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Chapter 2 – John

The door closes, Elizabeth is gone; her quarters are quiet and empty. The pit in my stomach hardens. I force myself to breathe, to regain control. I gulp in air, choking and forcing myself to

“Count to ten, John.” I mutter to myself. “Count to ten!” I command. I stand and move towards the door; I hesitate and spin around. “John, get a hold!” I yell at myself. “Count to ten, count to
ten. It will be all right. Count to ten!”

I take three deep breaths and catch my reflection in her mirror. I stare at myself and scowl.


“Damn it, John, what were you thinking?” I point at myself in her mirror and angrily take a swipe at myself.

“Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven!” My head feels like it’s ready to explode. “Jesus Christ, John.”




“Fuck, now what are you goin’ to do?” I sink back onto her bed. “Way to go, John. Way to go. What are you goin’ to do, John?” I shake my head. “Idiot, you’re such an idiot, she’s never
going to forgive you.” I hang my head, my temples are pounding, I still can’t breathe, and I am so fucked.

I watched her. I wanted, want, to be a part of that; what she was dreaming. I groan and shake my head. It thrilled me to watch her, to listen to her breathing, to hear her soft moans; my entire
body responded to her and without even touching her, I was ready to explode when her hips arced.

I want to be inside her so badly; I want to be kissing her. I want my tongue to taste her, to explore her mouth, to feel her lips against mine. My stomach churns and my cock pulses as I
imagine what it would be like to be inside her; her warmth, the slight resistance as I enter her, and I exhale from the exhilaration of finely being a part of her. I want to explore her body with
my tongue, my lips. As I move inside her; gently thrusting and sensations build up in me; I want her to look at me and I want to feel connected to her. I want to feel her muscles contracting
against my cock. I want to press into her harder, faster, and realize my breathing is more erratic, more laboured.

I shake myself. “Wake up, John.” I’m warm, small beads of sweat have formed on my ass, my hips are gently thrusting and I can feel my erection pressing against my shorts. I focus on
imagining what it would be to touch her. I just want to touch her and I want her to touch me, to stroke my cheek, my chest, my stomach, and god, my cock. I want her to cup my cock into her
hands and slowly go up and down my shaft, massaging my pre-cum around; up and down, driving me, causing my heart to pound louder and louder.

I want her body against me. I want to touch her with my hands, my fingers. I want to press my stomach against hers and feel our body heat. I imagine what that would be like; I can feel her
against me right now; warm, soft, the smell of her sex with hints of the new shampoo she’s using. I smile as I can feel her wrapped around me, my hands feeling her shoulders, feeling her
back, feeling every muscle around her ribs with my thumbs. I want to feel the curve of her hips, her stomach, her thighs, and her ass.

My stomach trembles and I buckle under the sensations and fall further back on her bed. I can feel my cock subside, the fluids pooling and running down my ass. “Great.” I say to myself.
“Get up and dry yourself off.”

I go to the bathroom and quickly clean myself off. I am not satisfied. I look in the bathroom mirror, my eyes are hooded and dark, every muscle tense and ready to spring, to attack, and to
be angry. The same anger I saw in her eyes.

God, her reaction when she understood what had just happened; the look in her eyes, her mouth tightening, and lookin’ like she was going to be sick to her stomach; ready to scream. My
heart is still pounding; it feels like it is going to explode and I feel sick to my stomach.

“What are you going to do, or even, what are you going to say to her?” I mutter to myself. “I’m goin’ to wait for her, I will wait,” I say to myself, looking around her quarters. “Right here for
her.” I pause for a moment. “And then what?”

I throw the towel into the hamper. “Nothing, there isn’t anything I can say or do right now.” I sigh and look out her window to see the vast ocean. I close my eyes to steady myself and then
looking at myself in her mirror, I quickly turn and leave her quarters and turn towards mine. I weave down and around the various hallways and stairwells, not wanting to run into anyone; my
head, my heart, and my body still feel ready to explode.

“Sheppard to the control room; mission to P3X-339 is a go. Your mission is a go; your team is
waiting for you.”

Chapter End Notes: Chapter 3

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