Healing by Major Dork
Summary: For two weeks Elizabeth Weir was tortured, but when Colonel Sheppard finally saves her, it’s not her physical wounds that need healing….
Categories: Fanfiction Characters: None
Genres: Action & Adventure, Angst, Drama, Fluff & Slush, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut & Porn
Warnings: Abuse, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: No Word count: 12244 Read: 30392 Published: March 16, 2006 Updated: March 24, 2006

1. Broken by Major Dork

2. Strength in Numbers by Major Dork

3. The Road to Recovery by Major Dork

4. Joint Effort by Major Dork

Broken by Major Dork
Healing

By Major Dork

Summary: For two weeks Elizabeth Weir was tortured, but when Colonel Sheppard finally saves her, it’s not her physical wounds that need healing….
A/N: Hi! I’m the newbie here! I’ve written fan fic before… just not for Stargate Atlantis! This story is pretty intense in the beginning… some talk of rape… but it doesn’t actually happen, so don’t worry bout that! I know a lot of people see Sheppard as the one always getting hurt… so I thought about switching things up a bit. Looks like Sheppard isn’t the only one who can get himself into major trouble!


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Part One "Broken"

Everything hurt. All she could register was the pain. She could barely focus anymore, and more often she found herself falling in and out of consciousness. She’d lost track of how many days had gone by, but that hadn’t mattered much as she found her self hanging from the ceiling of the large cave, her legs too weak to hold her up any longer. They’d tied ropes around her wrists, and the roughness cut into her, blood dripping down her arms. Every inch of skin hurt, sore from the beatings and so much more.

It was strange really… how one minute you could feel secure in your life, you don’t have everything you’ve ever wanted… but it’s enough. Then the next minute it’s all ripped away from you. The people who’d captured her had taken everything from her… they’d taken her from her friends, taken her dignity, her strength… as well as her will to live. After so long with nothing to lay eyes on but the griminess of the cave before her, and the sick people who took such pleasure in her pain, she’d lost the will to keep going just a little bit longer. The man who’d taken her had been right about one thing… by the end all she wanted was to finally fall into nothingness… that it finally be over with. Thankfully, she knew she wouldn’t last much longer. She was sure they’d broken enough ribs for one of them to puncture something… it wouldn’t be long before it would be too much, before the end would come and she’d finally be dead. She’d never thought she’d want that as badly as she did now… but it was all she could hope for. There was nothing left for her but death.

Although it seems like months ago, she could still remember how she had gotten to the hell she found herself in now. The people had been a peaceful one. Sheppard’s team had made contact with them, and found them to be a delightful people. They’d hoped to strike a friendship with the race known as the Lorwayins. It hadn’t been going as well as she and John had hopped until she mentioned the mainland when talking about where they’d come from. The Lorwayins had instantly been interested. When they’d told the people that they came from the City of the Ancients, they’d all wanted to learn more, but upon learning the defenses of the city, their leader had made his interest known, wondering if he would allow them to settle on the mainland. The Lorwayins had been ravished by the Wraith not that long ago, and their numbers were few. Elizabeth Weir, upon seeing how kind and gentle the people were, had been happy to allow them settlement. In return, the Lorwayins would work with Teyla’s people in planting, and harvesting food, as well as helping with a great many other things.

The people of this planet had wished for freedom from the Wraith… they wanted a protector. Atlantis was probably their only hope of being saved. Only some did not see the Wraith as evil. Colonel Sheppard had told her about those who actually worshiped the Wraith. She hadn’t wanted to believe him until now, until she could do nothing but believe, seeing it with her own two eyes. The Lorwayins were in conflict because of the few who saw the Wraith as gods, although they were treated as nothing but meaningless terrorists, they’d done well in showing that they were far more than that. When they’d learned people from Atlantis had come, they’d quickly planned to capture them. Sheppard’s team had fought valiantly, but hadn’t been able to fight them. Thankfully John, Teyla, Ronan, and Rodney hadn’t been taken. Elizabeth on the other hand hadn’t been quite so lucky, especially being the main target. Apparently, being she was leader of Atlantis, the Wraith saw her as the most valuable.

Not long after capturing her, they’d headed towards the gate, Sheppard’s team on their tail, but there was nothing they could do. Elizabeth was sure they’d managed to at least see the symbols, but after so long… she’d begun to doubt that was so. And so Elizabeth found herself hanging, barely conscious. Weir’s eyes closed as she heard footsteps. Dovin Lec Selis. The very name made her shiver. He was a cruel man, a hard man. Elizabeth had seen it in his eyes before he’d spoken a word. He’d proved her right over the many days. Selis seemed to very much enjoy his time with her, taunting her, mocking her, torturing her. It was as if he lived on her cries of mercy. It was a wonder he hadn’t broken her yet. She knew he would soon. She doubted she could hang on much longer.

“Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth… why do you make things so hard for yourself?” Selis asked his voice cold. His voice sent an icy shiver down her spine. She could feel her heart pound in her chest violently. Her body strained, aching with a pain she’d never felt before. She knew what was coming. He walked towards her slowly, not stopping until his face was only inches away from hers. “Look at you, Elizabeth. Such a beautiful… beautiful woman, at least you were. Now that alluring pale skin is covered by purple, blue, and black blotches of bruises and cuts…. What a pity.”

“Go to hell, you bastard,” she whispered weakly, something she’d said quite often to him since her capture.

“Touché…” he mumbled shaking his head. “Elizabeth, really, you MUST work on your conversational skills. Their severely lacking these days.”

Elizabeth held her tongue, staring into his eyes, trying to be strong even as she shook, the pain too strong not to show.

Selis walked around her, staying close, moving a hand to touch her cold, clammy skin… her body exposed thanks to her captors. His touch made Elizabeth want to vomit, especially with all the times he’d threatened her with something worse than the torture. Although he hadn’t raped her yet, she knew he probably would before finally killing her. It was something that floated in the back of her mind just that thought making her skin crawl. He’d touched her many times… letting her know he had no problems with the idea. Elizabeth kept her mouth closed, for fear of losing the little she’d eaten since being taken. “You’ve had it so easy for too long back on your world. It’s time you see what the gods can do to those who resist.” It was then that she felt it. The metal pipe he used often when beating her. It connected with her left arm, breaking the bone further, shattering it. Elizabeth cried out in pain, knowing it was just the beginning. Next he slapped her face, hard. His lips moved to her ear. “Soon the Wraith will have Atlantis… and then they will have your world… a feeding ground numbering in the billions. It is futile to resist, Elizabeth. One way or another, whether it be through you or others that you command… we will find what we wish to know.” Finally he walked back in front of her and took out the one thing that she feared. Elizabeth’s eyes widened as the control device was shown to her. “What do you say, Elizabeth? Shall we try the highest setting?” With that he pressed the button, pointing it at her.

Elizabeth thrashed against the restraints, screaming out in pain. Her screams so loud she was sure even Earth would hear it. The pain overwhelmed her, shocking her system as everything out side and in was set on fire. Finally she felt his fist make contact with her stomach. The pain was too great. She tried to beg him to cut the device off, to show mercy, but all she could do was scream. There was no mercy in this cave.

Suddenly Selis turned off the device. “So you see, Elizabeth… you will tell me everything… because you will under go this device every day that you don’t.” Elizabeth hung her head, resting it against her chest, the shockwaves of the device rolling through her. She was breathing hard, tears streaming out her eyes, the new lingering pains taking their place with everything else he’d done to her. There was no pain like it. “Although I must admit… I would much rather have you than use this device.” Elizabeth looked back up into his eyes for a second, only for her head to drop once more, too weak to keep hold it up, but it had been enough for Selis to see the horror and fear on her face. Selis laughed, shaking his head. “Next time when I return, you WILL answer ALL of the questions I ask… or I will rape you… over and over and over again,” he told her. “You know I will.”

She shook her head weakly, using all of her energy, trying to fight the darkness beginning to take over. Everything throbbed, her senses on overload. Fear overwhelmed her at his threat. If she didn’t tell him what he needed to know, he wouldn’t hesitate to carry out his promise. She knew under no circumstances could she tell him what he wanted to know, and this scared her more than anything. When he came back, he would rape her over and over again… it was a done deal. More tears flowed as he got up and walked out of the cave, only to stop at the entrance and look back at her. “And if that does not work, I can always go for the others from Atlantis. Perhaps Colonel John Sheppard will tell me all that I wish.”

“BASTARD!” Weir shouted, venomously with all her strength. Her heart ached at the thought of what Selis could do to John.

“Oooohhhh, did I hit a nerve?” he asked, showing his pleasure with a wider smile. He’d asked that question every time she reacted to his threats against John Sheppard. Finally he turned and left.

Elizabeth closed her eyes, feeling blood seep down her back. He must have stabbed her in the back again while using the device. It was the last thought she had as the pain became too much. Finally she felt her eyes begin to close as she passed out into blissful nothingness.

==

“Colonel!” Rodney called, running towards Doctor Weir’s office where John Sheppard sat, trying to keep his mind off what could be happening to Elizabeth.

John looked up as Rodney walked into the office. “Major Lorne believes he’s found where Elizabeth was taken! He did some scouting and found a bunch of guys matching our description guarding this cave. He wanted to act, but there were too many. He suggests you and maybe one other team just to be safe.”

Sheppard nodded, excited to finally be able to do something. “Good! Tell everyone to gear up immediately. Have Major Stark’s team come along too! I’ll relay the information to the Daedalus.”

Rodney nodded, then ran back out. John couldn’t help the smile. He just hoped Elizabeth was alright when they got there.

==

Colonel Sheppard watched the guards in front of the large cave, each of them carrying Wraith stunners. There were at least twelve in the woods, and seventeen at the front of the cave. Sheppard had ordered Stark’s team to guard the gate while him and Major Lorne’s team took out the twelve Lorne had noted in the woods. Once they’d done that, all being careful not to make their presence known, they’d headed towards the cave. “Okay, how you guys think we should do this?” Lorne asked.

Ronan stared at the men, all servants of the Wraith. “Stun them, then send them as food to the Wraith,” he muttered, his anger clear in his voice.

Teyla moved her hand to Ronan’s shoulder, obviously knowing how to deal with the once runner. John could see the growing bond between the two, both having to deal with the Wraith, understanding the terror of living your entire life with the threat of the life-suckers. Sheppard could see Teyla knew how to handle him, how to keep him cool in a situation where that was an important thing to fulfill a mission. “There could be some inside,” said Teyla, a worried expression on her face.

“Not to mention the fact that they could kill Doctor. Weir if they see our approach…” added Lorne.

“If she isn’t dead already,” added Ronan.

There was a short silence as everyone thought about that very thing. None of them wanted to believe it true, but there was definite possibility. John didn’t care though, either way he had to try. If there was even a small chance Elizabeth was still alive… John would take it. “We can’t afford to think that way, Ronan. Not yet. Okay, here’s what we do. We’ll need one of us to be taken by the men down there, get some intel. Ronan, I think that’d be good for you. Let them capture you, then on my signal we get em all in one. Hopefully they’ll take you inside the cave, in which case you can make sure if Elizabeth is in there… that she’s not dead by the time we’re finished with these sons of bitches.”

Ronan nodded, and then got up. “Here, hold my gun,” he said, handing John his gun before he ran down towards the cave to be captured.

The others watched as the seventeen guards pulled their guns out, pointing them at Ronan. John and the others waited silently as Ronan was grabbed and pulled inside the cave, one of the men leading a few of the guards inside. “Alright… now!”

==

The firefight was intense. John barely remembered most of it, his instincts kicking in as he shot at the guards, taking them down like flies until none were left. John held his P-90 close as he ran forward to make sure every one of them were dead. He could see the smoke come from their bodies, blood everywhere. “Clear,” he told the others. “Major Lorne, stay outside the cave to make sure there’s no more we missed. My team… we go inside the cave,” John ordered.

Rodney held his P-90, tightly, nodding, the nervous look on his face rather obvious. Teyla, also carrying a P-90 simply gave one short nod, ready for anything. When they walked inside they could see Ronan bent over one of the men who was still alive. “Where is Doctor Weir!” he shouted, his hand around the man’s throat.

The man smiled an evil look on his face. “Kill me all you want, but the Wraith will find a way to Earth! Your world will perish!”

John walked over to the man and moved down. “Tell us where she is!”

The man gasped for breath, trying to laugh. “She won’t be hard to find… she’s the one hanging from the ceiling with blood dripping down her body.”

John narrowed his eyes as Ronan finally squeezed the life out of him. “We do deeper into the cave,” he ordered harshly.

The others followed behind John. Rodney had a horrified look on his face as he realized that Elizabeth could very well be dead. Both Ronan and Teyla’s expressions were far more unreadable. Sheppard, however, was the one showing the most emotion, his face showing his anger and determination. They walked slowly into the damp, cold cave, listening for anything that could lie inside. Suddenly John stopped. “Elizabeth!” He ran toward her, seeing her arms tied up, her head hanging down, a puddle of blood underneath her.

“Oh my god,” whispered Rodney, stopping as he saw the horrific sight before him. He moved a hand over his mouth, ready to puke, turning away. He couldn’t look at that anymore.

Ronan began taking off his long, tan coat, handing it to John, while Teyla took a knife and began cutting the ropes. John moved the coat to cover her front as she was completely naked, trying to fight back tears. “Jesus,” John whispered at the sight of her broken body.

Ronan shook his head, helping Sheppard lay her down for a second while Rodney pulled a blanket out of his pack. He quickly handed it to Sheppard, who wrapped it around Weir, trying to keep her warm, feeling how cold she was.

“This looks bad,” said Sheppard.

“Ya think?! I mean… Jesus! This is just… SICK! Her left arm is shattered for sure. And it looks like her other arms is out of its socket… it’s broken too. “I’d say she’ll probably have a number of broken ribs… hopefully though we got to her in time. These wounds look pretty severe… and in these conditions there may be infections.”

“I have never seen something so horrific done by a human,” Teyla said, shaking her head in shock.

“We should get her back to Atlantis fast… her pulse is weak.”

John nodded, picking her up in his arms. “I’ll carry her.” She was light in his arms, just telling Sheppard how bad it was. He’d seen things like these before… even heard stories of something far more gruesome which had actually happened to General O’Neill, once commander of the SGC, but never in his life had something like this happened to someone as important to him as Elizabeth was.

Rodney walked next to him, his eyes on Elizabeth as they walked towards the exit of the cave. His usual look of a mix between fear and arrogance which he carried on off-world missions was completely gone, only worry and grief taking its place. Ronan walked in front of Sheppard, his protect nature coming out as he held his gun tightly, glancing back at him and Elizabeth every so often. Teyla walked on the other side of him, carrying John’s things, her eyes full of concern and remorse. The team left the cave slowly meeting with Major Lorne and his men.

“Oh my god,” Lorne whispered as he saw who John carried, seeing the bruises all over Elizabeth’s face and legs not covered by the blanket. “Is she alright?” he asked hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

“No… not really. She’s pretty beat up. We need to get her back to Atlantis quick so Carson can treat her.”

Lorne nodded and took lead, the two teams heading back to the gate in silence, all worried about the woman lying unconscious in Sheppard’s arms.

To Be Continued….

A/N: I should be able to update pretty soon, so look for it! Oh and PLEASE review! That is... if your interested.... :)
Strength in Numbers by Major Dork
Healing

By Major Dork

Summary: For two weeks Elizabeth Weir was tortured, but when Colonel Sheppard finally saves her, it’s not her physical wounds that need healing….

A/N: Just so you guys know, this story is rated M, but the ratings can vary through out the story... M is just an overall rating. Thanks for the reviews by the way! Enjoyed em lots! Would love more! ;)


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Part Two “Strength in Numbers”


Everything was blurry; different… something was very different. She felt so warm… so safe, one arm supporting her back, while the other was positioned under her knees. “….She’s pretty beat up. We need to get her back to Atlantis quick so Carson can treat her.”

That voice. She knew that voice. She tried to move her arms, but found them covered. She was wrapped tightly… in a blanket. Where was she? She needed to speak. She could feel the person holding her running… but where? It was then that she finally remembered the voice, that distinct voice that meant so much to her. “John?” she whispered weakly.

She felt the person holding her come to a sudden stop. “Elizabeth! I’m here! Everything’s going to be fine. You were captured… we’re talking you home!”

“Home?” Could it all be a dream? Her subconscious torturing her with images of a rescue to take her from her hell?

“Yes, we’re taking you home now, Elizabeth. Just sit tight, we’re almost there,” he assured her, his voice warm, filled with concern. She’d never heard John Sheppard act this way. Things slowly began to clear up, her eyes meeting his. She could smell him, feel him all around her. It WAS John.

Elizabeth could feel the tears in her eyes fall down her face as she looked into his eyes. When the sob came, it was unexpected, leaving her with no defenses. The others watched as John held her even closer than before, holding her close… if only to comfort her as they stopped to see if Elizabeth was okay now that she had awoken. She was crying. Elizabeth Weir, a strong and brave woman… filled with such inner power, crying in Sheppard’s arms. “Don’t leave me,” she whispered to him, too afraid to be alone. She was shaking, so scared that he’d disappear.

“Never, Elizabeth. I’m here as long as you need me. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Elizabeth just nodded, closing her eyes, knowing he wouldn’t leave her. She was safe. Everything would be okay. She wasn’t alone anymore. She was going home.

John watched her drift off into unconsciousness, and then looked up, meeting Teyla’s eyes. “I think she’s out.”

Teyla nodded. “We should keep moving. There may be more out there.”

John paused, looking back down at the woman in his arms. “Right. Let’s get going.”

==

Colonel Sheppard paced back and forth in the waiting room, waiting for Beckett to tell them if Elizabeth was going to be okay. Rodney McKay, Ronan, and Teyla were sitting, solemn looks on each of their faces. None had a good feeling about what they would hear. Finally the door slid open to reveal Carson. John frowned at the look on the Scottish Doctor’s face. “Well? How is she?”

Beckett sighed. “Every last of her ribs are broken. I did what I could with it… it should heal. Her lung was punctured… it looks like it only just happened recently, thank goodness or she’d probably be dead right now. Her right arm was knocked out of its socket, I’ve set it back in, and it should be fine. It was broken… I’ve taken care of that too. Her left arm on the other hand… the bone was completely shattered. I’ve done what I can, but either way… it will cause her problems for quite a while. Her left leg was broken in two places and there were quite a few lacerations all over her body. There were infections, but thankfully none were as serious as I feared. I’ve done what I can with the bruises… it shouldn’t take to long for them to fade. Elizabeth also had a fractured skull, which I took care of after attending to her lung. All in all… it’ll be a while before she leaves the infirmary. I took care of any internal bleeding and I put her in a medical induced coma to let her heal properly. Thanks to some of the medical equipment we’ve found here on Atlantis she should be physically ready for active duty in less than a month. In the mean time I would suggest having the Daedalus come as soon as they can so Colonel Caldwell can take care of Atlantis while Elizabeth recovers.”

John nodded. “Done.” He wasn’t exactly sure he liked the idea of Colonel Caldwell taking over Elizabeth’s position, but since Caldwell had been ‘de-goa’ulded,’ as Rodney so delicately called it, Weir had shown her trust in him. Not to mention when she and John had been taken over by aliens, Caldwell had done well in containing the situation.

“Good.” Beckett sighed, looking at the others, their faces showing even more worry than before. “She should be alright… it’s just a matter of how long it will take for her to heal, and frankly it’s not the physical healing that I’m worried about. With what’s she’s been through…” he left the rest unsaid.

John looked back at his team, and then moved forward, closer to Beckett. “Did they… I mean when we found her… she was…” John stumbled. He couldn’t even say it.

“I already checked. Thankfully there’s no vaginal tearing… which means she wasn’t rapped, but she may have been groped. One of the bruises was quite pronounced… it looked the shape of a hand… it was placed on a rather… private area as I’m sure you can imagine. I’d say if and when she wakes up… Colonel… she may not be the same person we’ve known these last two years. After going through something so horrific… she’s gonna need her friends now more than ever. I hate to say it, but this is enough to damage a person for life.”

“People in the military have gone through it before-“

“She’s not military, Colonel. She wasn’t trained to prepare for this kind of thing.”

“She’s strong… she’ll make it.”

Carson sighed. “She may be strong, but those men did an awful lot in two weeks. Right now she should be dead. And there’s something else….”

“Doctor?”

Carson hesitated. “I had Doctor Zelinka look at it since Rodney was busy. I found a chip implanted in her brain while I was examining her. Zelinka believes it was used to send horrible amounts of pain through her system. And not only that… usually when we go through enough pain thank goodness we black out. In this case, it didn’t matter how intense the pain was… she would stay alert for as long as the implant was active. Zelinka studied it quite closely.”

“What are you saying?” John asked worried more and more by each passing moment.

“I’m saying, Colonel… imagine a device that could keep you awake for hours at a time, sending the most horrible pain through you… making you feel as if your whole body was on fire… keeping you that way… with THAT kind of pain for hours… days… it didn’t matter how long. THAT is the device we found in Elizabeth’s brain. THAT is what she may have had to go through while she was captured.”

John felt his heart tear at the thought of Elizabeth going through something so horrible. “Jesus Christ.”

“Aye. The poor thing went through something worse than hell in that cave. Frankly… she may never be mentally ready to take back command of Atlantis.”

John nodded slowly, his eyes clouded at the thought of what he was being told. The thought made him sick to his stomach. “Can I see her?”

Carson nodded. “Go right ahead. All of you can. You can ever talk with her… let her know that your there.”

“Yeah,” Sheppard whispered.

==Two Weeks Later==

Elizabeth smiled, watching Rodney McKay go on and on and on about some new piece of technology he had discovered in Atlantis. “… and the best part is… it could be used for almost anything! Your tub’s dirty… it actually disincarnates all dirt, grime… anything! It makes everything new again! NOTHING could EVER build up! All the tests I ran were conclusive. It could even do your laundry for you! I’m hoping to find more, but it is quite amazing! I must say this for the Ancients… they were a very clean people, which is good to know, because I never did understand how they keep all those white uniforms so… white! I mean we all know how white is… can’t get the stain out to save your life and then there you are with a-“

“Rodney!” Rodney looked up to see Colonel Sheppard standing on the other side of Elizabeth’s bed, arms folded. “I think she’s had enough of you for now.”

“But I was just talking to her about-“

“Rodney. Give her a break! She just woke up a week ago!”

McKay sighed, frowning. “Fine….” Then with a smile he added, “I’ll just leave you two alone now….”

Sheppard frowned at the astrophysicist, watching him leave, a bounce in his step. Once he was gone, Elizabeth gave him a weak smile. “Thanks.”

“Any time!” he assured her, taking Rodney’s earlier seat. “How are you feeling?”

Elizabeth shrugged, wincing a little at the pain. “Better. Beckett just gave me something for the pain not that long ago.”

Sheppard nodded. He’d actually meant mentally rather than physically, but he knew Elizabeth would rather not speak about that part. She knew exactly what he meant. “Well that’s good,” he told her.

Elizabeth sighed, looking away. John could see everything was different… she was different. She didn’t smile… not HER smile. It looked fake, forced. Her eyes seemed darker. John had also noticed her distancing herself from her friends, trying to be friendly, yet not being herself. Doctor Heightmeyer had been in to check on Weir everyday, but she’d admitted to John that she hadn’t made much progress, and had asked him to do what he could… see what he could about getting her to talk about what happened. “So…” Elizabeth finally said. “There a reason for your visit?”

“I just wanted to check on you,” he lied.

“Really? That’s all?” She could tell he was lying. It was written all over her face. She didn’t believe it for a second. “Heightmeyer sent you, didn’t she?”

John sighed. “She’s just worried about you. We all are! What you went through…” Sheppard shook his head, the images of her hanging in the cave haunting him. Ever since he’d had nightmares… nightmares of seeing her like that, looking half dead. Just the thought brought a shiver down his spine.

Elizabeth frowned, looking away. “Wounds heal.”

“Mental ones are a little more difficult than physical ones. All I had to do was see you like that and I still can’t shake the nightmares.”

“Nightmares?” she questions, her voice suddenly weak.

“To see you like that… the way they treated you….” John had never had so much trouble trying to convey his feelings, but this was a lot different from the usual. “To see them do what they did to you… just hanging there… I wanted to kill every last one of them… slowly. I mean… you’re important to me.”

Finally Elizabeth met his eyes, showing her surprise. “Important to you?”

It wasn’t until she said it that he realized what he’d said. “Well uh… you know… I mean… Atlantis needs you… you’re a great leader. And you have become one of my closest friends. That’s all… I mean that’s what I meant… earlier… when I said you were important to me… I mean you are… just for those reasons… I mean not to say those are the only reasons but… uh…” John stumbled. Finally he gave her a nervous smile. “The point is… we all saw you, Elizabeth. Every one of us couldn’t believe what they were seeing… imaging the hell you must have gone through. It was a pretty big shock. Frankly I don’t know how you’re not going outta your mind!”

Elizabeth looked down. He’d notice her eyes water before she broke her gaze. “I’m not… ready to talk about what happened. Not yet. I just… I just need time.”

John nodded, understanding completely. Slowly he grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. “Just don’t push any of us away, okay? Heightmeyer, Ronan, Teyla, Rodney… me… we just want to be there for you. You’re more than just the leader of Atlantis. We’re your family… and you’re ours. Strength in numbers… right?”

Sheppard grinned when he finally saw it, an inkling of a smile… a REAL smile. “Right… I promise.”

John gave her a quite nod, and then stood. “I’ll let you get some sleep. I know you need it.”

“Don’t leave.” She said it so quiet… John hadn’t been sure if he heard her. He looked into her eyes, looking for a clue as to what she was saying. Finally she spoke again. “Strength in numbers.”

John nodded, sitting back down, and grabbing her hand. “Sleep. I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Elizabeth just looked at him for a second, before closing her eyes and drifting off, knowing he’d be there to give her strength. John smiled. He’d always be there to give her strength.

To Be Continued….
The Road to Recovery by Major Dork
Healing

By Major Dork

Summary: For two weeks Elizabeth Weir was tortured, but when Colonel Sheppard finally saves her, it’s not her physical wounds that need healing….


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Part Three “The Road to Recovery”


The road to recovery had been a long and hard one, but wasn’t exactly taken alone. Sheppard had visited her every day, making sure to bring the rest of his team with him. Weeks passed and slowly but surely her wounds began to heal. She could walk without a limp once more. Her chest and stomach weren’t as tender and sore. She’d look in the mirror to notice yet another bruise or cut fading on her damaged skin. Scares took the place of wounds, and things slowly got back to normal for everyone… everyone except for Weir.

Doctor Heightmeyer although hesitant, had finally allowed her to return to duty. Thanks to the Ancients and their technology, her wounds had healed faster than ever, allowing her to get back to duty a lot faster than she would have without it. Still, nothing felt the same. It had become harder and harder to concentrate. Her mind drifting to the cave where Doctor Weir had truly been killed. Elizabeth knew she wasn’t the same, nothing could ever be again. Not when her nightmares had changed from blood sucking aliens and Genji such as Koyla, to Selis and his men… torturing her till she was praying for death. She felt cold… lost.

Still, Weir did her best to ignore what had happened, to ignore how stiff her left arm sometimes was after her bone being shattered as it had been. She still ignored the fact that she got more headaches than ever before. And she certainly didn’t want to think about the bruise still residing on her left breast. In the end it didn’t exactly work, but it did get her through a day. That was really all she cared about in the end. She just needed to get through… whether she slept or not could be worried about later. Elizabeth could also see her friends changed in the way they dealt with her. Suddenly Rodney McKay was the most understanding and patient man she’d ever known. Ronan Dex was suddenly tender and caring, no longer the rough man he’d once been when they’d first met… even to the point that when she’d accidentally tripped, he’d actually PICKED HER UP and carried her all the way to the infirmary. She had to admit, it had been sweet. Teyla hadn’t changed much considering she was always patient, understanding and caring, but she had been checking up on Elizabeth more than the Doctor would have liked. Sheppard had changed most of all. Suddenly breakfast, lunch, and dinner were a huge priority. He never let her miss a meal. She was forced to go to bed by him way more than she cared to admit, and it was getting to be a pain that every time she had a headache he was ready to rush her to the infirmary as if she were too weak to deal with it herself. She knew he was just worried about her, but she also knew it was too much.

Elizabeth sighed, walking out and standing in her usual spot on the balcony. Peace. That’s what she needed right now… some peace and quiet. She knew everyone in Atlantis meant well. She knew Colonel Caldwell’s ‘drop bys’ to see how she was doing were just him being concerned for her. She knew Doctor Heightmeyer’s sessions with Weir were just to keep her centered, but it was frustrating. She was starting to feel like everyone saw her as a fragile vase that at any moment could break into a hundred different pieces. Carson, who’d pretty much been the only one treating her normally, had told her they were simply worried, fearful that she hadn’t completely gotten through what happened back on that planet, but the truth was… she was NOT going to break. She was NOT going to just collapse on the floor and cry herself a river. She may not have been fine, but she was NOT that fragile. She COULD handle it, and WAS handling it! Anymore of this and she was sure she’d snap… which everyone would probably think was connected with her capture. She just couldn’t win these days!

“There you are!”

Elizabeth frowned, closing her eyes for a moment. She was caught. Great. There goes her peace. “Here I am!” she spoke back, giving a small smile as she turned around… it was fake, but it would do.

John Sheppard frowned at her, folding his arms. “You were supposed to meet me for lunch… remember?”

“John, we ALWAYS meet for lunch… and breakfast… and dinner. I’m taking the meal off today,” she told him, glaring back at him.

“You know that’s not healthy, Elizabeth!”

“I’m an adult, John… if I want to be unhealthy that’s my choice.”

John’s eyebrows rose for a second in surprise, then he smiled. “Elizabeth, am I gonna have to call Carson?”

“Go ahead; he’s about as tired of seeing me as I am of him. I’m a big girl, John, stop trying to take care of me. I can take care of myself!”

John rolled his eyes. “Will you stop that! I’m tired of you continually telling me that! If you could take care of yourself then you wouldn’t have skipped lunch! You’d be eating and sleeping regularly like you should be!”

“What I do is NONE of your concern!” she snapped.

“Elizabeth, I’m your friend! I’m just trying to help!”

“I never asked for your help!” she yelled. When she saw the hurt look on Sheppard’s face, she sighed. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done and continue to do for me… but you treating me like a child has got to stop! If I’m not hungry, I’m not eating. If I’m not tired, I’m not going to force myself to sleep! I’ve been taking care of myself long before I ever met you! Carson says I’ve gotten back most of my original body weight… I’m healthy and with the acceptation of an occasional headache and a sore left arm… I’m okay.”

Sheppard looked down for a second. Then sighed. “Yeah… okay,” he whispered.

“John, I don’t want you to think-“

John looked back up, shaking his head. “Yeah,” he muttered, interrupting her. Finally he turned around and walked back inside, leaving Elizabeth behind.

Doctor Weir frowned, knowing she’d hurt him. “Dammit!” she swore. No matter what she did, she could NEVER win! Not for the first time, Elizabeth wished things could go back to the way they were… back before she’d been brutally tortured back in that cave. After a brief look back out at the ocean, she walked inside… back to work.

==

It was a dark and damp place. She could hear a steady dripping nearby. She could feel herself lying on a hard, yet slightly damp surface… it was a bit jagged. Uncomfrotable. Slowly her eyes began to adjust… Elizabeth moaned, curious of her surroundings. A cave… she was in a cave. The last thing she remembered was speaking with the leader of the Lorwayins. They’d been trying to come up with a reasonable trade for them to live on the mainland. Then… they were attacked. She could still remember Sheppard screaming for everyone to get down. Smoke had surrounded them and it hadn’t taken long before she felt something hit the back of her head. Elizabeth moved a hand to the back of her head. Her head was pounding… probably from whatever had hit her. It was then that she heard something… footsteps.

Elizabeth watched the mouth of the cave, waiting. Finally a man appeared before her. “Doctor Elizabeth Weir of Atlantis.”

Elizabeth shakily got up to stand. “You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

“Selis. Doven Lec Selis. I am the man that will be delivering you to the gods.”

“The gods.”

“Yes,” he nodded, then a smile appeared on his face, making Elizabeth feel uneasy as he looked her up and down. “But I’m sure you know them better as… the Wraith.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, shocked. “You serve the Wraith!”

“Yes, and in turn they allow us to live. Now that I have captured you, the gods will be very pleased with me.”

“The Wraith kill humans and feed off them! How can you serve them as your gods?!”

“Because they ARE gods! They destroyed the Ancestors! They are powerful! They feed off humans because we are weak! Inferior! Now quiet!”

Elizabeth glared at the man, knowing right away that she would not like where this was going.

Finally to took out a device and showed it to her. “This will be the thing you fear… a gift from the gods. When I ask you questions and you do not answer, you will experience pain unlike anything you have ever imagined. This cave will be your grave once the Wraith come to learn what I have gotten out of you… and then you will be fed upon. This place will be known to you as a place of torment and pain! I will keep you just alive enough to get what I want from you… and in the end… I will break you,” he told her, walking closer and closer to her. Elizabeth took a step back each time. He gave her a small smile before moving his finger to a button on the device. Finally he pressed it, forcing a scream out of her lungs as she fell to the floor, holding her head in agony. Once he took his finger away from the device he grabbed her hair, pulling her head back. “That was the lowest setting. The very highest… if activated enough could kill you. Every time after a session, if you have not answered my questions until I am satisfied, I will bring it to a higher setting until there are no more. Is that understood?”

Elizabeth winced as he pulled her head back tighter.

“IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!” he spat.

“Yes,” she managed, closing her eyes.

“Good.” Selis let go then, walking away.

Elizabeth opened her eyes and watched as Selis spoke to two other guards. This was not good. This REALLY was NOT good! She could only hope Sheppard would find her soon… before he reached the highest setting on that thing. Suddenly the guards walked towards her, Selis standing in the shadows. They grabbed her roughly. She tried to struggle, to get away from their grasp, but with no success. “No! What are you doing?!” she screamed as the grabbed her clothes, tearing them off. She tried to cover herself, tried to fight them, but they would only smack her, punch her every time she resisted. When they’d finished undressing her they throw her to the ground once more. Elizabeth shivered, cold and naked. She could feel fear grip her as she realized these men were no joke. It was only then that she realized how bad this could get.

The two men handing Selis her torn clothes then walked back toward her. Elizabeth moved away, quickly. “No!” she screamed, afraid at what they might do. One grabbed her leg as she tried to crawl away, pulling her to them roughly, making her cry out in pain as the rough rock below her, cut into her skin. “No! No! Get off me!” she yelled, kicking and screaming as they pulled her up. Elizabeth noticed the ropes hanging from the ceiling of the cave then just as they grabbed her arms, tying the rough ropes around her wrists. She tried to struggle, to get away. Even to the point of biting one of the men’s hands, but all he did was wince. She yanked her arms against the restraints once the men were finished, watching Selis walk back toward her. He didn’t even ask a question… just pressed the button on his device once more and sent shocks of pain in her system. “Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

==

“Nooo!” Elizabeth screamed, jerking up in bed. Sweat poured down her face, her breathing quick, her chest tightening. Dammit! Would she ever shake these nightmares?! Weir kicked the covers off her and left her bed, walking into the bathroom. She could see her imagine in the mirror, circles around her eyes… a cut on her left temple… one that was still on the mend. Doctor Beckett hadn’t bothered much with the cuts, focusing the Ancient technology mainly on the important things… the broken and cracked things. Elizabeth turned the sink knobs, running cold water on her hands before splashing it on her face. She really needed to get this out of her system… before she never got a good night’s sleep again. Even the sedatives wouldn’t do anymore.

Elizabeth knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep now… not after that damn dream. She just wished she didn’t feel so… alone at the moment. It struck her then that there’d been one person who’d assured her many times that she wasn’t. But would he care after their fight that afternoon? Weir took off her pajama bottoms and shirt, changing into a dark red shirt and jeans. Moving out of her room, she walked down the empty hallways. It was still pretty late. Maybe she should just go to the gym instead? But what would she do there? Jog? Practice the moves Ronan had taught her after she’d been captured to ensure that she could defend herself a little better if it ever happened again? It was then that Elizabeth realized she’d reached John’s room. The Doctor hesitated, knowing that it wasn’t a good idea to wake up, but also realizing she really had no where else to go. She could head to her office, caught up on paper work, but she doubted she’d be able to concentrate. With a deep breath, she knocked lightly. If he was awake he should hear it… if he was asleep and didn’t answer the door, she’d let it be. Weir waited… and waited… and waited until finally turning around to leave when the door slid open.

“Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth turned to see John staring at her in surprise, wearing sweat pants and no shirt. She had to smile as she noticed Sheppard’s hair though… it looked almost exactly the same as when he was on duty… did the man even own a brush? Elizabeth moved back a little to face him, looking down. “I… just… ah… well I haven’t been sleeping well… and tonight… I had a pretty bad nightmare.” Finally she looked up to see Sheppard’s face soften. “I was hoping… god… I don’t know what I was hoping. This was a really bad idea, maybe I should just-“

“Elizabeth,” John interrupted, giving her a small smile. “Come on in,” he then told her, moving to the side to let her in.

Elizabeth’s smile grew as she walked inside his room. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I wasn’t really sleeping anyway… I could use the company. Go ahead and take a seat.”

Elizabeth looked around his room before realizing that all the chairs were occupied with John’s things… leaving only the bed. “Where?” she finally asked, a bemused expression on her face.

John laughed as he realized what she meant. “Right… sorry. Just go ahead and sit on the bed while I… find a shirt,” he muttered, looking through his piles of clothing. “I was kinda… moving things around, so everything’s a bit messy.”

“It’s fine.”

Finally he found a gray Air Force T-shirt that matched his sweat pants and put it on, turning back around and sitting beside her. “You okay?” he asked her after a few moments of silence.

Elizabeth frowned at the question. He’d asked her that same question so many times, yet for once her constant answer didn’t seem to work. “No… not really.”

“Wanna tell me about it?” he asked gently.

Weir smiled, looking down. “No, but I’m starting to wonder if I even have a choice in the matter.”

Sheppard moved his arm around her slowly, pulling her toward him. Elizabeth knew at any other time she would have tensed, become uncomfortable with him touching her this way, but instead she leaned into his touch, letting her head rest on his shoulder. “What did you dream about?”

Elizabeth felt her smile melt away as she thought about what happened. “I dreamt about the day when I was captured. I keep seeing these parts of what happened in my nightmares. It doesn’t matter what I do. It’s all I can think about anymore.”

“You did go through something pretty horrific. You can’t expect yourself to just get over it over night.”

“I know, I know… I just wish… I just wish I could get away from it. I miss the way things used to be! Before Selis captured me, before he did this to me!”

“I know you do.”

“It’s not fair, John! And I don’t know how to deal with it anymore!”

“I don’t think anyone would know how to deal with what you’ve been through. Elizabeth, I know it’s hard. I know you just want to forget it ever happened, but it DID happen, and there’s nothing you or I can do to change that… no matter how much we want to. All we can do is lean on each other… knowing we’re not alone.”

Elizabeth couldn’t help but smirk at his words. “Isn’t that what I’m doing?” she joked, her head still on his shoulder as she leaned against him.

John chuckled. “I suppose so.” Finally he turned around, forcing her to move her head from his shoulder. “It’s getting pretty late, and you need your beauty sleep.”

“Are you kicking me out?” she asked, half joking. Part of her feared that was exactly what he was doing.

Sheppard shook his head. “Sleep with me.”

Elizabeth stared at him in surprise, not exactly registering what he meant. “Look John, you’re a great guy and everything… but-“

“I’m not talking about that kind of sleep, Elizabeth. I mean actually getting into bed with me and dreaming… you know… actual sleep. I can be in bed with a woman and not jump her bones you know!” he told her in mock annoyance.

Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow at the man before her, shaking her head, her nightmare forgotten. “Okay.”

John smiled, nodding his head before the two moved up on the bed, getting under the covers. “Okay,” he whispered back, getting comfortable next to her, lying on his back.

Elizabeth closed her eyes, moving her head over John’s chest, wrapping her arm around him. She could feel John move an arm around her, his hand on her back, holding her to him.

“Good night, Elizabeth.”

“Good night, John.”

With that the lights went out and the two fell into a blissful sleep. Elizabeth wasn’t surprised that her nightmares did not come again that night.

To Be Continued…
Joint Effort by Major Dork
Healing

By Major Dork

Summary: For two weeks Elizabeth Weir was tortured, but when Colonel Sheppard finally saves her, it’s not her physical wounds that need healing….
Spoilers: A small spoiler for an episode in season ten called “Misbegotten” but it’s only one sentence and it doesn’t say much!
A/N: I decided to lighten it up just a bit, but with Rodney around how can you not! lol Oh and please review!!!! That is… if you want more. :)


A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*A*


Part Four “Joint Effort”


“You slept with Elizabeth!” exclaimed Rodney.

“Louder Rodney, I don’t think they heard you on the Mainland!” John snapped, glaring at the Doctor. “And it’s not what you think! We just went to bed together!” John sighed, shaking his head at the smirk Rodney was sending him. “Okay, bad choice of words. We just slept… nothing else. We didn’t do anything but sleep.”

Rodney folded his arms, shaking his head in surprise. “You know you really ARE Captain Kirk!”

“She was really upset, McKay! I would never take advantage of Elizabeth like that! I have way too much respect for her to EVER do anything like that. She just… she needed me! All we did was talk… then we went to sleep. I really think she just needed to get things off her chest. She didn’t say much, but I could tell it helped.”

“Why exactly are you telling us all this anyway?” asked Rodney.

“Because I don’t know what to do to get her to relax! Last night was something, but she’s still going through something none of us could ever understand.” John looked over at Ronan and sighed. “Okay, so none of us could understand it completely. Either way, I think she just needs to get her mind of things… relax… be in an environment that will help her let go. Now, aren’t we going to the Mainland this weekend?”

Teyla smiled, realizing what he was saying. “You wish for Doctor Weir to join us.” It wasn’t a question.

“Well, I know it started off as just a team thing, but Carson’s coming… so I figured… maybe we could take Elizabeth too.”

Ronan shared a look with Teyla before speaking. “It might be just what she needs,” Ronan agreed.

John grinned. “Great! Now I just need to figure out a way to get her to come with us….”

Rodney gave his own smile, getting up to slap John on the back. “Great, have fun with that. I have work to do!”

“Oh Rodney!” John called, grabbing McKay’s arm.

“Ouch! Colonel, that hurts!”

“Tell anyone about Elizabeth spending the night in my room and I promise you I’ll hurt you so badly your grandchildren will feel it,” he threatened.

Rodney laughed nervously, only to notice John staring at him with a serious expression on his face. His smile slowly evaporated, a fearful look taking its place.

“Agreed?” John asked.

Rodney nodded his head enthusiastically, not wanted to tempt fate. “Of course Colonel Sheppard… I would NEVER do that to Elizabeth… uh… can you let go of my arm now? I’m starting to lose feeling.”

John slowly let go of McKay’s arm and watched with amusement as McKay scurried away, rubbing his arm.

==

John watched Weir as she stood on the balcony, staring out at the ocean. He had to admit, if at least to himself, that Elizabeth Weir was a beautiful, attractive woman. His morning hard-on against Elizabeth’s ass had confirmed this. What bothered him most was the fact that since she’d been captured and rescued, John had been going out his mind. He was afraid for her, worried, concerned… and the fact was he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so protective of a woman other than his mother. Oh sure, he hadn’t much liked anyone messing with his girlfriend when he had one, nor had he really liked someone messing with a friend of his that was of the female race, but it was never this strong. Teyla had been the first one he’d felt protective of in a long time, but the fact was, she could handle her own. He respected that about her. Then suddenly, too suddenly for his liking, his protective nature had switched gears. When Kolya had told him that Weir was dead, John had felt an anger he’d never felt before… a rage so strong that he was sure he would have found a way to kill the man with his bare hands.

Since then it had only grown as he’d come to know her better and better. What worried him was that his attraction was mutating into something far stronger… and far more dangerous. What also worried him was that he got the feeling this trip to the mainland would bring those feelings to the fore…. John cleared his thoughts. Focus John! We need her to come on this trip, whether you’re nervous about it or not! Finally Sheppard walked out onto the balcony. “Good morning, Elizabeth… again,” he said with a grin. The last time he’d said good morning they’d been in bed together.

Elizabeth turned back to look at him, grinning back. “Good morning, John… again.”

She was absolutely adorable. John frowned at the thought, not liking his line of thinking. The hell was going on with him? “How you feeling?”

“Well rested… for once,” she answered truthfully. “You?”

“Well rested,” he said back, playfully. Elizabeth let out a small laugh before turning back around to look out at the ocean. John walked over next to her, following her gaze. “You know I never get tired of coming out here with you. It’s kinda become our spot… hasn’t it?”

“I suppose so, though I’ll admit… I never really thought of it like that.”

“Ronan, Teyla, Rodney, Carson, and I are going to the mainland this weekend. It’s sorta become a tradition every couple of months… to just head towards the beach… spend the weekend under the stars. We were hoping you’d come along this time.”

“Me?” she asked, surprised.

“Yeah. We’re leaving tomorrow morning. Colonel Caldwell is going to keep watch of Atlantis while we’re gone… that is if you decide to come. We leave in the morning, swim, have a picnic, sleep under the stars, and then come back. It’s a great way to relax, and I really think you’d enjoy it. It’s been a rough year after all. We could all use a break.”

“As in you mean I could use a break,” she corrected.

Sheppard could see the annoyance on her face. “I mean as in we could all use a break. I mean, I did turn into a Wraith this year, and let’s not mention the fact that McKay almost got his life sucked out of his chest along with Ronan… and I think Teyla misses her people. Even Beckett’s had a few things to deal with after that whole prison thing. We all know it’s been a tough year or so for you, and we figured you could use this… some rest and relaxation. Besides… who could ever pass up swimming? Rodney’s looking forward to seeing you and Teyla in bathing suits. Ronan wants to learn how to dunk. And we all know Carson loves packing for picnics. He’s already promised us turkey sandwiches and pasta.”

Weir smiled at Sheppard, shaking her head. “I wish I could, but after two weeks stuck in a cave with life-sucking alien worshipers as my only company, I’ve gotten a little behind in my reports. If I’m ever going to keep up I need to work a little longer than usual.”

“Yes well you certainly seem to be hard at work at the moment,” he teased, giving her a small smirk so she’d know he was joking.

“I’m taking a twenty minute break… and as for the rest… maybe another time.”

“Elizabeth, you need to relax… if last night told you anything, it’s that you need to get your mind off things for a while. You’re tense, Elizabeth. This weekend break could be just what you need.”

“John-“

“Come with us and I promise you I’ll get the others to ease off you. Everyone’s been pretty worried about you since you were kidnapped… this could be the thing to let everyone see that you’re doing okay! No more likeable Rodney who I know has GOT to be freaking you out by now. No more over protective Ronan. No more checking up on you over and over again by Teyla.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at the man before her. “Are you blackmailing me?”

“Is it working?” he asked back, using his charm to his advantage, giving her a boyish smirk.

“A little too well actually.”

“Good.”

Elizabeth sighed, thinking it over for a second, and then finally turned away from him, looking back out at the ocean. “It would be nice to have a little fun for once, and I haven’t gone swimming in years.”

“Great! You’ll love it! I promise! I’ll come by your room around 0600 to pick you up then we’ll head towards the jumper bays and be off! Just be sure to pack for the beach. We’ll be there the entire time.”

Elizabeth nodded and watched Sheppard practically skip out the door. This would certainly be interesting.

==

By morning she was already regretting her decision to come with the gang to the beach. She knew Sheppard would never give up if she declined now, but she was worried… worried that this weekend would only make things worse rather than better. With that much time doing nothing, she was sure she’d find herself contemplating what happened not that long ago a lot. That was something she’d been trying to avoid by diving into her work. Not to mention the nightmares. Most of the time she found herself screaming in her nightmares… jolting her awake. John Sheppard being aware of this problem was one thing, Carson Beckett knowing what she went through was no big deal, but Ronan, Teyla, and especially Rodney knowing what was going on was quite another thing.

It was then that she heard the knock on the door, signaling that Sheppard had arrived at her door. Elizabeth sighed; shaking her head, then walked to the door and opened it. “Good morning!” he said cheerfully.

Elizabeth tried to smile back, but her mood had been ruined since thinking about all the things that could go wrong. “Morning.”

“Something wrong?” he asked as he watched her gather her things.

“What?” Upon seeing the worried look in Sheppard’s eyes, she shook her head. “Uh sorry, I’m just a little tired.”

“Oh, well feel free to sleep on the way to the Mainland. Beckett’s gonna take Ronan and Teyla. You and Rodney are coming on my jumper. We better get going.”

“Yeah,” she muttered and followed Sheppard out of her room and towards the Jumper Bay. She knew she wouldn’t be taking a nap on the way, too worried about her nightmares to even think about sleeping in front of the two others that would be present. This was going to be one long weekend.

==

By the time they reached the Mainland, Elizabeth was happy to be free. Rodney McKay was a good man, perhaps, but spending that much time with the man had been too much. She didn’t understand how Sheppard, Ronan, and Teyla did it! Elizabeth walked out of the jumper and smiled, breathing in the salty air, enjoying the sound of waves crashing against the shore. “Nice isn’t it?” asked Sheppard smiling proudly.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. Although Weir had been to the mainland before, she’d never been to the beach. She had to admit, she felt a bit more relaxed already… especially now that she was no longer stuck in a puddle jumper with Rodney….

When the other jumper powered down, Ronan and Teyla walked out first. Teyla smiled, walking over to the others, Ronan behind her. “It is a lovely day.”

“Why yes it is,” Sheppard agreed looking over at the two resident ‘aliens.’ Finally Beckett emerged from the second puddle jumper. “We should get the tents up first. I was only able to get three so we’ll have to share. I also brought blankets and extra towels just in case.

The other’s nodded, though Elizabeth didn’t seem very happy. Her day just got worse. She’d have to share? But who would she be partnered with? Teyla? Ronan turned to look at Teyla. “I’ll grab our tent and get it up.” Okay, obviously not.

Teyla nodded to him. This left Carson, Rodney, and Sheppard. Sheppard turned and smiled at her. “I think I’ll go with Ronan to set up our tent, Elizabeth, be right back.”

Elizabeth was about to ask what he meant by ‘our tent,’ but he’d already left. Well they had shared a bed together… so why not a tent? Rodney smiled and clasped Carson’s shoulder. “Well, I guess that just leaves you and me.”

Carson rolled his eyes. “Oh joy,” he muttered. Elizabeth gave a small snort at that, shaking her head.

McKay glared. “I’ll go get OUR tent up. Why don’t you just get the food out for lunch. I’m hungry.”

“Nothing shocking there,” he mumbled once Rodney had left. Making Teyla and Elizabeth laugh.

Teyla then turned to look at Elizabeth. “Would you care to join me on a walk? I usually enjoy walking around the beach while everyone sets things up. I would enjoy the company.”

Elizabeth wanted to join the woman, it was true, but for some reason her mouth said otherwise. “Actually… maybe another time. I’m just a bit tired. I think I’m going to just sit for a while.”

Teyla bowed her head. “As you wish, Doctor Weir.” Finally she left for her walk.

Beckett turned to look at Weir, a worried look on his face. “You do look a little tired Elizabeth, maybe you should go ahead and rest for a wee bit.”

“I’ll be fine. I think I’ll just go find a comfortable place to sit for a while.” With that she hurried away from the others, suddenly feeling the need to be alone. It wasn’t long before she found a rock mass nearby, that she sat nearby, away from the others. She sighed as soon as she knew she was out of view. This had been a bad idea. She wasn’t up for this. She knew she should be over what happened by now, but she wasn’t. Even with her friends she still felt something in the pit of her stomach telling her she was alone. She found herself uncomfortable around the people she cared about, even Sheppard, although last night had helped with that. She didn’t want to be alone, and yet it was also what she craved more than anything. Thankfully, the waves had a calming effect on her, and she was able to relax, if even for a little while as she waited for the tents to go up and the food to be ready.

“I always loved this spot,” came a voice that startled her out of her internal thoughts.

“Colonel!” she greeted as she noticed him behind her.

John smiled warmly, and then moved to sit with her. “The others were worried. They hadn’t seen where you went.”

“I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I think I just needed to sit and relax for a while.”

“Well that is what you’re here for… it’s what we’re all here for.”

“Well it’s working. It’s actually pretty nice, to finally let your hair down and just… rest… no Wraith, no Genii, nothing but the water and the sand.”

“I know what you mean. You never realize how important that is until your sitting there alone, finally relaxed… there’s nobody around and you can finally think in peace.”

“Why do you think I go to the balcony so much?”

John nodded, seeming to understand. She knew he’d been through hell himself many times, and probably understood what she went through. “I remember the last time I sat here. It was not long after we lost Ford.”

“Really?” she questioned in surprise.

“I had a lot of thinking to do after that. Soon I’d have to face Ford’s family and tell them their son was missing because of me. It wasn’t exactly something I was looking forward to.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t really matter in the end… because no matter how many times I tell myself that… I refuse to believe it in my heart.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him. He’d never spoken this way with her; it was strange to say the least. “I guess I know what you mean.”

John turned to look at her and sighed. “Look, I know we’ve all gone through hard times since we reached Atlantis… but we always knew it was worth it… worth it to fight for the city that’s become our home. It never gets easier… things always go wrong… and sometimes there are those things that happen… that change your life forever. They change you, shape you. You no longer are what you once were.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment. “How do you possibly get through it? If it never gets any easier… if each time you’re changed because of it… how do you get past it? How can you still smile and laugh after everything you’ve been through?”

“You don’t get past it, Elizabeth… you don’t even get to forget it. Instead, you learn from it and make damn sure that it doesn’t win. If your strong enough… it won’t.”

“And if you’re not strong enough?”

John moved his hand to touch her back, rubbing it for a second. “You’re stronger than you know, Elizabeth,” he assured her before getting up and heading back to the others.

Elizabeth watched him leave until he was out of sight. Then frowned. Sheppard seemed to have faith in her, but she wasn’t so sure he was right. She wanted to be strong, she wanted to make sure what she’d been through didn’t win… didn’t take over her life, but she didn’t know how to fight it. She was losing a battle she didn’t even understand. She’d need more than strength to fight these memories. She just hoped she found out what it was before the war was over….

To Be Continued….
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