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Story Notes: SGA is not mine, I'm just borrowing the characters.
Author's Chapter Notes: Ok, so this is first chapter and it's all about Elizbeth. I hope you like it. Please leave something behind.


It was late afternoon when I came into the mess hall. I took a sandwich and a cup of coffee from the table before turning back. The majority of Atlantis’ personnel were back in work, so there were not many people sitting at the tables, eating their lunch. Taking a sip of my favourite hot drink, I headed into the control room smiling and looked up at gigantic blue ring that had been silent for some time now; Major Sheppard’s team was not due back for another three hours. They had gone to the Alpha Site to sort out a problem with the generator and John wanted to check all the equipment and skeleton personnel which had been stationed there. Of course under normal circumstances I would not have sent him, but after their last mission…

Yes, I am still mad at him because he went after Chaya. He didn’t even hesitate, and truth to be told he flew to Proculus before I had a chance to blink. I know that she was young, beautiful, sexy and well horny (You think I didn’t see how she was all over him when he was showing her Atlantis?), but come on… he was behaving like a dog in heat, not like a mature military commander of MY city!

Ok, ok but back to what I was saying… I would not normally have let them go on this sort of mission, but he was driving me crazy. No, not crazy… Rodney makes me crazy when he’s going on and on about some important report which has twenty pages of techno-babble I don’t understand. Major Sheppard made me furious. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I love him.

Shit! Did I just say what I think I said? Doesn’t matter. I’m a grown woman and it’s not a crime to fall in love with a handsome man, is it? Well normally it’s not, but in my case it is. I’m the leader of an expedition to another galaxy, in love with her 2IC. Gosh, I don’t know if I could fall lower! We have been friends for a long time; after all without the possibility of returning back to Earth, people did some bonding. So yeah, we are friends, just friends, nothing more. I was…am…his boss. But somehow, and I don’t know when, I started to like him (by that I do not mean ‘like’ as in a friend, but you know ‘like’ as in more than friends) and care about him more than I should. Far too many sleepless nights have been spent in my office or on the balcony thinking about him and worrying every time he does not return on time.

So we established that I have certain feeling for John. NO, not John! Major Sheppard. I am still mad at him after all, and calling him by his name is not helping me to stay mad. Do you want to know when I first realized I love him? I mean those feelings were only in my subconscious, but it all came to me two days ago, when he arrived from mission with her. At first I was just irritated that he did that without asking me, after all I am the boss here, but once we discovered she was an Ancient I was mad that she had been lying to us the whole time and didn’t even want to help. When I found out (thanks to Rodney) that John had not only shown her around, but had also taken her to one of the balconies for a date, I was disappointed and…surprise, surprise…jealous. After she left, I knew I should have felt some kind of relief, but I didn’t. ‘Why?’ I hear you ask. That’s simple, because John went after her, as if she was the only one that matter to him. In that moment I knew I was in love with him and was going to lose him. Funny, how’s that you can lose someone who never was yours. Well I can…

Anyway, after leaving my office, I headed to the South Pier where I had found my own secluded spot involving a small room with the balcony. Of course nobody knew about it; it was only my secret. Sitting down on the floor, I looked out at my amazing city. My heart was breaking; I was in love with my best friend, and I knew he would never feel the same about me. I wanted to cry but the tears just would not come. I really do have ice in my veins, I thought.

I don’t know how long I was there, but when I came back to my office, he was already waiting for me, sitting and grinning. Frowning, I headed to my desk and sat down without looking at him. I opened the first report and pretend to read.

Elizabeth?” he said. I looked up at him, trying to keep my poker face. I think he knew I was angry because he stopped smiling and looked down.
“What Major? Do you have an urgent matter or are you just intending to keep me away from my work?”
“I… nothing. I’ll leave you alone, as you wish.” With that he left.

I made up a plan while I was sitting in my secret place; it was right thing to do, avoiding him, or more importantly, avoiding those feelings. After all he’s Kirk, as Rodney likes to call him, a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type. He is not a man who is faithful to a woman, especially when he’s exploring a galaxy full of young, free, beautiful and willing women.

Chapter End Notes: TBC

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