formal situation, and he watched the colonel start to smile.

"Yeah," John explained contentedly. "Everyone really enjoyed it."

"It was short then, Sir?" Lorne teased, remembering how apprehensive John had been about attending earlier that day.

"Elizabeth does a nice wedding," John replied as he stretched his shoulders as carefully as he could. Part of his back was starting to go numb from the way he was sitting, but he couldn't bring himself to wake her. "She's probably going to be booked solid after this one," he guessed with a soft smile. "It'll be the middle of next year before we get a name for the baby worked out."

"The baby?" Zelenka tightened his forehead in thought for a moment, his eyes wandered down Elizabeth's sleeping form and he remembered. "Right," he answered himself in a strained whisper. "Doctor Weir must need her sleep."

"I don't know if I can move her without waking her up," John confessed sheepishly. "I thought maybe she'd wake up eventually..." he met Major Lorne's shy smile.

"I could help you, Sir, if you promise she won't hold it against me," Lorne offered as he squared his feet beneath him.

Zelenka held his finger over his lips and nodded. "Won't say a word," he promised innocently.

Lorne's strong hands slipped beneath Elizabeth's back and he pulled her in towards his chest before he stood up. He bit his lip for a moment, breathing out as the weight bore down on his legs. John slipped from the bench and stretched his arms and back, twisting for a moment before he turned back to his second-in-command.

"I've got her," Lorne promised, trying not to think about the look Elizabeth would give him if she woke up in his arms. "Take your time," he assured John, thinking he'd probably get stuck with kitchen duty for a month. She moaned slightly, turning her head closer in to his shoulder. He remembered being able to tell as a child which parent carried him in from the car by the scent and wondered if she tell him from John in the same fashion.

John rolled his neck over his shoulders and tried to ease the tension from his body. "She's been asleep for over an hour," he explained gently as he tried to coax the stiffness out. "I was talking to Jeannie and Rodney. Jeannie was joking about Maddie falling asleep in Rodney's arms, and then she got to tease me for Elizabeth."

"It's late," Lorne allowed quietly in Elizabeth's defense. He shifted Elizabeth's arm, keeping it from being pined to his chest. It went without saying among his men that she was entirely out of reach. Firstly because of her position, and then later when the military started to notice the way their colonel looked at her. He shuffled his feet, finding the most comfortable way to stand. He'd seen the way she looked when he didn't come home and he had lost count of the times he'd been pulled from his mission to find Sheppard's team on some forsaken, dangerous world. His mother had said love was knowing that someone's waiting for you to come home. It had always been his father as a child who waited for his wife to return.

"Rodney was worried about her," Zelenka remembered as he watched John shake out his arms. "He kept wondering if she was getting enough sleep. He can really be quite thoughtfully, in his way..."

John grinned secretively. "Don't tell him that," he interjected quickly. "It'll go to his head," he teased. He stretched his arms once more and walked over to the major. "Okay," he requested gently. "Thank you, Major."

Lorne transferred the sleeping weight of his expedition leader into the arms of his commanding officer. Elizabeth stirred again, but as he adjusted her up against his chest she quieted. He watched the look of relief pass over John's face. "All part of the service, Sir," he offered softly.

Zelenka's lips twitched in amusement. "We'll report when we know more," he assured the colonel. "The computer should be done with the sorting of gate addresses soon."

"We're letting the team get some sleep, Sir," Lorne whispered when Zelenka looked to him. "We thought we'd gate out after the battle and plan on using New Athos as a base of operations."

"Okay," John agreed with a slight nod. His arms were already feeling the strain on his muscles. "I'll expect your report in the morning, eleven hundred?"

"Yes Sir," Lorne replied easily, burying his smirk. Elizabeth would have expected his report by nine or ten. John was much more lenient, and he suspected, just as tired as she was.

"Think they're alright?" Zelenka wondered as he watched his leaders disappeared into the darkness of the hallway.

"As much as any of us," Lorne replied calmly. "Come on, let's go check the computer and get to sleep before we have to fight the good fight against the Replicators."

"You did say sleep in there somewhere, didn't you?"

---

Carson spat blood out on the floor of the jumper and mentally catalogued his injuries. The blinding pain in his ribs was the most excruciating, but hardly the most dangerous of his injuries. The dark spot in the left of his vision was growing, starting to creep across all of one eye. He hadn't paid much attention during the last seminar he'd attended on how to best reattach a retina. There'd been a lovely redhead on his left and the prospect of her smile had been much more intriguing than the discussion of retinal sheering. Hoping Doctor Wallace or Doctor Biro were more current on the technique, Carson turned his pounding head towards his attacker.

Teyla sat hunched near the rear hatch of the jumper. Something was coming for her. Sometimes she babbled to herself, falling into moments of complete incoherence. Her hair was a tangled mess that fell over her face. She had been herself enough to know he could fly the jumper, but there was little more than that. She beat him when he argued with her.

The swollen knot of flesh on his chest was from the one moment he tried to resist. The at least two of the ribs beneath were broken. His lung ached with each breath, but it didn't gurgle in his chest; his injuries would still heal. Teyla's eyes had gone black hours ago. He wasn't sure what had started the transformation, perhaps it was part of her Wraith DNA, but something within her was changing.

The last time she'd touched him her skin had been cold and clammy like the Wraith arm he had kept in his laboratory in the city. Carson pulled the silver emergency blanket tighter around his shoulders and wondered how cold it was on the planet she'd dragged him to. He didn't have enough internal injuries to be in shock, and the snow on the window of the jumper was oddly beautiful. It had been a long time since he'd seen snow. Carson smiled slightly before the dried blood on his swollen lips stopped the motion.

She hadn't said when she was letting him go. Teyla hadn't eaten, or let him eat anything. Carson wasn't sure it occurred to her that she still needed food. He moved his arm, reaching out painfully for the power bars in the emergency kit. His cold fingers fumbled with the wrapper and when he finally opened it the vanilla flavor of the bar was mixed with the blood in his mouth.

He could hear Teyla moving around the rear of the cabin, but it was warmer in the front. He'd never seen her like this; prowling like an animal as she waited for something. Light poured in through the front window of the jumper, bathing him in a bluish glow. It was what she was waiting for. He turned painfully in his chair to watch her running out towards the light. Something cold twisted his stomach and Carson realized the half-heard voices outside the jumper were Wraith.

He slapped anxiously at the dashboard, activating the cloak just as the Wraith patrols walked by in the swirling snow. Teyla was with them, her dark eyes searching the area for a moment. She pointed back towards the light, not even feeling the cold on her bare skin, and the Wraith guards hurried to obey. A moment later she was in the jumper behind him. She moved impossibly quickly now. He could feel the slight warmth of her breath on his neck.

"Michael," Teyla choked on the word, clearing her throat before she continued, "Wanted to kill you." Her hand closed around his shoulder, softer than she'd touched him since she'd taken him. "Get out of here," she ordered in a hiss. "Wait; then go..."

For a moment her eyes looked nearly brown again.

"...don't come after me," Teyla whispered as firmly as she could. "Not Ronon, not John...don't let anyone..." She shuddered, nearly falling to the floor of the jumper as pain lanced through her head. When she stood up again she was all Wraith. Carson remembered the buzzing feeling of the Queen's presence from the time she'd been in his lab in the city.

Teyla's eyes were jet black and her cinnamon skin was greenish and pale in the weak light. "Goodbye Doctor," she said menacingly. "Be thankful Teyla's will is as strong as my desire to see you dead."

"Michael?" he asked insanely. He knew the accent, even if it came from her mouth. "Let her go, Lad..."

More pain in the back of his head, and then quiet darkness fell all around him.

---

Elizabeth clung to the control panel in front of her as the entire city shook. Weapons fire lanced orange off the shields and bathed the room in light before it dissipated.

"Shields holding at ninety percent," Zelenka reported from one of the computers. "We managed to block some of the fire."

"And the Odyssey?" Elizabeth bit her lip as Rodney looked up from his displays.

He didn't have a poker face, even in the midst of a battle. "There aren't any power readings..." he trailed off and stared down at his controls. "We have to shut down the weapons platform on the planet. Our ships can't take that kind of bombardment."

Elizabeth nodded, reaching for her earpiece. "John, did you hear that?"

---

Far below the control center, John heard her voice cut through the haze of the city's navigational systems. He could see it all in his mind. The Artemis and the Daedalus were safe behind the bubble of the Atlantis city-ship's shields. Nothing the Asurans had been able to throw at him had even made much of a dent yet.

"The Asgard weapon is still charging," John reported back up to Elizabeth. His voice sounded a million kilometers away, as if someone else was using it. "Just a few more minutes," he lost interest in speaking as an Asuran battleship challenged the city. Using the beam weapons, blue light lanced out and bored through the enemy ship's shields. In a stunning display of power, he ripped through their hull and cut into their power core. The explosion followed a microsecond later.

---

In the control center, Elizabeth covered her eyes as the blinding white explosion of another Asuran ship blasted through the room. "General..."

"We're okay," Jack's voice crackled over the intercom. "We were hoping to get close enough to take some fire off the Odyssey..." he paused as something exploded in the background. Elizabeth could hear the crackling of sparks. "We got a little banged up, but we're alright."

"Colonel Caldwell?" she continued her rounds, making sure what was left of her fleet was all accounted for.

"The Daedalus is fine, Atlantis," Caldwell promised grimly over the radio. "Sheppard put the city right between us and that platform."

"Why the hell didn't we see that coming?" Elizabeth hissed over at Rodney. His fingers flew over the console and quiet resignation overtook his usual bravado.

"The power cells must be shielded somehow," Rodney explained quietly. His quiet expression was entirely too serious. "It didn't look like a weapon...I thought they might be launching a city ship..." he stumbled over the words.

Elizabeth patted his shoulder. He did his best.

"They took out the Odyssey's shields in one shot...even with a ZPM," Zelenka murmured behind him. "We've never even seen that kind of power, Doctor Weir; none of us."

"The Daedalus and the Artemis are both safely behind our shields?" she double checked before she could lose any more precious lives. Everyone around her nodded in agreement.

The lights in the control center dimmed for a moment. John's voice carried across the radio into her ear. "I'm firing the Asgard weapon; everyone might want to hang on..."

---

The entire city jerked as if it had impacted hard against something. The lights stayed weak and grew dimmer as he continued to fire. From his place in the chair John saw the wave of light begin as a point on the planet's surface before it began to expand outward. He could feel the vibrating of the city around him as most of the power of all three ZPMs went into blasting the Asuran home world out of existence.

"The field needs to cover the entire planet," Rodney reminded him excitedly through his comm.

John nodded up towards the ceiling, feeling the struggle between weapons and shields in the power systems of the city. He stole power from everywhere else, taking the systems offline one by one in his head.

---

Up in the control center, the lights went out completely. Rodney pulled up his hands. "Sheppard's taking all of the power," he explained defensively as Elizabeth looked at him. "That damn weapon will cut through our shields if he doesn't."

Zelenka nodded sagely behind Rodney's head. "I suggest you hang onto something," he reminded them just in time. The inertial dampeners had been sacrificed in favor of the shields and only Rodney flattening her against the console kept Elizabeth from being knocked from her feet. In the darkness, the orange light from the planet's defense made the city look like it was bathed in fire.

Rodney kept his arm around her back, and didn't move away from her body. In John's absence, he seemed determined to protect her. The city rocked with a deep shaking that made her teeth chatter in her head. The orange light left them in darkness again as the Asurans recharged and prepared to fire again.

---

Down below, John watched the energy wave grow like a flower on the surface of Asura. Covering the whole planet was the only way to make sure every nanite was destroyed. It was beautiful as the energy pulsed outward like a living thing. It was going too slowly. The energy wave would take too long to encompass the planet, John realized. If Atlantis' shields faltered, the Asuran weapon would certainly destroy both the Artemis and the Daedalus.

Slowly, he began to draw power from the shields. Voices demanded to know what he was doing, but it took all of his concentration to maintain the fragile balance of energy. One wrong move and more power than anyone in the city understood would explode outward, bursting conduits like a hundred dams. Right now the Asgard weapon needed the power, sucking everything he could give it like a starving creature.

Turning all the shields towards the planet, he forced himself to speak. "I had to divert from the shields," John called up towards the ceiling. "They'll protect the city and our ships from that weapon, but not much else." There were still nine Replicator warships out there. Three of them were bigger than anything he'd seen of Asuran technology so far.

"We hear you, Sheppard," Jack's voice drifted through from the Artemis. "Carter and Caldwell will just have to keep the little ones off your back while you fry the planet."

The space battle went on as a dance in the corner of his mind. As the energy wave continued to expand across the surface of the planet, the vicious orange beam of the Asuran weapon burned into the shields covering the belly of the city. He could almost feel the energy of it in his back, as if a grenade had gone off beneath him. The weapon on the planet fired again, testing the edges of the shield.

The Daedalus skirted the edge of the safe zone, locked in combat with one of the largest warships. The Daedalus helm tried to stay safely inside, but some kind of concussive charge knocked it back. The warship followed, blasting away at the careening vessel.

John felt the weapon fire before he saw it. The Asuran gunner had the Daedalus and he knew it. As if he were reaching out a hand, John stretched the protective bubble of the shields outward and caught the Daedalus like a ball in his hand. For a moment, he sighed in relief as the Artemis swept in to devastate the warship. In that moment, fire from the planet blasted through the south pier of the city. In the chair it was hard to separate himself from the city. He felt the blast as if it had slammed into his leg.

Atlantis bled air and debris. The jumper teams scrambled from the bay, intent on sealing the breach. The south pier was mostly empty; everyone had been evacuated to the very center of the city. Fallout from the explosions ran through the pier. Power conduits ruptured before he could shut them down. The overload rushed up towards the control tower. John finally cut off the cascading energy by letting one of the vents explode outward instead of running back up to the people in control.

On the planet, the field of blue energy continued to expand, reaching out to cover more and more of the surface. The huge weapons platform on the planet fired once more before going silent as the wave passed over it.

Pulling the last of the power away from the shields, John coaxed the blue energy field around the planet into a bubble, washing away everything that was left on Asura. He pictured the silver dust left behind drifting on the wind. One of the battleships left in orbit started to fire and he watched the Artemis intercept them with a wave of missiles. In a few seconds, that ship too was destroyed. Feeling the final blast scorch the belly of the city, he hoped everyone above him was safe.

"General O'Neill, Colonel Caldwell," he caught them both on the comm. "The planet has been neutralized; feel free to leave the city-shield."

"Acknowledged," Caldwell returned quickly.

"Good work," General O'Neill replied cheerfully. "And good hunting."

John concentrated on bringing other systems back online. The Asgard weapon stopped rumbling deep in his mind and went quiet.

---

Up in the control room the lights came on through a haze of smoke. Elizabeth stared up at the apologetic face of Rodney over her and reached up to his shoulder. He stared down at her, sheepishly looking at the hand covering her slightly rounded belly before he pulled it away.

"I'm alright," she promised softly. He was heavy against her and she could smell the nervous sweat on his neck. The wall behind them had exploded outward with energy, if Rodney hadn't been so quick to knock her down Elizabeth would have certainly spent some time in the infirmary.

He climbed to his feet and offered his hand down to her. Tackling her to the floor seemed a little overprotective in hindsight. "Sorry, I heard the sparks, thought you shouldn't..."

Elizabeth's wave cut off his apology. "Thank you," she replied gently. "Is everyone alright?"

Blood ran down Charles' face from a nasty cut on his forehead, but his expression was resolute. Walter had caught some of the sparks, and his t-shirt bore the scorched marks to prove it. Both of them just nodded and went back to their stations.

"I'm okay, Rodney, really," Elizabeth promised again as the city shook beneath their feet. He held onto her arm until the shaking stopped.

"Right," he replied softly before turning back to his controls. "There are only dormant power signatures coming from the planet," he reported and looked up, suddenly grinning. "I think it worked."

"How many ships are left?" Elizabeth asked hopefully. The planet had been defeated, but the fleet had been extensive at the beginning of the battle.

"Eight," Rodney reported as he shared a glance with Zelenka. "We've already destroyed six of them..."

"Seven," Walter corrected as another ship exploded into a ball of white flames and sparkling metal. "The Artemis got another one."

"Two points for Carter..." Zelenka noted from behind her. Elizabeth pursed her lips and decided she didn't want to know what parts of her staff were scoring their space battles.

"John?" she tapped her radio and pictured him sitting in the chair with his eyes closed.

"The Asgard weapon is recharging," he reported in the distant tone he always took in the control chair. "I'll try to take some of them intact."

Elizabeth looked over Rodney's shoulder and watched as the Artemis and the Daedalus took out another Replicator ship. In the middle of the battle, the dead husk of the Odyssey hung lifeless in space. Fifty precious lives had been lost in one shot of the enemy weapon.

Rodney followed her gaze. "We didn't know," he tried to reassure her. "It could have just as easily been the Daedalus or the Artemis that was closest to the planet when they fired."

Elizabeth didn't dare tell him how glad she was the Artemis had survived. Losing Jack and Sam in their moment of happiness would have been more of a blow to morale than the city could stand. As it was she had another funeral to plan. Another fifty names to commit to the status 'deceased' in her logs. Touching her eyes to prevent the tears from coming, Elizabeth turned back to the battle. Life went on.

John crawled out of the chair six hours after the fleet had dropped out of hyper-space in orbit of Asura. He stumbled on caught the arm of the chair before lowering himself to the floor. Leaning back against the edge he tried to remind his body how to function without the city. He could still feel the tingling sensation of hyperspace travel.

The salvage teams had finally finished. Three more Replicator battleships had landed on the intact piers of the city. The Artemis and the Daedalus were flying under their own power, but none of the stolen replicator ships had been capable of flight. He was already five minutes late for the debriefing. Elizabeth already had another set of memorials to plan, if she ever gave herself the time to do so. The names of the dead were already blurred together in his mind.

He dragged himself to his feet, feeling the aching muscles of his body protest being used again. His back burned and the emptiness in his stomach he'd ignored for the last five hours demanded his attention.

Rodney would have food, John realized with a half-smile. There would be food at the meeting if he got himself up there. The hallway swam in front of his vision. He clung to the wall for a moment and then found his feet. He'd have to ask Carson about the seemingly inevitable hangover that followed after he was in the chair longer than a few hours.

He was waiting for the transporter when he remembered Carson was missing. He'd have to ask Simon, or wait for Carson to return. Waiting for Carson to return seemed like the better option; he still couldn't look at Simon without wanting, on a primitive level, to just smack him. He should be getting better, becoming more accepting of Elizabeth's past.

Simon nearly walked into him as John stepped out of the transporter.

"Sorry," John apologized quickly. There was nothing, but polite concern in the other man's eyes and he reminded himself that Elizabeth had loved this man. He had to be a good person. He gave in and let Simon help him regain his balance. "The chair gives me a bit of a hangover," he admitted when Simon's gaze turned professionally concerned. "Like too many drinks on an empty stomach."

"I'll check you out when I get a chance," Simon stopped nervously, "I mean, if that's okay with you."

John scratched his fingers through his hair and nodded sheepishly. "Okay," he agreed softly. "How were the casualties?"

"Fairly light," Simon replied with a sigh of relief. "The infirmary has a few burn victims, some people who got to close to an explosive decompression. The battle went fairly well, didn't it?" He watched the haunted look in John's eyes and corrected himself. "Other than the Odyssey, I mean," Simon hurried to add.

"This is war, Doctor," John explained as he circled the table towards his chair at Elizabeth's side. "If something good happens, don't argue with it."

Simon walked past him towards the end of the table. He'd never had to attend one of these briefings before. Doctor Coleman had volunteered to go in his place, but when Elizabeth radioed the infirmary she'd asked for him. Doctor Jackson slyly patted the table next to him.

"Doctor Wallace?" he asked expectantly.

Simon extended his hand quickly. "Yes, thank you," he replied as he shook the hand and sat. "I'm sorry though, you are?"

"Daniel Jackson," Daniel offered pleasantly. "Don't worry; Jack's the only one you really need to worry about."

General O'Neill tapped his hand on the table, quietly bringing the meeting to order. "I'll be blunt," he began, "Colonel Emerson was a good man with a fine crew and we all feel their loss." He paused a moment, looking around the table before he continued. "But this is not the time. We have three new ships. McKay, what's their status?"

"The largest one will take a bit longer to repair than the other two," Rodney explained as he called up the schematics on the screen behind him. "It's a Dreadnought, easily twice the size of the Artemis, no offense Colonel Carter," he paused for a moment as Sam shook her head and smiled. "It takes two ZPMs to power it, and as far as I can tell, it is the second largest ship in this galaxy..."

"...a few of these were probably used to destroy Earth," Zelenka interrupted when Rodney failed to say it. "Along with the Replicator's city-ship."

"Their version of the Atlantis city-ship was not on the planet," Teal'c confirmed. "Though ground teams were able to recover many crates of small arms and a total of seven ZPMs, most of the Replicator technology is useless to our purposes."

"Many of their devices emit too much radiation to be safe for human use," Zelenka explained as Rodney nodded.

"Their hand-held weapons are fairly simple to use and rather powerful," Rodney added optimistically. "The ground-based weapon that destroyed the Odyssey is in a class of energy weapons I had pervious thought were too unstable to exist. It needs to draw energy directly from subspace and produces enough exotic particles to destroy this entire solar system..."

"...why they were even using it is entirely beyond us," Zelenka piped up as he shook his head. "It is possible it was just a prototype, something they were developing and planned to use against us at a later time...."

"...what Zelenka is saying," Rodney interrupted firmly, "Is that we're all lucky to be sitting here. I suggest getting to a safe distance and using a controlled overload to destroy the planet."

"Rodney," Elizabeth's tone warned, "Destroy the planet?" Her lips thinned. "You just said that weapon produced enough exotic particles to put this entire system in danger."

"We can't chance anyone else finding it," John explained darkly as he leaned back in his chair. "We were tempted to take it, imagine something like this in the hands of the Genii, or the Wraith..."

"How far is far enough?" Jack asked practically. "Outside the solar system?"

"Maybe farther," Rodney clarified with deep apprehension. "Even a controlled overload will destroy everything within three billion kilometers of the planet."

"Scorch the fields and salt the earth?" Daniel wondered philosophically as Jack shrugged.

"Sometimes the Romans really had things right," Jack agreed with a slight sarcastic smile. The general forward, resting his arms on the table as he looked over all the grim faces around him.

"Actually there's a lot of debate whether or not they did that," Daniel replied as he straightened his glasses. "Salt would have been very expensive..."

"...okay, so we back off from the planet and destroy the weapon," John dragged the conversation back to the topic. "Wait," he turned over to Rodney, "Why aren't we destroying it from orbit?"

"Destroying it will just trigger the chain reaction," Rodney explained irritably. "This weapon is a menace; it should never have been created."

Jack tapped the table again to draw attention back to the point. "Destroy the system," he noted easily. "Doctors...what's the damage report on the city?"

"The South pier is in rough shape," Rodney started with a heavy sigh. Zelenka called up the schematic of the damage and began the dire explanation of what they'd need to do to put the city right again.

---

*~

Elizabeth's back hurt. Hitting the floor had been harder on her than she'd felt at the time, and the ache had been building since the battle. She sat back against the wall. It didn't matter if it was already past midnight and he'd lecture her when he came back; she needed to wait.

Ronon's proposal lay open on her computer in front of her. He'd really gone to a lot of trouble to meet the formal requirements she held her scientists to. Elizabeth couldn't help wondering if he'd had some assistance with the Earth-based formatting. That distraction only helped her avoid thinking about the heart of the proposal as she squirmed in the bed.

The ache in her back shot pain up her spine like fingers of electricity. She crossed her legs and leaned forward until it eased. Rodney had tried to get her to join the mass of people filing in and out of the infirmary but she'd avoided the subject. As far as she had been able to tell when she stripped out of her uniform all she had were a few bruises waiting beneath the skin. She didn't need to take time away from people with real injuries. With Carson missing, doctors were in short supply.

Elizabeth dragged her itchy eyes back down to the computer in front of her. Ronon's initial suggestion was concise and to the point; the rest of his report only detailed how he would carry it out. She was stuck on his thesis:

"The civilians from Earth need immediate military training," Elizabeth murmured aloud. Thinking for a moment, she tossed the computer angrily towards the end of the bed. It wasn't Ronon's fault. He brought valiant attention to something everyone from Earth seemed to be trying desperately to avoid. These people were refugees, she reminded herself as she rubbed at the dull ache in her forehead.

How many times had she delivered crates of weapons to refugees on other worlds? How many shipments of food and medical supplies had been sent to people displaced by the Wraith so they could rebuild and continue to fight for their survival? The cold knot in her stomach insisted over and over that Ronon was right.

No one had the option of simply being a refugee anymore. The three weeks since Earth had been laid to waste were more time than anyone in the war-torn Pegasus galaxy was usually allowed to grieve. The signs were all around her. The ships sitting patiently on the piers of the city didn't need parts, or power supplies to function; they needed personnel. The Dreadnought alone would need at least a hundred hands.

Leaning back until her tired eyes stared up at the quiet ceiling, Elizabeth sighed as the lead weight settled over her chest. "He's right," she reminded herself. Even in the darkest parts of his report, Ronon was right. A child could be taught to fire a hand-held stunner as soon as their hands could hold the grip. Teenagers were responsible enough to trust on ships.

The churning of her stomach was a mess of guilt and hormones. She'd talked Niam into leaving his people. She'd turned him into the monster that led the attack on Earth. Elizabeth stumbled slightly as she left the bed. She stood in the middle of their quarters for a moment and tried to convince her stomach to retain her supper.

She started to cry as she began retching. She'd been toying happily with the idea of introducing John to her mother on the next trip to SGC. Her mother would have met them in Colorado. Her eyes would have glowed with pride when the shock of becoming a grandmother had finally worn off. Barely digested bread slid mushily over her tongue as she spat it up into the toilet.

She rolled away from it, reaching up to flush the mess as tears ran rebelliously down her face. There would be no moments with her mother explaining to her that the changes in her body were nothing to fear. There would be no shared stories, no new history written between them. There was only the invisible life inside of her that she understood as poorly as she'd managed Rodney's first explanation of the quantum physics of wormhole theory.

Staring down at her own stomach, Elizabeth watched tears disappear into the black fabric of her stolen t-shirt. The dampness of them brought out the smell of John left in it. John was with her. In the darkness ahead of her, he would be with her. Her crying slowed as she stood up. Staring at the glass door of the shower in the half-light, Elizabeth pulled up John's shirt.

Her belly was only rounded outward a handful of centimeters, but she barely recognized it as her own. Running her hand slowly down her skin, she looked deeply at her own reflection. Elizabeth wasn't sure when she’d been outside. Her face was closer to white than pink. She hadn't even told John about the sudden recurrence of her nausea. He had enough to worry about. Sighing as she splashed cold water on her face, she leaned heavily against the sink.

The city had enough water, she reassured herself. The great tanks still held enough water to meet their needs for the next three months. Food was greater on her list of worries. The Athosians had been more than gracious but they could not continue to support the refugees. Nothing in her life had prepared her for this, she'd negotiated for the safety and care of refugees fleeing totalitarian regimes and natural catastrophes, but they had never been her refugees. The people of Atlantis were her people on the brink of a thousand terrible fates; her team stood between all that was left of Earth and lasting oblivion.

Turning from the sink, she vomited again. Her stomach heaved inside her ribs, leaving her gasping for air as the chill of the floor crept into her legs.

---

*~

"Mind if I?" Simon asked as he pointed at his bowl of stew.

"No," John replied with quietly pulling himself up onto the bed in the infirmary. "It's hard to fit the time in to do anything around here."

"I don't think I've been this busy since I was an intern," Simon mused as he took a few bites and activated the scanner. "Any headaches?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary," John sighed and scratched the back of his head. "You don't think the chair's doing something?"

"I'm afraid this Ancient technology's mostly Greek to me," Simon offered apologetically as he waited for the scanner to finish. "Carson's been trying to teach me, but I couldn't even get my computer to turn on reliably back home, Elizabeth used to always..."

For a moment the air was thick and cold between them. John felt his throat tighten while the embarrassed flush crept across the other man's face.

"...I didn't mean to," Simon struggled somewhere between apology and something darker.

"She's good with things," John bridged the gap between them with a faint smile. "Sometimes she actually understands what Rodney's talking about."

"You must love her," Simon said abruptly staring John down over his empty bowl. "It's nearly impossible not to," he added softly. "She got into parts of my heart I wasn't entirely sure I had." Running his hand nervously through his hair, he rubbed his hand against his white coat before extending it to John. "You'll take care of her," it wasn't a question.

John shook off the hazy feeling in his head before reaching out to take Simon's hand in friendship. "She does," he paused hesitating with the heat of Simon's hand in his palm. The other man's eyes were resolute and warm. He managed a wry smile before taking his hand back to rest in his lap. "She always keeps her eyes on me."

"Good," Simon replied simply. "Your electrolytes are off," he reported as he set his bowl down and turned his full attention to the display. "Here's the problem," he tapped a graph and a set of mysterious numbers. "Some neurotransmitters are severely depleted while others are elevated. It looks like the most serious shortage is in your motor cortex." Drumming his fingers on the table next to display, he knit his eyebrows thoughtfully. "How do you move the city?" he asked finally. "Do you consciously think about it? Or just move it like it was a part of you?"

"Somewhere between," John answered with a shrug. "To be honest I don't really think about it much."

"Your brain wasn't designed to run a city several kilometers across, much less fly it through space," Simon paused with a slight smile, "Though it is trying."

"So?" John waited, trying to understand what Simon was getting at. He moved his hand, trying to get the feeling back into the tips of his fingers as he wiggled them.

"You have mental fatigue," the doctor explained as he sank into his chair. Running his hands briskly across his head, Simon slid his chair back into his desk. "You need sleep; I'm also going to recommend that you limit your time in the chair to four hours before you take a break." He turned back, standing up to turn off the display and start straightening up the infirmary as he had meant to do a long time ago.

"The chair needs to be manned whenever we make a significant course-correction, and through entire battles..." John argued self-sacrificially. "If it's just my reflexes being a little wonky..."

"This could kill you," Simon interrupted as he stared John down. "Just because I can't tell you how, or why it will right now doesn't mean it couldn't. I need time to study it and until I do, you'll need to take it slowly. Switch off with everyone else, try to take turns. Come up with a schedule."

"Make it a hot seat?" John asked with a quiet smile. Staggering off the bed, he grabbed a corner of the desk and straightened himself out when his balance failed to keep him upright. His legs were weaker than he expected.

Simon's eyes flashed knowingly but he politely said nothing. "Something like that," he yawned, covering his mouth for a moment as he waited to regain his ability to speak, "Look, it's late I have a lot of work to do, don't you have something..."

John smirked and tried to come up with a witty comment, but his exhaustion won out. "Like get back to my quarters and try to decide where we're going?" he wondered sardonically.

"You don't know?" Simon asked as his eyes widened in surprise. He studied John's quiet expression for a hint that he was joking. Finding nothing he turned away, faintly stunned. "That'll teach me to ask."

"Welcome to the Pegasus Galaxy, Doc," John finished as he headed for the door.

---

*~

The scent of blood hung in his nostrils, metallic through the frozen air. Ronon's feet crunched through snow across the surface of M32-471. It was the third planet that night, but no one on Major Lorne's team was complaining. Zelenka pointed across the white landscape in front of them, his voice muffled by the dark scarf across his mouth.

"Over there," he yelled hopefully as he peered through the snow. "Energy readings," he explained as he struggled to keep up with Ronon.

This planet was different than the last two; Ronon could feel it in his gut that she had been here. There were no tracks in the snow; no sign of anyone in the icy wilderness, but he knew in the pit of his stomach. His eyes caught the jumper, nearly buried in a drift of snow just as Lorne's voice cut through the wind.

"We've got them," Lorne called into his radio as he followed Ronon's sprint to the craft. Snow flew up behind Ronon's feet, blending in with the rest of the blizzard as he ran through it.

Inside the jumper was silence, the wind howled around them but the jumper was still as death. Carson lay passed out on the console, frost and frozen blood covering the floor beneath him. A silver emergency blanket was around his shoulders, but they were motionless. Ronon just stood at the entrance because it was only Carson.

"Is he alive?" Ronon wondered dully. The wind whistled menacingly around the mental of the jumper as Lorne checked Carson's pulse.

"Pulse is weak, but steady," Lorne reported softly moving Carson's white fingers away from the controls. "The jumper's functional; we should probably get everyone on board, fly him back..."

"Yeah," Ronon agreed without emotion. "Get him home," he repeated reminding himself that there was a slim possibility that Teyla was still on the planet. Wraith had been here to take her; he had been able to smell the frozen traces of them near the gate.

"I got the last set of addresses dialed from the gate," Zelenka promised hopefully trying to cheer Ronon up. "We'll compile a new list; head out as soon as we get a go."

Ronon nodded quickly and turned his attention to the friend he had found. Lorne's medic, Doctor Keller, hurried in with Lieutenant Kunze as the jumper door shut out the snow. He could still see the cloud of vapor formed from his breath as Keller started to check out Carson's injuries. He knew that tight-lipped doctors were a bad sign.

"Doctor?" he prodded as he dropped a hand to her shoulder.

Keller shook her head. "Hypothermia, frostbite on his extremities, abdomen's rigid, his left pupil isn't responding to any stimuli," her voice trailed off ominously. "Help me warm him up..."

Lorne slipped into the pilot's seat and activated the controls. "He deactivated the cloak so we'd find him," he realized as started the flight systems.

"How long ago?" Ronon demanded as he helped Keller try to rub circulation back into Carson's extremities. The little doctor knelt on the floor by his feet and stripped off his shoes.

"Two hours, maybe three by the amount of power drained from the batteries," Lorne reported as the jumper took off. Taking a moment to deal with the shifting winds, he righted the craft and headed for the gate.

Staring across the white flesh at Keller's intent expression, Ronon's concern was silent in his eyes. "How are his feet?"

"As bad as his hands," Keller replied grimly as she started to rub his toes quickly between her hands. "Can we have some more heat Major?"

"Got it," Lorne replied as he maxed out the heating controls and guided the jumper towards the gate. "We'll be home soon."

Looking into Carson's glassy eyes, Ronon hoped it would be soon enough. The hand he held in his own didn't even feel like a living thing; the flesh was so cold it felt like clay in his hands. "What's wrong with his eye?" he wondered. Something in Carson's left eye had stained the pupil, leaving it grey instead of black.

"Retina bleeding," Keller replied softly. "I don't know if we'll be able to fix it, maybe if we had found him a few hours ago..."

"Will he live?" Zelenka asked for everyone in the jumper.

Keller shrank further into the console instinctively before she answered; "I don't know the extent of his injuries, someone's beaten him fairly badly."

"Teyla," Ronon interrupted as he set down Carson's hand on his lap. Running his hands over the bruises on the side of the unconscious man's face, he recognized the pattern left by one of the Athosian maneuvers she'd taught him. He could see where her hands had been and picture the quick snap of her arm as she'd hurt their friend. "The Wraith within her did this."

---

*~

John caught the edge of his doorway gratefully. In his exhaustion the hallway to that point had been longer than he remembered it ever being. The foggy feeling in his extremities had moved upward as the night had gone on and crawling into bed was the best idea he had ever had.

Elizabeth's computer lay open and forgotten on the bed and her shoes were abandoned near the bed on the floor. He dropped to the bed, pulling off his boots without untying them and fell back. John could have fallen asleep then without another thought, but his ears refused to let him.

There was a sound in the bathroom, a quiet, wet sound that cut at his heart. Dragging himself back up to his feet, John crossed the cool floor to the bathroom. She was curled up on the floor, spitting water into the toilet as she washed her mouth out.

"I didn't hear you," Elizabeth began softly as she wiped wet lips on the back of her hand. "When did you?"

He dropped to the floor at her side, leaning back against the wall as he settled. "Just now, don't worry," he reassured her as his slow smile crept across his face. "Rough night?" he wondered.

"I'm sending children for military training," Elizabeth answered grimly without sharing his amusement. "Children, John..."

"...we didn't ask for this war," he reminded her reaching for her shoulder and digging his fingers into it.

"John..." she warned trying to stop him for dredging up the serious side of her worries.

"...we didn't," he interrupted again. "If the Replicators had just said, go away and leave us alone, we would have, but they wanted to blow up the city, they moved on Earth. They tried to wipe us out." Pulling her towards the wall with him, they both relaxed when she snuggled into his chest. "It isn't wrong to teach a child to defend themself. The Athosians, the Genii, and everyone else in this galaxy have been teaching their children to fight for thousands of years. Innocence doesn't have to be ignorance, Elizabeth."

She turned up towards him, looking into his eyes with new respect. "I suppose you're right, we've been sheltered on Earth; all of us sitting at home watching television and worrying about our taxes while the rest of the galaxy was fighting for their lives. It was about time something bad happened to us," she broke off wiping her nose angrily as she sniffed back tears. "Is that what you think?"

Sighing as he touched her face, John shook his head. "War and death are always with us, I think we just need to stop worrying and start living. If we spend our lives teaching our children how to stay away from the business end of a P-90, at least those kids will be around to teach their kids, and someday..."

"...someday," Elizabeth repeated as she swallowed and forced her stomach back into place. "What do we do until then?" she wondered quietly letting him take over.

"I was thinking about going to bed," John offered as he started to stand. "If you’re interested."

"I'm okay,” she insisted as she caught his hand. John was less steady than he'd thought and they both had to cling to the wall. One of her eyes crept upwards in surprised concern. "What about you?"

"Chair hangover," John promised as lightly as he could. She ended up helping him more than he could assist her as they walked to the bed. "Simon says," he paused for a moment, amused as he grinned at the floor, "Sorry."

"I'm glad it's funny to you actually," she replied with the slightest chuckle. "Humor's something hard to get around here. Does this mean you and Simon are..."

"Trying to be grown-ups," John grinned up as she lowered him to the bed, "As best we can."

"Simon and I were..." Elizabeth began without knowing where she was going to finish.

Catching her arm, he pulled her close enough to feel her soft hair fall against his cheek. "You don't have to say anything," he promised as he released her, "I understand."

"I cared about him," she admitted to the wall as she turned her back on the bed. Her tongue felt ill-suited to her mouth and she fought to finish what she was saying.

"I'm not demanding you stop caring..." he offered trying to sound as calm as he could. John couldn't shake the possibility that feelings ran deeper between her and Simon than any of them would ever admit. She might stay with him until their child was born, but after that, he couldn't be sure.

"...but," Elizabeth interrupted him still without turning around. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to find the courage to finish.

"...you don't have to..." he tried to save her keeping her from having to admit anything she wasn't ready to voice.

"Dammit John," Elizabeth snapped as she turned around. She grabbed his shoulders and kept him from standing. "Stop and let just let me..." for a moment she stopped thinking, "I love you."

The most adorable smile spread across his face, lighting green eyes from within as he let the words soak into him. "Well," John swallowed and turned his face into her hand as she nervously stroked his cheek. "I guess that's that then."

"I don't love him," she continued to explain feeling foolishly as if she owed him for his patience. "Not anymore, not after he...I couldn't," she licked her lips and ended up biting her lower one, "I thought maybe I couldn't," she sighed and sank to the bed at his side, "But I do love you."

Quietly studying her face, he rolled up on one elbow. "Yeah," he offered gently, emotion playing lightly across his face. "So, where are we going?" he stopped and something flickered behind his green eyes. "Do you want something more than this?" Elizabeth's finger over his lips cut him off.

"We're okay," she promised with her own trace of a giggle. John struggling against his desire to keep spouting gibberish was really rather attractive and she wondered if he knew it. Elizabeth smiled gently feeling the warmth in her chest. "This is more than I thought I'd have."

"The baby?" he wondered watching her twitch as he mentioned it. His hand crept out, resting on her stomach as she contemplated pulling away.

His hand was warm through her shirt from the alien market. It wasn't quite silk, but it was so much thinner than what she was used to; Elizabeth could feel the tiny movements as he settled his fingers. "I can't say it," she admitted as she nearly choked on her thoughts. "People ask me, and I can't say anything about it. I get caught..."

His hand flew up to her neck, stroking the skin that got too tight whenever she tried to talk about the baby within her. "It's just a baby, not even really that yet, it can't hurt you."

"I could," she argued as she stared down at her body before turning desperately away towards the ceiling.

"You won't," John insisted as he kissed her neck. Soft, warm lips took away the feeling of the walls closing in. Instead of tensing, Elizabeth shivered into his touch and tried to force herself to relax. "Believe me," he suggested as he nibble the skin up to her ear. "Sometimes, I kinda know what I'm talking about."

"You're very wise John, sometimes I think you forget to see that in yourself," she replied softly as her hand found its way up his side, finding the edge of his shirt and diving within. "You spend so much time looking at me," she whispered, nearly forgetting to speak out loud.

John worked his way across her face towards her pale pink lips. "You're beautiful," he insisted as she tried to giggle her way out of it. "I mean that," he affirmed as she started to blush. "Don't you believe..."

"...okay," she agreed softly watching his hand slide back down to her belly. His thumb danced along her breast, teasing the tender flesh beneath her bra. "I believe you," she finished as she lifted her head to look at him.

He chose to follow his hand with his head, moving down her body as ideas blossomed in his mind. "You believe me?"

"Not really," Elizabeth whispered as she ran her hand through his hair. "I'm trying," she defended herself as he kissed his way across her faintly rounded belly.

"This is our child," he insisted with a fervor usually reserved for arguments with Rodney. "Nothing would make you more beautiful," John promised as he rested his head there. "And Doctor Keller said it was okay," he couldn't have discussed it with Simon. There were some things that should never be discussed with an ex.

Elizabeth heard his confidence falter slightly and she shared the thrill of fear. "She did," she repeated knowing she hadn't brought it up. In fact, she'd gone two weeks without one of Carson's required examinations. Keller had promised to make time for her in her schedule, but she hadn't tried to fit it in. There were things she couldn't face yet; ultrasounds and fetal heartbeats were part of that. "Kiss me," she finally begged feeling her body ache beneath his touch. The gray sheets twisted beneath her back, and she bent a knee to lift it from the bed.

John slid quizzically up to her face, capturing her cheek as he stared at her. Her eyelashes were still damp from her time in the bathroom and he wanted to take all the fear from the tightness of her mouth. He rested his hand on the pillow, leaning closer as he felt her breath on his cheek. Kissing her first, he let her lead him into it. Her tongue parted his lips, reminding him she was just as hungry as he was.

"Okay," John answered finally raising his voice to be heard over the panting of his breath.

Elizabeth ripped his black t-shirt up and over his shoulders; shrugging out of it, he grinned wolfishly at her.

"Your turn," he demanded as his hands ran down to her waist. Elizabeth bit her lip as he eased her shirt up over her belly. John's eyes stayed focused, calm and full of desire as he studied her skin. "You're going to be gorgeous when you hit the glowing part everyone talks about," he ventured innocently.

Sitting up to help him get her shirt over her head, Elizabeth started to protest when he kissed her. "I don't know..." she sputtered through his lips.

He started to chuckle, caught up in the joy of the white flesh beneath her pale blue bra. Stopping for a moment, he studied the lace and titled his head in confusion. "This is new," he said searching for the clasp on her back.

"Carter," Elizabeth explained softly as she helped him peel it from her skin. "The black one got tight and she had a couple."

John's lips twitched and for a moment he wondered if his commanding officer had taken this bra off of his wife. He shook his head and decided to leave that idea alone. "This one's better?"

Resting a hand on his naked chest, she smiled softly in return. "It works," she answered shyly as he ran his fingers beneath her growing breasts.

"I like them better without anything," he teased with a kiss on her left breast.

"They're sore without anything," she argued burying her fingers in his unruly dark hair.

"I'll have to work on that," John growled playfully bending her back to the bed. She reached up for his pants and laughed as he kissed her attention away with a warm tongue on her nipple. Gasping in surprise, she missed him undoing his pants as he got ready to stand up and leave them on the floor. Stumbling slightly as he left the bed, John remembered his reflexes were still suffering.

He shuffled out of his pants anyway and turned his attention to hers. Elizabeth grabbed the simple blue blanket and held it against her chest as she propped herself up to watch him. They slid easily over her hips and he planted a kiss on the curving bone. "Have I mentioned how much I like you naked?" John purred as he crept beneath the blanket with her.

Laughing as she moved over to let him into the bed, Elizabeth felt his knee slip in between her legs. John's body was so hot next to hers that his skin nearly burned. He caught her waist, rolling her up over him.

"Maybe once or twice," Elizabeth replied breathily as she ran her hands down across his stomach. "You know, this is how we got into this mess."

"This mess is beautiful," he said pulling her down against him. His erection was firm against her stomach as she ground her way up his legs to grab his face. Her fingers brushed against fresh stubble and Elizabeth saw truth in his eyes.

"You really believe..." she started to whisper as she kissed him again, "...I think that's why I love you."

The admission he barely heard was the sexiest thing anyone had ever said to him, and she didn't give him time to think before she surrounded him with hot, wet Elizabeth. John watched her eyes roll in her head before he forced himself to concentrate. It had been awhile, but not long enough for him to explode inside of her like a trigger-happy teenager. He wondered if she was rushing because she was nervous, the pale flush was still on her cheeks.

Elizabeth rocked above him, feeling the pressure of him draw a moan from her throat. He was struggling, forcing his body to behave. His hands on her breasts were almost more than she could handle in their current state. Every movement of his fingers felt like he was shouting in her mind as her nerves jangled. Shivering in his hands, she rocked faster; wanting him to enjoy it.

One of his hands held the small of her back, but the other insisted on reaching around towards her clit. His finger was rough at first, then delicious as it rolled over her. Elizabeth moaned again and caught his smirk out of the corner of her eye. Leaning down to kiss his neck, she felt herself start to give in. Her body trembled in his hands and she bit down on his lip. John bit back, fighting his way into her mouth as he pushed deeper into her.

Too quickly, she came around him. The sheer force of her orgasm shocked her eyes closed, shaking her away from his lips to gaps into his neck. Surprised that he'd outlasted her by so much, he asked her permission to finish with a hand on her butt. She whispered something he didn't hear into his neck, but she rocked in rhythm with him. Absently, John wondered when they'd gotten so used to each other as her small fingers teased his chest.

A gasp and a shudder ran through his chest, panting he kissed her neck and tasted sweat. She stayed slumped over him, not bothering to extract him from her as she clung to him.

"See that wasn't so bad..." he began to tease. The face in his neck was suddenly cool and new wetness on his skin wasn't from sweat. "Elizabeth?"

Her name caught on his tongue, like it always did, and she clung tighter to his chest. John wondered if he should get used to her tears, then he wondered if it was just the pregnancy. "You okay?" he asked in his softest tone.

"Yes," she stuttered lifting her head from his neck. "I'm okay. Everything just sets me off lately," she mused apologetically. "You, you're, incredible, John..."

He grinned proudly, as if he'd known all along. "Good," he stroked damp curls of her hair down to her neck. "I mean, I strive for incredible..."

She kissed his cheek as she left the bed for the bathroom. John pushed the blanket down to his waist and let the air dry his sweat. A moment later she was back in his arms and wedged so tightly against him that they could have shared a smaller bed.

"I think you've accomplished your goals," Elizabeth teased him in her professional tone. That voice surprised him, and he jumped against his pillow just enough to make her smile.

"I love you," he finished simply. "I'll do anything..."

Elizabeth sat up, ignoring the way her hair tickled as it fell across her damp skin. "I'll meet you halfway, John. I really want this...us...to work. I don't know how this is even right..." she licked her lips nervously and contemplated pacing the room.

John's hand on her arm kept her in bed with him.

"I need this...you...us," she finally finished. "More than I think I can tell you," Elizabeth rested her hand on his chest as she tried to make her heart beat slower. "This baby needs you," the cold feeling in her stomach warmed when he took her hand.

"You have me," he promised as he encouraged her back into his arms. Lying with her head on his chest, Elizabeth closed her eyes and let herself forget everything screaming in the back of her mind. There was no Atlantis, no missing Teyla or kidnapped Carson, and no refugees ready to riot for more clothing and food. Instead, there was John's hand on her belly and the child sleeping within her. For that moment, she forgot to be afraid of anything.

---

*~

"Could you?" Doctor Keller asked desperately as she stared at Simon over Carson's unconscious body. "I've heard of it being done, but I don't think I could do it. I interned in surgery, but I never did eyes."

"I think I can reattach the retina, but he has vitreous bleeding," Simon sighed heavily and rested a hand on Carson shoulder. The man had been so kind to him, so careful while he explained how the world worked in the Pegasus galaxy. How could he explain that he'd never see out of his left eye again? "The fluid's too contaminated, he'll never see anything more than a blur."

"He's not going to be able to do surgery without depth perception," Keller reminded him painfully. "He'll be diagnostic only and he's the best surgeon we have..."

"...we'll have to make do," Simon reminded her pragmatically. "He's alive. His fingers and toes are going to survive their frostbite without nerve damage. The internal injuries will heal; we've both seen a lot worse come through that door." He pointed back at the door to the infirmary. "We'll make do, Carson can..."

"...handle it," Keller finished for him as she dropped her head in defeat. "Do you want me to tell him?"

"I'll stay with him," Simon offered quietly. "He's seen me through a great deal." He pulled his chair over to the desk and tossed his feet up onto it. "Any sign of Teyla?"

Keller shook her head darkly and fought angry tears. "The Wraith took her, Ronon and Major Lorne's team are going to keep looking," she took a deep breath and finished, "But I don't know where they have left to look. Doctor Zelenka said something about the crystals..."

Simon shared her confusion; he hadn't even been off-world yet and wasn't sure he was ready for that step. "Elizabeth asked me to join Colonel Mitchell's team when they need a doctor."

"Colonel Mitchell's a good man," Keller offered with a tiny smile. "Weird sense of humor," she finished as she tightened her eyebrows in thought. "You'll be okay."

"That seems to be the motto around here," Simon said thoughtfully as he reached for his bottle of water. "We'll be okay."

"Maybe we should put it above the door?" Keller ventured optimistically as she started towards the exit of the infirmary. "I'm going to go meet the major for a really late dinner, or a really early breakfast..."

Simon caught the gleam in her eye and wondered if he was seeing what he thought he was. "Enjoy," he wished fondly as he watched her wave him goodbye. Turning back to his computer, he dug into the genetic puzzle that was the Ancient gene.

---

*~

Major Lorne met her just inside the cafeteria with a bowl of porridge and smile. "Hey Doc, come join me," he offered cheerfully. "It's not half bad."

Keller sat down in the chair he'd pulled out for and tried not to yawn. Failing miserably she just smiled sheepishly at Lorne. "Thank you," she said as she took the porridge. "Carson's going to be okay, we got him stabilized and his extremities responded well to treatment."

Lorne saw her face fall through her optimism and reached across the table to touch the hand holding her spoon over her untouched breakfast.

"We couldn't..." Keller started dropping her spoon and pushing her chair back a bit as her nose started to sting. "We couldn't save his eye." Anger hurt, burning through her sinuses as she fought the urge to cry.

Lorne's hand closed warmly around hers, crushing her doubts with his strength. "He's alive and he's back with us," he reminded her as firmly as he held her hand. "We'll just get him an eye patch or something...I bet Scotland had pirates too."

Keller laughed painfully through the lump in her throat. "Ireland had Grainne O'Malley, but she was a pirate queen, not really the eye patch type," she tried to be as positive as he was.

His other hand slipped across the table to touch her chin. "Carson is one of the most optimistic men I know," he promised her as he smiled at her obscure knowledge of history. "If anyone can learn to be a Scottish pirate physician...he can."

Keller nodded into his hand and wondered why she hadn't noticed how beautiful his eyes were before that moment.

The alarm rang through their quarters, bitterly driving away sleep. John felt Elizabeth sit up next to him in bed as he crawled out of his side. Reaching for his commlink and his boots simultaneously, the first thing he heard was Chuck's voice.

"There's been an accident," Chuck reported with nervous excitement. "Support girders failed along the southeastern pier. Damage control teams are responding but it's a mess down there."

"We'll be up to control in a few minutes," Elizabeth's voice cut into his link and John let himself yawn. His watch blinked the hour at oh-four-twenty-one, and he groaned as he searched for his pants. They were crumpled on the floor and one leg was inside out. Cursing as he tried to pull them on, he fixed them in the dark and pulled them on over his naked skin.

Elizabeth yanked on his black t-shirt over her blue lace bra. Reaching for the light on the wall, she waved her hand over the switch and listened as John fussed with his belt.

"That was my shirt," he mumbled as he pulled a clean one out of the drawer.

"It was closer," she replied as she caught his arm, flattening his bed hair and watching him try to rub sleep from his eyes. "I like it," she admitted when he started to wake up.

"I only have three shirts," John protested as he finished tying his boots. "If you take one I'll only have two."

"I'll buy you one next time I'm off world," Elizabeth teased as they stumbled out of their quarters. "If you ever let me go off world," she finished under her breath.

"I let you go off world," he muttered back in a yawn as they headed for control. "On safe planets that I've checked out first," John added firmly as he joined Lorne and Zelenka on their way up the stairs.

"Support girders?" Elizabeth asked Zelenka.

Clutching his coffee cup as he nodded, Zelenka hurried up the steps ahead of them. "When we lost the end of the south pier it threw everything in that half of the city out of alignment," he called down over his shoulder. "We've been dragging the city through hyperspace, going in and out when something breaks...it was only a matter of time."

"We came out of hyperspace as soon as they failed," Rodney reported from behind his console. "The city's unbalanced, we have resonance damage all over the south side." He rubbed bloodshot eyes and accepted his cup of coffee from Walter. "It's going to take some time to fix," he sighed as Zelenka joined him at the science console. "Maybe a lot."

"Shields are up," Lorne reported from the tactical station. "But we're dead in the water; we're just drifting."

Elizabeth looked over the faces of her team. John took a cup of coffee from a tray and stayed at her side. "Anyone drifting with us?"

"Just us lost sheep," Lorne replied ironically. "I'll start contacting the ships, get them up in the air in a perimeter, ma'am."

"Good," John nodded for her. "I'll head down to the chair room, see how much control we have left."

Elizabeth followed him to the stairs, taking the extra second to kiss his cheek. "Be safe," she warned softly.

He winked and yawned again over his cup. "You know me," he replied casually over his shoulder.

"That's why I worry," she finished to herself as she watched him leave. "All right, let's get this city flying again." Elizabeth went back to her team and listened to the Rodney and Zelenka argue over how the girders had failed. The force fields were preventing air loss. The civilians were safe in the city center, but Atlantis herself was suffering. She could feel it when she touched the railing to her office. The tiny vibrations were still there and even the inertial dampeners couldn't hide them.

She tightened her grip on the cold rail. "Rodney, Radek, how do we fix this?"

---

"The internal dampeners are working at maximum now," Rodney explained dismally as he clung to the end of his control panel. Atlantis had developed a limp and the great city sailed through space as if it were a black ocean. The roll the floor had developed was wreaking havoc on her people. Rodney still looked queasy, Radek was pale, and even Teal'c had admitted he'd been on more pleasant vessels. "But it's only going to get worse. If we stop long enough to find the new balance point of the city and rewrite the standards for the stabilizers we might, I emphasize might, be able to get it o feel like a calmer sea."

"It's still going to feel like a sailing ship?" John wondered with a tiny smile of amusement.

"You make any more pirate jokes about Carson taking us all to the treasures of the Ancients..." Rodney warned.

"I'd never," John finished dryly.

"...I'll kill you," Rodney finished as he glared at his friend.

"Doctor," Radek interrupted. "I suggest we start evacuating the non-essential personnel to the first friendly planet we can find. The city's in rough shape and it's only going to get worse."

Elizabeth lifted her head from her hands and tried not to think too much about the irony of the situation. "I'll start compiling a list," she decided softly as she stood to go, Chuck and Walter ambushed her.

"Doctor Weir, since you're awake, you should see this," Walter offered politely.

"It started this morning at oh-two hundred," Chuck explained with mild confusion. "M3F-117 dialed in and transmitted some kind of identification code."

"That code nearly deactivated the shield," Walter added as he pointed at the gate records. "Chuck figured out how to keep it up while collecting their codes. M4T-223 dialed next, then M9G-327. That planet actually sent a message back to us."

"They sent something in Ancient," Chuck read off the screen in front of him. "We found out Doctor Jackson was still awake and he was able to translate it."

Daniel leaned over the desk smiling in benign amusement. "They send congratulations to our council and their thanks that the city of light is once again protecting this galaxy."

The city of light?" Elizabeth asked softly as she rubbed her head. The morning had
already gotten off to a rocky start and it seemed it would only go downhill from there.

"Atlantis was known in ancient times as 'the City of Light resting upon the eternal sea'," Daniel explained dryly as he settled back into his chair. "It's an invention of folklore that the Ancients let stick."

"Tell her the weird part," Walter prodded from behind Daniel.

"Right," Daniel remembered as he straightened his glasses. "They'd like to send their tithes. M9G-327 is even promising to send an extra share of their crops out of gratitude and extends an invitation to visit their planet."

"The southern pier's a smoking wreck and we're being congratulated?" Elizabeth murmured grimly to the men in her office as she tried to think. "What are they trying to tithe?"

"Well, that was the interesting part," Daniel began as he handed over his computer and pointed to part of the database he'd been researching. "This city used to be supported by the outlying colonies because it lacks any real food producing resources of its own. In exchange for food and supplies, the city protected most of the planets in this galaxy. Some were Ancient colonies and some were ordinary worlds with developing cultures."

"I think we should accept it," Jack finally spoke from his corner of the room. Sitting up and resting his hands on his knees, he looked directly to Elizabeth. "We need the food, if they have it to spare we should accept it and send them a lovely thank you note."

John leaned on the doorway behind Chuck and startled when he suddenly recognized the designation M3G-927. That was Ceol, the planet where everything had started between him and Elizabeth and the planet under Mab's protection. He looked over Walter's shoulder and deeply into her eyes. It took her a moment to look up, but he saw she remembered as well. They'd meant to go back; to find out what had really happened to them and now it seemed they'd have the chance.

"McKay and Carter think the Asgard are our best bet when it comes to fixing the city," Jack reminded everyone as he stood up. "We should get everyone into the conference room and work something out where we get some food and get that pier fixed. The city's not going to stand for long against the Ori or any of our other mighty enemies long with a bleeding hole in its side."

Chuck and Walter got out of the general's way as he left Elizabeth's office. She thanked them quietly and kept Daniel's database entry in her hands as he left the office as well.

When it was just John, he slunk over and perched on the edge of her desk. "We have to go," he told her when she refused to look up from her computer. "We can find out what happened to us...what's happening to you now."

"We can't both just go off on some personal mission," Elizabeth argued, and sighed as she dropped the computer to her desk. "You're my second, I agreed to be governor of this city and we both have responsibilities."

"Lorne can handle it for awhile," John replied with a confident air. "Rodney's just fixing things anyway and Carter can make sure the repairs get done right." He reached for her forehead, rescuing a stray piece of hair and tucking it back. "We need to do this."

"The refugees come first, John," Elizabeth decided as she pushed herself up from the table. "I think all of them could use some time on solid ground with a sky over their heads. Let me get them settled, then we can talk about us."

He reached for her cheek, stroking the skin down towards her chin. "We can always wait, can't we?" he asked rhetorically knowing Elizabeth always put herself last. "So...that meeting?" John offered as he waved towards the door. "Might as well share your ideas with our governing council..."

"It's getting that way, isn't it?" Elizabeth muttered to him as they crossed the catwalk. "We used to just make decisions, now it takes a committee to do anything."

"Welcome back to civilization," John replied sardonically as he slipped his hand behind her back. Keeping hold of her comforted him; instead of moving out of reach she smiled at him and warmth crept through him.

---

Jack settled into his chair, reached for his computer and sighed heavily. "Why do I have to do these?" he groaned towards the bedroom and his wife.

"Because you're the only living Earth general, and effectively military commander of the free world," as she spoke a sock flew from the main room of their quarters and narrowly missed her head. Picking it up, Sam tossed it back at him as she finished; "You're like a god among mortals," she teased effortlessly. "I'd better get the highest rating."

"Are you kidding?" Jack called as he watched his balled-up sock roll along the floor of his now unstable living quarters. "'Carter' is the highest rating that exists in my book. Everyone works their asses off just to be considered as good as you."

"And that's how it should be," she decided for him as she moved his computer from his hands and dropped into his lap. Kissing him slowly, Sam started to chuckle as his hand slipped towards the top button of her blue jacket. "I have a meeting with McKay," she whispered in his ear as she moved the hand away.

"That can't possibly be more important than sex," Jack whined as he stared her down.

"If we skip it to have sex I'll be thinking about how to repair the south pier the whole time..." Sam trailed off as she nibbled her way up his neck, "...and 'Oh my God, the support girders,' just isn't the same."

"Get out of my sight woman," he pretended to snap irritably. "I'm changing my standards, Jackson's my favorite now."

Sam kissed his protesting mouth again and felt his lips quiet beneath hers. "I love you, Jack," she finished seriously.

"Carter, get your gorgeous, genius ass to your meeting so you can get it back to me," he lifted his tablet computer and eyed her over the screen. "Preferably naked," he amended as he returned to his reports.

"I'll see what I can do, sir," she said slipping from his grasp to the door. "Enjoy your evaluations."

"Oh I will," Jack muttered as the door shut. "That's why I wanted to be a general, mission reports just weren't enough paperwork for me," he finished his complaint to the empty room and reminded himself how earnestly Elizabeth had asked for his evaluations. It was all part of her grand struggle to keep their little world running in some kind of normalcy.

When the door opened a few moments later, Jack was momentarily convinced he'd lost all track of time and Sam was already back. Startled by who he saw when he finally looked up, his sarcastic comment died on his tongue. "You're not Carter," he said instead, feeling foolish as he gaped at his visitor.

"I saw her in the corridor," Elizabeth offered quietly, keeping her rushing emotions in check. "She was heading for McKay's lab."

There was something uncomfortably tight in the way she stood, and Jack set aside his computer when he realized she wasn't there for a quick question she could have asked him over the radio. He tapped the screen and sent his computer to sleep as he waited for her. When no explanation seemed to be forthcoming, Jack slid over to one side of the couch. "Would you like to sit?"

"I need you to tell me I'm not crazy," Elizabeth demanded suddenly, surprising both of them by the edge in her voice.

"I currently believe you aren't," Jack responded slowly as he leaned forward. "You can try to change my mind..."

"I hate this," she whispered to the floor by his feet.

"Hey, I hate the damn evaluations too but it wasn't my idea to bring them back..." Jack reached for her knee as he tried to reassure her. The muscle jumped under his hand as she startled back.

"I hate being pregnant," Elizabeth corrected him. Her hand went to her forehead and she rubbed angrily at one of her eyes before she looked at him. Jack had never seen her chin tremble before. "I hate being able to count the days I haven't thrown up in the last month on one hand. I hate feeling like I'm constantly doing something wrong and then hating myself for knowing that I most likely am."

The general rested his hands in his lap and waited for the break in the storm.

"I hate John when he says he loves me," she choked on the words, taking a shuddering breath to continue, "I hate the look on his face when he realized I loved him." Her right hand fluttered to her chest and became a fist over her heart. "I love him," she repeated through the hot tears she hadn't energy enough to stop in her eyes.

He just sat there for a moment, indecision gnawing nervously at his gut. "Come here," Jack reached for her shoulders and had her crushed to his chest before she had time to fight him. "Sara used to wake up in the middle of the night," he began to tell the back of her head softly as his hands rubbed across her back. "She'd wake up covered in sweat, terrified that we were going to be the worst parents in all recorded history of the world. For a long time she just lay there until she forced herself back to sleep," he admitted in a tone he rarely used. His voice ran into her ears and warmed her heart, like hot tea in her stomach on a cold day.

"I finally caught her in the second trimester," he smiled and kept talking as her head lifted slightly. "We stayed up all that night just talking about the stupid stuff," Jack shook his head at the memory; his hands coming to rest on her slight shoulders. "How Charlie was a lousy name if he was a boy, how I'd probably spoil her rotten if she was a girl, how I'd never be able to let any young man look at her if she grew up pretty, and eventually it hit us. Lying there in the dark, with our arms tight around each other, panicking..." he smiled when her eyebrow lifted in amusement, "...we remembered that we loved each other, and beneath all our worries we were so excited to be having that baby..."

In his chest, old wounds stung his heart and made the air in his lungs feel like lead. "Look," Jack started again when the silence had grown heavy and thick between them. "No one can tell you how to feel. Maybe being pregnant is the most horrible thing to ever happen to you," his hands whispered as he shuffled them nervously and continued, "No one would blame you. This isn't what you wanted, it lousy timing..."

"...Why is John so dammed calm?" she demanded when Jack ran out of excuses.

Jack laughed, bit it back because he knew it wasn't appropriate, but kept his smile. "It's a lot easier when you're the guy," he admitted apologetically. Something strange and wonderful is happening around you, not inside of you. I've had a few weird things inside of me, some of them even wanted to kill me, and I wouldn't trade a one of them to go through what you're going through."

Reaching hesitantly for her chin, Jack pulled back once before he decided she'd let him touch her face. "We're cowards," he began seriously, "give us guns and bombs and we're fine, give us a baby and we panic...that's why women have them."

"Women are braver?" she ventured with a hint of a smile.

"That and you look better with breasts," Jack cupped his hands over his chest and shook his head. "Much better," he tapped her nose and made her smile in surprise. "Did you talk to John?"

"He deserves the hysterics more than you do?" Elizabeth replied sardonically finding the strength to maintain her smile.

"Well...that and you need to be in this together," Jack reminded her as he pulled himself to his feet. "Do you want some water? I was going to hit the coffee, but that's kinda out of the question for you..."

"Thank you," Elizabeth murmured as she watched him pour coffee out of a thermos.

"Got this from the Genii, cost me a ball-point pen," he stopped with cup in his hand and looked down at it thoughtfully. "The guy I was trading claimed to have never seen one before. Funny how that works isn't it?" Jack asked rhetorically as he got her glass of water in his other hand and made his way back. "The Genii invent nuclear weapons but skip right over the ball-point."

"I don't think writing was as important to them," Elizabeth reminded him gently remembering how driven Genii society was. "It's different here in this galaxy. We've been protected on Earth, we've never been enslaved and even now we're still free."

"Maybe we should spend more time thinking about that instead of worrying how we're going to feed and clothe everyone next year," Jack's irony went straight to her heart, cutting through the resolve he hadn't meant to shatter.

"Are you and Sam sure you want to go back?" she changed the subject.

"We still have allies there, planets we promised to protect from the Ori," Jack reminded himself as he sipped lukewarm black coffee. "Sam and Rodney have a cloaking device that works pretty damn well. We'll be back before the city is," he promised as he raised his cup.

Water tasted sweet after the bitterness crying had left in her mouth. "I wish we weren't splitting our people," she admitted as she watched her fingers leave marks on the smooth metal in her hands. "Feels like everyone was just starting to get used to Atlantis..."

The lights dimmed momentarily and Jack caught himself reaching for her. "She needs some time in dry-dock before we blow out something important and can't get it fixed. Flying with a broken pier's playing havoc with the systems, at least that's what my wife tells me."

"Rodney and Radek agree with her," Elizabeth conceded with a sigh. "I suppose some of our refugees will find life easier on Ceol, where they have a sky over their heads and something solid under their feet."

"And there's an Ancient on this planet?" he asked uneasily. None of the Ancients he had met had ever been particularly helpful.

"Of a kind," was her guarded reply. John had been worried about choosing Ceol at the most recent meeting of the senior staff, so worried that he'd gotten quiet after the vote. "Rodney and the Daedalus did extensive tests of the planetary shielding system. We'll be safe from the Wraith and the Asurans."

"And you're going to be okay?" Jack asked finally as he set his empty coffee cup aside. "You know I'm more than willing to be the brunt of hysterical tears anytime you have them..."

Her lips pursed and for a moment they shared a smile.

"Sometimes you just need to say crazy things," Jack replied for her. "You never know, I might turn up on your doorstep someday."

"I'll keep a light on for you," Elizabeth promised softly as she stood. It took more time to balance her weight over her feet than it had weeks ago and she caught Jack's slow smile as he studied her slightly swollen waistline.

"You really are beautiful like that," he let the comment hang in the air as she started to blush. "It's a good look."

Her eyebrows met in the center of her forehead for a moment before she managed the slightest smile. "John would agree with you," she murmured as she went to the door. "I think you're crazy, but I've always thought you two were in the same place."

---

"We've successfully adapted Ancient cloaking technology to function on the Artemis," Sam began cheerfully. "It was actually easier than we thought it would be, being that Asuran technology is so close to what the Ancients were actually using."

Jack reached over and patted her hand. "Even if it wasn't hard, we're still impressed, Sam," he added with amusement. "So, the Artemis crew and I will run the recon mission to the Milky Way as quietly as we can. Major Lorne will take the skeleton crew on the city to meet with the Asgard."

"Hopefully they'll be able to do a bit more for us than just fix the city," Daniel injected optimistically. "After all, we've done a lot to help them."

"If by help you mean saving their little gray asses," Jack quipped as Elizabeth rapped the table lightly.

"How are the refugees adapting to the planet?" She steered them back on track.

"Two hundred of them have already left through the gate for Ceol," Catherine Lorne began as she stood neatly behind her son's chair. Crossing her arms over her chest, she swallowed before she finished. "As well as can be expected, most of them are simply relieved to be on land that isn't moving."

"We're getting the rest of them ready," the younger Lorne added.

"But," Sam interrupted weakly, gripping the table as she tried to get her eyes to focus on the wall behind Elizabeth, "we decided it was better to keep moving, instead of trying to send them all now."

"How long until we reach orbit?" Elizabeth turned that question to John, who sat easily in his chair. He was a little paler than usual, but he managed to smile at her.

"Autopilot's not working with the city in the shape it's in," he reported for the benefit of everyone around the table who didn't know. "We're working on a two hours on, eight off rotation. Carson's up now, and I'm next. General, you pulled the morning shift didn't you?"

Jack rescued a computer that was starting to slide off the table towards Sam's lap as the floor tilted. "Lucky me," he murmured with as much cheer as he could sarcastically summon.

"My team and Major Lorne's will continue to run search and reconnaissance operations with the Genii in search of Teyla," Cameron reported to change the subject from the swaying of the deck. He wasn't much for fishing and after the last week of rolling deck plates he wasn't sure if he'd ever want to set foot on a boat again.

Rodney reentered the room from the back door, sliding into his chair apologetically with his hand over his mouth. Space-sickness breaks were becoming a necessity. John, Jack and Evan were doing better than most after their years as pilots. Elizabeth couldn't tell if Teal'c was just better at controlling himself, or if he was just more stoic than she'd realized.

Ronon just wasn't bothered. She wasn't sure if she'd seen any kind of reaction from him since Carson's return without Teyla. Nothing he'd remembered had been able to help them locate Teyla. There were vague stories in Athosian legend about people taken by the Wraith but even the elders didn't remember them well enough to help. The Genii spy network was watching for her, but Ladon hadn't had much good news for her about anything lately.

"We're planning to launch the Dreadnought when we reach orbit," Rodney reported with a nervous sigh as he wondered if he'd be able to outlast his nausea.

"Any thoughts on a name?" Elizabeth glanced over the table towards the Dreadnought's new commander. He stared impassively back at her with a slight smile, which was more than welcome among the grim faces around her.

"It's positively bad luck to launch a vessel without one," Vala reminded all of them from the wall she leaned against behind Daniel. Elizabeth wasn't entirely sure how she managed to remain standing when everyone else was dealing with the their rolling stomachs, but the other woman had a point.

Most of the eyes around the table went to Jack, who shrugged and sat back defensively. "I'd just want to call her 'Marge'..." he trailed off sheepishly.

"Hera," Teal'c decided for them. "In keeping with the rest of the vessels. The largest one should be their queen."

"You're just saying that because we gave you the big ship," Jack muttered towards Teal'c as Daniel started to smirk.

"He has had the most space combat experience," Daniel pointed out innocently. "Years longer than the rest of us have been alive."

"Just rub it in," Jack continued to complain as he drummed his fingers on the laptop.

"Hera it is. All right, what else?" Elizabeth steered the meeting back on course, mentally adding more things to her never-ending list.

---

"I was a pirate for Halloween once," John started thoughtfully as he flopped onto the floor by the control chair. "Had the eye patch and everything."

"How old were you?" Carson asked with a half-smile. When he was in he chair he didn't feel the twisting of the deck beneath his feet, or notice that everything was dark on the left side of his vision. When he was Atlantis he felt almost whole, but even that escape was failing him. The city suffered, writhing beneath him as it limped towards Ceol. He'd never felt much of a connection to ships or mechanical things.

"Seven," John grinned sheepishly. "Got extra candy for being cute," he finished as he toyed with a loose thread on his sleeve. "Is it pulling to the left for you too?"

Carson shrugged slowly and opened an eye towards John. "A little, it's just reluctant, like a shy dog."

"Like 'em?" John wondered as he finally bit the string off with his teeth, sucking on it for a moment before he pulled it out of his mouth. "Dogs, I mean."

"Used to bring them home," Carson admitted nostalgically. "My mum used to threaten to stop feeding me if I gave all her good dinners to my mongrels." He smiled up towards the ceiling, thanking the unseen forces that had saved his mother yet again. "She never meant it though. You next?"

"Twenty hundred to midnight," he replied as he stood. John ran his hand through his hair and watched the chair go dark as Carson leaned forward.

"Who drew the late shift?" Carson wondered as he tried to catch his bearings. John's hand steadied him as his balance started to fail him. The chair was wearing them all down; constant shifts, every day for more than a week of travel. They pressed on, but John had already seen the wear start to take hold in the eyes of his friends. Major Lorne had taken extra rotations whenever Rodney or himself was too busy to take his turn at the helm, and his soft brown eyes were tired. Dark circles had formed beneath them and taken up residence.

"Lorne," he filled in as he forced himself to meet Carson's single good eye without blinking. "He's had it the last couple days, I'm going to have to come up with..."

"I'll take it tomorrow," Carson promised lightly with a smile that almost convinced John he was all right. "I've just been trying to help treat everyone's motion sickness; I'm sure Keller can handle it if I need to sleep in."

"How is that going?" John asked. Stretching his arms and legs before he sat down, he cleared his mind and started letting himself go.

"As well as you'd expect," the doctor muttered with mild frustration. "I remember stories from school, pilgrims crossing great oceans in search of a new home. Do you think this is something like that?"

"I can picture Rodney in a funny hat, can't you?" John asked in response as he settled into the chair.

"Don't you wonder what history's going to say about us?" Carson pressed on, hoping to get something serious out of his friend.

The colonel smirked in the chair. "I don't wonder," he admitted rakishly. "I intend to write it."

---

*~

The lights of the city dimmed after dark. It seemed almost foolish to keep doing it, honoring a cycle of day and night that meant nothing in the eternal darkness of space, but it was a comfort to watch the lights in the corridors grow brighter in the coming dawn. Even the darkness was comforting because it demanded nothing from her.

Elizabeth walked unseen through the corridor with one hand on the wall to steady herself. Her pregnancy induced nausea had been starting to fade when the city had inflicted her with the same space sickness that tortured everyone else. Doctor Keller was concerned for the welfare of all of her people, and she knew she'd have to make up her mind on when to evacuate. She was resisting until she talked to Carson. Simon and Keller were probably right, but she wanted to hear it from Carson. He was her chief surgeon and his disappearance had made his opinions all the more dear to her heart.

Everything was precious now; even Rodney's complaining in front of her in the line endless line for dinner had touched her because anyone could be taken from her at any moment. Teyla was gone, and Elizabeth couldn't shake the cold knot in the pit of her stomach that said she wasn't coming back. She'd felt it when they'd lost Ford; it was the same frigid despair that insisted she'd failed one of her own.

The chair room was awash with blue light that nearly blinded her after the darkness of the corridor. Elizabeth squinted at the dark form in the chair and waited as he slowly came into focus. John's eyes were closed; he nearly looked asleep. She walked softly, careful to keep him from sensing her presence. He was peaceful and she needed that from him. When her ability to keep smiling and leading the way towards the uncertain future waned, she had him.

Climbing carefully up onto the platform, her boot scuffed on the metal and his lips smiled. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"It's cold in our bed," she complained childishly twirling a piece of her hair. "I don't know what it is, something's just not right..."

He chuckled and opened his eyes. Drinking in the outlines of her face and watching the blue light from the floor halo her curls, John remembered why he conjured her up when he was bored. "You're beautiful, Elizabeth," he announced matter-of-factly before he closed his eyes again.

Smirking and creeping up on him, she put her hands over his for a moment before she crept into his lap. John startled, nearly losing his connection to the chair as he struggled to adjust. Pulling her down against his chest, he removed his hands from the controls long enough to hold her. When her hands found his arm and his shoulder he moved his back and retook control of the ship. Somehow it was easier to hold the ship steady when he could feel the beat of her heart against his chest.

"This is better than bed?" he asked when he felt her sigh and give up the last of the tension in her body.

"No," she teased back lightly, taking comfort in feel of the stubble on his check against her forehead. "Bed would be more comfortable, but I've always been something of a masochist."

"You have," John agreed with half a sigh. "I should know that by now," he chided himself as he snuck a glance at her hand on his arm.

"Your ability to ignore what you should have learned by now is one of your more charming," Elizabeth explained, running her hand down to his wrist, "and more difficult character traits."

"I do pick up my socks," John reminded her as he flipped his hand over to squeeze hers. "I've kept our room as neat as I can. I don't think I need to remind you that it wasn't me who couldn't find my shirt this morning when the alarm went off..."

Groaning and hiding her annoyance in a yawn, Elizabeth tried to remember back to that morning. Her memories only blended with the day before in a haze of half-solved crises and lists of things still left to do. "Maybe if you hadn't thrown it away so vigorously...."

"...Maybe if you didn't tease me, I wouldn't have to remove your clothing so vigorously..." John interjected.

"I'm not sure how you qualify, 'John, I'm home' as an innuendo," Elizabeth interrupted back.

"When you make me do personnel evaluations, everything you say that isn't about them or aliens trying to kill us is going to be an innuendo," he explained patiently. "If you weren't so damned sexy..."

Laughing into his neck, Elizabeth started to kiss his cheek and stopped just above the skin. "Is that your answer to everything?"

"I'm debating it," John quipped and opened an eye to see her beaming down at him. "What do you think?"

"I think this is much better than bed," Elizabeth answered mysteriously rewarding him with the kiss on his cheek he'd been waiting for.

Leaning up to kiss her back severed his connection with the city when his mind temporarily forgot about anything larger than the desires of his exhausted body. Chuckling sheepishly as he interfaced with the chair again, John closed his eyes. "This is harder with you here," he pretended to complain.

"We all need challenges," she whispered as she nibbled his upper lip. "Especially colonels, I've heard it keeps you sharp."

"We're not going to get any sleep if you keep that up," he reminded her when she settled back into his arms. "And even Lorne will be fairly traumatized if he walks in on..."

"Me sitting on your lap?" she teased innocently. "I think the major's a little less of a prude."

"That's all this is," John wondered sardonically,"You sitting on my lap?"

"Until your shift ends," Elizabeth promised with a hint of a growl, "that's all it's going to be. Anyone could walk in here, John..."

"It's not really a secret," John replied with a chuckle. His hand found her hip and ran slowly up the side of her body as he slipped his hand over to the swell of the baby within her. "I think everyone knows you're pregnant now, even if Rodney hasn't told them, you are really starting to look..." he paused, picturing how far the curves of her body were still going to round outward, "...different."

"I just feel sick," Elizabeth complained realistically. Smoothing her hair back so it stayed out of his face, she buried her head closer. "I don't know if that counts as any different, it's been that way for weeks."

"Feeling sick isn't exactly different lately," he tried to concentrate on flying the city, but the warmth of Elizabeth against his chest was more important than the twisting feeling of the internal stabilizers. The city was sick and her ability to protect the fragile lives inside of her was failing. John wasn't sure it would even limp into orbit. Nausea brought his stomach to his throat and he wondered if that was what she had dealt with since she became pregnant. "I caught Rodney throwing up."

"He just doesn't have his sea legs..." Elizabeth murmured as she tightened her eyebrows in thought, "...space legs, yet."

"I think you had an advantage," he teased and wound his fingers into the fabric of the black t-shirt she'd stolen from him that morning. "More practice with nausea."

Her teeth grazed his ear and Elizabeth felt him shiver beneath her. "Whose fault would that be?" she purred to him.

"You seduced me," John replied indignantly snapping an eye open. "I've always been attracted to beautiful women, especially brunettes, and I was drunk. It's obvious you took advantage of me."

With her eyes twinkling as she stared down, Elizabeth run through the myriad ways she could punish him and finally decided to kiss his teasing mouth. The city shuddered around them as it nearly fell from hyperspace. John's lips went still against hers for a moment as he struggled to keep the city out of normal space. When he came back to himself he could hear her laughing.

"I bet I did seduce you," she decided imperiously. "You fell victim to my wicked ways and subsequently into my bed."

"That's right," he ran his hands up over her shoulders to cup her neck. "I'm the victim in all of this, your poor innocent plaything."

Still laughing as she twisted to straddle his lap, Elizabeth caught his hand and kissed it. "Is that an offer?" Dragging it down over her chest she let him rest his hand on bulge of her stomach. "You'll be my slave?"

"We've been together more than two months and I only now find out about your kinky side?" he pouted and tried to reconcile his mind between flying the city and the warmth of her belly beneath his hand.

Shrugging and watching his face break into a smile, she relaxed back down against him. "Maybe you never asked," she murmured as she wondered what he saw behind his closed eyes. "What are you looking at?" she asked finally.

"You," he admitted, half-teasing as he tried not to yawn. "I can 'see' you with the internal sensors, feel the movement of all the people through the city. Rodney and Radek are tweaking the stabilizers. Colonel Carter's getting ready to launch her vessel when we stop."

"You feel that now?" she pressed, intrigued by his explanation. "All of that?"

John's hand coaxed her head down against his chest, so all she heard was the beating of his heart and the slow rhythm of his breathing. In that quiet, she let him take her hands, bringing them with his to interface with the controls of the chair. The clear plastic-like material that gave way so easily when he touched it, resisted her touch for a moment, then she felt it - the tingling sensation of her mind expanding beyond her body.

"I don't know if you have enough of the gene," John was saying somewhere far away. "You might not be able...the city's a lot bigger than a jumper..."

Far away beneath her the ZPMs pulsed in sequence like three hearts beating power through the city. She felt it as if they were part of her, both drowning out and strengthening her own heart beat as her blood and the power flowed in unison. Her skin itched as if it was stretched to cover the whole city. It ached as if she'd been beaten; the kind of sore, slowly healing ache that itched and tingled. Through all of that there was still John, his warm, solid body pressed against her face, the smell of musk and sweat from too many days without a shower.

Atlantis could only smell the chill of space, the cool eternity that stretched on forever past the limits of even the advanced sensors of the city. It reminded her of snow; the new snow falling on the trees around the creek by her house. When she'd been a child and the world was safe and small, the snow had been beautiful, flying through the air like falling stars in the night.

Space was cold against her back, as if it were made of metal. Her hands flexed against his and with the controls. The city was all around her; warm, alive and seemingly unaware of her existence. John was there with her, both beside and within her as if he, like her, was just a tiny part of the greater whole. He was moving things, changing the movement of other parts, guiding the city as it sheltered them. She didn't have the strength; Elizabeth was an observer, not yet able to interact.

John released her, guiding her out of the inner workings of the city. Trembling as she slipped back into her own small body, Elizabeth wondered if she would have been able to make it back on her own. Pulling her hands up, she tucked them around his chest. "We're so small," she whispered to his body.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's like that fo

---

r..." he paused and searched for the words he wanted to use, "...the...our baby. Being part of something so much bigger than yourself and unable to communicate with it, wondering if it even knows you're there."

"We know," she insisted softly. "It's the first thing on my mind when I get up and the last when I..."

His lips touched her forehead, making her correct herself.

"...Okay, not always the last," Elizabeth barely managed not to blush, "but it is there all of the time," she finished nervously, still struggling with the idea that she had anything more than an illness within her.

"We'll have to try you in the chair on your own," John said practically trying concentrate on flying. "See how far your Ancient gene has progressed, maybe get you in on the rotation so the rest of us can have a little more time off."

Smiling sleepily Elizabeth yawned twice before she managed to speak. "Maybe we should concentrate on passing the gene to more people, build the ranks a little more past me so you and I can spend some time in bed for once."

"Bed..." he teased lightly, "...that's how we got into this mess, isn't it?"

"Believe it or not John, some people actually sleep in their beds," Kissing his neck as she chastised him, Elizabeth's presence let him forget about the staggering mental toll just keeping the city going was taking on him and finally relax into piloting the stumbling city.

Doctor Rodney McKay tried to wipe the dirt from his forehead, but only managed to smear it into his hair. "We're going to have to evacuate down to a skeleton crew as soon as possible and limp the city into Asgard space," he reported harshly. "I'm doing everything..."

"...we're doing everything," Doctor Radek Zelenka corrected firmly as he clung to the wall behind his head in the cargo bay. "That we can, but we just can't regenerate an arm of the city, we don't even know where to begin..."

"...we don't know what alloys the Ancients used," Rodney interrupted back with exhausted impatience. "Even if we did, we don't have the tools to reproduce them or a dry dock to attempt to reattach the arm in space and the city's just not designed to fly long-term without it. The best..." he paused and wrapped his hands tighter round the edge of the workbench before he looked back up at Elizabeth and Jack, "...the absolute best we can do is to patch it with deck plating and hope the Asgard can help us."

"I'm afraid I have to agree, Sir," Colonel Samantha Carter weighed in gently from her place near the bench. Her blue eyes were sunken into her head and Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Sam take some time off. "Rodney, Zelenka and I can patch the damage, but we don't know enough to repair it. It's like cauterizing a wound on the battlefield, we can stop the bleeding but none of us are doctors..."

"At least not medical doctors," Rodney grumbled under his breath. "Carter's right," he agreed slowly.

Radek nodded as well. "We need to limit the people on the city so we can shut down life-support and save power. Probably no more than twenty scientists."

"We've already evacuated nearly all of the civilians," General Jack O'Neill reminded them as he played with the stylus from his computer. "Major Lorne reports they're settling well on the planet."

"We can't continue to depend on charity," Doctor Elizabeth Weir added grimly as she tried not to fidget. It had already taken more than an hour for the scientists to list everything that was wrong with the city and her back hurt again. She rubbed her lower back with her right hand but pulled her hand away before Jack caught her favoring anything. Putting both hands on the edge of the workbench in front of her, she tried to hide the wince in her eyes and stare seriously at Rodney. "When will the city be ready to support life again? We can't just dump our people on Ceol and hope for the best..."

"I'm not sure you're listening to me, Elizabeth," Rodney snapped irritably as he left the bench to pace behind them. Holding onto the edge of the table for support, he tried to clarify his point. "The internal stabilizers are shot; the best human minds in two galaxies are here and we don't know how to fix them. The city even rolls when it's not moving."

"We don't have the parts to fix it," Sam explained calmly as she tucked an errant strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "There are control crystals we can't duplicate, alloys we don't know how to construct. The Asgard are our best hope."

"So we're counting on them being buddies with the Ancients to help us?" Jack asked watching Rodney struggle to regain his chair. "We're just going to knock and hope they'll help us?"

"Pretty much," Sam agreed with her husband as she tried to smile. "There is one other option, but we'd rather keep that as a last resort."

"Last resort?" Jack repeated brightening up slightly as the promise of something more interesting than repairs came to his attention.

"We find the Replicator city," Radek began nervously. "They must have constructed a new one by now..."

"...we find it and take it over," Rodney interjected as he swallowed against his nausea. "The parts are basically interchangeable; we can take what we need from them..." He stopped and stood suddenly, covering his mouth, "I have to go, now."

"Go Rodney," Elizabeth said as she waved to the door. "It's okay," she finished as she looked over the pale faces of her team. Jack and Sam seemed mostly unperturbed; she supposed it came from piloting. Radek looked nearly as bad as Rodney had, but he was holding his own. Swallowing, she tried to relax and ignore the turning of her stomach. Carson continued to promise that the reoccurrence of her nausea was from the failure of the stabilizers instead of the child straining her waistline.

"We would rather not have to go after the Replicators for spare parts," Sam said for all of her team. "i really think the Asgard will be on our side, however..."

"Sam and I talked about it," Jack interrupted for his wife. "We'd like to use the Artemis as an escort for the city. Sam's worried about the stabilizers failing..."

"Teal'c and the Hera can travel back to the Milky Way just as well as the Artemis can," Sam agreed tightening her knuckles on the edge of the bench as the city leapt to the left. Jack grabbed the bench and Elizabeth's arm when she nearly lost her balance.

Smiling, but mildly irritated at the sudden desire of everyone to protect her, she held on tightly to the workbench until the city righted itself. Sam scrambled over to a computer, wedging herself in as the city dove again. "I'l try to fix it," she called over the sound of crystals and tools bouncing noisily to the floor.

This time Elizabeth was grateful for the strong arms of the general as he held her in place against the metal. Her stomach jumped into her throat and she felt even Jack swallow hard behind her ear. Atlantis rolled hard to the left and Jack tightened his grip. Radek struggled back to his feet from the floor and dug into the crystals beneath the bench. Replacing two of them with ones on the floor, he was able to right to the city for the moment.

Putting her head down, Elizabeth fought against the desire to empty her struggling stomach. Jack's hand brushed over her head as he let go of the bench. "You okay?" he whispered before moving on to his wife.

"Radek fixed it temporarily," Sam reported before she covered her mouth suddenly and stumbled out of the room.

"It'll hold awhile," Radek reported as he crawled out his hair was wild around his ears. "We need to get everything tied down; it's only going to get worse."

"Call up to command, get everyone who can handle the rolling on a crew to tie things down," Jack suggested as he saw Elizabeth tap her radio. "I'm going to check on Sam." It took her a moment to find her voice but she swallowed and sounded calm when she spoke.

"Chuck," she started as she took hold of the wall for support. "Get the marines and everyone who's still feeling all right and get them on a crew to tie everything down."

"Yes, Ma'am," the young man replied quickly. "Right away, Ma'am."

"Can you stop the city so we can get everyone through the gate?" Elizabeth asked Radek as he took over Sam's computer. Her fingers were sore from grabbing the bench and she tried to flex feeling back into them. Letting go was a dangerous prospect and she stumbled back, nearly losing her balance completely before Rodney hit her. He led her to the bench, holding tight to her arm until she had a grip again.

"We can stop it," he promised through pale lips. "But the city's got a lot of inertia, when we come out of hyperspace it's going to be a hell of a crash, we'll need everything tied down first, people too."

Radek nodded quickly as he moved aside to let Rodney in. "It'll take us some time to turn the dampeners up as high as we can," he promised when Elizabeth turned to him. "Give us an hour."

"Okay," Elizabeth replied as she patted his shoulder. "An hour, then we stop." She walked slowly, careful to keep her hand on a wall or something else solid. She saw Jack and Sam when she went through the door into the hallway. Sam was getting to her feet with Jack's arm around her shoulders. She knew the look in Sam's eyes and what it felt like to have her head and her stomach twisted until she couldn't tell which way was up.

"I've flown combat," Sam complained to her husband as she clung to his shoulder. "I've pulled thirteen G's and I can't handle a little bit of a roll in the deck."

Jack shrugged and helped her find her feet. "Sometimes things aren't what they should be," he offered gently as his hand caught her cheek. "You'll be fine, you'll keep McKay from killing us all and everything's going to be fine."

"What about you?" Sam asked softly, taking the stolen moment to kiss his cheek before he was too far away.

"I'm going to help Elizabeth and tie things down," Jack promised winking as he took a step away. "I've always been good at knots, you know that." Stopping for a moment he took a few steps back towards her and kissed her cheek. "Take care, Carter."

"Yes, sir," she promised weakly managing to smile as she headed for the door.

Her husband watched her go for a moment, then he reached for the wall by Elizabeth. "I'll stumble after you, if you don't mind," Jack teased as he fell in step behind her in the swaying corridor.

"Sam looks tired," she mentioned tentatively hoping she wasn't opening the door for more commentary on her own appearance. "Is she having trouble sleeping?" Elizabeth had seen it happen to nearly everyone. John hadn't complained, but even he was having trouble dragging himself out of bed.

"She's been tired," Jack agreed as his voice softened with concern. "But we're all tired," he finished as he caught the door controls and hung on as the city shifted. "It's not a simple mission."

"It never is," Elizabeth replied softly wondering if he ever thought his rescue was the reason her team and so many others were trapped on Atlantis.

"We're alive," he piped up behind her as he helped her into the transporter. "At the end of the day that's the best we can hope for." Once inside the rolling of the deck subsided somewhat as Elizabeth paused and reached for the glowing dot of the control room. Jack closed his eyes as they flew instantly through the city. When he opened them, Elizabeth was starting out into the control room. The city bucked, tossing him into her back, this time she surprised him and caught his arm, keeping him from knocking them both to the floor.

"Still here?" she teased as they both reached for the control console.

"Nice save," Jack retorted as he headed for a chair and relative safety.

"Chuck, any luck with the Marines?" Elizabeth asked as she caught the back of his chair. "Or Naval officers? They might be better off with the swell."

Chuck managed a wan smile. "The Daedalus is beaming over as many volunteers as they could find along with everything Colonel Caldwell thought would be useful to secure things," he reported as he struggled to maintain his composure.

"Good," Elizabeth favored the control room with a smile that warmed the room. "Let's get everything tied down."

---

Teyla woke in the center of an endless room. The air in her nose was wet and heavy as it poured into her lungs. She didn't remember when she'd passed out and time was running away without her notice. Her mind was quiet now without Michael's presence and the first thing she felt was a sense of confusion. She didn't belong in this room surrounded by Wraith.

She'd been able to sense them her entire life; feel them coming to take her people. Now she felt them all around her, and or the first time in her life that sensation filled her with warmth instead of mind-numbing fear. The minds around her were curious instead of foreboding. In the haze of whatever it was that held her intoxicated she could only guess how many Wraith surrounded her. Wraith minds were rarely distinct but one stood out. Like a spotlight in a field of candles, the queen mother dwarfed everything around her.

"Rise," the queen mother demanded in the chill voice Wraith only used for command.

Teyla felt the voice stir her, but she didn't have to move. She lifted her head enough to look at the area around her, but she didn't sit up.

"Good," the queen mother purred in a normal tone. "You can resist me." The queen mother drew closer; Teyla felt her hand settle hot on her shoulder. Power surged in that hand; reminding her that the mind behind it was the most powerful she'd touched. "What else can you do?"

Teyla grabbed the hand that held her and pulled as hard as she could. Using the leverage to right herself, she flipped up and onto her feet. In the space between a heartbeat, the queen mother attacked her. She dodged, forcing the haze out of her mind as she let her body take over. The queen mother had brute force, but Teyla was smaller, she slipped between blows and wormed her way inside of the queen mother's reach.

Listening to the queen mother's mind and letting her feelings wash over her like an angry storm, Teyla let go and became part of that storm. Her left hand forced the queen mother's head up, leaving her neck and chest vulnerable. Fighting purely on instinct, her right hand slammed into the queen mother's heaving chest with her palm flat on the warm skin.

The queen mother bared her blue-white teeth in a wicked smile of pride. "We are already in you," she said with a voice harsh with age, studying Teyla with open approval. "What we are has not been lost to the ravages of time."

As her head started to clear, Teyla realized she was staring into the jet black eyes of the oldest Wraith she had ever seen. Even with the incredible regenerative powers of the Wraith, the queen mother's skin was lined with age. Her lips were cracked and dry as she smiled again.

"Yes, you see it in me don't you?" the ancient queen mother sank back into her chair as if her fight with Teyla had taken what little energy she had left. "I was the first queen mother among queen mothers, I was born when Wraith lived on Atlantis with those you call Ancients, and my daughters built the hive ships that wiped them out." Her eyes ran slowly over Teyla's body as the tendrils of her mind worked their way into Teyla's most intimate thoughts.

"You are the leader of your people," the queen mother rasped in her ears and in her mind.

"The Wraith are not my people," Teyla snapped back as defiantly as she could and forced the queen mother from her mind.

Stilling smiling her toothy smile the queen mother closed her eyes and fought her way back into Teyla's mind. "Aren't they?" she insisted. "Our blood is in your veins, your mother was nearly one of us."

"I am not..." Teyla started to resist.

"A killer?" the queen mother asked as she waved that excuse aside with a withered hand. "A hunter?" Her head rolled back against her chair and her voice faded. When she lifted it again there was fire in her bottomless eyes. "You're not a monster?"

"I am not," Teyla spat back.

"Not yet," the queen mother's tone belied the nightmare to come.

At her signal Michael emerged from swarm behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders.

"When we were born we were strong," the queen mother explained with waning strength. "We were stronger than our makers and in time we overcame them. The strong feed upon the weak because the universe hungers for strength. We were strong then and now..."

"...we are fading," Michael finished for her. "Your people showed us that what was human in us still sleeps within us, and that humanity is not the weakness it once appeared to be."

"You will be queen," the queen mother intoned heavily as she stood from her throne. "You will lead the Wraith into a new age of strength."

Michael's hands were warm on her arms as he held her in place. "We need you, more than the Athosians or the people from Earth ever could. We need you to save us from weakness and teach us your strength."

Teyla's heart insisted she had to keep fighting, but the queen mother in her mind directed her to a new fight. She would fight for her people; keep them safe from all harm and teach the ways of the new world coming to into being.

The queen mother stalked down the steps towards her, lifting her hand to rest it in the center of Teyla's chest. "You have never had a child," the queen mother whispered in her ear. "Now, you will be mother to all before you. All Wraith, all of the galaxy will kneel at your feet."

The queen mother looked into her eyes with love and began to fill her with life. At first she felt no different, Teyla was used to her body pulsing with strength, but then she felt better. Far better than she had ever felt on the best day of her life, because she was stronger. Her mind opened to the thoughts of the Wrath around her and they filled her with harmony. For the first time in her life, all the voids in her heart were full.

Lifting her hand, she slammed it into the chest of the queen mother and began to feed.

---

John startled himself awake for the third time and bit his lip to make sure he stayed that way. His head hurt from the coffee he'd drank too quickly before his fourth turn in the chair. He'd heard Carson's warnings about mental fatigue and neurotransmitter depletion; he knew he should be more careful, but it was getting harder and harder to steer the city. Rodney was busy, Lorne was planet side already, and he couldn't hand the city over to just anyone. It needed a real pilot now, not just a babysitter with the ATA gene.

The ache in the back of his head blossomed into a pulsing knot of pain. He couldn't hold it anymore. The city was spiraling out of his control and there will still too many people on it. It wasn't safe.

"I can't hold it," he radioed up to control as he fought to keep panic out of his voice. If the city came out of hyperspace without the inertial dampeners everyone would be a splatter of liquid on the walls. He'd once pulled thirteen Gs coming out of a nasty dive and nearly blacked out. He remembered the feeling of lead blanketing his chest and the way his eyeballs had flattened back into their sockets. "Get everyone off the city now," he warned when no one answered him. "I can't..."

"John?" she asked irritably. He could picture her eyebrow tightening in frustration. "You're supposed to be sticking to the rotation. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I can't keep the city in hyperspace," he replied ignoring her concern. "Evacuate," his words caught in his throat.

Elizabeth's voice was nervous beneath the calm she always summoned. "John, we know, Sam and Rodney..."

"...we think we can extend the dampening field on the Hera to ease the city out of hyperspace," Rodney snapped quickly. "I need you to hold it..."

"I..." John began as he swallowed and tried to ignore the hot trail of blood on his upper lip.

"John, it's all right," Elizabeth soothed over the radio. "They almost have it, just a little bit..."

"...beam everyone off the city," he demanded again as he swallowed against the metallic taste in his mouth. "Right now," that panic was in his voice now. "Elizabeth..."

"Rodney's getting it," she promised softly. "It'll be all right." Her forced calm rang through his ears in sharp contrast with the screaming in his brain. If the city fell out of hyperspace he might survive, the chair room was better shielded than any other, but control wouldn't be safe.

---

"Get out of there," he nearly screamed at her.

Wincing as she watched Rodney's and Sam's hands fly over computer controls Elizabeth bit her lip. "It's okay John," she promised again, wishing she believed herself. "They can do it."

This time there was no response, only the heightened sense of things that only came when death was imminent. John felt sweat creep down his forehead, and tasted bitter blood as it crept over his lips. He shook his head, hoping vainly it would clear the pain in his mind. Some headaches attacked from outside, but this one came from the core of his mind, burning through every part of his head. He fought the pain a moment longer before his vision and everything else in his mind went white.

---

"We're losing the inertial dampeners," Sam announced grimly trying to keep some kind of calm. "We can't remain in hyperspace more than a few milliseconds after they fail."

"Can you ease us out?" Jack asked hopefully as he looked over her shoulder. "Coast on out of harm's way?"

"We aren't waterskiing!" Rodney snapped as his fingers flew over the Ancient controls. "We can't just..." he stopped short and stared at Sam.

She kept working for a moment before she looked at him. "Rodney?" she wondered hopefully.

"Coast..." he repeated as his eyes grew large. "We need an eddy, a calmer place in hyperspace, somewhere we can..." he mimed slowly down gently with his hands as he continued, "...slide out easily."

"The shield," Sam realized as she nodded and moved to another control panel. "We use the shield to make an eddy in hyperspace and slide into it."

"Simple," Jack nodded sagely and leaned against the top of the panel as he stared proudly at his wife. "Just like that," he added as he tilted his head towards Elizabeth. The grip of her hand on his startled him.

Touching her commlink nervously in her ear Elizabeth bit her lip before she whispered to him, "John's stopped responding."

"We probably just lost the radio," Jack assured her as he stared at the smaller fingers covering his. Patting her hand nervously in return, he watched as McKay and Carter looked up in unison.

"Hang on," Sam advisedly seriously. "This might be a little weird."

The shield flashed blue through the miasma of color that was hyperspace outside the glass windows of the control room for a moment before everything around them slowed. The city shivered, as if the great structure was drawing breath to sneeze. The dancing colors crept to a halt before the city sighed and fell back into the darkness of normal space.

Metal creaked and groaned as Atlantis settled and stopped. Elizabeth felt the floor quiver beneath her feet as everything calm to a halt around her.

Rodney's shoulders relaxed in relief and he managed a smile. "We seem to be okay," he exclaimed for all of them as he looked around.

"The city is intact," Sam agreed less enthusiastically. "But we've completely destroyed the inertial dampeners and weakened many of the shield emitters. The city was in rough shape before, now..." she sighed and ran a hand through her mussed blonde hair. "We're dead in the water. i don't even know where to start fixing things."

Rodney sank into a chair and closed his eyes as he rubbed his temples. "It's possible the Asgard could help us patch the city together enough to reach their space dock, but we're still looking at months of repairs."

"Months?" Elizabeth asked in surprise as she caught her hand on her stomach. The though that her child was going to be born somewhere other than Atlantis made her uneasy. The refugee camps were supposed to be temporary.

"Do you have any idea how little we still understand these systems when they're working correctly?" Rodney asked rhetorically as he dragged himself out of the chair. "Sam and I will do the best we can to stabilize the city, but you're going to have to get everyone to Ceol or on a ship until we find someone who knows a hell of a lot more about Ancient technology than we do."

"We'll start getting ready to evacuate then," Jack agreed with a shrug as he reached for Sam's shoulder. "Good work," he offered as he winked cheerfully.

She looked up for a moment and managed half a smile. "Thanks," she replied before she went back to work.

Elizabeth beat him to the transporter. "I need to check on John," she explained softly as she reached for the lower level on the transporter. Resting her hand on her hip was less effective than it had been a month ago and she ended up with her hand on her belly instead.

"Anything moving yet?" Jack asked curiously as he leaned back against the wall.

Her eyes widened for a moment and she shook her head slowly. "Is that supposed to be...?" Elizabeth wondered shyly biting her lip.

"You've got to be pushing five months by now," he continued as the doors hissed open for them. Eyeing her thoughtfully, Jack grinned. "Even with your figure, the kid's gaining on you," he teased and touched her shoulder. "The kid moving around is one of the weirdest things..." he trailed off as he watched her eyebrows tighten. "What?"

"I've been too busy to sit down and talk one of the doctors," Elizabeth explained with a nervous sigh, "I keep feeling like there are all these things I should know, that everyone else seems to know already."

Her hair tumbled loosely over her shoulders and Jack wondered the last time she'd cut it. "It was difficult enough for me to schedule Sara's appointments around my duties, I can't imagine trying to do it when your doctor gets kidnapped and your home is falling apart," he soothed as he stopped her just outside the transporter. "Having a baby's not rocket science," he advised as he scratched his grey head. "They pretty much have themselves."

"I hope he or she doesn't have to raise herself too," she remarked darkly as she followed him down the too silent hallway. Atlantis was becoming a tomb around them, crumbling in beyond their ability to heal her.

"You'll be fine," Jack promised gruffly. "You'll be in good company," he added awkwardly patting her shoulder. "Lots of people, stuck in tents, nothing better to do..."

Raising an eyebrow at him, Elizabeth managed half a smile before they arrived in the doorway to the chair room. It was dark and the corners ate what little light had been in the hallway. She heard the snapping of velcro as Jack fished something from his pocket, than he shone light on the chair.

"John," she whispered as she pushed past Jack through the light. John's eyes were open as he stared up at the ceiling but he didn't move to look at her as she grabbed his shoulder. "John!" she called as she shook him.

Jack grabbed his radio and started to ask for a medical team. "His pulse is strong," he reported as he aimed the tiny flashlight down on John's still face. His eyelids didn't even twitch.

"He's not responding to stimuli," Elizabeth added as she shook her head. "I told you to get out of there," she whispered running a hand through his dark hair. "Medical?" she demanded.

"Coming from the Daedalus," Jack promised softly.

"Why aren't they beaming him out?" her voice cracked as she fought to control it.

"He might still be connected to the chair," Jack warned as he switched his flashlight to his other hand. "Carter's not sure, she wants a medical team to look here before we do anything. He's probably just unconscious."

"Right," she agreed without conviction. Elizabeth could feel the gentle rise and fall of john chest beneath her hand. "I thought I'd start to get accustomed," she admitted as she pulled her hand away to fidget with her sleeve. "Get a thicker skin, you know?" she finished and bit her lip.

"He's just unconscious," Jack reminded her roughly. "No starting down that path,"

"You're right," she shook her head and feebly agreed but her hands shook as she ran them over her hair. She strained her ears listening for the sounds of boots in the corridor. "Does the chair still have power?"

Jack knelt, groaning slightly as his knees creaked. "I'm not the right half of me to be repairing Ancient devices, my smarter half is still in the control room," his complaining went unnoticed as Elizabeth's eyes ran over the crystals inside the panel.

Reaching for a blackened crystal inside, she yanked her hand back when the blistering surface touched her skin. "It's actually burned out, all through here..." she murmured as Jack moved out of her way.

"Be careful," he warned as he dragged himself back to his feet. "It's not just you you're electrocuting."

She hissed in frustration around the burned fingers in her mouth. "I'm the leader, I'm supposed to have scientists to do this for me," she muttered and used her sleeve to pull the damaged crystal free. It shattered on the floor, collecting around her boots in dusky shards. Elizabeth wracked her brain and tried to remember which one of the blue crystals she could steal to replace the burned one. Choosing one, she slipped into slot and jumped back when the panel came to light.

"What did you do?" Jack demanded as he assisted her up to her feet.

'"I think I bypassed the secondary neural interface," Elizabeth brushed fine dust from her pants and watched the newly repaired lights flicker around them. "At least I think it was the secondary neural..."

John coughed and Elizabeth pushed past the General so quickly he had to move back out of her path. He coughed again and his hand twitched up towards his mouth.

John remembered the blinding pain in his head and the desperate notion that he was going to fail everyone counting on him in the city. His eyes hurt too much for him to open them more than a slit. Hands he knew rushed over his face.

"When did you get down here?" he teased in as he started to find his voice.

"Someone had to check on you," Elizabeth offered dryly as she caught the general escaping out of the corner of her eye. John's hand flopped over the arm of the chair and she brought it to her chest. "You got kind of quiet on me there for awhile. Jack was worried about you."

He started to laugh but ended up trapped in a coughing fit. "Feel like hell," John rasped when he finally regained his breath.

"You really did some damage to the chair," Elizabeth told him as she ran her hand down his arm. "Fried a crystal or two."

"I'll stop by the hardware store and get a new one," John offered sarcastically.

The tears she usually managed to keep away stung her eyes as she tried to picture him driving a puddle jumper into a parking lot. "I expect it," Elizabeth agreed as she remembered how to smile down at him. "A little less heroics less time would be nice as well," she sighed the knot out of her chest when the medics finally arrived in the doorway.

"I thought the hero got the girl," John murmured back as he tried to keep the blackness in the back of his head at bay.

"I don't know if you've noticed," Elizabeth leaned close enough that the feeling of her hair against his cheek overrode his headache for a moment. "John," she continued, "I think you have me."