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Chapter 2 – John

The door closes, Elizabeth is gone; her quarters are quiet and empty. The pit in my stomach hardens. I force myself to breathe, to regain control. I gulp in air, choking and forcing myself to
breathe.

“Count to ten, John.” I mutter to myself. “Count to ten!” I command. I stand and move towards the door; I hesitate and spin around. “John, get a hold!” I yell at myself. “Count to ten, count to
ten. It will be all right. Count to ten!”

I take three deep breaths and catch my reflection in her mirror. I stare at myself and scowl.

“One!”

“Damn it, John, what were you thinking?” I point at myself in her mirror and angrily take a swipe at myself.

“Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven!” My head feels like it’s ready to explode. “Jesus Christ, John.”

“Eight!”

“Nine!”

“Ten!”

“Fuck, now what are you goin’ to do?” I sink back onto her bed. “Way to go, John. Way to go. What are you goin’ to do, John?” I shake my head. “Idiot, you’re such an idiot, she’s never
going to forgive you.” I hang my head, my temples are pounding, I still can’t breathe, and I am so fucked.

I watched her. I wanted, want, to be a part of that; what she was dreaming. I groan and shake my head. It thrilled me to watch her, to listen to her breathing, to hear her soft moans; my entire
body responded to her and without even touching her, I was ready to explode when her hips arced.

I want to be inside her so badly; I want to be kissing her. I want my tongue to taste her, to explore her mouth, to feel her lips against mine. My stomach churns and my cock pulses as I
imagine what it would be like to be inside her; her warmth, the slight resistance as I enter her, and I exhale from the exhilaration of finely being a part of her. I want to explore her body with
my tongue, my lips. As I move inside her; gently thrusting and sensations build up in me; I want her to look at me and I want to feel connected to her. I want to feel her muscles contracting
against my cock. I want to press into her harder, faster, and realize my breathing is more erratic, more laboured.

I shake myself. “Wake up, John.” I’m warm, small beads of sweat have formed on my ass, my hips are gently thrusting and I can feel my erection pressing against my shorts. I focus on
imagining what it would be to touch her. I just want to touch her and I want her to touch me, to stroke my cheek, my chest, my stomach, and god, my cock. I want her to cup my cock into her
hands and slowly go up and down my shaft, massaging my pre-cum around; up and down, driving me, causing my heart to pound louder and louder.

I want her body against me. I want to touch her with my hands, my fingers. I want to press my stomach against hers and feel our body heat. I imagine what that would be like; I can feel her
against me right now; warm, soft, the smell of her sex with hints of the new shampoo she’s using. I smile as I can feel her wrapped around me, my hands feeling her shoulders, feeling her
back, feeling every muscle around her ribs with my thumbs. I want to feel the curve of her hips, her stomach, her thighs, and her ass.

My stomach trembles and I buckle under the sensations and fall further back on her bed. I can feel my cock subside, the fluids pooling and running down my ass. “Great.” I say to myself.
“Get up and dry yourself off.”

I go to the bathroom and quickly clean myself off. I am not satisfied. I look in the bathroom mirror, my eyes are hooded and dark, every muscle tense and ready to spring, to attack, and to
be angry. The same anger I saw in her eyes.

God, her reaction when she understood what had just happened; the look in her eyes, her mouth tightening, and lookin’ like she was going to be sick to her stomach; ready to scream. My
heart is still pounding; it feels like it is going to explode and I feel sick to my stomach.

“What are you going to do, or even, what are you going to say to her?” I mutter to myself. “I’m goin’ to wait for her, I will wait,” I say to myself, looking around her quarters. “Right here for
her.” I pause for a moment. “And then what?”

I throw the towel into the hamper. “Nothing, there isn’t anything I can say or do right now.” I sigh and look out her window to see the vast ocean. I close my eyes to steady myself and then
looking at myself in her mirror, I quickly turn and leave her quarters and turn towards mine. I weave down and around the various hallways and stairwells, not wanting to run into anyone; my
head, my heart, and my body still feel ready to explode.

“Sheppard to the control room; mission to P3X-339 is a go. Your mission is a go; your team is
waiting for you.”


Chapter End Notes: Chapter 3

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