It was late afternoon when I came into the mess hall. I took a sandwich and a cup of coffee from the table before turning back. The majority of Atlantis’ personnel were back in work, so there were not many people sitting at the tables, eating their lunch. Taking a sip of my favourite hot drink, I headed into the control room smiling and looked up at gigantic blue ring that had been silent for some time now; Major Sheppard’s team was not due back for another three hours. They had gone to the Alpha Site to sort out a problem with the generator and John wanted to check all the equipment and skeleton personnel which had been stationed there. Of course under normal circumstances I would not have sent him, but after their last mission…

Yes, I am still mad at him because he went after Chaya. He didn’t even hesitate, and truth to be told he flew to Proculus before I had a chance to blink. I know that she was young, beautiful, sexy and well horny (You think I didn’t see how she was all over him when he was showing her Atlantis?), but come on… he was behaving like a dog in heat, not like a mature military commander of MY city!

Ok, ok but back to what I was saying… I would not normally have let them go on this sort of mission, but he was driving me crazy. No, not crazy… Rodney makes me crazy when he’s going on and on about some important report which has twenty pages of techno-babble I don’t understand. Major Sheppard made me furious. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I love him.

Shit! Did I just say what I think I said? Doesn’t matter. I’m a grown woman and it’s not a crime to fall in love with a handsome man, is it? Well normally it’s not, but in my case it is. I’m the leader of an expedition to another galaxy, in love with her 2IC. Gosh, I don’t know if I could fall lower! We have been friends for a long time; after all without the possibility of returning back to Earth, people did some bonding. So yeah, we are friends, just friends, nothing more. I was…am…his boss. But somehow, and I don’t know when, I started to like him (by that I do not mean ‘like’ as in a friend, but you know ‘like’ as in more than friends) and care about him more than I should. Far too many sleepless nights have been spent in my office or on the balcony thinking about him and worrying every time he does not return on time.

So we established that I have certain feeling for John. NO, not John! Major Sheppard. I am still mad at him after all, and calling him by his name is not helping me to stay mad. Do you want to know when I first realized I love him? I mean those feelings were only in my subconscious, but it all came to me two days ago, when he arrived from mission with her. At first I was just irritated that he did that without asking me, after all I am the boss here, but once we discovered she was an Ancient I was mad that she had been lying to us the whole time and didn’t even want to help. When I found out (thanks to Rodney) that John had not only shown her around, but had also taken her to one of the balconies for a date, I was disappointed and…surprise, surprise…jealous. After she left, I knew I should have felt some kind of relief, but I didn’t. ‘Why?’ I hear you ask. That’s simple, because John went after her, as if she was the only one that matter to him. In that moment I knew I was in love with him and was going to lose him. Funny, how’s that you can lose someone who never was yours. Well I can…

Anyway, after leaving my office, I headed to the South Pier where I had found my own secluded spot involving a small room with the balcony. Of course nobody knew about it; it was only my secret. Sitting down on the floor, I looked out at my amazing city. My heart was breaking; I was in love with my best friend, and I knew he would never feel the same about me. I wanted to cry but the tears just would not come. I really do have ice in my veins, I thought.

I don’t know how long I was there, but when I came back to my office, he was already waiting for me, sitting and grinning. Frowning, I headed to my desk and sat down without looking at him. I opened the first report and pretend to read.

Elizabeth?” he said. I looked up at him, trying to keep my poker face. I think he knew I was angry because he stopped smiling and looked down.
“What Major? Do you have an urgent matter or are you just intending to keep me away from my work?”
“I… nothing. I’ll leave you alone, as you wish.” With that he left.

I made up a plan while I was sitting in my secret place; it was right thing to do, avoiding him, or more importantly, avoiding those feelings. After all he’s Kirk, as Rodney likes to call him, a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type. He is not a man who is faithful to a woman, especially when he’s exploring a galaxy full of young, free, beautiful and willing women.

I’ve been wandering around Atlantis, not really knowing what to do. Usually at this hour I spend my time in Elizabeth’s office eating a late lunch with her or just talking about some stuff. But she was clearly mad at me and I don’t really know why. I mean it’s not like I did something wrong or did I?

Anyway, everything started when I got back from Proculus. Or better to be told, everything started ON Proculus. I went after Chaya, not only to find out why she left or to help her with the Wraith (as it turned out they were there) but mainly because she was a hot alien woman who wanted me. Yeah I know, McKay would tell me I’m a Kirk, but really it’s nice if a woman like Chaya wants you. So we defeated the Wraith; well she did the majority of job, but I helped and it was when I went looking for her; to get some answers when it happened. We shared some sort of intimate connection on a higher plane, I mean it was freaky, but at the same time mind blowing, literally. But when it had happened, I had thought about another woman and spoke her name.

Not only I was embarrassed that it happened, but it had irritated me that I had to cross half the Pegasus Galaxy to find out I’m in love in my own boss. Yes, I love Doctor Elizabeth Weir and I know she’s way out of my league. She’s smart, intelligent, kind, a little bit reserved but her warm heart is filled with love, and above all she’s really beautiful. See, not in my league. I usually date women who are the complete opposite of her; I mean they are sexy and empty.

Ok, but back to the topic. I love my boss and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I just walk into her office and tell her, ‘Hey Liz, I love you.’ We are friends, co-workers. Besides why would she look at me, when she could have just about anyone she chooses? It’s just not right. So I decided that as she will never want to be with me, I will have to bury those feelings deep down inside me, and the best way to do this is to avoid her.

I’m not as good as she is with the poker face so I know if I spend time with her like I used to do, she will figure out pretty quickly that I love her and then what? She will look at me with pity and say she’s flattered, but she doesn’t feel the same. Oh no, I have my pride; avoiding her is much better solution. I stopped bringing her lunch and coffee and spending every minute of my time in her company, but she is still the boss and I so I do have to work with her. During briefings I no longer sit next to her, but instead between Teyla and Ford and opposite Dr Weir. When the briefing ends I’m generally the first to leave, not really brothering with the rest of them. If anyone has noticed, so far no-one has said anything.

I turned left and found myself in the corridor heading towards the mess hall. Taking a few steps forward someone bumped into my body. The auburn curls and red T-shirt caused me to swallow deeply.

“Dr Weir.” Biting her upper lip and without even acknowledging my presence, she looked at her tablet and quickly left the hallway. I ran my hand through the hair.
“What happen to her?” I heard familiar voice and few seconds later Rodney and Ford joined me.
“I have no idea.” I said as we went into the mess hall. “So are you two ready to have a little fun after lunch?”
“Really Sheppard? Golf!?”
“Hey, you can always join Beckett fishing!” I said, ignoring Rodney’s moan.

At first I thought I was seeing things, but then it happened again and again and again! They were avoiding each other like a fire. It all started after we came back from Proculus. Elizabeth was of course polite to our guest, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. She seemed so quiet and reserved and after knowing her for a year, I can tell something is up. John on the other hand, started doing things he would have otherwise avoided before, like paperwork or practicing his moves in combat with sticks.

It was interesting to watch them as they were struggling with their feelings. Of course I know John loves Elizabeth and she loves him; you would have to be blind not to see it. They are so obvious that even Dr McKay can see it and we all know he’s the most arrogant and selfish person in two galaxies.

I waited a few days, watching them, before I made a move. Of course I had to be careful if I wanted to succeed. I decided to talk to John first, not only because Elizabeth was more difficult, but mainly because I figured his feelings were around much earlier than Elizabeth’s. I had few different scenarios in my mind, but I decided that I would have to talk to him without any witnesses. So when Halling asked me for help on the mainland I politely agreed (it’s not like I would refuse, as they are still my people, even if I am not with them daily), and I went to find Major Sheppard, asking him to take me to the continent.

“Is everything all right, Major?” I said as soon as we flew away from the city.
“Yeah, why are you asking?” John frowned.
“I notice you and Doctor Weir are avoiding each other and your behaviour lately has been rather strange. I believe it has something to do with your certain feelings.
“Whoa…what the hell you talking about? What feelings?” From the look on his face I knew he was trying to mislead me.
“John there is no shame in admitting that there is someone special to you.”
“Teyla! Don’t go there, ok? Just leave the topic.”
“As you wish.” I said and when he focused on piloting the Jumper I took a deep breath, sweetly smiling in his direction. “Those feelings, I do believe they are something you should talk about, if not with me, perhaps with…Dr Weir?”

I tried to look as innocent I could and I must have achieved my goal because Major Sheppard turned pale. He really believed I would drop the topic. If he only knew I am just getting started.

“Who…who told you?”
“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrow. He muttered something to himself as he lowered the Jumper to the ground.
“Who told you about…you know.”
“Uhh… I do not understand?” I was playing with him, I know, but he was the one that had to tell me this, on his own, I might add.
“About me and my feelings… to… uhh… to Elizabeth.”
“Do not worry yourself Major, no one has told me, no one had to. Your actions are so obvious that everyone in the city has realized what those longing looks towards her mean. Is that the reason you are avoiding her, because of what you feel?”
“Partly…”
“I do not understand. If you like her, why do you not tell her this? She is your friend, like me or…” John turned in his seat to face me, running his hand through his hair.
“That’s the thing Teyla. She IS my friend. I mean try to imagine you are me in this situation. If I have certain feelings for my superior and friend, I can’t tell her that; it’s inappropriate.”
“You have very strange customs.” I said.

He explained to me how it works for him, but I am sure one of McKay’s theories is simpler to understand than his feelings toward Elizabeth. Guess I will have to talk to her myself or start my plan B. I could not think about it any longer, because John had left the Jumper and I had to join him. It was time to help my people.


The next day I got up before the sunrise, to welcome the new day like I always did on Athos. Because of the harvest celebration on the mainland, Dr Weir gave most of the expedition a day off so they could join my people in the festival. This would give me a terrific opportunity to force Elizabeth and John to talk. Skipping my daily meditation so I could finish my last report, I looked at the clock in my room; it was few minutes past nine. It was time. I grabbed my report and headed to the control room.

I came into Elizabeth’s office to find her reading reports. At this time everyone else would normally be sleeping, especially when they were not scheduled to work, but not her; she spent all her free time in the office working. I took a deep breath as I knocked at the glass door. She looked up at me as I approached her desk.

“Elizabeth, why are you here?” We stopped exchanging formalities a long time ago, after all we are friends. “I thought today was what your people call ‘a day off’.”
“I know but I have so much to do.”
“Elizabeth you promised you would be at the harvest celebration and I am sure our Jumper is already waiting.”
“I’m so sorry Teyla, but I can’t come. Please tell the Athosians that I was touched by their invitation…” she said while pointing the stack of paperwork. “… but all of this needs my attention. I’m really sorry; there will be another celebration soon that I’m sure I’ll be attending. “
“Oh yes, and you will most likely have more of the same excuses. The paperwork will still be here tomorrow.” I placed my hands on my hips while rolling my eyes. “I believe that everyone needs time to relax, away from work, especially you. Should I call Carson or will you find your way to the Jumper yourself?”
“I will find it myself.” She said standing up. We left her office, heading to the jumper bay.
“I have a theory as to why you did not want to come to the mainland. It is not because of work, but rather Major Sheppard. You two have begun to avoid each other recently and I believe I know why…”
“Teyla please, don’t be ridiculous. I don’t love John.” She broke in. I stopped and looked at her with a smirk on my face, as a deep blush appeared on her face.
“I did not say anything, but now that you have mentioned it, is that the reason you are avoiding him? Because you think he might not love you back?” She nodded. “Maybe you should talk to him.”
“NO! It’s not that simple, I’m his boss…”
“And?”
“It’s against regulations, if the IOA finds out…”
“Listen to yourself. We are far away from Earth and you might never return. No one here is stopping you two, except your pride.” I said.

We sat down in the Jumper and waited for the pilot (Major Sheppard, of course; I took care of it). So you can imagine my confusion when I saw Lieutenant Gorseit. I asked him, discreetly of course so Elizabeth would not overhear, why he was here instead of John.

“Major Sheppard decided to remain in the city and catch up with the paperwork.” I knew it was the worst lie I had heard. John knew Elizabeth had been assigned to this Jumper and she would be participating in the celebration, so he stayed behind, not wanting to meet her. They were behaving like little children. Ok it is time for a plan B.

It was a few days after the celebration when I began plan B. I talked to the technicians in the control room, especially with Peter Grodin (who I knew was responsible for the many bets circulating Atlantis) to give me an alibi if someone (by that I mean Elizabeth) were to ask about the messages and presents in her office.
Yes, that is my plan. Make Elizabeth think she has a secret admirer in the city and in the end arrange for her a date with him (i.e. John).

To begin with there were flowers, but as soon as my source told me that the botanist can’t spare another one, I had to start a part two of my plan; notes. So periodically since then, Dr Weir has been finding short notes with kind words. It started to work, because she was slowly becoming less stressed and even started to smile. Of course she intended to find out who is behind those notes, she even asked me for a help, but I refused. You know why.

The notes so far have been successful; Elizabeth was looking happier and John… well he soon realized that someone was wooing, as he described it, Dr Weir. He became miserable, grumpy and just plain gruff to all the men in the expedition, beginning to avoid not just Elizabeth but his team also, with the exception of myself. I was not particularly happy with his behavior, something that was my own fault, (if he ever finds out what I have done, he will never forgive me) but it was a price I was ready to pay if he and Elizabeth are to have a chance at being happy with each other.

Another opportunity to talk to him again arose, this time at lunch, where we sat down next to the window. Looking at him I could tell he was not sleeping well and had stopped shaving every morning. His eyes were filled with sadness and it was my fault. Some of the expedition has started asking if he is capable of doing his job, but he has proved them wrong every time they said that maybe he should retire. I bit my upper lip.

“John is everything all right?” I asked, watching him digging in the food.
“Yeah… no… how’s Elizabeth and her boyfriend?”
“Elizabeth is fine, as to her boyfriend she still does not know who he is.”
“Great, she deserves to be happy.”
“You still regret that you are not the one, am I right?” I did not have to wait for an answer; I could see it in his eyes. I smiled to myself, causing him to frown. “I might have a solution to your problem. There is a girl on the mainland and she would be more than happy if you would ask her to dinner. She is very beautiful, Major.”
“You want to set me up on a date?” He asked.
“I believe it will help. I can arrange everything for you, if I have your permission.”
“Let me think. You talk to her and I’m going out with her on a date, yes?
“Yes. Perhaps we should arrange the dinner in the city, there is a higher possibility that Dr Weir will see you and…” I didn’t finish.
“If you think you can make Dr Weir jealous of me, you’re mistaken. She doesn’t feel the same, Teyla.”
“But you can always try, am I right?” I will not give up easily. My plan has to work. Looking up at John, he frowned while thinking about something. I was about to try my new arsenal of arguments but he smiled towards me.
“It wouldn’t hurt. Ok so talk to this girl. What’s her name?”
“Leah.” I used Elizabeth’s second name.
“Leah.” He repeated. “Nice. I have a date with Leah.” Major Sheppard grinned.

I slipped into my room during my lunch break. Turning on the lights, I sat down on the bed, taking a small piece of paper out of my pocket. Every day at the same time I have been finding one of these letters on my desk.

It had started a week ago with flowers. I went into my office and found it full of exotic flowers. Of course it was nice to know that there is someone in the city, who is attracted to me, but on the other hand any kind of relationship with someone who works for me can cloud my judgment and that would make me an ineffective leader of the Atlantis’ expedition. So I ignored them, I mean I’m the boss here and I don’t have time for silly games. But as the hours and days passed, I couldn’t walk to my office without smiling, especially when I was waking up with the feeling that part of him would already be waiting for me in my office, so I started to enjoy those little gifts from him. Whoever he is.

But let me tell you what had happened just a few days ago. Ok, so it began like this: I went into my office and was really disappointed. Had he given up on me? Forgotten?There was not a single flower in the room. I sighed while sitting down on my chair and opening my laptop. It was then that I saw it. A note:



“My beautiful Elizabeth. I wake up every morning knowing I will see your face. And I’m falling asleep every night with a smile on my lips. You are my heroine, my sunshine. Have a good day my sweetheart.
Yours
A.”


Of course it got better. Every day the letters became more and more intimate and then one day he admitted he loved me. Well that was nice but really it was also uncomfortable. I had not met him and hardly even knew his name; he always signed with the initial A, but what did that mean? Was it the first letter of his surname or a rank or a name? That got me thinking. I started to look at all the men in city, thinking that maybe he was somewhere near me, that he might stand up and walk towards me, say something. But no… I think he somehow got to know about my confusion and desperation to find out what his name is, because two days ago he signed his name under the message.

Arthur. Arthur. I spoke his name over and over again, but it didn’t sound right. Well he wasn’t John, whose his name was like magic to me. But if I could have a little fun why not take my chances? I asked myself: If he was interested in me could I, for one day at least, forget about my unhappiness, about the man I’m in love with but who doesn’t feel the same towards me? The answer is YES! Yes, I could and I would do it. I could have some fun, live a little even for one day. Gosh as soon as I finished my work I decided to look him up in the personnel database. It was time to get to know him personally.

Ok, but that had been past and now is the present. So getting back to my latest note from Arthur; I smiled while opening the note from him and started reading:


“My dearest sunshine. I was watching your beautiful face while you were on the balcony over the South Pier and was thinking about how much I want to wrap my arms around you and kiss your lips. I love you and I think it’s time. Time for us to meet. What do you think? I will be waiting for you on the North Pier balcony tomorrow at eight o’clock. If you want to meet me be there, my love.
Yours
Arthur.”


This is my chance, I thought. I put the paper on my bed and walked to the wardrobe. Opening it, I took out a red dress that I had brought to the city when we first arrived. I never thought I would actually have an occasion to wear it, but now it looks like I will. In that moment my computer let me know that it had finished searching for ‘Arthur’ in the database. I put the dress back into the wardrobe and sat down; I looked at the screen and…


…my jaw dropped on the floor. There were two files that my computer identified as having the name of my admirer. The first file I had to delete as soon as I opened; it was Lt. Arthur James Mitch, who had been killed by the Wraith on Athos. But the second one, to my surprise, was Major Jonathan Arthur Sheppard. I grinned at my screen. Guess I have a date with my love after all...

I turned back when the door had opened and I saw the red high-heels attached to the longest legs in the galaxy. I smiled, just watching her; long legs, white silk skin and perfect body which had been covered by a red dress. Apparently Teyla was right; Leah was a remarkably beautiful woman. She looked up at me and my heart stopped.

“Elizabeth? What are you doing here?” I asked after I managed to get myself together. Damn, she is hot. And that dress… Mhmm… Yummy!
“I could ask you the same thing, John. I’m here for a date.”
“Well, me too. With Leah. Teyla arranged it!” I wanted to sound proud, make Weir regret she had chosen her anonymous admirer over me. But as it turned out I only managed to worsen the situation; I could feel my face turning red and I was afraid to look at her.
“Well in that case I think I will wait with you until they both arrive.” Elizabeth hummed with a small smile as she sat down on a chair.

You know I think I must have looked like a complete idiot; standing there, just staring at her. She had to have noticed that because she looked up at me and sweetly asked me to sit down. Idiot. You are an idiot Sheppard! I said to myself. My hands were shaking, so I took a deep breath and reached for the glass filled with champagne, drinking it all in one gulp.

“So… you know the name of this mysterious admirer of yours?” I said.
“As a matter of fact I do. Arthur. Shall we start eating before the food gets cold?”

Did she just wink at me? Oh yeah, she did! And what’s with that look? Is she flirting with me? No, it’s not possible. I’m just seeing things. She is only waiting for her Arthur; she’s not here for me. I nodded to her, after all she was right. We started eating in silence.

“Funny thing, actually, my second name is Leah and I recently discovered that yours is Arthur.” She said.

Once again that flirtatious look appeared on her face; I put aside my fork, frowning. You can probably imagine my confusion when she said that. It was in that moment that I knew Teyla had planned everything. Oh I got to give credits to that girl. I mean she really mislead us. But we now have a chance, I only have to take it!

“My father wanted to give me some exotic name, but my mother disagreed. And if she said no there was nothing that could change her mind. So I ended up as Elizabeth Leah Weir.”
“It suits you.” I looked around and then back at her, smiling. “It seems Teyla set us up.”
“Yes, I believe you are right.”

She picked up her glass of wine and slowly raised it to her mouth. Taking a small sip, she licked her bottom lip and gently bit it. I swallowed hard. Holy shit she was flirting with me, so that had to have a meaning. I swear if I didn’t know her better I would say she’s got a thing towards me.

“I gotta say this. Teyla really mislead us. The plan of hers was…”
“…intelligent, great?” she raised her eyebrow.
“Great yes, but intelligent. Oh no. Please I thought I might lose my mind because of your mysterious boyfriend.”
“My, my John, were you jealous?” she teased me. I could swear my face went completely red. I swallowed hard while looking at her. Standing up and walking to the railing, I put my hands on it.
“I still am. I do have feelings for you, Elizabeth, strong feelings.”
“Really?” I heard her stand up and slowly walk towards me. “Good. I seriously hoped I wasn’t the only one.”

Elizabeth put a hand on my shoulder and caressed it. Taking a step forward, her second hand found a way to my other shoulder. I slowly turned around leaning against the railing. My hand found its way to her hip, pulling her closer to my body.

“You… are you serious?”
“Yes John. Yes, I am.” We tangled our fingers together. I raised her palm to my mouth and pressed a kiss on it.
“You don’t even know how much I love you, Elizabeth.”
“Oh yes, I do John. I love you too!”

She looked at me and I could see the very things I had always wanted to see in her green eyes; pure love, understanding and worship. Elizabeth put her free hand around my cheek, rubbing it slightly. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment. She smiled to me as our faces came closer and closer. My hand around her waist pulled her to my body.

“Hi.” Smiling I whispered rubbed her nose with mine; our lips inches away.
“Hi.”

At first our mouths were only lightly touching, teasing. But then I pressed my lips to her harder, kissing her sweetly. As far I can tell she wasn’t too interested in innocent kissing; Elizabeth took over by pushing her tongue inside my mouth, exploring the unknown territory. I responded to her with the same passion; it was much better than I had been imagining! Finally I was kissing Dr Elizabeth Weir, my love.