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The Phantom of Atlantis

For a moment, as Chaya’s lips met his, the near-instinctive powers granted to her by her Ascended status manipulating his senses in ways he was certain were instinctive, John could almost believe that he was kissing another woman, a woman with paler skin and shorter hair…

But, as much as he wished it was otherwise- as much as he wished that he could genuinely experience the ‘reward’ that he would regard it as to genuinely kiss the woman who had given his life meaning so long ago- the illusion was just that; for all its detail, it was still an illusion.

He didn’t even hesitate; as soon as his brain had been given time to process what had happened, John had stepped away from Chaya, shaking his head resolutely even as he looked regretfully at her.

“No,” he said simply, raising one hand as Chaya looked at him with a slightly surprised expression; rejecting someone as powerful as she was might not be the smart thing to do, but it was what John felt he should do. “I…”

“You cannot do this,” Chaya said, her tone giving no trace of how she might feel about that fact as she looked back at him.

Somehow, he wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse. As much as he appreciated her apparently being so understanding about his reaction, he’d almost have found it… easier to relate to her if she’d been more obviously angry at him; he’d grown ‘used’ to reacting to that kind of response after years of fighting for his life…

“Yeah… I can’t,” John replied, shaking his head apologetically as he looked back at her. “You’re… well, you’re a very… interesting person, don’t get me wrong- you’re the first Ascended I’ve ever met in this part of the galaxy, I’ll tell you that for nothing-, it’s just that… well…”

He trailed off, uncertain how phrase what he was about to say- he wasn’t used to talking with anyone about how he felt; it had been so long since he’d had any kind of conversation that wasn’t either bantering with the Wraith or discussing recent battles-, but Chaya, evidently sensing his discomfort, finished the sentence for him.

“There is another in your life,” she said simply.

John sighed in relief.

“Yeah…” he confirmed, nodding at her assumption. At least he didn’t have to worry about figuring out what he was going to say to her about his feelings; as much as he tried to talk it over in his ‘conversations’ with the body of the elder Elizabeth, he still found it hard to really say how he felt about Elizabeth to anyone but himself. “There is somebody else. She doesn’t know I feel… that way… about her, of course- hell, it’s… well, ‘complicated’ isn’t even close to being the word for it; you’d need a term way bigger than that to describe this whole mess- and she might not even feel the same way about me… but…”

“I understand,” Chaya said, an understanding smile on her face as she looked back at him. “You are aware of what I am… capable of… as I am, and yet you would still wait for she whom you care for when you do not even know if she reciprocates your love?”

John smiled slightly.

“Might seem crazy, I know, but that’s me all over; a bit of a glutton for punishment when it comes to emotional issues,” he said, forcing a slight chuckle before he assumed a more solemn expression. “Besides… well, I know enough about Ascension to know what you’re probably about to suggest we do- had a lot of time to read on my hands while I was here-, and I just… I can’t…”

He sighed. “I can’t… I can’t give you what you’d give me if we… did that. I already-”

“You have already given her everything, even if she does not know it,” Chaya finished for him, her smile growing softer as she looked at the man before her. “You truly do love her, don’t you?”

John simply stared silently back at Chaya for a moment, fully aware of how evident his discomfort was when discussing this particular topic while equally aware that the woman before him would see through any kind of lie he might tell.

“She… she saved me,” he said finally, shaking his head slightly as he looked back at her. “It’s… hell, she gave my life meaning when all I had was nothing; it’s kind of hard for me not to love her after all that.”

Chaya smiled once again.

“You are… fortunate to have someone like her in your life,” she said, looking at him with an understanding expression, before she sighed slightly. “I only wish that I could do more for you…”

“‘Do more’?” John repeated, looking curiously at her. “What do you mean by that? I mean, from what I heard you saved Colonel Sumner’s team and pretty much vaporised a couple of Wraith darts; it doesn’t seem to me like there’s much you can’t do-”

“While I am permitted to defend Proculus by the Others, I can take no action in the defence of those not of my world; if any other people came to my world, the others would stop me from taking action,” Chaya explained, looking regretfully at him. “While the expedition’s goals are doubtless commendable, and Doctor Weir and yourself have shown me that you genuinely wish to help others in this galaxy, my people would never permit it. I can offer you and these people nothing more than what I have done already; even simply saving Colonel Sumner and his team from the Wraith Darts was pushing the limits of what I am permitted to do. I cannot offer the expedition anything more than what I have already.”

“Ah,” John said, nodding briefly in understanding as he looked sympathetically at her.

He had to admit, in that context, he understood how he could probably be seen as having the better end of the deal right now. He might have spent the better part of the last few years with only himself for company- the Wraith he killed hardly counted, and the only times he met other humans were brief visits where he never dared to stay long in case- but at least he was able to actually take action whenever and wherever he wanted to do it.

It wasn’t much, he freely admitted- twenty years of training and only five Wraith hive-ships to show for it; not exactly the stuff that legends were made of, in his opinion-, but at least he could do something…

“Well,” he said at last, as he indicated the corner of the room where he had entered- really, it was amazing the amount of secret passages were available for the inhabitants’ use in Atlantis once you know they were there-, “I’d best be off; can’t exactly stay in one place too long, you know.”

“Must you remain?” Chaya asked, looking quizzically at John.

John blinked.

“Well… I don’t exactly have much choice,” he said, looking uncertainly back at her. “I mean, the Stargate’s not exactly that accessible now…”

“There are… other means… by which you could depart,” Chaya said, taking another step towards him. “I have seen the time you spent among those my people provided sanctuary for… you are aware of how to accomplish it-”

“Not happening,” John countered, stepping back from her as he vehemently shook his head. “It’s a nice idea, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just… that’s not my thing, really; sitting around and contemplating my own enlightenment?”

He shook his head grimly. “Even if I can’t take any direct action right now, I can still take some action by helping these people; that’s more than I could do if I did… that.”

“And, again, you could not be with her if you took such an action,” Chaya said.

John sighed.

“Y’know, this is why telepaths make me uncomfortable; you make everything sound so… selfish,” he groaned as he looked at her.

“On the contrary,” Chaya replied, smiling reassuringly at him. “You forsake access to ultimate power because, at heart, you recognise that you do not desire it; you do not seek to have power, but simply seek to be worthy of she whom you love.”

For a moment, John simply stood in silence, reflecting silently on what Chaya had just said to him, before he smiled back at her.

“Well… that sounds better than what I said earlier,” he said, nodding slightly at Chaya in gratitude. “Thanks.”

With that, he turned around and began to walk back towards the corner where he had first appeared within the room, pausing briefly to turn back and look at Chaya one last time. “Sorry I can’t do anything more for you than listen.”

“On the contrary,” Chaya replied, smiling slightly at him reassuringly. “It has been… refreshing to talk to you.”

For a brief moment, the man who was seen by the Pegasus Galaxy as the closest thing they had seen for the last ten thousand years to an actual Ancient simply stared silently at the first living example of that species he had ever met, his eyes silently reflecting her gratitude at this brief conversation the two of them had shared…

Then, with a brief nod, John turned around and vanished into the shadowed corner, his black cloak concealing him from view as he ducked down into the small passage that connected him to the city’s secret passages.

He’d meant what he’d said; it had been… nice… to talk to someone who knew what it was like to be alone.

But, in the end, nothing could ever really have happened between them; even if she hadn’t been a being of pure energy, his heart was just…

As pathetic as it might sound, he’d already met his perfect woman, and he just could not love another until his love for her had ended, which was looking increasingly like it wouldn’t.

If her apparent interest in medical doctors couldn’t stop it- the ‘first’ Elizabeth had told him all about her engagement to a guy called Simon Wallace back on Earth; he’d just generally not thought much about it because, in all fairness, how serious could the relationship have been if she’d left him behind like that?-, he somehow doubted that anything could stop him feeling the way he felt about Elizabeth Weir…

There were times when Elizabeth realised that her approach to her temporary duty as head of Stargate Command had left her woefully unprepared for the reality of the situations that she would subsequently encounter when put in charge of Atlantis; at the time she’d been so focused on trying to arrange a diplomatic solution to the problem of the Goa’uld that she’d completely shut down all regular Stargate activity, thus leaving her with nothing to focus on but the negotiations.

Even with Doctor Jackson helping her to better understand the Goa’uld mentality, her time at the SGC had simply consisted of trying to talk to an alien race who fundamentally had no interest in anything other than conquest; other than that, after the initial crisis of Anubis’s attack was over all they had to worry about was making sure the Goa’uld didn’t try anything.

Here in Atlantis, on the other hand…

When Elizabeth saw Doctor McKay walking towards her office, she knew even before he started speaking that the situation with Chaya was only about to become more complicated.

“You have to see this,” he said as he walked into the office, once again displaying the same ‘getting-to-the-point’ attitude that Elizabeth was never certain how she felt about.

“Did you sleep last night?” she asked as she looked critically up at the Canadian, even as she stood up; if McKay wanted her to see something, she might as well get it over with now and spare herself the hassle of dealing with it later.

“No,” McKay replied; Elizabeth wasn’t sure if she should feel worried or relieved that he actually sounded excited about something as he walked through the control room towards a laptop connected up to an Ancient console.

“This is the data from the biometric sensors,” the Canadian scientist continued, evidently declining to elaborate on the reasons for his lack of his sleep, as he sat down in front of the laptop. “I can’t tell you exactly what all these signatures mean, but look at this.”

As Elizabeth bent over his shoulder to better study the screen, he indicated two readouts displayed before him, one of them a simple waving line while the other one displayed what looked to Elizabeth like multiple lines following a similar pattern on a larger scale.

“These are ours,” McKay continued, indicating the lower line before his finger moved to the upper set of multiple lines, “and this… this is hers. There’s a distinct difference.”

“She was born on another planet in another galaxy…” Elizabeth pointed out, trying to conceal her frustration. Why was it that at least half of her senior staff seemed determined to find fault with people whose only ‘crime’ seemed to be a desire for privacy or secrecy? It was hardly like it was illegal to keep things quite when you didn’t even know everything about the other party; just because they’d had one bad experience with the Genii shouldn’t colour their perceptions of everyone in this galaxy…

“They’re different from Teyla’s too,” McKay said, cutting off that possible line of defence before Elizabeth could take it any further.

“That doesn’t mean-” she began, hoping against hope that she could say something that would make Mckay see reason.

“Elizabeth,” he cut in, turning to look at her as he spoke in a low voice, “she’s not what she seems to be.”

“I sense nothing but a very honest and spiritual person,” Elizabeth said, as she looked pointedly at McKay. She was starting to realise how tough it must have been for General O’Neill to convince the program to accept Teal’c during the early days of the SGC; why was it that there were always at least some people who worried that everything that wasn’t human would automatically turn out to be a threat?

“Alright,” McKay said after a moment’s pause, “there may be a way to find out. You’re opening negotiations with her this morning, right?”

Elizabeth nodded, already wondering where the scientist was going with this new line of questioning; right now, she just hoped that it would be something that would at least satisfy him without giving Chaya the wrong impression.

“OK,” McKay continued, “well, let me sit in. I’ll pretend to be taking notes on the laptop when really I’ll be scanning her for any anomalies: radiation, EM scans, energy signatures. That way, if I am crazy, you and I are the only ones who need to know. What’s the harm?”

After staring silently at McKay for a few moments, Elizabeth nodded in resignation.

“All right,” she said, nodding briefly at him. “Just remember; be discreet.”

“Hey, I’m Mr Discreet!” McKay protested, looking indignantly at her.

“Also,” Elizabeth continued, folding her arms as she looked pointedly at McKay, deciding to ignore that “don’t jump to conclusions just because she isn’t 100% human; if that machine was just letting us know that she’s not like us without actually identifying her as a threat, you could jeopardise our attempts to establish a treaty.”

“What?” McKay said, looking in confusion at her. “But… Elizabeth, if she isn’t human-”

“Given that we haven’t expressly asked her ‘are you human?’, it’s perfectly possible that she’s simply a species with a physical resemblance to humans who is unaware that she’s different from us in some areas,” Elizabeth pointed out, continuing to glare at McKay as she spoke. “The SGC has encountered more than one non-human race who turned out to be perfectly friendly once any initial misunderstandings had been cleared up; you can clarify whether or not Chaya’s human if you want, but you are not to assume she’s a threat if the answer is ‘no’ without further information. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” McKay nodded.

As Elizabeth sat in the conference room opposite Chaya, Teyla and Colonel Sumner sitting on either side of their visitor while McKay sat opposite her, she could only hope that McKay remembered to do what she’d told him and avoid freaking out if his scans confirmed his theory that Chaya wasn’t human. She might understand his reasons for concern, but at the same time she wasn’t willing to encourage those under her command to judge everything based solely on the idea that it wasn’t human; if they started assuming the worst of everything just because it wasn’t the same species there was no telling whether it would end.

“I admit to being impressed by most of what I’ve read of Earth religions,” Chaya said, looking around the table at the Atlantis staff gathered before her as she spoke. “The Torah, the Koran, the Talmud, the Bible; many of them reveal a diverse and deep desire to grasp the divine.”

“So, we do have something we can offer you,” Elizabeth asked, trying not to sound too eager; given the failure of their previous attempts to win Chaya’s support, any kind of progress was welcome at this point…

“But I’ve also been reading about your history,” Chaya admitted, her expression the same neutral one that gave no indication of what she was thinking as she looked at Elizabeth. “Even now, somewhere on your planet, you are at war.”

“I made no attempt to hide that fact from you,” Elizabeth replied, her tone remaining neutral; Chaya was at least still listening, even if her last sentence left Elizabeth with a renewed uncertainty about her chances of success. “Chaya, we are definitely not perfect.”

“There’s a lot about you as a people that I find disturbing,” Chaya replied, remaining frustratingly neutral in her tone; if she had at least sounded somewhat distasteful Elizabeth would have had something to work with.

“Can that not be said of any people?” Teyla asked, looking uncertainly at Chaya.

“No,” Chaya replied, shaking her head. “Every soul on Proculus is free from the hatred and the anger people from Earth seem to feel for each other.”

“While I acknowledge that not everyone on Earth is perfect, you can hardly judge the entire species based on the actions of some,” Elizabeth continued; even if Chaya’s words suggested that it was unlikely she would permit them on Proculus, she had to at least make the attempt. “Besides, given our current situation Earth doesn’t play a part in these negotiations. I’m not talking about Earth’s inhabitants; I’m talking about every member of my expedition team here in Atlantis, and I’m talking about the friends we’ve met since coming here, like Teyla’s people.”

“There are some among you- yourself included, Doctor Weir- that I know Athar will welcome with open arms,” Chaya said, leaning forward while briefly glancing at McKay in a manner that left Elizabeth slightly uncomfortable before her gaze shifted to Colonel Sumner. “But there are others…”

As much as Elizabeth would have liked to voice her agreement with Chaya’s assessment- Colonel Sumner’s military record had seemed good on paper when she’d selected him as her military commander, but his current attitude towards the Phantom’s continued presence continued to frustrate her-, she knew that what Sumner had told her in the aftermath of the nanovirus had been accurate; they couldn’t afford to present a disunited front at any time, particularly at such a crucial meeting as this one.

“I handpicked every member of this expedition,” she said, looking resolutely at Chaya as she hoped her own doubts about Sumner weren’t obvious on her face, “and I know Teyla feels as confident about her own people.”

“I’m sure,” Chaya replied simply.

If Elizabeth hadn’t been negotiating with her she would have been impressed; it was almost remarkable how controlled Chaya could be regardless of the situation she was in or the topic of her current conversation.

“At the end of the day,” she continued, hoping that this would get through to Chaya- particularly with McKay’s doubts about her taken into account; maybe if she could point out the importance of trust Chaya might be more willing to talk with them about herself-, “this is a matter of trust.”

“Yes,” Chaya replied, nodding slightly at her. “It is, Doctor Weir.”

She turned to look at McKay as he sat opposite her. “Have your scans found anything yet, Doctor McKay?”

Only Elizabeth’s years as a diplomat kept her from showing how shocked she was at that latest turn of events.

Chaya knew that McKay was scanning her?

Well, she thought to herself, already regretting her decision to give into McKay’s paranoia, so much for any hope of that remaining a secret…

“Um…” McKay said, looking uncomfortably as he reached up to place his hand on the lid of the laptop, closing it as he continued to look awkwardly back at Chaya. “Uh… actually, no.”

“I’m sorry, Chaya,” Elizabeth said, looking apologetically at the other woman, hoping that she could at least partly salvage the mess she’d made of things. “Doctor McKay felt that there was cause for legitimate concern as to-”

“Whether or not I was who I appeared to be,” Chaya finished; her tone remained as neutral as ever, but her face appeared slightly dejected at this latest turn of events.

“I’m sorry, Chaya,” Elizabeth said, hoping that the other woman could appreciate the sincerity of her apology. “I honestly felt it would do no harm to assure him-”

“Stop apologising, Elizabeth!” McKay yelled, standing up as he glared at chaya. “How did she know?”

“What does that have to do with-?” Teyla began.

“She’s an Ancient,” McKay interjected.

“She’s what?” Sumner yelled, turning to look incredulously at the woman sitting close to him; Elizabeth had a feeling that only years of military training were allowing him to maintain enough control

“I’m right, aren’t I?” McKay asked, looking pointedly at Chaya. “The perfect health, the energy weapon, the fact that she has the gene; it’s the only logical explanation.”

“Hold on a minute here; you’re an Ancient?” Elizabeth said, looking incredulously at Chaya.

“I just… I don’t understand the act,” McKay continued, looking at the woman in confusion. “I mean, you must know we’d give just about anything to talk to you, to learn from you. I mean, what is it? What, are you… checking us out?”

“I see that in my desire to come to Atlantis, I have revealed too much of myself,” Chaya said, declining to directly answer McKay’s statement as she looked around the table.

Elizabeth couldn’t believe it; how could Chaya be so… calm even after they’d apparently correctly deduced her greatest secret?

“He’s right?” she said, looking incredulously at Chaya.

“I’m right?” McKay echoed; Elizabeth had no idea how to feel about the fact that McKay had voiced a theory like that when even he wasn’t entirely certain about it.

“I I am what you call an Ancient,” Chaya said, inclining her head. “And it is also true that I can never offer your people sanctuary. But you are only partly correct as to why I came here.”

“Why did you come here?” Sumner asked, looking at her with a renewed intensity; Elizabeth wished that he would stop instantly analysing every unexpected occurrence in the city as though it was a potential threat rather than just something that happened.

“The Phantom,” Chaya replied.

“The Phantom?” Elizabeth repeated, looking at the woman with a renewed intensity (That was not in any way motivated by jealousy; she simply wanted to know how Chaya knew of the Phantom).

“I have heard much about him from the thoughts of the Wraith who have come to my world,” Chaya explained, for the first time almost appearing embarrassed as she spoke. “When the opportunity came to find out more about him-”

“You came here because of the Phantom?” Sumner repeated, staring incredulously at the now-revealed Ancient with what looked to Elizabeth like an at least slightly resentful aspect. “We go to all the trouble of trying to form an alliance, and the only reason you’re here is-”

“Colonel,” Elizabeth said, glaring over at Sumner; things might not have turned out as they'd hoped, but the colonel's attitude was hardly going to help them improve things.

“Hold on; you’ve read their minds?” McKay said, looking in ever-increasing confusion at Chaya. “How-?”

“I’ve stayed here long enough,” Chaya said, rising to her feet as she stepped away from the table, subsequently walking through the door behind her.

“Chaya!” Elizabeth yelled, getting to her feet and hurrying after the other woman, Teyla just behind her. “Wait; you can’t just leave! Your people are the whole reason we even came…”

She trailed off as she took in the sight of Chaya standing just outside the conference room, the formerly almost impeccably-balanced woman suddenly giving the impression that she could barely stand.

“Chaya?” Teyla asked, walking up to stand alongside Elizabeth as she looked uncertainly at the other woman.

“I can’t…” Chaya said, her voice suddenly weak, as though she’d suddenly run a great distance in a matter of seconds, as she held up a hand.

“Can’t…” she gasped again, before she suddenly collapsed to the ground in a heap.

“Chaya?” Elizabeth called, anxiously hurrying over to crouch down beside the unconscious woman; it would be almost ridiculously bad luck if they lost the first living Ancient they’d come across in this galaxy so soon after discovering her. “Chaya?”

“Would it be asking too much for things to remain consistent here for once?” Colonel Sumner asked, as he looked pointedly down at the currently collapsed form before him, as he and McKay hurried out of the conference room to join Teyla and Elizabeth.

Before Elizabeth could even begin to form a reply- not that she had much idea what she’d say- Chaya had regained her footing and was standing up once again, looking resolutely out at something that none of them could see.

“They’re coming for them,” she said, apparently not even registering the presence of the others around her. “I should have never left them.”

“What’s going on?” Elizabeth asked, looking in ever-growing confusion at the Ancient- an actual Ancient!- before her.

“I’m sorry, Doctor Weir,” Chaya replied, as she turned to look at Elizabeth before she closed her eyes and raised her head. “We shall not meet again.”

For a moment nothing happened, and then, right before the four astonished members of the Atlantis expedition, Chaya Sar’s entire body suddenly glowed a brilliant white before assuming the appearance of a brilliantly-glowing form of energy, thin tendrils ‘reaching’ out from all around it. For a moment, one of them came in contact with Elizabeth, and she could have sworn she heard a voice-

He loves you, Doctor Weir.

-but then the tendril vanished, leaving the energy that had once been Chaya Sar to move towards the Stargate, which promptly activated the second she reached it. Before any of the technicians could do anything, the energy- the Ascended being, Elizabeth corrected herself; nothing else could account for what they were witnessing- had passed through the event horizon of the Stargate before the wormhole shut down, leaving the group that had so recently been in the conference room staring at the now-empty gateroom.

“Uh… ma’am?” the technician currently on duty- Elizabeth thought that his name was ‘Chuck’, but she couldn’t be certain- said, looking curiously over at her. “What just happened?”

Looking at the now-dormant Stargate that had just separated them from the first Ascended being they’d ever encountered in the Pegasus Galaxy, Elizabeth had no idea how to answer.

What had all that meant?

Why had Chaya suddenly decided to leave like that?

And what had that brief… flash… she’d felt when that tendril came in contact with her actually mean?

Even if it had been a… message, for lack of a better term… from Chaya, who was the ‘he’ that it had been referring to?