Author's Chapter Notes: They have no choice but to return.
Part 8: Returning to Earth
Walking away from Atlantis had been one of the hardest things she ever had to do. Walking away from Simon had been a walk in the park compared to how broken she felt when she faced her friends one last time before stepping through the gate.
"Give our replacements some support and teach them how we do things around here. But most of all, take care of each other."
John didn't say anything and just followed her through the event horizon.
General Landry was waiting for them on the other side. His normal cheerful face when they arrived was replaced by a stern one that promised no good whatsoever.
John stood at attention and Elizabeth greeted him with a simple 'General'.
"The meeting with the IOA is planned for tomorrow afternoon. Colonel Sheppard, you're with me to get briefed on your new assignment."
"Yes sir." Was John's simple reply.
Both men left Elizabeth alone in the gateroom without another look.
"Dr. Weir, can I show you to your room?"
Elizabeth turned to the slightly familiar voice and smiled.
"Dr. Jackson, it's so nice to see you again." She shook the man's hand. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. How are you?"
Her smile turned sad. "I'm ok, considering I just left my home and friends behind. I think it still really has to sink in."
Daniel nodded. "It's amazing how you can feel more at home on an "alien" planet than on Earth, isn't it?"
"You sound like you've been in a similar situation."
"The encampment where I met my wife was on another planet." He started while guiding her out of the gateroom. "It was home for me. The people living there were my family."
"What happened?"
"Goa'uld." It was all Daniel had to say for her to understand.
She remembered reading the reports and shivered at the memory. She could barely imagine what it must have been like for him. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok." He shrugged. "It happened over nine years ago. I'll never forget Sha're and in some way I'll never stop loving her. But I learned to move on."
Elizabeth thought about John and wondered if she would ever find the strength to move on if he died. She realized that in some way she was already losing him and that thought saddened her to her core.
It was a few hours later that Elizabeth nearly bumped into John in one of the hallways.
He mumbled a quick excuse and moved on but she stopped him by gently putting her hand on his arm.
"How was the meeting?"
He slightly turned back to her. "I've been reassigned to lead SG3. Our first mission is next week."
"Good for you." She smiled.
He shrugged. "It's better than McMurdo."
"Where are you going?" She asked, noting his black leather jacket.
"Just out." He said and pulled his arm free from her grasp.
"Can I join you?"
She could have sworn she saw a flash of surprise cross his eyes.
"No, it's private." He huffed and walked off.
"John, please. Don't shut me out of your life."
But he walked on without looking back.
"If I need to kick his ass, let me know."
She turned around and a full fledged grin appeared on her face. "General O'Neill."
"Dr. Weir." He stepped closer and shook her hand. "Good to see you again."
"Likewise, General."
"Ahahah... I told you to call me Jack."
"And I told you to call me Elizabeth."
"Very true." Jack laughed but then became semi-serious again. "So, you and Sheppard huh?"
She gave the older man a careful smile. "Yeah, me and Sheppard."
"Is it the kind of love that makes you just want to be together no matter where or how or are you already regretting the fact that you had to leave Atlantis?"
She took a deep breath before continuing. "I thought it was that kind of love."
Jack slightly raised his eyebrows. "But?"
"He's been shutting me out of his live for a couple of weeks now. He doesn't want to talk or anything."
"Idiot." Jack mumbled. "Do you know where he's going now?"
"Like I said: he's been shutting me out."
"I guess that's a no." Jack looked at her and saw slight traces of pain cross her face. For a second he hated John for doing this to one of the strongest women he knew. But he knew the Colonel must have a reason for acting like this. He better make damn sure it was a really good reason though.
"Let's go after him." Jack proposed with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked surprised.
"Let's follow him and see where he goes to."
"Are you serious?"
"Deadly. I'll tell the guys at the exit to stall him for a few minutes and I'll let Carter know to meet us in the parking lot."
"Colonel Carter?" Elizabeth slightly raised her eyebrows, remembering what John had told her about them after their first night together.
"Yeah, I was here to pick her up for dinner, but this is going to be much more fun." Jack started walking, but was stopped by Elizabeth.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Elizabeth." He looked at her intently. "You know just as well as I do that there is only one way to bring him to his senses."
She looked at him expectantly.
"Find out what's wrong with him, confront him with it and then push that thick stupid head of his into the fact that you two belong together. Sheesh, do I need to draw a picture?"
Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh.
"Alright, let's do it."
"That's my girl." Jack grinned and took out his walkie-talkie.
They had been driving for over an hour when Elizabeth yawned. Jack saw it in his rear-view mirror and couldn't help but comment.
"Don't tell me you're tired of your journey to Earth."
Elizabeth smiled. "Not really, but it's nearly 2.30AM in Atlantis, so it's really just jetlag."
"I still find it strange how you can have jetlag while you've only traveled for a few seconds." Sam said.
"And you just don't get used to it." Jack finished.
Elizabeth was still amazed by how two people who were so different could complement each other so perfectly. She couldn't help but be reminded of John and her. But she shook away the thoughts. They were still following him with a comfortable distance between the two cars. All rentals from the SGC had tracking devices in them, so the trio had no problem following John wherever he went.
"John complained about that a few times. Although he and McKay called it gatelag."
"Gatelag?" Jack laughed. "McKay probably stole that name from us."
She smiled at the older man and her smile grew as she saw him reaching for Carter’s hand again. They had been holding hands for most of the time he had been driving and she felt privileged that they trusted her enough to act like this in front of her.
“I heard about the engagement. Congratulations.”
“The stargate grapevine is still working like clockwork, I hear.” Jack smiled.
“Has it ever not worked like clockwork?” Elizabeth asked.
“Good point.” Jack grinned.
“So, when have you set a date?”
“We haven’t really set a date yet, but it’ll happen somewhere next year, after Jack retires.” Sam answered.
“Jack, you really are thinking about retiring?” Elizabeth asked surprised.
“Not just thinking. I’ve already set the wheels in motion. Being a general has its advantages but I miss the fieldwork. I miss going through the gate nearly every week with my friends by my side, discovering new planets and new allies… sometimes new enemies. I’m a man of action… not a man of paperwork.”
Elizabeth smiled at that. She had never seen Jack as a man of paperwork either.
“And besides, if I really want to marry Carter, it’ll be easier if one of us leaves the military.”
“That’s understandable.” Elizabeth agreed.
“He stopped.” Sam suddenly said as she pointed to the gps-tracking device. “Just half a mile from here.”
“It’s a graveyard.” Jack mumbled as they drove closer to where John’s car stood.
Elizabeth suddenly felt guilty for doing this. John had told her back at the SGC that it was private and now that she knew where he had gone to, she knew he had been telling the truth.
“I don’t want to intrude on him when he’s visiting a grave.” She said.
“Why not?” Jack asked.
“It’s an intrusion of his privacy and I know how much he likes his privacy.”
Jack glared at her. “You godda be kidding me. You guys are in a relationship and you’re becoming parents. There shouldn’t be any privacy or secrets between you.”
“I have to agree with Jack.” Sam said. “If Colonel Sheppard wants to be a part of your live, he is going to have to share everything with you.”
“That’s just it. He’s been behaving so distant and cold the last couple of weeks that I don’t know if he really wants to be part of my life anymore.”
“Did he ever tell you he loved you?” Jack asked.
“Yes.”
“Could you read it in his eyes?” Sam asked.
“Yes.”
“Did he ever tell you he never wanted to lose you.”Jack continued.
“Ye...”
“And spend the rest of his live with you?” Sam finished.
“Yes.” Elizabeth answered, knowing where they were headed.
“Then he wants to be a part of your life.” Jack said. “Never doubt that... no matter how idiotic he behaves.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I’d better go talk to him.”
“You do that.” Jack smiled at her as she stepped out of the car. “We’ll be waiting here, just in case.”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth said and made her way to the lone figure on the horizon.
“Who would have thought we’d ever give someone advice on their relationship?” Sam joked as she watched Elizabeth walk away.
“Well, we were able to fool everyone around us for almost 5 years, so we do know something about relationships.”
“And we know even more about keeping them secret.”
“So very true.” Jack grinned as he softly kissed Sam’s lips.
Elizabeth walked closer to the lone figure among the gravestones. By the way he hung his shoulders and head, she knew he was crying and she faltered in her step for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to disturb him. But her heart soon took over and she wanted to be there for him and comfort him.
"John?" She asked in a quiet whisper.
He twisted his head in surprise. "What are you doing here?" The surprise was also evident in his voice.
"We followed you." She admitted. "I was worried about you and..."
"You followed me?" He interrupted. "You followed me while I made it clear this was a private matter? How dare you." He hissed the last words.
"John, I was worried. You've been shutting me out of your life ever since Carson told us we are expecting twins." She saw his face darken even more when she mentioned her pregnancy. "Why won't you talk to me? Why are you shutting me out?"
He glared at her and she noticed his red swollen eyes from crying. But the angry glare in his eyes soon turned to sorrow.
"You deserve someone better than me." He finally whispered barely audible. "Those kids deserve someone better than me. I can't go through it again, 'Liz'beth, I just can't."
With that he turned around and started walking away from her.
"There is no one better than you, John. I love you." She called after him, but he walked on, not looking back.
Elizabeth felt ready to cry, but she stifled her tears and turned to the three graves he had been staring at. When she read the names and dates a hand flew to her mouth and she gasped. It slowly dawned on her why he was acting the way he did and her anger at his behavior slowly morphed into understanding.
TBC
Walking away from Atlantis had been one of the hardest things she ever had to do. Walking away from Simon had been a walk in the park compared to how broken she felt when she faced her friends one last time before stepping through the gate.
"Give our replacements some support and teach them how we do things around here. But most of all, take care of each other."
John didn't say anything and just followed her through the event horizon.
General Landry was waiting for them on the other side. His normal cheerful face when they arrived was replaced by a stern one that promised no good whatsoever.
John stood at attention and Elizabeth greeted him with a simple 'General'.
"The meeting with the IOA is planned for tomorrow afternoon. Colonel Sheppard, you're with me to get briefed on your new assignment."
"Yes sir." Was John's simple reply.
Both men left Elizabeth alone in the gateroom without another look.
"Dr. Weir, can I show you to your room?"
Elizabeth turned to the slightly familiar voice and smiled.
"Dr. Jackson, it's so nice to see you again." She shook the man's hand. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. How are you?"
Her smile turned sad. "I'm ok, considering I just left my home and friends behind. I think it still really has to sink in."
Daniel nodded. "It's amazing how you can feel more at home on an "alien" planet than on Earth, isn't it?"
"You sound like you've been in a similar situation."
"The encampment where I met my wife was on another planet." He started while guiding her out of the gateroom. "It was home for me. The people living there were my family."
"What happened?"
"Goa'uld." It was all Daniel had to say for her to understand.
She remembered reading the reports and shivered at the memory. She could barely imagine what it must have been like for him. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok." He shrugged. "It happened over nine years ago. I'll never forget Sha're and in some way I'll never stop loving her. But I learned to move on."
Elizabeth thought about John and wondered if she would ever find the strength to move on if he died. She realized that in some way she was already losing him and that thought saddened her to her core.
It was a few hours later that Elizabeth nearly bumped into John in one of the hallways.
He mumbled a quick excuse and moved on but she stopped him by gently putting her hand on his arm.
"How was the meeting?"
He slightly turned back to her. "I've been reassigned to lead SG3. Our first mission is next week."
"Good for you." She smiled.
He shrugged. "It's better than McMurdo."
"Where are you going?" She asked, noting his black leather jacket.
"Just out." He said and pulled his arm free from her grasp.
"Can I join you?"
She could have sworn she saw a flash of surprise cross his eyes.
"No, it's private." He huffed and walked off.
"John, please. Don't shut me out of your life."
But he walked on without looking back.
"If I need to kick his ass, let me know."
She turned around and a full fledged grin appeared on her face. "General O'Neill."
"Dr. Weir." He stepped closer and shook her hand. "Good to see you again."
"Likewise, General."
"Ahahah... I told you to call me Jack."
"And I told you to call me Elizabeth."
"Very true." Jack laughed but then became semi-serious again. "So, you and Sheppard huh?"
She gave the older man a careful smile. "Yeah, me and Sheppard."
"Is it the kind of love that makes you just want to be together no matter where or how or are you already regretting the fact that you had to leave Atlantis?"
She took a deep breath before continuing. "I thought it was that kind of love."
Jack slightly raised his eyebrows. "But?"
"He's been shutting me out of his live for a couple of weeks now. He doesn't want to talk or anything."
"Idiot." Jack mumbled. "Do you know where he's going now?"
"Like I said: he's been shutting me out."
"I guess that's a no." Jack looked at her and saw slight traces of pain cross her face. For a second he hated John for doing this to one of the strongest women he knew. But he knew the Colonel must have a reason for acting like this. He better make damn sure it was a really good reason though.
"Let's go after him." Jack proposed with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked surprised.
"Let's follow him and see where he goes to."
"Are you serious?"
"Deadly. I'll tell the guys at the exit to stall him for a few minutes and I'll let Carter know to meet us in the parking lot."
"Colonel Carter?" Elizabeth slightly raised her eyebrows, remembering what John had told her about them after their first night together.
"Yeah, I was here to pick her up for dinner, but this is going to be much more fun." Jack started walking, but was stopped by Elizabeth.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Elizabeth." He looked at her intently. "You know just as well as I do that there is only one way to bring him to his senses."
She looked at him expectantly.
"Find out what's wrong with him, confront him with it and then push that thick stupid head of his into the fact that you two belong together. Sheesh, do I need to draw a picture?"
Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh.
"Alright, let's do it."
"That's my girl." Jack grinned and took out his walkie-talkie.
They had been driving for over an hour when Elizabeth yawned. Jack saw it in his rear-view mirror and couldn't help but comment.
"Don't tell me you're tired of your journey to Earth."
Elizabeth smiled. "Not really, but it's nearly 2.30AM in Atlantis, so it's really just jetlag."
"I still find it strange how you can have jetlag while you've only traveled for a few seconds." Sam said.
"And you just don't get used to it." Jack finished.
Elizabeth was still amazed by how two people who were so different could complement each other so perfectly. She couldn't help but be reminded of John and her. But she shook away the thoughts. They were still following him with a comfortable distance between the two cars. All rentals from the SGC had tracking devices in them, so the trio had no problem following John wherever he went.
"John complained about that a few times. Although he and McKay called it gatelag."
"Gatelag?" Jack laughed. "McKay probably stole that name from us."
She smiled at the older man and her smile grew as she saw him reaching for Carter’s hand again. They had been holding hands for most of the time he had been driving and she felt privileged that they trusted her enough to act like this in front of her.
“I heard about the engagement. Congratulations.”
“The stargate grapevine is still working like clockwork, I hear.” Jack smiled.
“Has it ever not worked like clockwork?” Elizabeth asked.
“Good point.” Jack grinned.
“So, when have you set a date?”
“We haven’t really set a date yet, but it’ll happen somewhere next year, after Jack retires.” Sam answered.
“Jack, you really are thinking about retiring?” Elizabeth asked surprised.
“Not just thinking. I’ve already set the wheels in motion. Being a general has its advantages but I miss the fieldwork. I miss going through the gate nearly every week with my friends by my side, discovering new planets and new allies… sometimes new enemies. I’m a man of action… not a man of paperwork.”
Elizabeth smiled at that. She had never seen Jack as a man of paperwork either.
“And besides, if I really want to marry Carter, it’ll be easier if one of us leaves the military.”
“That’s understandable.” Elizabeth agreed.
“He stopped.” Sam suddenly said as she pointed to the gps-tracking device. “Just half a mile from here.”
“It’s a graveyard.” Jack mumbled as they drove closer to where John’s car stood.
Elizabeth suddenly felt guilty for doing this. John had told her back at the SGC that it was private and now that she knew where he had gone to, she knew he had been telling the truth.
“I don’t want to intrude on him when he’s visiting a grave.” She said.
“Why not?” Jack asked.
“It’s an intrusion of his privacy and I know how much he likes his privacy.”
Jack glared at her. “You godda be kidding me. You guys are in a relationship and you’re becoming parents. There shouldn’t be any privacy or secrets between you.”
“I have to agree with Jack.” Sam said. “If Colonel Sheppard wants to be a part of your live, he is going to have to share everything with you.”
“That’s just it. He’s been behaving so distant and cold the last couple of weeks that I don’t know if he really wants to be part of my life anymore.”
“Did he ever tell you he loved you?” Jack asked.
“Yes.”
“Could you read it in his eyes?” Sam asked.
“Yes.”
“Did he ever tell you he never wanted to lose you.”Jack continued.
“Ye...”
“And spend the rest of his live with you?” Sam finished.
“Yes.” Elizabeth answered, knowing where they were headed.
“Then he wants to be a part of your life.” Jack said. “Never doubt that... no matter how idiotic he behaves.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I’d better go talk to him.”
“You do that.” Jack smiled at her as she stepped out of the car. “We’ll be waiting here, just in case.”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth said and made her way to the lone figure on the horizon.
“Who would have thought we’d ever give someone advice on their relationship?” Sam joked as she watched Elizabeth walk away.
“Well, we were able to fool everyone around us for almost 5 years, so we do know something about relationships.”
“And we know even more about keeping them secret.”
“So very true.” Jack grinned as he softly kissed Sam’s lips.
Elizabeth walked closer to the lone figure among the gravestones. By the way he hung his shoulders and head, she knew he was crying and she faltered in her step for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to disturb him. But her heart soon took over and she wanted to be there for him and comfort him.
"John?" She asked in a quiet whisper.
He twisted his head in surprise. "What are you doing here?" The surprise was also evident in his voice.
"We followed you." She admitted. "I was worried about you and..."
"You followed me?" He interrupted. "You followed me while I made it clear this was a private matter? How dare you." He hissed the last words.
"John, I was worried. You've been shutting me out of your life ever since Carson told us we are expecting twins." She saw his face darken even more when she mentioned her pregnancy. "Why won't you talk to me? Why are you shutting me out?"
He glared at her and she noticed his red swollen eyes from crying. But the angry glare in his eyes soon turned to sorrow.
"You deserve someone better than me." He finally whispered barely audible. "Those kids deserve someone better than me. I can't go through it again, 'Liz'beth, I just can't."
With that he turned around and started walking away from her.
"There is no one better than you, John. I love you." She called after him, but he walked on, not looking back.
Elizabeth felt ready to cry, but she stifled her tears and turned to the three graves he had been staring at. When she read the names and dates a hand flew to her mouth and she gasped. It slowly dawned on her why he was acting the way he did and her anger at his behavior slowly morphed into understanding.
TBC
Chapter End Notes: Thank you for reading and thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far... I love you all ;^)