Now THAT was dark.
It would have been better if you’d spread the paragraphs out a bit more, of course- as it is, your sentences tend to get kind of ‘clumped’ together when they’re being read, making it a bit harder to actually follow what’s going on as easily as I might like-, but that issue aside, the depth of the plot you’ve come up with here is DEFINITELY to be commended.
John’s attempt to cope with the psychological effects of what happened to him are very well-written, while the growing bond between him and Elizabeth as she offers him what support she can to help him through this.
And as for the part where McKay, Teyla and Ford learn what they did to him...
In many ways, I think it was McKay’s reaction that truly reflected how horrified they are at what they did; McKay doesn’t even THINK about freaking out about the fact that he did it with a guy and is solely focusing on the horror of what he did to John.
Admittedly, when this story’s actually meant to take place is a complete mess- Ford’s still around and John’s still a Major, but you mentioned the incident with Colonel Everett as having already taken place-, but given that John had a hard enough time coping with the aftermath as it was, it’s probably for the best that Ronon wasn’t there...
Timeline and writing aside, nice bit of work; keep it up!
i'm still thinking about the apropriate word to say after reading the whole fic... WOW isnt enough.. damn. this was one of the best stories ive ever read (sorry for not reviewing for each chapter). sometimes mckay is too smart for his own sake.and the others'. i'm speechless.auch. glad shep recovered and he didnt have to fake or lie about what had happened in front of his team. that wouldnt have been good for the team, especially atlantis. :(. the chapter when john really needed elizabeth by his side brought a song to my mind: time of dying - by 3days grace. the lyrics suit perfectly: On the ground I lay
Motionless in pain
I can see my life flashing before my eyes
Did I fall asleep?
Is this all a dream
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare I will not die, I'll wait here for you
I feel alive, when you're beside me
I will not die, I'll wait here for you
In my time of dying
On this bed I lay
I can see my life passing me by
Was it all too much
Or just not enough
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare .. etc. you get the point *wink.hint.wink* sorry about the extra size review lol:D*grin* "take me under" is also suited, but im not gonna push it:D thanks for the sparky:X it wouldnt have been the same. love that east-pier balcony.:>. and yes, i hope you're planning on writing a sequel. it would be nice:D but try making it happy now, please. [definetely loved the way liz stood by him the whole time]. looking forward to read more fics from you. wink=)).
that was amazing! I loved the strong relationship between Elizabeth and John. I loved the story line and i felt tears coming up at the end. a sequel would be nice *hint* *hint* *wink* *wink*
I loved this story but I had hoped there'd be a little more John/Liz time than there was in the end. It was good to see that John has gotten past the rapes and can be intimate but it looks like he wasn't over the emotional side and that he still doesn't like to talk about himself, which left me wanting for more than there was. I also felt that the reunion with his team was a little rushed and I was shocked that Liz and Carson let them not only touch him but go into a group hug considering how he reacted to a mere touch from Rodney, even if he was caught off guard that time. I had though they'd go a little slower but it all worked out in the story in the end either way. Other than that I enjoyed reading every moment of it and I am glad you chose to tackle such a personal and intimate topic. It truly is terrible that it happens at all but it's good that people write and discuss it instead of ignoring its existence, no matter how much we may want to. I hope you continue to write more fiction in the future and I wouldn't mind a sequel as long as it has LOTS more John/Liz! ^^
Again, it was good to see John improving slowly but surely. ^^ He has a long road to recovery and I'm so glad Liz has been there every step of the way. He is so going to be attached to her, not that he already wasn't. ;) lol I enjoy watching him recover and slowly opening up to them. He'll have to address the mental and emotional effects of his ordeal sooner or later. I love how comforting and thoughtful Liz is being and I hope you keep it up! =)
I'll admit, I was sorta expecting McKay and Ford to rape him after that last chapter considering what that fruit did to them. I wonder though, they were exhausted before they touched the fruit so does that mean that the atmosphere of the planet affected them too?? Poor John, no one should have to go through what he went through. I don't doubt that it'll take a long time to heal from what he's gone through, both physically and mentally. I'm SO glad Liz is there for him!! The poor guy has no one else except Carson, and he's his Doctor so that doesn't really count in the emotional department. It was nice to see Liz being so comforting and I was surprised at how comforting Carson was. I hope Liz continues to be there for him every step of the way. ^^ I wouldn't let him be alone even after his body is healed. Liz should make him stay in her quarters. ^^ hehe Then he can be taken care of properly after he's well wnough to leave the infirmary. He's also going to feel pretty insecure and he'll need positive reinforcement from her. I'll be reading part three next and I look forward ot it.
Wow, that was vivid. I was shocked and felt terrible for poor John Sheppard. There's still more he has to suffer through too! Just think, if it was that horrible for John, how horrible it must be for Liz to have to watch it being done to him and being utterly helpless! Back to John though, you're right, rape is a very serious topic and it's mostly goes unreported when it involves the man being raped. It's sad though that it happens at all! I'm glad you wrote a story about this though since it opens people's eyes. Male rape happens more often than people think. I just hope Liz can be there for him cause he's going to need her help to recover from this. I know Liz can do it and I hope she can help Sheappard get through this disturbing time in his life.
Author's Response: I'm sorry I have not yet posted a sequel to this story, LOL!!! I've been extremely busy; having moved to another state to start a new job that requires me to work a large number of hours (12 hour shifts)while I'm doing orientation (which lasts 8 months) and then I will finally be eligible to cut back on the hours I have to work! I can't wait till that day arrives, because I really do miss writing stories! It was a good source for my stress relief, and I am sadly unable to do any writing right now with everything that is going on! However, I am extremely flattered that you are looking forward to reading the sequel to this story! I don't know if this helps, but I wil tell you that I had started on it before I moved and got a pretty good chunk of it accomplished; and I promise to finish it as soon as my crazy life allows me to! Thank you again for your interest in reading a sequel to 'Inhuman', and I am truly sorry that I am not yet finished and unable to post the sequel yet! I hope that you will still be interested in reading it once I finally do manage to finish and post the sequel! Thanks again! Take care, LOL!!!
I just read your story and I loved it. It was soooo good. I loved it when
his team found out, they talked to Sheppard and I even cried when I came to the part where Teyla told him everything. Your really did a good job !! Greetings from Germany!!
Author's Response: WOW!!! Thank you very much for your kind words, and I am so glad that you enjoyed it! I'm truly blushing... And I'm flattered that my story caused you to have such a strong emotional response and made you cry for our beloved Sheppard! Thanks again for your awesome review!!! LOL to you in Germany!!!
i just wanted to say that i really loved this story. the relationship between john and lizzie was beautifully written. and i couldnt help but notice that you dont have a beta reader. could i jump inthere and say that i'd be happy to help if you needed it.
once again brill story!
Author's Response: Wahoo!!! Thanks for your wonderful reply! I'm grinning from ear to ear, Hee Hee!!! I think John and Elizabeth make an adorable couple, and just had to write a story about them that was filled with a rollercoaster of emotions! My evil plot bunnies also talked me into putting some delicious Shep whumpage, along with some Angst and Despair! And lets not forget the heartbreaking plot with a touch of hope at the end! I hope I accomplished my mission, Hee Hee!!! Anyhoo, that is so kind of you to offer your beta services! I would definitely appreciate the help, but it might be a while before I can get a story to you! Life has been kind of hectic and busy for me lately! I have already started a sequel to 'Inhuman', but it's not finished yet! I also have this other story that I think will be really good, but I don't want to give the plot away on here! Is there an e-mail address you would like me to send my stories to, or would you like me to use the one Command Dynamic has listed? Thanks again for the review, and I hope to hear from you soon! LOL!!! -Maggie-
Wow, execellent story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your reply, especially the "Wow" comment! I was very flatttered, Thank you!!! I'm very glad you enjoyed the story! I hope to post some more strories when I get the chance, and I hope you'll enjoy them just as much! Thanks again for your wonderful reply!!! LOL!!!
This is sooooo good! For the first one you've posted its brilliant, if you don't mind me saying. I liked the physcological side of the story and how the relationships grew. I liked the way it envolved Carson as normally he is just on the side lines although he plays a quite important role. It was very well written. You should post another up. :)
Author's Response: Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!! I'm truly blushing from your wonderful comments! I'm so glad you enjoyed my story, and 'YES', I think Carson plays a crucial character! I love useing him as a comfort character, because it fits him so well! He always seems so concerned for his patients, and shows true sympathy toward them! And lets not forget, I absolutley love whumping Shepard! It really satisfies my appetite! Hope you found it just as delicious, and lets not forget heart-warming! John and Elizabeth make such a cute couple don't they, and John truly does have an unbreakable friendship with his team! I'm hoping to post more stories, and I have several I've been working on for a while! I don't know why I haven't posted them yet! I guess I'm afraid to! I have a manditory Nurses meeting on Thursday, and then I have the weekend off (First weekend off in a long time)! I was considering going through some of my stories, and maybe posting one or two! So be on the lookout for them, and Thanks Again for your wonderful coments! They really made my day, if not year! LOL!!!
This is my second time reading your wonderful story. Im a fanfic addict and a John/Liz addict and I love stories that make me feel real emotion and yours definitely makes me feel a whole range of emotions. Thanks for this wonderful work and please, please write a sequel soon or post some more stories.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review on my story 'INHUMAN'! It really means a great deal to me! You are the only person to send me a review so far, and it's kind of disapointing! I was starting to believe no one liked it! My account shows that just over 300 people have read it, but I have only recieved one review! I hope I get more reviews like yours, and again I really really really appreciated your kind and incouraging words! I'm really glad that you enjoyed my story 'INHUMAN', and hopefully I'll be able to get past the grief of not getting many reviews on it! After moving on, I hope to find the courage to try posting another story. Thanks again for your wonderful review, and I hope I will recieve more from you in my future stories! LOL!!!