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Author's Chapter Notes: It's time for John :)

I’ve been wandering around Atlantis, not really knowing what to do. Usually at this hour I spend my time in Elizabeth’s office eating a late lunch with her or just talking about some stuff. But she was clearly mad at me and I don’t really know why. I mean it’s not like I did something wrong or did I?

Anyway, everything started when I got back from Proculus. Or better to be told, everything started ON Proculus. I went after Chaya, not only to find out why she left or to help her with the Wraith (as it turned out they were there) but mainly because she was a hot alien woman who wanted me. Yeah I know, McKay would tell me I’m a Kirk, but really it’s nice if a woman like Chaya wants you. So we defeated the Wraith; well she did the majority of job, but I helped and it was when I went looking for her; to get some answers when it happened. We shared some sort of intimate connection on a higher plane, I mean it was freaky, but at the same time mind blowing, literally. But when it had happened, I had thought about another woman and spoke her name.

Not only I was embarrassed that it happened, but it had irritated me that I had to cross half the Pegasus Galaxy to find out I’m in love in my own boss. Yes, I love Doctor Elizabeth Weir and I know she’s way out of my league. She’s smart, intelligent, kind, a little bit reserved but her warm heart is filled with love, and above all she’s really beautiful. See, not in my league. I usually date women who are the complete opposite of her; I mean they are sexy and empty.

Ok, but back to the topic. I love my boss and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I just walk into her office and tell her, ‘Hey Liz, I love you.’ We are friends, co-workers. Besides why would she look at me, when she could have just about anyone she chooses? It’s just not right. So I decided that as she will never want to be with me, I will have to bury those feelings deep down inside me, and the best way to do this is to avoid her.

I’m not as good as she is with the poker face so I know if I spend time with her like I used to do, she will figure out pretty quickly that I love her and then what? She will look at me with pity and say she’s flattered, but she doesn’t feel the same. Oh no, I have my pride; avoiding her is much better solution. I stopped bringing her lunch and coffee and spending every minute of my time in her company, but she is still the boss and I so I do have to work with her. During briefings I no longer sit next to her, but instead between Teyla and Ford and opposite Dr Weir. When the briefing ends I’m generally the first to leave, not really brothering with the rest of them. If anyone has noticed, so far no-one has said anything.

I turned left and found myself in the corridor heading towards the mess hall. Taking a few steps forward someone bumped into my body. The auburn curls and red T-shirt caused me to swallow deeply.

“Dr Weir.” Biting her upper lip and without even acknowledging my presence, she looked at her tablet and quickly left the hallway. I ran my hand through the hair.
“What happen to her?” I heard familiar voice and few seconds later Rodney and Ford joined me.
“I have no idea.” I said as we went into the mess hall. “So are you two ready to have a little fun after lunch?”
“Really Sheppard? Golf!?”
“Hey, you can always join Beckett fishing!” I said, ignoring Rodney’s moan.

Chapter End Notes: TBC

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