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Author's Chapter Notes: They'd treated it like just another day, like a normal mission with every expectation of coming home. But he was going into the heart of Wraith territory.


The Wraith were coming. Henderson knew it. The Wraith half-breed in their midst had picked up rumours during his travels, and he'd come with a wave of survivors from a Wraith attack, to Atlantis, to offer his help. He'd proven his loyalty to them long ago, and with Frasier's help, he'd controlled his hunger. Elizabeth privately wondered if he gave in to it once in a while, but it was her nature to be pessimistic, deep inside where no-one saw. She never tried to stop the small voice of suspicious in the back of her head. In a hostile galaxy, it kept her prepared.

Henderson had briefed them, and then Sheppard had gathered his team, deliberately leaving out Harrison and Wakefield, the marines he normally liked backing him. Both had children under a year old, and John knew that where he was going, there was a slim to none chance of coming back.

They had three days, McKay was building a transceiver the Wraith wouldn't detect. It was a one shot deal, the power requirements would burn it out in three minutes, but he was trying to extend that. It sent a signal, encrypted and undetected, through subspace on a changing wavelength. Unless you knew the frequency pattern and had a pre-programmed transceiver on the other end, you couldn't pick up the whole transmission. It was enough to get a signal back to Atlantis, enough to get them the information they needed.

If no one made it back.

Everyone was in a state of high alert, Alpha had been warned and personnel on Atlantis were told to pack a single bag of things they couldn't bear to leave behind. It wasn't the first time, and Elizabeth hoped, in a strange way, that it wouldn't be the last.

If it was, the likliehood would be that they had lost Atlantis.

She'd kept it together all day, through debriefs and meetings, dropping in on McKay with reports on the baby's medical status. Jennifer wouldn't leave his side, and Rodney couldn't leave the lab to check on either of them. She'd alleviated his worry so he could work through.

It wasn't a position she envied him for. She could only hope that she and John would never find themselves in the same situation. But when she dropped in on the infirmary on the second day, Keller had news for her that shocked her to the core.

They hadn't even thought about a family yet, but part of Henderson's debrief included the reason why so many colonies were being attacked. The Wraith were systematically attacking the Atlantean's allies. As one crisis had followed another and all attempts to meet under the accords of the Pegasus Treaty were shunned, she had simply lost track of mundane matters. By the time Henderson arrived and she quit offworlding to switch to their new plans, it was quite simply too late.

''Lisabeth!' John hailed her across the infirmary, his expression grave, 'I thought you'd be down here. How they doing?' He nodded towards a quiet corner where the littlest McKay slept in his incubator and Jennifer leant over a nearby gurney, tending a child who had come in with the Ke'lor suvivors that morning.

'We lost four more, so we have thirty-two out of three hundred and five. Of course there could be more on the planet. Jenni and the baby are both doing fine, I was just about to go down to Rodney's lab. Are the preparations all made?'

'Yeah, we just 'Gated the majority of the survivors back to Alpha, they have more room to deal with them there, better resources for permenant relocation.'

'Let's hope it's not permanent,' Elizabeth murmured. For a brief moment she was tempted to tell him, but not here, not now, in the bustle of the infirmary. She headed for the exit, waving at him to follow her. 'Come on, we need to check on McKay.'

The rest of the day passed in a blur, and when she stepped, exhausted, into the shower in their quarters, she finally knew why the past few days had taken their toll. But she waited until he'd stepped out of the bathroom and joined her on the balcony outside their quarters, before speaking.

'You've been quiet,' he turned his back on the ocean, leaning against the rail to watch her face.

'I saw Jenni today,' her voice was low, almost conversational. He wondered where the conversation was leading, Elizabeth didn't usually approach things at an angle, not on a personal level at least.

'I know.' He waited for her to go on.

'No,' she turned to face him, 'I mean I went to see Dr Keller. I thought maybe I was slightly anaemic, or the headaches were stress, but it wasn't.' His stomach turned, her expression belied the news she was about to deliver.

'I'm pregnant, John.'

She couldn't say anymore, she found herself pulled against him, warm arms wrapped tightly around her. He kissed his way down to her lips, and all Elizabeth could do was hold on, forgetting the pain of her situation in the feel of his mouth on hers. It was a long moment before he broke away. When he did, he held her by the shoulders, leaning down slightly to look directly into her face.

'Lizzie, I promise. If I can make it back, I will.' He'd already told her this, last night, and he would again before he stepped into the PuddleJumper. She knew him.

But his chances were even less than those of his team. He'd order them to leave him behind, but John wouldn't do that himself, not if he could bring anf of his team home alive. It was his duty, more than that, it was a tenant, one of a very few that made up the core of who he was.

And asking him to betray that would be like refusing part of who he was. She ached to do it, but in the end, she kept the words silenced. But he understood, heard the unspoken and pulled her back against him. The tears fell then, hot and fast. When they cleared, she looked up and his own eyes glimmered with unshed pain.

When she awoke the next morning, the bed beside her was empty. She blinked in the bright light of the sun coursing into the room and rolled over. He was sitting in a chair near the window, watching her. When her eyes met his, he smiled.

'I guess I'll have someone to read War and Peace to now. We should talk to the Athosians, and Zelenka, both cultures have very good names. He has a sister named Sachenka. Did you know that?

She shook her head, sitting up in the bed and wrapping her arms around her knees, watching him.

'You know my mother's name was Paula, but I wouldn't recommend it. Even she didn't like it,' a wry laugh and she finally smiled. 'This is a good thing 'Lisabeth. The best.' The familiar half-smile, and that boyish charm shone in his face, 'well, next to you of course.'

'Of course,' she was nearly laughing now.

'Hey, no giggling,' he rose, came over to the bed and sank down next to her. 'I mean it,' he insisted, lifting a hand to cup her face, 'I love you,' and he kissed her, trailing a hand down between them, 'and I love this.'

She folded a hand over his and kissed him again. 'I was an only child,' she said, 'don't really want to repeat that with the next generation. So that means we get to do this twice. You up for that?'

'Anytime,' he grinned.

They'd treated it like just another day, like a normal mission with every expectation of coming home. But he was going into the heart of Wraith territory. If he made it back, it would likely be to collect reinforcements and use the intelligence they had gathered to make a strike at the Wraith themselves.

'Don't worry Lizzie!' Henderson slapped Sheppard on the back, 'I'll bring his sorry ass back home. Or would you rather I marooned him somewhere, give you a chance to do better.'

'No thanks, I'd like all of you home in one piece. Got that?'

'Yes ma'am!' With a sloppy salute, Henderson followed the rest of the team from the briefing room towards the 'Gateroom. A couple of the soldiers split off, heading in different directions. Sheppard had told them to meet him in the hanger in fifteen, unspoken permission to go make their goodbyes.

Like he was making his now.

They walked out to the balcony, watching the waves roll by before he turned to her. Digging into one of the numerous small pockets in his vest, he pulled out a small box and placed it in her hands, folding her fingers over it so she couldn’t open it.

'I went to the Athosian market on the mainland a couple of weeks ago, found a blacksmith there. He works in silver too and his wife makes jewellery. Nice couple. Very helpful,' his voice was tight, like it hurt to speak, 'want you to hold for me. I'll need it when I get back. We both will.'

She nodded, and he let go. 'Don't open it,' the half-smile was back, tugging at the corner of his mouth, he was back to his usual cocky, charming self. At that she could smile. They kept their relationship out of work, away from the centre of Atlantis, but out here was different and she knew now why he'd led her out here instead of walking her to the hanger.

He was leaving her here.

'You better get down to the infirmary soon, I want a picture of McKay's face when he holds his son. I can use that to wind him up for years.'

'Like the fainting thing?' she tried to smile again, it wasn't working so well.

'Yeah, like that.' He settled the strap to his weapon, checking his pockets and the new transmitter on his wrist, the power crystal tucked away. He'd have to connect the two, for now though, it'd only get in the way. He didn't stall, simply kissed her, once, with no sense of urgency behind it. When he strode away he glanced back only once, lifting his hand before disappearing from sight.

Alone, Elizabeth looked back at the ocean, she wouldn't watch the 'Jumper 'Gate out of Atlantis. She didn't often watch them leave, she had at first, but in the end she had only looked down on the 'Gateroom when her teams were returning home. Instead she watched the waves, fighting down tears. It took some minutes before she was calm again, longer than she expected it to take. When she left the office, activity had returned to normal, her absence wondered at by very few, the mere fact of it a calming effect on those who watched Puddlejumper go.

If Elizabeth Weir was complacent, so could they be.

She had a lot to do, but the first place Elizabeth headed was the infirmary, she had a promise and an appointment to keep.

It was six days before the transmission finally came. The receiver had been monitored day in and day out. Rodney was taking his turn, scowling as he double-checked the frequencies, the program and rigged up a second in case the first failed.

'Atlantis. Atlantis. This is Sheppard,' his voice was cracked and hoarse, slightly distorted by a misreading of the frequencies. Someone called for Weir whilst Rodney cleaned up the signal and sent a reply. Just a pulse, no words, but Sheppard got the message. McKay had already shown him how to use the transceiver.

Elizabeth joined him as John's voice filled the control room once more. All around them, everything else was hushed as everyone strained to hear.

'The Wraith have.... alliances.' He broke off for a moment, 'the Asurans. They're heading for 'Lantis. Can't... stop them. Evacuate and... set the self-destruct-' he broke off, breathing heavily. Suddenly Elizabeth could hear footsteps running, heading for them. Dr Keller raced into the control room, catching herself against Rodney, listening to the harsh breathing and other sounds that came through the speaker.

'Can I talk to him?'

Rodney nodded, the pulse had been for time-saving, but it didn't sound as if Sheppard were under fire, nor as if he were going anywhere.

'Colonel Sheppard! Can you hear me?'

'Jen... hey.'

'Colonel. Are you hurt?'

A pause. 'All dead... was an honour...' He was pain, that was obvious, but Keller needed more to work with, including first aid equipment. Elizabeth leaned forward, speaking into the transmitter.

'John? Can you get to the 'Jumper?'

Another pause, 'no can do. Destroyed. Wraith. Ship.' His words were coming in gasps now. 'Love you. Both.' For a few seconds all they heard was breathing, and then the transmission cut off, leaving only white noise behind.

'The power crystal burned out,' it was McKay. Keller was standing there, the look on her face horrified at the sound of a man, one of the men under her care and a close friend no less, dying over the air.

But Elizabeth was already moving past that. The mask she'd worn for the past six days almost melded to her. She couldn't let it go. Not now. Not in the face of this new information.

'So. The Asurans survived.' She turned to Clarke, her second-in-command on base and head of security within the walls of Atlantis. The woman's expression was grave, but she revealed nothing of what she might have been thinking behind dark brown eyes. 'Start mobilising security teams, close off and secure all the outer sections of the City and prepare to evacuate all but essential personnel.'

Clarke nodded, turning away and Elizabeth switched her attention to Pierson, sitting at the 'Gate console. 'Dial Alpha, I'll appraise them of our situation and then I want you to co-ordinate with their 'Gate control to let through the evacuating teams.'

She turned to Rodney as the 'Gate began to stir to life, 'get the research teams together, evacuate all but the personnel you'll need to salvage everything Atlantis has to offer. Rip it out of the walls if you have to. Anything you can't take, set charges for a remote detonation. If they stop the self-destruct, I want to leave them an empty, echoing shell of a city. I want them to have nothing they can use.'

With a watery whooshing sound, the wormhole to Alpha established, but Elizabeth ignored it, turning to Keller, 'get the medical staff to ready your patients for transfer to the Alpha site, and then get back up here to brief Alpha's medics in full on what they'll be receiving.'

Jennifer looked shocked, but she managed a nod. Elizabeth fixed her with stern green eyes, 'Jenni, I need your help now. Get down there and get your patients to safety. Got it?'

Her words reflected Jennifer's duty, what lay at the heart of her as a doctor. Determination slowly surfaced on her face, 'got it.' She and Rodney turned away, separating outside the control room, exchanging one quick look before they set about their tasks.

'Dr Weir,' it was Pierson, 'Alpha are receiving you,' and Elizabeth went back to work.

By the time their long range scanners showed signs of Hive and Asuran activity, they had evacuated all of the survivors, most of the patients and a large part of the technology. Elizabeth had given into her grief only once, that first night when Rodney came looking for her and found her sitting in the corner of the balcony outside her office, out of sight of everyone. She had taken just five minutes to herself, but Rodney forestalled her return to work and taken her back to her quarters. After she'd finally fallen asleep, he'd gone to the infirmary and let go of his own grief, holding his wife tight in his arms.

He'd awoken her with a coffee the next morning, his expression set before returning to work. Neither of them would let go again, not until the City was safe or in ruins.

There was little enough else to do except wait for the rest of the tech and the last of the patients to be sent through. Elizabeth had already sent through all the personnel and mission logs, plus her personal diaries, to the Alpha site. Another wave went through, then another, and then a wormhole established into the City. No reassuring signal came through, the iris held and then the ships jumped.

No one knew what kind of technology they used, or if they simply fooled the scanners with echoes. But the Wraith and Asurans were suddenly in orbit and bombarding the City. Elizabeth was in the 'Gateroom, with the last of the patients due to be evacuated and Jonathan in an ad-hoc incubator. His one was wired into the systems of Atlantis.

She'd come close to losing it when Jennifer told her his name, and why.

Although she had stayed this long, Clarke, McKay and Keller had over-ruled her insistence to remain with them. She was going next.

Don't me an idiot Elizabeth,' Rodney hadn't been in the mood for heroics, and he'd learned a thing or two from Sheppard. 'Going down with the ship isn't anybody's plan, and it's not bloody honourable when you're killing his kid with you. Get the children out of here, Lizzie.'

'You sound like John,' but her tone had been harsh, not amused.

'I know. And since he's not here to shove you through that 'Gate, I damn well will.'

But then all hell had broken loose. And now, with Atlantis shaking, Keller bundled Jonathan into Elizabeth's arms. 'I won't abandon my patients, Lizzie, but I won't abandon my son either. Take him and run. Try to get to a 'Jumper. We'll try to buy some time until the reinforcements arrive.'

When the Phoenix or the Thor arrived, they could beam everyone aboard. The last few patients couldn't run anywhere, so Jennifer was staying with them. Rodney was in the control room to ensure the self-destruct went through, or the shields held until help arrived, whichever happened first; and the rest were military personnel, here only to defend the one person who could blow up the City and keep it out of Asuran hands.

For the first time during her command of Atlantis, Elizabeth realised there was nothing she could do. So, she took Jonathan, and ran.

Up in the control room, Rodney watched her signal disappear into the labyrinth of Atlantis. His heart nearly stopped when he saw a Wraith beam through a weak spot in the shields. When the alien's signature disappeared and Elizabeth's and Jonathan's still pulsed strongly, he reinforced the shields in that area and locked down other parts of Atlantis to reroute the power.

The Phoenix and the Thor never made it in time.

Rodney McKay sent a last message to Elizabeth Weir and watched her life sign disappear into a room he'd been cataloguing before the world had turned upside down. If he had been right... her life sign disappeared and he breathed a sigh of relief, turning back to the control room where the last Atlanteans crouched behind a forcefield, weapons at the ready.

Jennifer stood beside him and he told her what he'd seen, passed along that flicker of hope to the others. The last children and civilians of Atlantis were safe. McKay regretted dying, but not anywhere near as much as he would have regretted losing his son, and John's, to the Wraith.

A highpitched whine was building, the last funeral dirge of Atlantis. No ships appeared on the scanner and he knew he'd made the right choice. He reached out, and her fingers wound through his as the world exploded.


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